The Rocker That Loves Me

by Terri Anne Browning

  Lucy had been texting me off and on all evening. She had been back to school for a few days now, and she loved the creative writing class her teacher had put her in. The kid had a wild imagination that was for sure. Half the things she wrote about I couldn’t determine if it had actually happened or not.

  When the doorbell rang I had my mind on half a dozen other things than who could possibly be stopping by unannounced. I was rereading a text from Lucy, laughing to myself as I jumped up off the couch and crossed over to the door. I figured it was Axton, bored now that America’s Rocker was over for the season.

  If not Axton, then it was Dallas stopping by to pick up something that Harper had left here that she wanted to borrow. It wouldn’t be the first time Dallas stopped by out of the blue just to pick up a pair of shoes or a shirt. Sometimes Linc was with her, and I always welcomed spending time with my new muscle headed pal. It didn’t bother me that Linc was gay, and now that I knew for sure that he was, I felt a hundred percent better about his friendship with my girl.

  The knocking came again before I could reach the door, more insistent this time, and I rolled my eyes. Yup, it had to be Dallas. No one else I knew would be so demanding after only a minute of waiting. I jerked the door open. “Give a man a break, bitch….”

  I broke off when I found a girl that looked no more than sixteen or seventeen standing on my door step. With her dark brown hair with golden highlights falling halfway down her back, she looked even younger than I suspected her to be. Eyes that were so familiar I had to blink a few times before I could focus on any other facial feature.

  “Do you always greet people like that?” Came the smart ass reply that she’d inherited from her mother.

  “Only the ones that annoy the hell out of me,” I assured her, leaning against the doorframe. “What do you want, Nat?”

  “I need your help…”

  Chapter 21

  Harper

  I frowned down at my phone.

  Shane wasn’t answering. I had been calling for two days now, and he hadn’t picked up once since I’d been gone. I would have been worried that something had happened to him if he hadn’t answered my texts.

  Each reply was the same. He was busy and couldn’t answer my calls because he didn’t have a free second to talk to me. I was confused as hell. He was free as a bird right now. Emmie didn’t have a tour scheduled for at least a few months, and then it was only for two weeks. He didn’t have anything music related to deal with, and I knew that he had nothing other than friends and working out to keep him occupied.

  When I had called Dallas to ask if she would go over and check on him she had sent Linc. But when Linc had stopped by after work, Shane hadn’t been home. Or he at least hadn’t answered the door, and Linc said he had knocked for at least ten minutes.

  I had even called Emmie, wondering if she had heard from him. She hadn’t talked to him in three days, which wasn’t like Shane at all. Those two couldn’t go more than a day without some kind of communication. Emmie had then called Layla, and Layla said that Lucy hadn’t talked to him since the first evening I had left. Their text conversation had suddenly ended, but Lucy hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.

  I could only come up with one conclusion.

  Shane was tired of me and blowing me off.

  The longer I thought about it, the more plausible that conclusion felt. Shane was just burnt out on me, had gotten his fill, and now I was getting the brush off. My entire body felt like it was being stabbed with a million little pinpricks at the thought. My heart was cracking with every passing minute, and I was having to fight back tears as I boarded my northbound plane the next morning.

  My first thought was to go home and hide under the covers. But the more pain I felt over my breaking heart, the angrier I became. So I gave the taxi driver Shane’s address instead of my own. It was late evening and I was dog tired after two sleepless nights and a stress-filled plane ride from Miami. So when the doorman offered me a smile and a “good-evening Miss Jones,” I didn’t even look twice at him.

  I was too mad, too hurt, and still rehearsing what I planned on saying to the fucking rocker that thought I was just going to go away quietly.

  When the elevator opened onto Shane’s floor, I got off and used the key he had given me months ago. The lights were on in the living room so I knew he was home. I went straight to his room, expecting him to be in the shower. This time of the evening he was probably just getting home from the gym for the second or even third time.

  But he wasn’t in there.

  “Shane!” I yelled his name, knowing that he had to be somewhere in the freaking apartment.

  The noise from the guest room made me turn in that direction, and I threw the door open without bothering to knock. The light was on and the bed was a mess. Unless Emmie or one of the others were in town, this room was closed up, the bed always made, and the lights off.

  A muttered curse caught my attention and I stiffened. It hadn’t been Shane’s voice, but a very feminine one. Stomping through the room, I pushed the bathroom door open to find a nearly naked girl standing in front of the shower.

  I got a glimpse of long dark brown hair, big eyes, and a gaping mouth before I turned and ran.

  Fucking rocker!

  Tears spilled from my eyes, and I didn’t even know the real reason for them. I didn’t know if it was because I was so mad or because I was so destroyed. Stupid, stupid, stupid rock stars!

  I tossed my key on the table by the door as I grabbed my overnight bag and slammed the door behind me. How dare he do this to me! How dare he claim to love me one night, then replace me the next! But I should have known better, should have listened to my gut when it had screamed at me to keep Shane Stevenson at a distance all those months ago.

  As the elevator came to a stop in the lobby, I scrubbed my hand over my face to get rid of my tears, but more fell. As the doors opened, I moved to get off only to find my way blocked by the man trying to get on…

  “Hey, baby…”

  I couldn’t stop myself. Didn’t even have the sense of mind to even try to withstand the urge as I lifted my hand and smacked him across his handsome face.

  “Bastard!” I screamed at him. “You didn’t have the guts to tell me you replaced me. Couldn’t have taken two minutes out of your busy life to let me know that you’ve moved some slut into your apartment. I should have known better…”

  Strong arms wrapped around me, trapping my arms against my sides. Shane’s face was a mask of rage as he glared down at me. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he exploded.

  “You wouldn’t even answer the phone while I was gone. I should have known something was up then.”

  “I didn’t answer the phone because I was busy!” he yelled in my face, his eyes wild as they searched mine. “I had family problems to deal with, dammit.”

  “I spoke to Emmie yesterday, Shane. There hasn’t been anything wrong with anyone in your family.” I tried to pull free from him, determined to leave and never look back. I had been such an idiot to think that things could work with this man.

  “Fuck this!” He pushed me back into the elevator and punched the button for his floor. “I can’t talk to you in the lobby with you screaming at me, Harper.”

  I struggled to get free. There was no way I wanted to go back into his apartment and face his new fuck buddy. I fought against his hold, my hair smacking him across the face repeatedly as the elevator rose. “Harper, stop it. You’re going to hurt yourself, baby.”

  “Let go of me!” I cried, tears of frustration and humiliation now pouring down my face. “I hate you!”

  Even through my struggle, I felt him tense at my words. As soon as the elevator opened on his floor, he tossed me over his shoulder and lifted my overnight bag. He stomped down the corridor and pounded on the door to his apartment when he couldn’t pull his key from his jeans pocket without dropping me.

  Moments later, the girl from the bathroom opened the door
in a towel. I glared at her over Shane’s shoulder as he walked into the apartment. “Dammit, Nat!” he exclaimed. “No wonder she’s so mad! You can’t go around like that.”

  “I was in the shower!” Nat defended. “She just walked in and then ran off before I could even say a word. This isn’t my fault!”

  “Put me down!” I beat my fists against Shane’s back hard enough that I felt him grunt in discomfort. “Put me down now!”

  He ignored me as he continued through the apartment and into his bedroom. The door slammed behind us, and he paused only long enough to lock the door before dropping me on the bed. I bounced twice before I landed on my back, my hair in my face.

  I pushed my hair out of my face to find Shane glaring down at me like I was the one in the wrong. “You have absolutely no trust in me do you?” he demanded.

  “After the last few days, the answer would be a definite no.” I had trusted him wholeheartedly until he had given me a reason not to.

  “Natalie isn’t who you think she is.” He started pacing, shooting me dirty looks each time he passed me. “If you had given me two minutes to explain things to you instead of tearing into me like a wild cat, I would have told you that Natalie is my sister.”

  I almost snorted in disbelief until I remembered him telling once that he had a half-sister and her name was Natalie. “You said you didn’t have anything to do with your sister.”

  Shane continued to pace. “I never have before. Her mother refused to let Nat or my dad have anything to do with Drake and me when she married him. She hated the thought of Dad having had another family before her. It wasn’t until after my mother died that Dad put his foot down and tried to reconnect with us. But by then Drake and I didn’t want to play happy family with a guy that hadn’t tried to be there for us when we had needed him the most.”

  I straightened up on the bed, moving so my feet were hanging off the side. Just because the girl I thought had replaced me turned out to be his sister did not mean that I was less angry. “And you couldn’t take five minutes to answer the phone and tell me that your sister was staying with you? Or even text me with that news?”

  “I’ve been searching the city for my sister, Harper. I’ve had to deal with cops and a stepmother that claimed I kidnapped her. If Natalie hadn’t shown up to warn me, then it’s hard to tell where I would be right now!”

  “You had to look for Natalie?”

  “No, I had to look for Jenna.” He raked his hands through his hair, going back to pacing after only a small pause.

  “Who’s Jenna?”

  “She’s my twelve year old sister.” Shane grimaced. “I didn’t even know she existed. But she knew about me and Drake. She’s been watching Drake on America’s Rocker, and when her mother pissed her off she ran off to find us. So Stella called the New York cops and they turned up on my door step twenty minutes after Natalie did.”

  It was a lot to take in, but slowly it all registered. Shane had almost been arrested. If Natalie hadn’t been there to explain that he hadn’t taken Jenna—that she was still missing—then the cops probably would have taken him in. He had spent that night and all of yesterday looking for Jenna around New York with the cops and Natalie.

  Jenna had been found on the subway late the night before. The girl was now on her way back home, but Natalie hadn’t wanted to go. She was going to stay in New York with her brother for a while. Since she was eighteen she could do whatever she pleased, even if her mother had thrown a fit about her oldest daughter’s decision.

  My chest stopped hurting, but my gut twisted when I realized how big of a mistake I had made. I had accused Shane of something horrible, had hit him, and then to top it off…I had told him I hated him!

  Shane

  I would admit that not calling Harper had been a mistake. Finding Natalie in my apartment the way she had probably was the nail in the coffin. But I had thought that Harper trusted me more than that. I’d been so caught up in everything else going on with us that I only assumed that she had complete faith in my feelings for her.

  I had never been more wrong in my life.

  She hadn’t trusted me at all. Harper didn’t have a shred of faith in me. That knowledge hurt worse than anything ever had before.

  After telling her about how crazy the last few days had been for me, she just sat there with her head bowed, and I continued to pace. I wanted to go running, needed the burn of a long hard run to clear my head and ease some of the pain that clenched my heart. Instead, I just watched the woman that owned me, body and soul, tear me apart with her continued silence.

  “I’m sorry I hit you,” she whispered so softly that I nearly missed it.

  I stopped mid-step and turned to face her fully. “Why couldn’t you have given me two minutes, Harper?”

  A shaky sigh escaped her, and she scrubbed a hand over her still damp face. “Because I was sure that you had tossed me aside. That you didn’t want me anymore. One look at Natalie getting in the shower, and I knew that you finally opened your eyes and saw the truth.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m not beautiful enough to be with you.”

  Her words were like a stab to the heart, and I fell to my knees in front of her. This time the pain was more intense, more breath-stealing. Because I realized that Harper probably did have some faith in me, but she had absolutely none in herself. I had thought I had set her fears to rest and was sure that I had given her back her self-worth that her mother and stepsister had stolen from her.

  And maybe I had for the most part. But there was still a little piece that would always question her hold over me. “What can I do to make you see what I see, Harper? How can I prove to you that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen?”

  She bit her trembling lip, and I was gutted as a few tears fell down her pale cheeks. “When I’m with you I feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. When you hold me I feel sexy and loved… And I really did trust you, Shane. I do trust you. But… I don’t… I’m scared that you’ll open your eyes one day and wonder why you are with me. I’m terrified that someone with real beauty will catch your eye and…”

  My hand covering her mouth stopped the words that were like poison arrows to my heart. “That’s never going to happen. There isn’t any way that anyone, beautiful or not, will ever be able to catch my eye. Simply because I can’t look at another woman. All I see is you, Harper. All I want and will ever want is you. And I will never—never, do you hear me?—wonder why I’m with you because I already know the answer.”

  I pulled her down onto the carpeted floor in front of me. “I’m with you because there is no one in the world like you. No other girl could ever hold my attention the way you do. You are so smart and so fun to be with. You are quiet and feisty all at the same time, which is completely adorable and incredibly hot. And your beauty, Harper, it goes soul deep.”

  I cupped her face, wiping away falling tears as they landed on her cheeks with my thumbs. “Maybe one day you will see all of those things. But until you do, I’ll just have to remind you every day. I will have to make sure that you are always in my arms so you never doubt again for even a minute that you are sexy and loved, and completely—irrevocably—mine.”

  A sob escaped her and she threw her arms around my neck. Her lips tasted of her tears as she sought my mouth in a kiss that was healing for both of us. “Don’t cry, beautiful. It kills me to hear those little sobs,” I whispered when I pulled back a little.

  “I’m sorry!” She buried her tear soaked face in my shirt. “So, so sorry. I love you. I love you, Shane.”

  I let out a long, relieved sigh. “When you said you hated me…” I broke off, my throat choking with tears. Those three words were still echoing through my head, making my gut twist in pain.

  “I didn’t mean it. I was just so upset.” Tear dampened lips kissed over my face. “I could never hate you, even if I really wanted to. Why do you think it hurt so much for me to come home to thi
s? It was ripping me apart, and I attacked before you could defend yourself.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I know. It still hurt though, baby. Thinking that I was about to lose you, that ripped me apart.”

  Tears poured from her eyes faster. “Can you forgive me?”

  “I already have.”

  Harper

  I woke with a headache, but Shane’s comforting arms were wrapped around me from behind. We had spent the entire night just lying in his bed, holding onto each other and talking. We had fallen asleep in each other’s arms in the early hours of the morning, and I had rested peacefully for the first time in days.

  Shane groaned in his sleep and then blinked his eyes open when he felt me moving. His eyes were bloodshot, his face still a little pale, and I felt guilt eat at me once more for putting him through the disaster of yesterday. With a sad smile, I brushed a tender kiss over his lips. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, beautiful.”

  “Listen… I have to talk to you about something.” It was something that should have been discussed the night before, while we were still pouring our very heart and soul out, but I hadn’t wanted to argue again.

  His eyes narrowed. “What now?”

  “I know that you got me the job with Rock America. I know that you had Emmie take a look at my portfolio and ask to send work my way.” At the time my boss had let those little facts slip out, I’d still been upset because Shane hadn’t called me back while I was in Miami. I was livid and it had been one of the reasons I called Emmie.

  Shane grimaced. “I just asked her to make a few phone calls. To ask them to look over your work and see if they could possibly be interested. That’s all, Harper. The fact that they ended up giving you a full-time position is all on you. You showed them how talented you are.”