She shrugged a shoulder and tried to tamp down the stupid happiness his words brought to life in her. “Maybe. But I know what this is. Don’t worry that I want more than this. I’m not . . . I’m not trying to get more from you, okay, Micah? I just want what we’ve always had. That’s all. Can’t we get back to that?”
“Yes. Of course we can.”
She snuggled back against him with a sigh.
“So you’re not going to break up with me?” he asked, the words tipped with teasing.
“Shut up.”
He laughed, his humor rumbling through her, and it was all she wanted. This closeness. This love, even if it wasn’t love.
“I’ve got an idea. Want to go over some plans with me?”
“Really?” She grinned as the words sank in. “We haven’t done that in months.”
“I know. Come on. I’ve got work spread all over the table. Tell me what you think.”
As giddy as if he’d offered to sail away with her on a private yacht, Veronica jumped up and grabbed his hand to tug him to the dining room table. As promised, the metal-framed mahogany slab was covered with files. She clasped her hands together with ridiculous delight. “What are you working on?”
“Well, let’s see . . .” He grabbed the closest file and opened his laptop. “This place is way down near Castle Rock. I love the natural rock formations in the yard. I’m trying to incorporate them . . .”
A monitor that hung on the dining room wall flashed to life. The plot of land was mostly sagebrush and tufts of tall grasses, but red boulders thrust up in places in front of a four-foot-tall cliff of rock. “My plans are almost done.”
A new image bloomed to life on the screen, this one a stylized drawing of the same plot of land with rock trails and strategic lighting framing an outdoor kitchen in the foreground of the picture.
“Wow,” she breathed. “It’s perfect. They must love it.”
“They’re a little persnickety, but I think we’re working it out. They finally okayed the order of the stove and sink and the pizza oven. We picked out all the stone. But here’s the question. What do you think of the water feature?”
Another picture appeared of a tiny stream cascading over rocks to a pond below. It was pretty, but a bit more refined than she would have chosen.
She glanced at Micah’s face, but he only watched her carefully. “Where is it?” she asked.
“Here.” He zoomed out to show the narrow waterfall next to a stone patio seating area.
Veronica tilted her head. “You know what? I thought it was a little boring, but I think the placement is nice. It would be really peaceful on a summer night.”
Micah smiled. “I think it’s boring too. But they think it will be peaceful on a summer night.”
She laughed. “Well, the customer is always right. Maybe you could liven it up with some strobe lights or something.”
“You’re awful,” he scolded.
“I know.”
Laughing, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly. Slowly. She eased back a little and looked into his beautiful hazel eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been so erratic, Micah. I’m feeling a little crazy lately. Forgive me?”
“I’ll forgive you anything,” he murmured. “Forgive me for letting you down?”
“Yes. Of course. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I did. I got distracted and I hurt you.”
They kissed again, but her phone buzzed against her thigh and broke them apart. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “Let me see if it’s Syd.”
“No problem.”
He closed the file as she dug the phone from her pocket. When she saw the text, she groaned. “It’s Johnny. He’s going to Trey’s place for lunch. Why is he hanging out with that asshole all the time?”
Micah raised both eyebrows. “No idea. As long as he leaves me out of it. I hate that dumbass.”
“Do you think . . . ?” She frowned and let the words fade away as she realized Micah might not know about Johnny’s history with Trey. Micah had been living in California when all that had gone down.
“Think what?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly.
“Come on, V. This isn’t about the Holcomb boy again, is it?”
“No!” She thought of Kittredge again, but she flashed a smile. “No, of course not.”
“You can’t keep dwelling on that.”
“Easy for you to say. You didn’t have to talk to the police again this morning.”
“So . . . what? You think Johnny and Trey were involved in a kidnapping?”
No. No, of course not. She shook her head. “Johnny was with me. And Trey is just . . .”
Micah raised an eyebrow. “An idiot?”
Veronica couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes. That. No, it’s not really that. But did Johnny tell you what happened with Trey a few years ago?”
His brow lowered and he went quiet, studying Veronica’s face for a moment. “You’re talking about the steroids?”
She slumped a little with relief that it wasn’t her secret alone. “Yes. We had a deal after that. Trey and his boys weren’t allowed in our house, and for a while Johnny avoided them entirely. Now they’re everywhere. I guess I’ll have to put my foot down and be the bitch again.”
“They’re trying to get a piece of Johnny’s fame. That’s all. Bugs attracted to light.”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“But you know what the good news is, don’t you?” His eyes sparkled at her, melting her heart.
“What?”
“You have a couple of free hours now. And here you are.”
Now more than her heart was melting. She was a puddle of desire with just one mischievous tilt of his lips. And he knew it. He tugged her toward him and she let her body fall into his. His hands slid up and under her shirt, to spread over her back and up her spine.
“God,” she groaned. “Micah. I can’t.”
“Oh, I bet you can.”
A moaning laugh escaped her throat as she tipped her head back. “I have to pick up Sydney at my sister’s. I can’t stay.”
“But you don’t have to leave right this second?” he murmured against her neck.
“No,” she breathed. “But soon.”
“Good.” He unfastened her bra.
“Your bed,” she whispered. “I want to be in your bed.”
“Anywhere you want, V.”
They tumbled into sheets that smelled of him. There was no perfume here. No scent of another woman. Tears burned behind her closed eyelids even as she smiled into the crisp fabric of his shirt. Everything was fine. In fact, everything was good.
She stripped him naked and crawled down his body to take him into her mouth. He arched desperately toward her, and she took him with a deep, starving need that never seemed to fade no matter how she tried to slake it.
This was all she wanted. The taste of him. His rough lust. The guttural sound of her name in his mouth. His hands shaking against her hair. This was who she was. Who she wanted to be. His woman. His sin. His filthy, dirty secret.
How could this be more fulfilling than family, career, community? She was ashamed to even consider it. But the shame felt good too. She glided up his body and mounted him, and she let him fill her up with lovely, pulsing shame.
Afterward the bed smelled like them instead of him. Veronica hadn’t felt this peaceful in days.
Micah turned toward her. He stroked strands of stray, damp hair from her forehead and watched her eyes for something she’d probably rather hide from him. “I love you, V.”
Her heart froze. It stopped completely. Then it panicked and restarted itself with a jolt. He’d never said those words before. Not once.
“Micah . . .”
“I’m not good at this kind of thing. I’m not a family man. I wouldn’t know how to be a husband. But I do know that I love you, for what that’s worth.”
A warning. A caution. But a gift all the same. Something she’
d never expected even though her stupid heart had wished for it incessantly.
He loved her. And she’d loved him all this time despite her denials, hadn’t she?
“I love you too,” she said on a breathy rasp that barely reached her own ears. “I love you, Micah.”
His hand framed her jaw. “Look at you,” he murmured, and she wondered what he saw in her face. The stupid wonder of a child? The soft glow of unfettered need? Whatever it was, he whispered with his mouth against hers as if she might break under his touch.
“I love you,” she said again, because now she could never stop.
CHAPTER 16
“I’m so sorry I’m late!”
Fitz and Trish barely glanced up from the sprawling board game they were playing with Sydney at the kitchen table.
“No problem,” Fitz called. “Syd still needs a few more minutes to finish kicking her aunties’ butts.”
Sydney’s giggle was only slightly maniacal in response. There were no video game systems at her aunts’ house, so Sydney poured all her energy into games of elaborate strategy with weirdly colored tiles and names Veronica had never heard of.
“We haven’t even had lunch yet,” Trish said. “Do you have time to hang out?”
“Absolutely,” Veronica drawled. She dropped onto the couch with a contented sigh. This was turning out to be the perfect day, which was quite an amazing coup, considering it had started with a police interview.
She kicked off her shoes and stretched into a sultry pose on the cushions. She’d showered at Micah’s house, but he’d helped with the washing, which was why she was thirty minutes late despite her mad race down the freeway.
My God. He’d actually said it. He loved her.
It changed nothing, really. She still couldn’t put Sydney through a divorce, and Micah still wasn’t interested in being a husband and stepfather. But it changed everything too.
If he loved her, he wasn’t going anywhere. Not for a while, at least. She could relax and enjoy it again. Stop freaking out at every whisper of a perceived slight. She could just be his lover and stop worrying about all the rest. And that was all she wanted. She swore that was all she wanted.
Sighing, she let her head fall back into the cushions and smiled to herself.
“Hey.”
Veronica felt a nudge and jerked awake, her wild eyes scanning the room around her before she registered that she was at her sister’s. “What?”
“You fell asleep,” Trish said as she held out a coffee cup. “Long week?”
“Shit, you have no idea.”
Trish laughed and sank onto the other end of the couch. “Fatima and Sydney are making lunch.”
“You’re both so good to her. Thank you.” She sipped from her coffee, then groaned with pleasure. “So good.”
“Sydney’s the best. So smart. And we can’t seem to pull the trigger on having our own. It just feels like . . . I don’t know. It feels like I already have a hundred and fifty kids to worry about.”
“I know. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“Mom, though . . . I swear to God, Veronica, I think she imagined that Fatima and I would have twice as many kids because we have two wombs.”
“It’s the clear benefit of having a lesbian daughter, Trish. Extra incubation space.”
They giggled madly like they used to do when they were girls huddled in a tent on a backyard adventure. Trish put her arm around Veronica’s shoulders and she snuggled close, warmed by her sister’s embrace and the burn of the coffee and the deep, dark hope that Micah had sparked inside her.
“Seriously, though,” she said, “I don’t know how you do it. All that energy you put into your students. Where do you find it? I can barely dredge up enough for one, and she’s such an easy kid.”
“They give it back in spades,” Trish said.
Veronica shook her head. She’d never understand that. But that was why Trish was the teacher.
“Not that it isn’t heartbreaking sometimes,” her sister added softly.
“I know.” Veronica tucked her hand into Trish’s and squeezed. Last year Fitz had lost a student to leukemia, and it had broken both women’s hearts. This year one of Trish’s favorite kids had been deported. That had brought fury as well as pain.
Her sister was an idealist. Which was why Veronica could never, ever confide in her about her own problems. Trish wouldn’t understand the affair. Oh, she would forgive it. She’d forgiven their father, after all. Her sister’s idealism had kept her blind to all the hints that their dad had been cheating all their lives, but it also meant she wouldn’t accept what Veronica was doing now. If she knew, she’d tell Veronica to end it or else, and that was the last thing she intended to do.
“How’s Johnny?” Trish asked, as if she’d sensed a disturbance in the marital force.
“Good, I think. I’m hoping this morning will be his last interview. I was getting really freaked out by how the police were acting, but now that I know there was a crime committed, it all makes sense.”
“What else have you heard?”
“Nothing, really. The same things you have. Apparently the kidnapper promised to release the boy near a busy trail, and Johnny was the lucky hero. Anyone could have found him that day.”
“Wow.”
“But it could have gone really wrong. Johnny said Tanner was scared and hiding in a ravine. I’m not sure if he would have found help without Old Man going crazy. But half the hikers in Denver have dogs. Another dog would have come by, right?”
“Don’t think about that. He made it home safe and sound. The end.”
Veronica shivered despite her cozy warmth. “Who would do that to a little boy? He’s just a baby. Actually, it was worse than taking a baby, because he was old enough to be scared. Who would even think of doing that?”
“Someone desperate,” Trish murmured. “Or out for revenge.”
“Revenge. I didn’t think of that. It was probably a disgruntled employee.”
“Right. Someone who resents the Holcombs’ money and power.”
Veronica sighed. “I wonder if the police have any leads.”
“With all the companies Hank Holcomb and his sons have started or taken over or partnered up with, my guess is the police have too many leads. Last year that little town near the ranch filed a water rights lawsuit against them, remember?”
“God. I just hope our part of this adventure is over. It must be, right?”
Trish kissed the top of her head. “I imagine they now have bigger things to worry about than the man who saved Tanner’s life.”
Determined to be positive on this glorious day, Veronica nodded and relaxed into her sister’s side. “I think you’re right. Our part is over and that little boy is okay, and that’s all I need to know.”
“And Fatima is making saffron rice.”
“Oh my God, I thought it smelled delicious in here. This is genuinely the best day of my life.”
Her sister laughed. “You must be starving.”
“I am,” she answered sheepishly, a blush heating her face. She’d forgotten that no one else knew about the best part of this perfect day and she should tone down her glow before someone noticed.
But she couldn’t stifle it completely, and she didn’t want to. Sydney raced into the room and jumped onto the last empty seat on the couch before snuggling her way in between her mom and aunt.
“Can we go see Grandpa today?” she asked.
Veronica’s languid muscles cooled to solid rock, and Sydney noticed.
“Mom, come on. Pleeeeeease?”
Excuses traced across her mind like a breaking news story—all the justifications she normally used to get out of taking Sydney to her father’s apartment—but those excuses were framed to stall a ten-year-old. They wouldn’t stand up to her sister’s adult credulity.
Damn it. “We’ll see,” she finally tried.
Sydney wasn’t having it. “You say that all the time. I haven’t seen G
randpa in a month. It’s not fair, Mom.”
It wasn’t fair. Sydney was right and didn’t deserve the irritation and anger gnawing at Veronica’s tight neck. She couldn’t put off this next visit forever, no matter how much she wanted to.
“I don’t even know if he’s in town . . . ,” she stalled.
“He is! Aunt Fitz saw him last night!”
Trish cleared her throat. “She dropped off a novel she thought he’d like.”
“Since when does Dad read fiction?” Veronica snapped.
“Since he got too much time alone, I guess.” She shot Veronica a narrow look, saying with her eyes what she’d said with words plenty of times before. He lost his marriage. He’s paid for what he did. Mom is happy. You’re just punishing Sydney now.
“Mom,” Sydney whined, “Grandpa is lonely.”
“Fine,” she finally bit out. “We’ll stop by after lunch.”
Sydney leapt to her feet. “Yay! I just need to get the card I made from home, okay? Can we stop and get it?” Done with her mother, she raced toward the kitchen with her arms raised in triumph. “We’re going to see Grandpa!”
Veronica’s perfect day was perfectly ruined.
No. No, that was pure melodrama. Nothing was ruined. Sydney was so happy, and seeing her dad would be fine, and Veronica still felt great.
And Micah loved her. She’d wear that knowledge like warm and fuzzy armor and nothing could hurt her. Not today. Not even seeing her father.
CHAPTER 17
It wasn’t until she was watching her garage door rise that Veronica remembered the phone.
Sydney was singing along to some K-pop song, using made-up words, Veronica assumed, as she didn’t speak Korean. Veronica waited impatiently for the clunky old garage door to stutter its way up. When its slow crawl revealed the blank space where Johnny’s truck should be, she felt a surge of triumph she couldn’t place for a moment. Relief that he wasn’t home yet. Excitement that she could . . . what?
Then she remembered. The phone. The phone he couldn’t possibly have taken to the police station this morning. He wouldn’t have risked it. What if the police found the phone and got suspicious? He could tell them it was just for an affair, but would they believe it?
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