by Cross, Amy
“But if he -”
“So how did it actually go with Dad?” she asked, clearly keen to change the subject. “I'm popping over to clean his kitchen tomorrow, so it'd be nice to know what I'll find. Any blood-stains?”
“I offered him what he wanted,” Ben continued with a sigh. “After all these years, I finally offered it to him on a plate, it was his for the asking, but the old man is such a fucking coward.” He paused. “That's always been his problem. He's the kind of man who continually circles, but never plucks up the courage to land.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Just...” Ben paused for a moment, thinking back to the moment earlier at his father's place. “I told him he just had to ask me. He couldn't do it. Or he wouldn't. Either way, he didn't.”
“You've lost me,” Beth replied. “What was he supposed to ask you?”
“The same thing everyone in this family wants to ask me.”
“Not everyone,” she pointed out.
“Never mind. It's probably just me being melodramatic, but... I thought if I offered him the chance he'd take it, and we could end this charade once and for all. It's been fifteen years, I figured there was a possibility that he'd be willing to grow up and admit what he did.”
“Thanks for trying,” she said after a moment. “I know it can't have been easy to see him again.”
“You know he was wrong, don't you?”
She paused. “Why do you even have to ask me that?”
“Because I know Jack still has doubts.”
“I'm not Jack.”
“And I'm grateful for that.”
“What Dad did to you that day...” She paused again, with tears in her eyes. “Ben, you know I've always trusted you and I've always believed in you. What Dad did to you that day, when he took you to...” Stepping over to him, she gave him a hug, holding him tight. “What Dad did to you that day was unforgivable and I've always, always known that there's no way you could have done those things. You're my brother, Ben, I think I'd know if you had that kind of personality. I mean, I hope to hell I would.”
“Thanks, Sis,” he replied, putting his arms around her. “That means a lot to me.”
“And don't worry about Jack, he's just got a bug up his ass.”
“What's it about this time?”
“Who knows?” she replied, heading back over to the kettle. “You know what he's like, he has a series of bugs and he swaps them around from time to time. Pulls one out, pops another one straight in. I stopped paying attention a long time ago.”
“Don't worry about tea for me,” Ben muttered, heading to the door. “I'm beat and I want to get up early tomorrow morning. There are a few things I want to check out.”
“You sure?”
“Thanks again for letting me stay. I'll try not to snore too loud.”
She smiled, before waiting as the kettle boiled and as she heard Ben heading upstairs. Once she was sure she was alone, she took her phone from her pocket and brought up the browser again. She'd been struggling all day to get the 'other' internet working, and she was constantly worried that someone was about to burst in and ask her what the hell she was doing, but at the same time her curiosity was building. Finding an image-board, she saw some of the titles and felt another shiver, and then she clicked on the first.
She grimaced as soon as she saw the photo of a man who'd been shot in the head. Half his skull had been blown away, leaving pieces of his brain dripping down the side, and his eyes were wide open, staring at the camera almost as if somehow he knew people were looking at him.
Taking a deep breath, she clicked through to the next image, and this time she saw photos from an autopsy, showing a girl with her chest sliced open to reveal her heart and other organs. The next image showed her head, the top of which had been cut off to expose her brain. She spent the next few minutes looking at other images from the autopsy: a brain in a steel pan; a heart being weighed; close-up shots of the girl's stab-wounds.
Standing alone in the dark, silent kitchen, Beth swiped from one image to the next. Each offered some new horror, something to fill her soul with dread, but she couldn't stop looking. Dead women, mangled men, murder victims, rotten corpses that had lain undiscovered for months, even shots of prisoners getting murdered by terrorists in distant lands... After a while, even those seemed to become less horrific, as she found more and more images that dragged her deeper. When she saw a child in one shot, his body having been torn apart by wolves, she considered stopping, but something just forced her to keep going, deeper into the dark images. Eventually, grabbing a cup of tea, she went and sat at the kitchen table, and the hours slipped by as she continued to explore the photos. Decapitations, drownings, electrocutions, dismemberment... They swam past her eyes, filling her soul with visions of horror.
***
“You want a lift?” Hayley asked as she and Katie headed out of the building and into the cold night air, with just a hint of light showing on the horizon. “I don't know where you live, but Bowley's not too big.”
“Sure,” Katie replied, touched by the gesture. “Thanks.” Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that Simon was a little way behind, leaving his office. “Can I catch you up?” she asked, turning back to Hayley.
“You want to talk to the boss about something?”
“I'll be real quick.”
“Okey dokey, but don't be too long.”
Once Hayley was across the street, Katie turned and waited for Simon to emerge from the building.
“Good job tonight,” he said with a faint smile. “See you tomorrow.”
“Can I have a word?” Katie asked.
He checked his watch. “I'm tired, can't it -”
“I want to go down to the next level.”
Stopping, he stared at her for a moment, as if he couldn't quite believe what she'd said.
“Don't tell anyone else,” she continued, checking to make sure Hayley hadn't come back, before stepping closer to him, “but I heard about the level below the level I've been on, and I heard there's more money in it. I really just want to make some cash so I can get out of town in six months or a year, so...” She paused, hoping that he'd jump in and tell her it was okay. “So could I at least be considered?”
“Starting to find the first level tame, huh?” he asked.
“It's not that, I just... I'm fine with how things are and I think maybe I could take a little more.”
“A little more?”
“A lot more,” she replied, correcting herself. “I'm pretty tough, I've surprised myself over the past few nights. I'd really like to... I mean, I think I could totally do it. I wouldn't let you down or anything.”
“The next level of The Border is...” He paused again. “It takes things to new extremes, Katie, and -”
“I can handle that.”
“By extremes, I mean -”
“I can handle it,” she said again. “Hayley told me a bit about it, I get that it's very different, I just... I mean, I feel like if someone else can go down there, then why can't I?”
He stared at her for a moment, looking her up and down as if he was imagining what it would be like. “Why not, indeed?” he asked finally, with a faint smile.
“So you'll think about it?”
“I'll think about it.”
“I won't let you down,” she continued. “I feel like I've been a model worker so far, I've taken everything that's been thrown at me, and really so far The Border hasn't been nearly as extreme as I expected on that first night, so... So I just hope you'll give me a shot, that's all.”
“We all deserve a shot,” he replied.
“So I'll see you tomorrow night,” she added with a smile. “I really look forward to proving myself.”
“See you tomorrow night,” he replied, turning to walk away. He glanced back at her after a moment, but he said nothing else and quickly headed on his way, disappearing into the shadows at the next corner.
“Hey!” Hayley shouted from further
down the street. “You want a ride or not?”
Hurrying to catch up, Katie couldn't help but grin.
“What were you two talking about?” Hayley asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Katie told her, figuring that she needed to be discreet, at least for now. “I just wanted to thank him for the opportunities he's given me.”
“Right,” Hayley replied, unlocking the doors but eying Katie with a hint of suspicion. “Cool. I guess there's nothing wrong with that.”
***
“Mummy?”
Suddenly, Beth realized someone had been trying to get her attention. Looking over at the door, she saw her daughter Lucy staring at her with tired eyes.
“What... What are you doing up, sweetie?” Beth asked, checking her watch and seeing that somehow it was already almost 7am. She hadn't noticed, but the first fringe of morning light had begun to light the south-facing kitchen window.
“Shouldn't I be getting ready for school?” Lucy asked. “I'll get in trouble if I'm late.”
“Of course,” Beth replied, closing the browser window and getting to her feet. For a moment, she felt a little dizzy, but she managed to steady herself and forced a smile as she headed over to Lucy and took the little girl's hand. “I guess Daddy didn't come home last night, huh? Let's get you into the shower.”
“Is uncle Ben okay?”
“I think so,” Beth replied. “Why?”
“Nothing,” Lucy muttered as they headed upstairs. “I just thought I heard him talking in his sleep. He sounded mad about something.”
Epilogue
Fifteen years ago
“But why me?” Ben asked, looking out the window as the car reached the town square. “Seriously, you never ask me to come along with you. You always get Jack to help out, seeing as like he's the most favored son n'all.” Turning to Harry, he frowned. “What changed suddenly?”
“I just thought a change might be good,” Harry replied, keeping his eyes on the road as he took another left, taking them down the side-road past the police station. Parking up at the side of the road, he switched the engine off. “You're always complaining about being treated like the black sheep of the family, so I figured I'd invite you along today to help me pick up some stuff. That way you can't complain anymore, can you?” Looking at Ben's bleached blonde hair, he sighed. “How much longer are you gonna keep that going?”
“As long as I enjoy it,” Ben told him. “It's an expression of who I am on the inside.”
“You're blonde on the inside?” Harry asked, unfastening his buckle and then getting out of the car. “God, I really don't understand how your mind works. I don't understand any of my kids, Ben, but you? You're the weirdest.”
“I'll take that as a compliment,” Ben replied as he got out of the car. “Don't worry, though, I'm sure I'll get tired of being blonde soon. Maybe I'll try pink next.”
Harry frowned.
“So where are we going first?” Ben asked with a smile.
“This way,” Harry muttered, leading him across the street and back toward the police station. “We've got a few things to be doing. I hope you can get over your natural aversion to hard work.”
“I've never been scared of hard work.”
“Don't see you doing much of it.”
“You'd be surprised,” Ben replied, stopping as his father opened the door at the front of the station. “Talking to you is hard work sometimes. What are we going in here for?”
“Come on, we'll just be a few minutes.”
“But why are we here?”
“Do you ever give up on asking questions?”
“Uh, no. I find a questioning mind is a healthy mind, Dad. What gives with coming here?”
“Nothing gives,” Harry replied, holding the door open. “You said you'd come and help out with some things I want to get done, so will you just come in with me, please? The sooner we go in, the sooner we're done and we can get onto the next thing on the list. Please, let's not have a big discussion every ten paces.”
Cautiously, Ben stepped into the station, although he felt his skin crawling a little as he looked around. Having never been a big fan of authority, he'd steered well clear of the police, an approach that he'd intended to maintain all his life. Just being in the station made him feel all itchy, and the smile was gone from his face as he looked at the noticeboard on the far wall. Although he kept telling himself he was being paranoid, he couldn't shake the feeling deep down that something wasn't right.
“Alex?” Harry called out. “You in here?”
“In the back!” Alex called through to him. “Come on through!”
“This way,” Harry said, gesturing for Ben to follow as he headed past the main desk.
“What's this about, Dad?” Ben asked.
“Just come this way.”
“Dad, seriously...” Pausing, Ben watched as his father headed to the main office, and then he listened for a moment as he was greeted by Alex. They were just exchanging pleasantries, but Ben couldn't shake the feeling that there was an undercurrent, as if his father had brought him to the police station for some ulterior reason that he wasn't quite ready to admit yet. Taking a few steps forward, he looked around the corner and saw that his father and Alex were discussing something else, something that seemed more serious, something that had caused them to lower their voices.
“Hey,” Alex said with a smile as soon as he saw Ben. “How are you doing there, boy?”
“I'm okay,” Ben replied cautiously.
“Jesus, that's some bright hair,” Alex continued. “Your father told me you'd dyed it, but wow... Is this what the kids of today are doing with themselves?”
“It's an expression of who he is on the inside,” Harry replied with a grin. “Go figure, huh?”
“Looks like you're trying to scare the girls away,” Alex added, taking a set of keys from his pocket and stepping past them both, before starting to unlock the interview room. Pulling the door open, he turned to Ben. “Or do they like that kind of thing these days? I'm so glad I grew up in a simpler time, when girls admired a guy for his level-headedness and his steadiness, rather than fashion or whatever else is going on. When I grew up, teenagers weren't really a thing. I myself was never one. How old are you again, Alex?”
“I'm fifteen.”
“How's school?”
“Fine,” Ben replied cautiously. “Why?”
“Just wondering.” Alex paused for a moment, before turning to Harry. “Any trouble I should know about?”
Harry shrugged.
“What about -”
“What's going on?” Ben asked. “Why are we here?”
“Well...” Alex paused again, as if he was feeling a little uncomfortable. “I'm guessing you heard about the two girls who were murdered recently. Lindsay Horne and Lucy Carter, both strangled and dumped near the town.”
“I heard.”
“And you probably heard that we're having a little difficulty tracking the culprit down. That doesn't mean we don't have leads, it just means we're still working very hard to find the individual who's responsible. You'd think it'd be easy to spot a monster in a town full of regular folk, but we'll find him eventually. Not to hurt him or anything like that, just to get him the help he needs. I mean, anyone who does such horrible things to two women is clearly in need of a great deal of help, wouldn't you say?”
“That's one way of looking at it,” Ben said cautiously.
“And the thing is,” Alex continued, “with the second murder, we got a report from someone who saw a guy out in that area on the night. Now it's very shaky, it's not much to go on, but my gut feeling is that the guy who was spotted out there might well be able to help us with our investigation. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this guy might be the one we're looking for. So we can help him, you understand.”
“Okay,” Ben replied, feeling a knot of fear growing in his belly. “But why are we here? Why am I here?”
Alex paused again. “The only real des
cription we got of the guy we're looking for,” he continued finally, “is that he's medium height, slim build...” Another pause. “And blonde hair.”
Ben swallowed hard.
“Like dyed blonde,” Alex continued. “Pretty unusual for a guy, huh?”
Turning to his father, Ben saw the suspicion in Harry's eyes.
“And Harry called me up,” Alex added, “and said he'd read that description, and that he's not implying anything at all, but he said that maybe he should bring you down here today so that you and I could have a little chat. Clear the air, see what comes up, that kind of thing.”
Ben opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He simply stared at his father as he felt a sense of pure hatred starting to rise from his gut and spread through his chest.
“You're not being interviewed as a suspect,” Alex continued. “Let's get that clear, okay? It's more that I want to have a little chat with you and rule out certain things.”
“Like where I was on the nights those two girls were strangled?” Ben asked, his voice thick with tension.
“Yeah,” Alex replied with a smile, “exactly like that.”
“And do I have to tell you?”
“Do you have to?” Alex paused. “Well -”
“Just talk to the man,” Harry said firmly, patting him on the shoulder. “Ben, that's the only reason I brought you here. To talk to him.”
“It is, huh?”
Harry nodded. “And to clear things up, to make sure that there's nothing here to worry about.”
“So how about it?” Alex continued. “It'll be just you and me, Ben. Your father won't come in, he'll wait out here, to keep things professional. It'll be you and me, going over some things, and it'll take forty minutes, maybe an hour at most.”
“Forty minutes?” Ben asked. “That seems like a little more than a chat.”
“It's a thorough chat,” Alex told him. “Real thorough.”
Ben paused for a moment, staring at his father, before turning and starting to make his way into the interview room. His hands were shaking, poised to clench into fists, and his eyes had filled with a sense of pure, unadulterated fury as he heard Alex shutting the door and sealing them both in the room. On the far side of the room, there was a table with two chairs, and on the table there was a tape recorder.