by Marie Savage
I look in the mirror once I’m home, admiring my new do. My once very long hair is now shoulder length. It brings a more mature look about me. I needed this; I’m going to be a mommy soon. As I stare into the mirror, I wonder what Ben would think about my hair. What would Holly think? I then remember my promise to myself that I would call her and tell her the truth.
Besides, it will feel good to finally talk to my best friend like we used to before I went and messed things up. I still feel that sometimes she is mad at me about Ben and Tyler fighting at her wedding. I know she still blames me.
Instead of just dialing her, I quickly take a selfie of my new haircut, being careful to only show my face, and send it to her. Minutes later, my phone is ringing.
“Hello.”
“O-M-G, you cut your hair? It looks fabulous!”
“You really think so? I didn’t make it too short, did I?”
“No way. It’s perfect. That cut looks great on you.”
“Thank you.”
“So, how’ve you been?” she asks.
“Okay, but more importantly, how have you been?”
“Oh, you know, I’m hanging in there. Mike is working a lot and I’m about to have finals. With all that and checking on Mom, I’ve been busy.”
“How’s your mom?”
“Mom is Mom, more worried about everyone else than herself. She’s spending a lot of time with my sister Jane. She just had her baby right after you left.”
“Niece or nephew this time?” I ask, touching my stomach, preparing to tell her about my own baby news.
“Nephew this time. They named him Frank, after Daddy.” She pauses for a moment. “They’re calling him Frankie.”
“I bet your mom loved that.”
“She did. I’m glad she has this distraction. It keeps her from being lonely. Of course, with my family, that’s hard to do.”
“I have some news,” I interrupt.
“Let me guess … you finally talked to Ben?” Holly asks.
“No, not yet.”
“I don’t understand what you’re waiting for, Julie. Isn’t that the whole reason you left your home, left us?”
“Not the whole reason.”
“I still don’t get why you are choosing him over Tyler, but it’s your life. So, if that isn’t it, what’s the news? Let me guess again, you’re pregnant.” Holly starts laughing. We used to play this game with each other, ever since we started dating boys. Since she was dating Mike, for her it could have been a real concern, but for me, the high school virgin, it was just a joke. She has a weird sense of humor, but I love her.
I remain silent.
“Hello? Come on, that’s funny. Don’t tell me that your sense of humor has moved too?”
“Holly, I am pregnant.”
“See, that’s funny, right?”
“I’m serious.”
Holly’s laughter slowly stops, until I hear nothing but silence.
“Holly, you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m still here.”
“Did you hear me?”
“Yes, I heard you.”
“And?”
“And I’m hoping you are going to say psych! But I have a feeling you’re not.”
“Not this time, Holly. This time it’s true.”
“It’s why you really moved, isn’t it? It’s Ben’s baby. Am I right?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve known since the wedding, haven’t you? And now you decide to tell your so-called best friend.”
“Please don’t be mad, Holly. I had my reasons. I wanted to tell Ben first.”
“Well, did you?”
“No, not yet.”
“What are you going to do, Julie? Wait until he or she is off to college?”
“Holly,” I scold her.
“Hey, I have a right to be a little pissed here. So, who all knows?”
“Actually, it was your mom who suspected I was pregnant first. She gave me a home pregnancy test to take on your wedding day.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” She laughs. “You were smart to confide in her, that woman is legendary for keeping things to herself. It drives all of us girls nuts. Anyone else? Carl?”
“No, I haven’t told him yet either.” I hesitate, wondering if I should tell her who else knows.
“But you have told someone else, haven’t you? Someone besides my mom?”
“Tyler knows.”
“I fucking knew it. No wonder he was constantly by your side during Dad’s funeral. Why did you tell him? Why him before Ben?”
“Tyler accidently saw my prenatal vitamins. He guessed and I didn’t lie to him. He’s still my friend, even if we are no longer seeing each other.”
“Well, I guess congratulations are in order? Do you know if you’re having a boy or girl?”
“No, not yet. I have an appointment next week and then I will hopefully know. Holly, there’s one more thing … I’m having twins.”
“That’s it. Damn it, Julie, you need to come home, now.”
“Holly,” I protest.
“Damn it, I’m serious. You’re having babies, Julie! One baby is hard enough on your own, but two? We can’t take care of you all the way over there in Texas.”
“Holly, I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. I’m not alone. I have friends here and I will be telling Ben soon.”
“Carl is going to flip out. You’re like a daughter to him. He is going to try to convince you to come home, and for once, I’m going to be on his side and not yours. We want you home, Julie.”
“Holly, you’re not listening to me. I am home. This is my home now.”
“Let me guess, the reason you haven’t told Ben is because he is living with his ex-wife. Am I right?”
“Yes, did Mike tell you?”
"Yes, he told me what you said. He also said that Ben told him it’s not what you think.”
“Holly, what are you talking about?”
“I guess you’re not the only one with secrets. Ben dropped by the morning after you left from Dad’s funeral. He was looking for you.”
“What did he say, Holly?”
“He talked to Mike, but according to him, you are wrong if you think he is with his ex. He only moved her in because he had no other choice. Something about her being kicked out of her place.”
The realization hits me hard. I jumped to conclusions that day when I went to see him, but I had help coming to those conclusions. Renee was up to her games once again.
“Holly, I have to go. I will call you later. I still need to call Carl.”
“Okay, let me know how it goes. And I better be the first person you send ultrasound pictures to.”
“I promise you will be.”
After I get off the phone with Holly, I call Carl. Just like Holly, he is surprised by my news and hurt that it took so long for me to confide in him. He also tries to convince me to come back.
“Damn it, girl, you and that boy are the most stubborn two people I have ever met. You need to find him and talk to him, or I’m coming up there and doing it myself.”
“Carl, please. You’re right. I’m going to tell him, but it needs to be me. Even if he calls you, you have to let me tell him.”
“I’m not going to promise you that, Julie. You need to tell him soon, or I’m coming up there. I try not to interfere in your lives, but we are talking about these babies now. They deserve better than two pigheaded parents who won’t admit how they feel.”
“Okay, I get it. I’m going to tell him. My appointment is Monday. He will know by then.”
“I’m going to call you every day until you do.” Carl hangs up, and for the first time, I can feel his anger toward me.
“Well, that went well.” I look over at Bo, who is resting his head on his paws, staring at me. “One more call, boy, and then I will fix us dinner.”
I pull out the business card that Rose gave me this afternoon. Maybe I can get something scheduled for the babies’ room this week
end.
“Hello, this is Howell Construction, Bobby speaking. How can I help you?”
“Yes, I saw your business card and I was wondering if you do painting?”
“Yes, ma’am, we do.”
“I have a room needing painting and maybe some other projects that could be done.”
“Sounds good. I can send one of my guys over in the morning to take a look and give you an estimate.”
“That would be great.”
“Around ten o’clock?”
“Yes, that’s perfect.”
Chapter 9
Julie
How hard could painting be? I stand in front of the paint section—flat, latex, blah blah. I just want some friggin paint. Thank God for YouTube. The room I chose for the babies is painted an ugly brown color, so that definitely won’t work. Babies—I still can’t believe I’m having twins. I wonder how my mom felt when she found out she was having Jason and me.
I still need to find Ben and tell him. I wish I could just run into him again. This time, I won’t run away and hide. I just don’t want to go to his place and face Renee again. I promised Carl, though, and knowing him, he will keep his word and be down here if I don’t report to him soon that I have talked to Ben.
Earlier, the store clerk had helped me gather drop sheets, tape, rollers, brushes, and pans in my cart before showing me the paint department. There are so many choices of white that my mind is running around in circles. A little boy’s laugher distracts me, pulling my attention away from the paint samples to look down the aisle.
That’s when I see them. It’s Ben and Dustin, and thankfully, I don’t see Renee, at least not beside them. Ben is studying a pamphlet on a tool he is standing near, while Dustin sits patiently in the cart.
I know I just wished I could run into Ben, but I’m a mess wearing baggy overalls and no makeup. He can’t see me like this. I try to back up and leave the aisle unnoticed, but unfortunately, Dustin looks up and sees me, and repeats the words from our first meeting.
“Adon lady,” he says too loudly and points in my direction.
This causes Ben to look over and stare right at me. Oh God, it’s too late to run now.
“Julie?” he says, his eyes wide with shock.
I shyly walk toward them with no idea what to say to him. This is it. The time has come to face the music. I don’t think I have ever been more afraid in my life. “Hello.” I smile and greet him like our chance encounter is no big deal.
“Hello.” He smiles back at me. He still looks confused but he also seems happy to see me.
We both just stare at each other for a moment. He looks as handsome as ever, but his eyes look sad. Sad just like the day I first met him.
“I can’t believe it’s really you. What are you doing here?” he asks me.
“I live here,” I abruptly say, and then realize I will need to elaborate on that. “I mean, I don’t live here in this store, obviously.” I nervously laugh. “I mean I live here now. I live in Kerrville,” I start to ramble.
“You do?” he says, looking more confused as he eyes me up and down.
I feel self-conscious as he studies me. Can he tell I’m pregnant? I wonder.
“You cut your hair,” he finally says.
My hand automatically goes up to my hair as I totally forgot about my haircut. He loved my hair long, and it makes me wonder if he likes it or hates it. Right now, it’s hard to tell. “Yeah, I wanted a change. I’m probably a mess.” I look myself over, wanting to die that I am wearing this get up.
“No, you look fine. You look very pretty,” he adds.
“In this outfit?” I look at him questionably, but blush at his comment.
“You always did have a hard time taking compliments,” he says stoically as if he’s caught up in a memory.
“Thank you.” I smile as we stand there, just staring at each other, neither one of us knowing what we should do or say at this point it seems.
“Adon lady, Daddy,” Dustin chimes in, helping to break the silence.
“Adon?” Ben looks at his son strangely.
“I think he is trying to say Avon,” I quickly add, remembering what Renee told Dustin on the day I was over there. The day that Ben obviously knows nothing about. Am I about to be ratted out by a two-year-old?
“Dustin, this isn’t the Avon lady. This is Julie. Can you say hi to Julie?”
“Hi, Juey,” he says, shying away from me.
“Close enough, buddy.” Ben smiles.
“Hi, Dustin. Nice to finally meet you,” I say as I step closer.
Dustin reaches up, pulling Ben to him so he can hide his face.
“Sorry, he’s a little shy sometimes.” Ben apologizes for him.
“It’s fine. I was the same way when I was a kid.”
“Unfortunately, he watches a lot of TV when he’s with Renee. He must think you look like someone from a commercial.”
“Yeah, that must be it.” Well, that confirms my suspicions about Renee. She never told him I dropped by that day.
“Mike said you moved, he just didn’t say where. Why did you leave your home, Julie?”
“I wanted a change. When you brought me here a few months ago, I truly loved it here,” I say to him. “I bought a nice fixer-upper that I am currently remodeling.”
“So, you are about to do some painting, I see.” Ben smiles as he looks inside my cart.
“Yes, this is only the beginning. There is so much to do before …” I pause, realizing I’m about to spill the beans right here in the middle of the Lowes store.
“Before what?” Ben asks, catching my slip, as if he’s hanging on to every word I say.
“You know, before I’m satisfied on how it looks,” I quickly add. “He looks so much like you.” I look over at Dustin, hoping to change the subject fast. Dustin is still shying away from me, making me wonder what kind of wicked witch stories his mother may have told him about me.
“Mike told me you know about Renee and Dustin living with me. I want to explain.”
“You don’t need to. I understand.” I stop him as the picture is becoming clearer by the second. Especially after my little talk with Rose yesterday.
“So, you understand that it’s just for Dustin’s sake? I’m not getting back with Renee.”
“Yes, I know.”
“What about you? Did you move here by yourself?” he asks me.
I know right away what he is fishing for. I caught him staring at Tyler and me several times during Mr. Winston’s funeral. At the time, I wanted him to believe that Tyler and I were seeing each other to hurt him back, but now I’m ashamed for doing that, knowing what I know now.
“It’s just Bo and me.” I shrug.
“Are you still seeing him?” he asks, needing to hear the words from my lips. I can’t blame him for needing the confirmation.
“No, Ben. Tyler and I are over. We’re just friends,” I confirm to him. He smiles and I know right away he is happy to hear me say it. “What are you doing?” I look in his cart, hoping to change the subject.
“Getting some tools I need. I’m working construction at a side job for some extra cash. I have a job I’m going to at around ten o’clock tomorrow.”
Suddenly, I have the strangest feeling someone stuck their nose into my business. “Who do you work for?” I ask, even though I bet I can guess.
“Howell Construction, why?” he asks.
“Where are they sending you?” I continue to drill him.
He looks at me oddly before pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. “Stonybrook Lane,” he reads his note.
I start smiling, shaking my head.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
“Let me guess … 205 Stonybrook Lane, right?”
He looks at the paper again. “Yeah, that’s right. How did you know that?”
“That’s my house.” I smile. I’m going to kill Rose the next time I see her. She set this whole thing up.
“Really? Well,
how come you’re buying all of this?” He points to my cart again.
“I don’t know, I really want to help, I guess.”
“Well, we already have most of what you have in the cart. Why don’t you just go pick out the paint you want, and we’ll go from there.”
“Okay. Maybe you could help me decide which color to choose,” I add, while we stand in front of the paint chips. I hand him the color samples I was looking at.
“You want to go white?”
“Yes, but not white-white. Off-white, maybe.”
“Is it for a bedroom? Bathroom? Kitchen?” he asks.
“Bedroom, a guest bedroom,” I add.
He looks over the color chips I hand him, as I lean in to look with him, pointing out the samples of what I like.
“You see, like this one. See how it’s white but not like a bright white?”
“Your hair smells nice,” Ben says, looking at me and not the paint colors.
I want to tell him how nice he smells too. He has that woodsy smell that I love. And in that flannel shirt with a hint of a beard, he is looking so damn sexy. “Must be my shampoo,” I say, not knowing what else to say.
Ben clears his throat and continues. “You should probably go off-white then and keep it neutral. This ivory is kinda nice, and so is the eggshell, or how about the antique white? Or is that too white-white?” He smiles, teasing me.
“I like the antique white.”
“Do you want to buy it now? I have my boss’s card. We get a discount here. He’ll just add it to your bill.”
“That would be great, thank you.”
“Better yet, before you drop a lot of cash, why don’t I check out everything you want done? That way, you know how much expense you will be dealing with. I can always come back and get the paint.”
“That would be even better. You could follow me over to my house.”
“Sure, let’s go.”
Ben
As I follow Julie out onto the highway, I’m feeling so fucking happy right now, I can hardly stand it. Damn, she looks good even in those awful baggy overalls. She looks different with her hair shorter, but she is still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. If I’m not mistaken, she looks just as happy to see me as I am her.