by Ava Walsh
For her heart, and the sake of the baby, she had to leave and never come back.
That night, after the concert, they made love. When it was all over, and she lay curled up in Devon’s arms, she couldn’t keep the tears from flowing.
“Hey” —he caressed her cheek, wiping the tears away— “why are you crying? Tell me what’s going on in your head.”
Burying her face in his neck, she pulled him closer. “Just hold me, all night.”
“I’ll hold you every night, if that’s what you want, Min.”
She nodded, skin-to-skin. It was exactly what she wanted, and she wished for the thousandth time that this had happened down the road, later, so that she could know if he really wanted to be with her or would just be doing what everyone told him he had to do.
He’d needed to date a girl-next-door to clean up his image. If she ended up pregnant, his record label, his manager, even her brother would insist that he marry her. He didn’t need a scandal of this magnitude, or they’d undo everything they had accomplished for his career.
She’d never know if he wanted her and the baby or if he’d do it just to keep his contract and his band together. If she disappeared from his life, no one had to know the baby she had was his. No one would even bother to come looking for her. She’d be a blip on the radar, that one chick Devon Jennings had dated for a couple of months. At least it had been real. She could console herself on the long, lonesome evenings ahead of her with that.
Chapter Fourteen - Mindy
The plane ride home was quiet. Mindy didn’t know how to start talking to Bret about Devon. He’d go ballistic, she knew that, and on a plane that might get him in trouble with security.
They rented a car at the airport. They only had a little luggage to put in the trunk. Mindy had shipped most of her new clothes to her mother’s house. Not that it mattered. Before long, she wouldn’t even be able to fit in them. Even now, the waistband of her jeans dug into her stomach.
Mindy climbed into the passenger seat. Bret turned the ignition and the sports car roared to life. She touched his hands and tears sprang to her eyes. She wanted to tell him before they got home so he could help her open up to her mother. Mom would be so disappointed that Mindy had altered the course of her life in such a drastic way.
“I have to tell you something, Bret.”
He turned to face her, the car idling in the background. “Min, what’s wrong?”
“Everything.” She began to sob and it took her a moment to get hold of herself. He put an arm around her and pulled her closer to his side of the car.
“Okay, I have to tell you something and you have to promise to not get mad.”
“At you? Why would I be mad at you?”
“Not at me.” She sniffled and leaned back so she could face him. “At Devon.”
“Damn it, he didn’t! Did he touch you?” Bret’s face turned bright red and his hands clenched into fists.
“It’s more than that. We’ve been having a relationship. Pretty much the entire time.”
Bret punched the steering wheel, over and over. “I’m going to kill him.”
“It wasn’t his fault, Bret. I pushed for it. I… I’m in love with him. I always have been.”
“I know that, Min. Everyone knew that. Devon had to know, too, so he took advantage of your feelings for him.”
Mindy brushed the hair from her face and pulled a wadded up tissue from her purse. She’d been crying so much lately. “He didn’t take advantage of me. I was going to take my courses online and go back on the road with him.”
“But, what? He dumped you?” He shook his head and faced her again. He put a hand on her leg. “I’m sorry, that was a jackass thing to say. What changed? You said you were going back on the road with him.”
“First I need your promise. What I’m about to tell you, you can never tell anyone, never talk to anyone about it, except, well, Mom has to know. I have to tell her.” She dried her face and pushed her shoulders back. She had to face this hard reality. “Do you promise?”
“It depends on what it is.” He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. He could be so obstinate. And overprotective.
“No. I won’t tell you if you don’t promise. I’m begging you, as your sister, to promise me.”
He laced his fingers through hers on her knee. “Fine, I promise.”
She nodded, and her shoulders slumped. Thank God. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re… you’re in trouble?” He used the old euphemism, clearly not able to say the words yet.
“Not in trouble. Everything will be fine. I’ll still take my online courses. I can do my dissertation from home. I’ll still get my doctorate. It just may take me a little longer. Life will be pretty busy with a baby. Well, obviously.” She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Let’s get you home. Mom can take care of you. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“I know it will, Bret. I’m not worried about that part. I’m going to miss Devon.” She glanced at him as he pulled the car out of the lot.
He tightened his hands on the wheel. “No, you won’t. That bastard is going to marry you. Even if he won’t do it because it’s the right thing to do, he’ll do it because if someone finds out, the record label will be ready to kick us out on our asses again.”
“That’s the very last thing I want, Bret. Please, hear me out. I love him, you know that. I can’t be some burden for him, some woman he leaves at home. I’ve seen the parties after every show. How long would he stay faithful to me if he were forced to marry me? If he loved me back, it’d be different, but he doesn’t. He never said it to me, not even once.”
“He’ll stay faithful or I’ll kill him. Not sure I’m not going to do that, anyway.”
She sighed. “It’s no good. You can’t fix everything. Let me handle this in my own way.”
He was silent a long time. Long enough for Mindy to remember that night at the zoo, their first night together, and every night since. She wiped her eyes with the tissue. It was time for her to grow up. Fairy tales were for children, and him being in love with her would only be some fairy tale she told herself.
“Fine. I won’t tell anyone,” Bret said at last.
Chapter Fifteen - Devon
Devon had been at his home in L.A. for a week and he hadn’t heard one word from Mindy. She’d agreed to call him after she told Bret.
In a tearful goodbye in the privacy of their hotel room, she’d told him she loved him and that their time together had been the most wonderful time of her life.
It had sounded a lot like goodbye, so he couldn’t kick the doubt creeping in that he should call her and make sure everything was okay.
He lay on his empty bed and thought about how much fun they’d had on the road. Touring had never been that way for him. It was something he had to do, and he’d go to the parties and hook up with some random groupie. The whole experience, he realized now, had left him with a hole.
A hole Mindy had filled to bursting with her vibrancy and devotion. She’d been there for him. They’d talked about his difficulties growing up with a father he could never please. That’s why he never went back to Indiana because Devon couldn’t stand to be there.
That night, the one when she’d set out to seduce him had been the single most passionate night of his life. He’d never felt that way for anyone. It was just the two of them, and damn the rest of the world.
He had to call her. Maybe she hadn’t worked up the courage to tell her brother yet. The number was exactly the same now as it had been years ago when they were kids, and he knew it by heart.
Before he could lose his nerve, he dialed the area code, then punched in the rest. It rang twice before Bret answered. “Yeah?”
They had caller ID, of course, Devon’s name had come up. “I want to talk to Mindy.”
“You son-of-a-bitch! I should fly there and wipe the streets with you right now. You’ve got some nerve calling here and asking to speak to her.�
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Okay, so she’d told Bret and he was pissed. Devon had expected no less. “Look, you can be mad at me. I don’t care. But Mindy is a grown woman and she can make her own decisions about who she wants to talk to.”
“You still don’t get it, do you?” Bret’s voice was laced with venom. “She doesn’t want to speak to you ever again. She told me so herself when you called.”
“I don’t believe you.” Devon gripped his phone tighter.
“Min, he doesn’t believe me. I told you this would happen.”
There was a rustling on the other end of the line and then Mindy said, “Devon?”
“Min, it’s so good to hear your voice, sweetheart. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but… Bret wasn’t lying.” Her voice shook and she sniffed like she was crying. “I don’t want to see you anymore. It’s over. Just leave me alone… don’t contact me again.”
The phone clicked off, and Devon held it from his face and stared at it. Did that really happen? Mindy never wanted to see him again?
What had he done wrong? He wracked his brain, trying to think of something. Maybe when he went upstairs and got wasted, she’d decided he couldn’t be trusted. But he hadn’t looked at another woman, not once since Mindy had been waiting in that room to find out what kind of favor her big brother needed. There had been no one but Mindy. But, hell… maybe he’d done a shit job at showing her that. He’d never once told her he loved her, had found it hard to say the actual words.
What did he do now?
Chapter Sixteen - Mindy
Mindy sat cross-legged on her bed, psychology books all around her. Her baby girl, Katy, was nestled between her legs. She looked up at Mindy, blue eyes wide. Light blonde hair covered her little head.
“Mommy has to study. Let’s see… name three traits of a sociopath. Do you know?” She tickled Katy’s chin, which made the baby chuckle. “You don’t know. You’re no help at all. That’s because sociopaths are not very nice people.”
Mindy’s mother appeared in the doorway and gave her a grin. “The two of you enjoying criminal psychology?”
“I’m finding it fascinating but Katy prefers being tickled.”
“Should I take her for a bit, so you can study?” Her mom wrapped her arms around Katy’s middle, aching for an excuse to take the baby and play with her. She seemed to love having a little one in the house.
“Sure. I’ve got a test tomorrow anyway.”
Her mom came and picked the baby up. “I’ll just give her a bath and start getting her ready for bed.”
“Mom, I can do those things. Go enjoy your time with her. I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes to take care of bath time.”
The phone rang and Mindy shrugged. She didn’t know who could be calling. It probably wasn’t for her. She’d lost touch with all of her friends when she didn’t go back to college. They had no interest in the struggles of being a young, single mom. “I’ll get it,” Mindy said.
She hopped up and trotted into the kitchen, snatching the phone off its hook on the wall. “Hello?”
“Hey, Min.” It was Bret calling from New York. He’d told her that the new album wasn’t going well at all.
“Hey, big brother. What’s up?”
“How’s my favorite niece?”
“Spoiled by her grandma. How’s my favorite brother?” She carried the cordless with her into her bedroom and sat back down amongst her books and binders.
“Just left the studio. Min…” He paused and she wondered if he were going to say anything else. Normally, he called to complain about how bad the whole recording process was this time around. “Devon’s a wreck. He misses you.”
She put down her criminal psychology textbook to listen. “He told you that?”
“He doesn’t have to. I’ve known him most of our lives. Trust me.”
“You just remember, you promised not to tell anyone about the baby, least of all Devon. Okay?”
Her brother sighed. “Yeah, and I’ll keep my promise. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell him about her. I think he’s looking for something that’s missing in his life. I think it’s you and Katy will be like icing on the cake.”
“He hasn’t called me, hasn’t come to see me. I’m not hard to find, Bret. I’ve accepted that he never really loved me. You should, too.” She stretched her legs out on the bed. She had the urge to push all the books onto the floor. She was tired, so tired from studying, taking care of the baby, and helping around the house. To be honest, her heart still hurt when she thought about how easily Devon had accepted her demand that he never contact her again.
She’d meant it, but a small part of her had hoped she mattered too much to let go that easily.
Maybe that had been the problem, though. She’d wanted him to prove himself so bad, she’d shoved him away and then been upset that he actually respected her enough to listen.
“You still there?” her brother asked.
“Mm-hmm. Just thinking about some things.”
“Okay. Well, take care of you and that sweet baby, all right?”
“Promise. Bye.”
What would she do if Devon actually called her? How would she react, especially since a year had passed? She honestly didn’t know. She’d either tell him to go to hell or beg him to give her and the baby a chance to make him happy.
Chapter Seventeen - Devon
It had been a year since Mindy had left him, had told him not to contact her ever again. They were recording a new album, and things were tense. Bret had stormed out of the recording sessions at least a dozen times. Devon didn’t know if August Doll would survive his love affair.
“Let’s take a break,” Devon said, as tempers began to flare, once again.
“Screw you,” the drummer said and walked out. He might or might not be back today. Devon sighed. Didn’t matter. They could record his drum tracks later if they had to. He was desperate to make this work. Without Mindy, what else did he have but his band?
Devon strolled over to Bret, picking at his guitar, a sullen look on his face. He sat down beside his former best friend. “This isn’t working.”
“It hasn’t worked for a year. You’re only now realizing that?” Bret replied.
“You’ve got to let go of how pissed you are at me.”
Bret put his guitar down and stared at Devon. “You abandoned my sister when she needed you the most.”
“That’s not at all what happened, and you know it. She told me to stay away. I’m just… honoring her wishes.”
“Please.” Bret ran a hand through his short hair, mussing it on top. “You’re scared your old man is right.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Devon turned to look around the studio. Instruments were scattered around the room. They couldn’t seem to find the sound they were going for.
“He always said you’d screw up your life, and I guess he was right. You let Mindy go, and you’re obviously going to regret that forever.”
“I thought you wanted me to stay away from her.” Devon turned back to Bret, giving a slight headshake. Something tightened around his chest. “Isn’t that why you’re so pissed at me?”
“I’m pissed because you weren’t man enough to go after her. Once I got over the fact that you took advantage of her—”
“I did not.” Devon pushed himself up off the couch.
“—and realized that it was a relationship on both sides, I’ve been waiting for you to man up. But it doesn’t look like you have the balls for it.”
Devon took off, out of the studio, out of the building, into the crisp fall air. Leaves were falling here in New York where they were recording the album. People strolled about, milling around everywhere. He needed to clear his head.
Was Bret right? Had he really let Mindy push him away because he was scared to fight for her? Would she even still want him?
What if she had someone new, in college? What if she’d met someone her age, smart like her, w
ith similar interests, and moved on with her life?
But… what if she hadn’t? What if she still loved him? Devon turned quickly and ran back to the studio. He burst in as Bret was putting his guitar away in his case. His breath came in short pants. His lungs were on fire now. “Your sister… is she at… the University? Or is she… home?”
“What do you care?”
“Because I’m going to find her. Tell her I love her. Hope like hell she’ll take me back since it took me so long to realize it.”
“Well, it’s about damn time. She’s home. If you want my sister, you’ve got to go back to Indiana.” Bret gave him a questioning look.
Devon hadn’t been back to Indiana since they left on their newly purchased tour bus several years ago. “Watch me.”
He pulled out his phone and called his manager while he headed back to the hotel to pack. “Chet, get me on a flight from New York to Indianapolis today. Rent me a car, I’ve got to drive a bit. You get all that?”
“This sounds like trouble,” Chet said.
“I don’t give a damn.”
Chapter Eighteen - Devon
Devon turned the car off outside of Mindy’s mom’s house. It was small and modest, the house where he’d hung out to play video games with his best friend. Bret had wanted to buy his mom a new home, but she wouldn’t have it.
It looked like maybe no one was home. Their mom’s car was gone. But then he saw someone, Mindy maybe, walk past a sheer curtain in the living room. Okay. He clutched the keys tightly. He was going to do this. He had to convince Mindy that he’d been miserable without her, couldn’t live without her another day.
Devon climbed the porch steps and gave a resounding knock on the front door. He waited for what seemed like an eternity.
Finally, Mindy opened the door. Her mouth and eyes went wide with shock. “Devon, what are you doing here?”
“Can I come inside? To talk.” He swallowed hard as his stomach clenched like a fist.
She looked around the living room. When she looked back at him, her eyes shone brightly. “Yes, but only for a few minutes. My mom is at the park, but she’ll be back soon.”