He was suddenly waving at someone across the way. “You sweet folks excuse me a moment, will you? I see an old friend!” And The Count was off in a cape-flapping flourish.
“What a wonderful old man,” from a dreamy Mitzi.
“Isn’t he sweet?” from Clancy, following Mitzi’s gaze as the tall Count was swallowed by the crowd. “Don’t you think he’s sweet, Ed?”
“Saccharine as my Aunt Tilly’s fruitcake.”
I was looking balefully in the other direction at the elevator area. The steel doors were sliding open…
“Shit!”
Clancy spun quickly. “What! Oh, God…”
“What, what?” from Mitzi on the floor, “I can’t see!”
“They just got off the elevator,” I murmured low.
“Who?”
I looked down at the dog. “Jesus, are you that far gone? Simon and Garfunkel, who do you think? Time to come back to reality, Miss Lycan!”
“What do we do?” from an anxious Clancy. “Circle back to the elevators or continue hiding here in plain sight?” She grimaced, teeth clenched. “I’ve just about had it with this fang-banging dragon lady!”
I looked at her. “Don’t,” I said.
“What?”
“Don’t get angry. Don’t get cocky. Pete may be a buffoon but he’s still extremely dangerous. And Alicia is one of the most powerful creatures ever to walk the Earth.”
Clancy didn’t look cowed. “I’m tired of that snotty bitch showing up to ruin my day.”
I took hold of her shoulder. Hard. “Well, don’t be! Don’t be sick or angry or anything but on high alert! This isn’t a game, Clancy, especially not to Alicia. She’s got Ivan breathing down her lovely neck now and she’s already blown it twice in as many days! If she lets us slip through her claws again it could mean the end of her!”
“We can only hope!”
I pulled her closer. “She’ll die trying to killing us before she lets Ivan do the same to her! Do you understand what I’m saying, Clancy!”
“I understand!” Clancy shrugged angrily out of my grip. “So what’s the plan?”
“I can’t believe this!” Mitzi was saying. “I didn’t catch a whiff of her!”
“Too busy partying with Count Chocula,” I said.
She shook her head. “It wasn’t that. It’s her. She’s…masking her smell somehow. My God…what other powers does she have we don’t know about?”
I craned to the elevator. The doors were closed again, the area before it empty.
“Maybe they left,” Clancy said without conviction, “got spooked by the crowd.”
“Alicia doesn’t spook,” Mitzi said, nose testing the air. “She’s up here with us. That idiot Pete, too.”
“Well which is it?” from an impatient Clancy, “run or stay?”
“I think we should split-up,” I told them.
Clancy turned to me, surprised. “I don’t like it! I’m for sticking together! Three of us have a better chance against two of them! We defeated them in the suite, didn’t we?”
“If we’d defeated them,” Mitzi reminded her, “we wouldn’t be up here on the roof.”
I thought about it, shook my head. “No. We’d be much more easily spotted all together. Our advantage is in our numbers, but for getting out, not attacking. If we go our separate ways it’s the best chance at least one of us will reach the elevators.”
Clancy started to object but Mitzi cut her off. “He’s right, Clancy. If we die, the last hope for humanity may die with us. The entire planet will be left in peril. One of us has got to survive, live another day and find a way to fight them.”
We all stood silent for a moment.
“You two take the outer walls of the convention,” Mitzi continue. “I’m the lowest to the ground, the hardest to see. I’ll take a direct route down the middle aisle of the convention. Whoever runs into either or both of them, try to stall them as long as possible, give the others a better chance. Agreed?”
I turned to Clancy.
“I will not kiss you good-bye again,” she said with bravado, “I will not do it! We’ll meet in the parking garage! All of us!” And with that, she turned on her heel and was lost in the dark sea of costumes.
I looked down at Mitzi. “Good luck, then.”
“Chin up, Sport,” and she vanished into the throng.
I hurried quickly through the crowd and started down the south side of the roof, moving fast, but not too fast, still trying to blend. I was already beginning to regret letting Clancy out of my sight. I’d had her back for a moment—I should never have let her go again.
Maybe thirty feet in front of the elevator doors, I came around a crowd of people and Alicia stepped calmly in front of me from one of the side aisles. Piggy Pete was right behind her.
I wasn’t at all doubtful Alicia knew exactly who I was under the bell ringer make-up.
“Nice hump,” she smiled incisors, “becomes you, Edward.”
I dropped the half-bent Quasimodo act and stood straight. I sighed and began peeling the wart putty from my face. “What took you so long?”
Always the gracious hostess, Alicia allowed me a small smile of admiration. “The ever inventive Mr. Magee. I’d no idea you were such a fan! Tell me, whom do you favor among the fangers, Twilight or True Blood?”
“True Blood, actually. Love that blonde lead. What’s her name again?”
“Anna Panquin!” Pete offered cheerfully.
I nodded. “Very good, Pete. I’ll bet you even know the first season budget.”
“Yeah,” he enthused, “it was—“
“Shut-up, Pete!” from Alicia, face gone granite.
“What’s the matter, dragon lady,” I chimed, unbuckling my hump, “not into vampire trivia? Under the circumstances, I’d have thought—“
“Think about this, Mr. Magee. Under the circumstances, I might be willing to offer you amnesty. You need only tell me where she is.”
“Where who is?”
Alicia sighed. Shook her head. “Pete--?”
Pete stepped forward, fangs lowering another quarter-inch.
“What’s so special about Clancy?” I asked Alicia, “You can easily hire another assistant what with your many connections. Oh. That’s right. You want her dead.”
“I want her back,” Alicia hissed. “Now, where is she, please?”
I made a befuddled face. “You don’t want her dead? But…she knows your whole operation...”
“Precisely why she’s so valuable to me. Maybe even irreplaceable. I put months of training into that woman! Months I can’t get easily back.”
I watched her a moment. Watched her eyes. Gave her back a smile of my own. “It isn’t just that, is it, Alicia dear? You want her. Because she’s a virgin…”
Alicia scoffed. “Hardly.”
“You know what I mean. Ole Teddy may have had a quick taste of our lovely Clancy but you want to be the one to turn her. Why?”
She glared at me, said nothing.
My smile broadened. “Shit. You’re in love with her.”
Alicia bore her fangs. Then put them away, smiling. “Perhaps. Aren’t you?”
I nodded. “Enough to make sure you don’t get her again.”
“Very gallant, Mr. Magee. But that may be good trick given the situation. Now, please quit stalling. Where are you hiding her?”
I threw my bell ringer costume on a nearby table. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?”
She shrugged. “Who? The dog?”
“How do you know your ex-companion and my current namesake won’t come streaking out of nowhere as usual?”
Her smile was chilling this time. “Pete?”
Pete chuckled. “Little vampire poodle ain’t no more!”
I turned to him.
He nodded piggy confirmation. “Caught her about a hundred feet from here, streaking down the middle aisle for the elevators! Left her over there somewhere…big fat stake through her furry little heart!”
A roc
k formed in my stomach. “For real? Mitzi is dead?”
“As a doornail!” the pig grinned.
“My last offer.” from Alicia, “We know she didn’t get on the elevators. Tell us where Miss Cummings is now and you’re free to go.”
I nodded. “Free for how long?”
“You have my word.”
I snorted a laugh. “As a gentlewoman vampire?”
Alicia nodded disappointment, moved back out of the way. “Have it your way, then. Pete--?”
“Alicia Montesquieu! As I live and breathe!”
We all turned as The Count came sweeping up, clasping his hands together joyously.
“My dear young woman! However have you been?”
Alicia frowned stiffly. “Excuse me--?”
The Count spotted me. “Ah! I see you’ve met my good friend Edward! Well, isn’t this charming! And after all these years!” He glanced at Pete, looked back expectantly to Alicia for introductions.
“I’m sorry,” she said levelly, “do I know you?”
The Count looked aghast, clutched at his heart theatrically. “My child, you wound me! Don’t you remember? Oh, it’s been ages! Hungary, wasn’t it? Oh, dear me, or was it Afghanistan? My memory’s like a sieve these days!”
Alicia let herself be pulled into a bear hug. There wasn’t much else she could do.
The hugely grinning Count held her back by the shoulders. “And still as ravishing as ever! My dear, you are truly ageless!”
“I don’t—“
The Count bowed to Pete, grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously--so vigorous I heard Pete’s teeth click. “And you must be Pete! Heard so much about you, sir! A pleasure, truly!”
Pete stood there vibrating under the pumping hand. “Uh…”
“Oh, just call me The Count! Everyone else does!”
“Excuse me—“
The Count turned beaming to Alicia--in time to see the back of her hand smash into his face and send him flying backward twenty feet down the aisle.
The convention floor went silent. Everyone turned to look.
The Count lay still, obviously dead; the blow would have killed a man three times his willowy size. Alicia dusted her hands and turned back to me. “One more time now, Mr. Magee. Where is Miss Cummings?”
I looked past her at The Count sprawled on the floor, a few tentative conventioneers creeping toward him. I turned back to Alicia.
“Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind knowing myself.”
Alicia nodded. “Pete--?”
I turned as Pete leapt at my throat.
He was maybe half an inch from my neck when he stopped suddenly in mid-air… and seemed to hang there a moment.
Then he kind of settled backward slowly with a stupid look, legs vibrating strangely. He looked down at himself. I heard a small gasp of surprise from Alicia. All of the feathers and maybe two inches of an arrow’s shaft protruded stiffly from Pete’s chest.
“Hey…” he said, looking up at Alicia as if for confirmation, and fell dead on his face.
Alicia and I turned together.
Clancy was standing three aisles down, already nocking another arrow into her stolen Hugh Jackman crossbow.
Alicia remained perfectly calm, seemingly more interested in the weapon than its wielder. “Huh,” she said indifferently.
“Move the hell away from him,” Clancy called, sighting down the crossbow’s barrel.
“Clancy, I’d like to talk to you…”
“I won medals in archery competition,” Clancy warned her.
Alicia glanced over at Pete’s crumpled form, face in the floor, butt in the air. “I can see that, dear. But I’d still like a word with you, please.”
Clancy held the crossbow tight, like a lost friend. “In front of all these people, Alicia?”
“They won’t hear.”
“Really?”
Alicia raised both slender arms above her in a wide arcing motion. There may have been a swift tidal ripple sweeping the room like a heat wave, or maybe I just imagined it. But all the conventioneers turned abruptly away and went back to what they were doing.
“Impressive!” Clancy called down the aisle. And let go.
Alicia sighed impatience. Snatched the arrow mid-air inches from her chest, tossed it aside. Her expression was—for Alicia at least—nearly acquiescent. “I know what you must be thinking, Clancy. And I’m sorry about earlier--about the slap. I could have made it a lot harder, trust me. But the thing is, I like you.”
Clancy nocked another arrow. “I’m thrilled,” she said and fired.
Alicia caught the arrow (in her left hand this time), snapped it in two, tossed it aside. She turned to me with a laconic air. “Mr. Magee, will you please relay to this stubborn young woman what I just said to you?”
“I really don’t think she’s going to listen, my dear…” It was The Count. He was sweeping up behind us, glancing down at the crumpled Pete on the floor. “Oh, my,” then all smiles again, waving bright and encouragingly to Clancy down the way. “Cracking good shot, my child! Excellent form!”
He turned to Alicia inquiringly. “Has she had much practice, do you know?”
Alicia blinked patiently at me. “Who the hell is this guy?”
I shrugged. “Thought maybe you knew.”
She appraised The Count’s glorious costume curiously. “How is it you know my last name?”
The Count put arm around both our shoulders—to Alicia’s shock--pulled us close to him and, head back, addressed the stars above. “Oh, it’s a night of many revelations, dear Alicia! A night which shall burn forever in the annals of both the dead and the living!”
He looked quickly about at the oblivious conventioneers. “…pity no one will remember it!”
Alicia shoved indignantly from his embrace, dusting at her dress. Her eyes fell on his right cheek, amazed—like me—at the lack of bruising there, the lack of a broken cheek bone, for that matter.
Alicia pulled herself straight. “You say we’ve met before--?”
“I’m absolutely sure of it!” The Count chimed. “On the other hand, my memory isn’t what it used to be. I suppose it’s not impossible you could be a complete fake.”
“A what?”
“Lots of that going round these days. Look at this place, for instance!”
Alicia’s fangs gleamed, fists poked arrogantly on curvaceous hips. “I assure you—“
“Yes-yes, I’ve no doubt you do. It wasn’t a slur on your lovely figure, dear.” The Counted rubbed his long-nailed hands together deliciously, cast his eyes heavenward again. “Oh, grandiose night! Worthy of Chernabog himself!” He threw up both arms in a grand, theatrical gesture, and in sonorous tones that rang the convention rooftop announced: “It is said on clear nights beneath the cold light of the moon, howl the dog and the wolf; and creeping things crawl out of the slime. It is then the ghouls feast in all their radiance!”
“Is that Shakespeare?” I said.
“Ed Wood Jr.,” The Count smiled, “Orgy of the Dead. Wonderfully inept filmmaking! Imminently disposable! You must have seen it!”
“Believe I missed that one.”
“Really!” The Count was aghast. “Well, I have a copy I’d be happy to lend you! Mind you, I want it back, now!”
“I’ve had enough of this crap!” Alicia hissed.
The Count whirled on her, and I saw his eyes flash anger for the first time. “Crap, madam? You could learn a lot from the divine Mr. Wood! Particularly in the bra department!”
“What the hell’s going on?” Mitzi stood there gazing up curiously at us. There was one end of a large stake jutting from her chest.
“Mitzi!”
The Count gasped. “My poor thing! What’s this blackguard done to you!” giving the crumpled Pete a disgusted little kick.
“Caught me in mid-aisle,” Mitzi admitted with chagrin, “bastard staked me when I wasn’t looking. Not exactly cricket.”
I fell beside her. “But…you’re aliv
e!”
She glanced down at her chest. “Yes, well, it seems our Neolithic friend grabbed the nearest stake at hand—straight from one of the dealer’s tables. It’s plastic.”
Alicia rolled her eyes. “Idiot!”
“Does it hurt?” I asked Mitzi.
“Not so you’d notice. Be a pet, Eddie, and pull it out, huh?”
I took the head of the stake in my hands, began pulling slowly.
“Whoa! Okay, okay now it hurts! Definite excessive pain there!”
The Count bent down, urged my hands aside gently. “Here now, let us have a try…”
The stake came free without a squeak from Mitzi.
She batted her long lashes at him, licked his hand. “Sir, you have the bedside manner of an angel!”
“Well, hardly that!” The Count demurred.
“ENOUGH!” Alicia shouted, voice carrying the rooftop.
The Count frowned up at her. “We’re right here, my dear, you needn’t shout—“
“You’re all maniacs!” she screamed. “Get your hands off that diseased mutt and—“
She was cut off by the impact of an arrow in her left shoulder.
I really thought she was going to go apoplectic.
“You insufferable—“ and she yanked free the missile , whirled, lifted her arms high and brought them down sharply at Clancy. A blast of wind shot from black lacquered nails, slammed Miss Cummings like an invisible palm, knocked her ass-over-teakettle down the convention floor. She somersaulted and crashed hard into a table of plastic skulls. But not too hard—Alicia had clearly pulled her punch.
Mitzi growled deep in her quickly-mended chest and leapt.
Alicia countered with a snarl and sent the next gale-force blast at the three of us.
Mitzi was blown off her legs, the wall of wind searing my eyes, driving my hair and clothing back, lifting me from the floor—
--but only for a moment.
The Count raised a single sharp finger and the hurricane wind died instantly to a whimpering breeze.
“Yes, yes,” The Count admonished wearily, “the old wind trick. We’ve all seen it, dear, hardly original. TV’s done it to death.”
He folded his arms confidently. “I strongly recommend you dig a bit deeper into your arsenal, old girl. I believe the real storm is about to arrive!”
Eyes flaming, Alicia raised her hands on high to deliver a megaton of energy when she paused suddenly. Her expression shifted. Her own black mane was being bantered from another kind of wind—pushing at the backs of the rest of us.
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