Great Balls of Fury

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Great Balls of Fury Page 5

by Annabel Chase


  “What about me?” Anton asked. “I liked the chief.”

  “Your wife is working late. That means you have important duties here,” my mom said. She inclined her head toward Olivia, who sat quietly on the couch paging through a picture book. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was titled The Little Demon That Could. A gift from Otherworld, no doubt.

  “Aunt Thora will be here,” Anton said. I noted that he failed to mention Grandma.

  “Aunt Thora is in bed already,” my mother replied. “She’s not active enough to handle your feisty children.”

  “Ryan’s already in bed,” Anton said.

  “I’ll put the little demon to bed,” Grandma said, appearing out of nowhere.

  Anton shifted uneasily. “On second thought, I think I’d like to be here when Verity gets home. Give her a nice foot massage.”

  Grandma slid her foot out of her slipper. “You can practice on me until she gets home. I’ve got a bunion that won’t quit.”

  Anton grimaced. “That’s what magic is for.”

  “Sally and I will meet you over there,” my father said. Apparently, he didn’t want to see Grandma’s bunion either.

  “Grandma, put your slipper back on,” I said. “You’re frightening Olivia.” I’d noticed my niece was fixated on her great-grandmother’s bare foot.

  “I’m not frightened,” Olivia said matter-of-factly. “I’m merely curious. Mommy says the human body is nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I’m not ashamed,” Grandma said. “I’ll show you.” She began to untie the belt on her robe.

  “Grandma,” I said sharply.

  “You need to loosen up, Eden,” she told me. “Maybe have a drink before you go out to drink.”

  “I don’t need to drink to loosen up,” I countered. “I’m a very relaxed individual.”

  Everyone stifled a laugh and my mother hurried away to fix her face, or whatever she did in the bathroom for excessive periods of time.

  “What?” I asked. “It’s true.”

  “Prove it,” Grandma said. “Have a glass of one of your aunt’s lemon sours.”

  Aunt Thora’s homemade lemon sour? “No need to twist my arm.” It was like nectar from the gods and I knew this because Anton and I had pilfered some from the liquor cabinet when we were teenagers. Anton drank so much that he…

  “We agreed we’d never mention that again,” Anton said, interrupting my thoughts. He wasn’t psychic, but he often seemed to know what I was thinking. Genetics at work.

  “You can risk a glass,” I said. “Grandma keeps adult diapers in her closet if you need to borrow one.”

  I expected to incur the wrath of both of them. Instead, my grandmother was strangely quiet. “Let me get that drink for you. You don’t want to miss out on the festivities like your brother here.”

  “Auntie Eden, will you read this to me?” Olivia held up a different book than the one she had earlier.

  I moved closer to read the title.

  Grandma handed me a glass filled with lemony goodness. It slid right down my throat and warmed my belly.

  “Now that is a perfect drink,” I said. I handed the empty glass to Grandma.

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  “Aren’t you going to have any?” I asked.

  “What makes you think I haven’t already?”

  “Let’s go, Eden.” My mother emerged from her bedroom, fluffed and folded. She stopped short when she saw me. “You haven’t changed.”

  “I never said I was going to.”

  “That’s her way of saying ‘is that what you’re wearing?’” Anton said.

  “I speak Mother fluently, thanks,” I said. “And both of those statements are passive aggressive.”

  “It’s just that the Cheese Wheel will be full of eligible young men,” my mother said.

  “What is this, Jane Austen?” Grandma griped. “She moved home two seconds ago. You don’t need to marry her off to the first drunken bozo she bumps into.”

  “Thank you, Grandma,” I said.

  “I mean, that’s how you ended up married to Stanley Fury,” Grandma continued. “We don’t need history to repeat itself.”

  My mother turned and stomped toward the front door. “Come along, Eden.”

  I grabbed my handbag and followed her to the car.

  Unfortunately, the first people I saw when I entered the bar were Clara and Sassy. Sassy was flirting with two guys in muscle shirts and Clara looked bored out of her mind. I couldn’t resist a smile.

  “Go and talk to Clara, honey,” my mom said. “I’ll be mingling over there.” She waved a hand in the air.

  “Eden, I didn’t think you’d come tonight,” Clara said, as I approached.

  “It was Dad’s idea.”

  “Here, I’ll buy you a drink,” she offered.

  “Don’t be silly,” I said. “I’m the one who should be buying you a drink after the way I behaved.” I started to maneuver my way to the bar, but the room was thick with people.

  “Hold on,” Clara said. “Tell me what you want and I’ll have Sassy get it. She’s an expert.”

  I’ll bet. “I’ll have a Cheddar Fizz.”

  Clara smiled. “Missed the house specialty, did you?” She tapped Sassy on the shoulder and whispered in her ear.

  “Excuse me, fellas,” Sassy cooed. “I need to order a round of Cheddar Fizz.”

  “Oh, let me get those for you,” the beefy guy said. “Three?”

  “That’s so sweet of you,” Sassy said. She touched his arm.

  “I thought she was with Tanner,” I whispered to Clara.

  “He’s out of town until tomorrow morning,” Clara said.

  No sooner did I have a drink in hand than a ghost came rushing toward me. Okay, not an actual ghost like Alice, but much, much scarier.

  Tanner’s mother--Gale Hughes.

  I sucked down the drink as fast as I could.

  “I thought that was your black head darkening our doorstep, Eden Fury,” she said. She somehow managed to sound racist about my hair color. “What happened? Relationship gone bad so you cut and run…again?”

  The ‘again’ dangled between us. She was baiting me and I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of biting. Tanner’s mother was under the delusion that her son walked on water and, thus, was permitted to walk all over everyone in his path.

  “I got a promotion,” I lied. What was a little white lie between enemies?

  Gale frowned. “A promotion brought you back home? What kind of job considers Chipping Cheddar a step up?”

  “Hey,” Clara interjected. “This is a great town.”

  Gale brushed past me to kiss Sassy’s cheek. “Hello, daughter.” The men Sassy had been flirting with eased away with Gale’s appearance. Older woman repellant. Worked every time.

  “Not daughter yet,” Sassy said brightly. “Maybe this year, though.”

  Gale pinched her cheek. “Patience is a virtue. A guy like Tanner only comes along once in a lifetime.” She tossed me a haughty look over her shoulder. “Sometimes it bears remembering.”

  I found it ironic that Gale cared so much about our breakup when she never wanted me to date Tanner in the first place. She disliked my whole family, and had made it clear from our first date that she didn’t approve. She thought Tanner was a gift from the gods and that he deserved better than ‘that strange Fury girl.’ Sassy made more sense. The blond cheerleader and all-around bitch was right up his alley.

  Gale maneuvered past us to speak to a woman I didn’t recognize. I noticed Sassy’s relieved expression.

  “You don’t care for her?” I queried.

  Sassy bit her lip, clearly debating whether to confess this perceived sin of disliking her future mother-in-law. “She can be a bit much, you know?”

  I knew all about ‘a bit much’ in my house. “She’s not so bad if you compliment her. She soaks it up like my father soaks up…” I nearly said ‘rev-energy,’ but I caught myself. Rev-energy is the
term we use to describe the energy he absorbs from the revenge he inflicts on his victims.

  “The sun,” Clara finished for me. “He’s a total sun worshipper.”

  I offered a grateful smile. “Anyway, Gale likes you a lot better than she ever liked me, so you’ve got that in your favor.”

  Sassy visibly relaxed. “Another drink, Eden?”

  I emptied my glass and set it on the bar. “Sure. Why not?” I was already feeling the effects of the first drink, which was surprising. I figured it was just the intense atmosphere. Too many blasts from the pasts.

  The next thing I knew, my father was standing on a table and demanding that everyone raise their glasses in honor of the chief.

  “To the chief,” everyone said in unison and drank.

  The music quieted so that people could tell stories about Chief O’Neill. The time he saved a cat from a tree. The time he drove around town in his cop car with a little boy suffering from cancer. The ride had been the boy’s dying wish.

  “Where’s Sean?” Sassy asked, scanning the crowd.

  “I’m sure he’s on duty until a new chief arrives,” I said.

  “Sean would make an awesome chief,” Sassy said.

  “A potato would make a better chief than Sean,” I shot back. To my surprise, both girls laughed.

  “You’re fun when you’re drinking,” Sassy said. “You should do that more often.”

  “You’re fun when you’re not being a complete tart. You should try that more often.”

  Sassy smiled. “How about another round?”

  “Or better yet,” I said. “Shots!”

  Clara gave me a funny look but said nothing. I bought a round of tequila shots and we downed them before Clara and Sassy decided they needed the restroom. My bladder was as supernatural as the rest of me. I could go for hours without needing to pee, and, for some reason, decided to share that last bit with Sassy.

  She laughed as the two of them disappeared down the narrow corridor.

  I stood beside the bar and ordered another drink while I waited for them to come back. I assumed Sassy was taking the opportunity to unload on Clara about me. It was fine with me. I’d do the same later--who cares if it was to Alice? Ghosts were excellent listeners.

  My head was slightly dizzy and I wondered whether I should slow down. Then again, I was fun, according to Sassy. I liked being fun. It made me feel—normal.

  “Excuse me. Are you Eden?”

  I turned to see a gorgeous guy in a uniform towering over me. He had to be at least six foot three. My legs went numb at the sight of his sea-green eyes and square jaw. Even through the stubble, I glimpsed a dimpled chin.

  I choked up as I attempted to answer. “I’m Eden,” I croaked.

  “I’m Chief Fox,” he began, and I started to laugh.

  “Fox? Oh, nice one,” I said. “Who put you up to this? Sassy?” They probably lied about going to the restroom. It was all a ruse to play a joke on me.

  He squinted. “Who’s Sassy?”

  “No, I bet it was my grandmother.” She accused me of being uptight earlier. Chief Fox was likely her way of trying to loosen me up. I wagged a finger. “Whoever it was, tell them they can’t fool me. I’m a federal agent.” I tapped the side of my head. “That makes me smart.”

  He tilted his head, seemingly perplexed. “Fool you? In what way?”

  I stuck my finger in his dimple and gave him a gentle push. “You’re probably naked under those clothes.”

  He grinned. “That’s basically how clothes work.”

  “Ha-ha,” I said. “How long before you take them off?”

  “Excuse me?” Chief Fox, or whatever his real name was, pretended to be taken aback by my question.

  “You’ve got an innocent face, Foxy. I’ll give you that much.” I patted his cheek. “Those eyes, though.” I sucked down the rest of my drink. “Everything I see there is dirty, dirty.”

  His dirty eyes twinkled with amusement. “I think I chose my moment unwisely. It’s just that I heard you were here and you’re on my list of people to meet.”

  “Oh, I bet.” I looked him up and down. “Just out of curiosity, how long is your so-called list?” I placed my palm flat against his chest. “No, wait. Don’t tell me. You can show me later.” I winked at him.

  “I think it’s best if we postpone this conversation,” he said.

  “Eager to get to the good stuff first, huh?” I reached up to unbutton the top button of his shirt. “I bet those abs deserve a badge of their own.” My fingers stopped when I noticed his actual badge glimmering under the artificial lights. “That’s a pretty realistic badge, Foxy. Looks just like the chief’s.” I sighed dramatically. “Such a good man. He will be missed.”

  “I understand that’s why the bar is so packed tonight,” he said. “Looks like half the town came out to celebrate his life.”

  “Eden?” Clara returned to my side. “What are you doing?”

  I looked at her and smiled. “Playing with my new toy. Isn’t he pretty?” I grabbed Foxy’s face and squeezed his cheeks. “Not too shabby waking up to this every day, is it?”

  Clara frowned. “Um, Eden…”

  Sassy emerged from behind Clara. “I think she wants you to cuff her, Chief.”

  Foxy gently removed my hand from his face. “As long as she’s not driving home, I think I’ll leave her be.”

  “Leave me be?” I slurred. “Not much of a stripper then, are you?”

  Sassy began to laugh hysterically. “Oh, this is a dream come true. Please keep talking.”

  Clara slipped an arm around my waist. “Eden, this is the new chief. Sawyer Fox.”

  “You’re so funny, Clara,” I said. “Has anyone ever told you that?” I leaned my head on her shoulder. “I’ve missed my best friend.”

  Foxy stuck out his hand. “Chief Sawyer Fox. It’s nice to meet you, Agent Fury.”

  I stared at him, unblinking. My head remained on Clara’s shoulder, which was starting to trigger a cramp in the curve of my neck. “Who told you I was an agent?”

  “Well, you did, but I already knew. I’ve been getting up to speed on everyone in town I should speak to,” he replied. “I thought the Cheese Wheel would be a nice icebreaker.” He paused, his gaze lingering on me. “Which arguably it has been.”

  Slowly, I lifted my head. “So you’re…not a stripper?” A burp escaped me and I covered my mouth, mortified.

  “Only when it’s time for bed,” he said, plainly amused.

  My brain struggled to make sense of the situation. “Then why do you look like an underwear model?” He looked like a guy who liked to do push-ups on his paddleboard while out in the bay.

  “Do I?”

  I faced Clara. “I don’t feel very well.”

  “How about I take you home?” Clara asked.

  “Seriously?” Sassy demanded. “She’s back in town for two seconds and already ruining our fun?”

  Chief Fox took one look at Sassy’s pinched face and turned back to me. “It was a mistake to come here tonight, I can see that now. I’d be happy to escort Eden home.”

  “Oh, we’ll take care of her…” Clara objected.

  “No, really. It’s no trouble,” he said. “My car is right outside. I’ve got the flashing lights and everything.”

  I was too tired and unwell to object.

  Clara removed her arm from around my waist, not realizing she was the only thing holding me up. I immediately plunged to the floor.

  Chapter Six

  I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. No surprise there.

  “You look absolutely terrible,” Alice said, hovering over me. “Is it the pox?”

  “It’s not the pox,” I mumbled. My mouth was too dry to speak properly.

  “You overindulged?”

  “Apparently.” I struggled to sit up and the room tilted. I fell flat again. My body wasn’t ready to face this day.

  “Who’s Chief Fox?” Alice asked. “Is he the repla
cement for Chief O’Neill?”

  I pulled the covers over my face as last night’s events came flooding back to me. Dear gods. I only just moved back and now I’d have to leave town again. Forever.

  I flipped down the covers. “How did you hear about him?”

  “Your mother and grandmother were talking in the kitchen this morning. They said he carried you out of the Cheese Wheel and into his police cruiser. According to your mother, it looked like the final scene from An Officer and a Gentleman, except you were waving around an empty cocktail glass instead of a factory cap.”

  I wanted to die. How did I get so drunk on cheap cocktails? They weren’t anything special. The Cheese Wheel was known for its weak drinks.

  I peered at Alice. “Did you hear them say anything else…about me?”

  “They said that, by the end of the night, your hair looked like you’d been caught in an electrical storm in the Grand Canyon.”

  Lovely. “Anything else?”

  “They said Chief Fox was delicious.” She paused. “I never really understood that way of describing someone you find attractive. Modern language has taken quite the turn since my time.”

  I was inclined to agree—he was delicious. A memory sharpened in my mind. My fingers attempting to open the chief’s shirt.

  “Sweet Hecate,” I said. I turned to the side and puked—straight into a bucket. “How did that get there?”

  “Your mother brought it up this morning,” Alice said. “She seemed to think you’d need it when you awoke.”

  She either thought I was drunk enough to vomit or she knew that I’d been spelled, most likely because she or Grandma was the witch responsible. I rolled off the mattress and climbed downstairs to confront the guilty party. I took a detour at the bathroom to brush my teeth because I couldn’t stand the lingering taste of last night on my tongue.

  I found my mother in the kitchen with Grandma and Aunt Thora. My mother had just removed a hot pan from the oven and placed it on the stovetop. The smell of fresh banana bread was usually a welcome one, but right now I wanted to run back to the bathroom.

  “Good morning, Eden. How are you feeling?” Verity stood in front of Ryan’s highchair, trying to spoon-feed him.

 

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