Now she watched a myriad of emotions flitter across his face. He looked at her, his blue eyes blazed through her. “When? How?”
She squared her shoulders, prepared to accept the full brunt of his anger. “Because of me, Devon. All of it, because of me. You. Alekos. Kierra. Taeryl. The terrible fate that has touched your lives is my fault. I have brought your family to this terrible end.”
CHAPTER SIX
Devon tried to absorb what Eluria was telling him. Feelings of love and hate threaded through him. It wasn’t the same as the Killing Frenzy—that was a different kind of single-minded aggression manufactured by Nanus modification. These two emotions were real and were melded together with a sense of impotence—a feeling he’d never experienced before.
His hands balled into fists as he tried to grasp the realization that his father was terminated, his mother and sister exiled, and his brother—Alekos, the younger, could very well be terminated as well. Only the Tribunal had the power to force exile and command termination.
Memories of a happy, secure Before in the heart of his family flared and was reduced to cold ash in an instant. Duty. All the years that had passed with no memory, no feeling, no purpose other than duty to the Tribunal flashed through him.
And somehow Eluria was involved? In his memories of her, he found it hard to believe she could have done anything to harm his family. But she’d become a twilighter. It didn’t mesh with his memory of her. Why had she done it?
He lifted his gaze and studied her as she faced him, poised like a young, wild kyrle awaiting termination, with no way of escape. Twelve years had passed since he’d sought to court her. She had changed.
Eluria had been a good friend to Kierra, his sister. That was how he’d first met her. She’d accompanied Kierra home after a dance celebration and Kierra introduced them. He’d recognized in the brief innocent glow of her radiance, the bonding that would come to their future. Her soul blazed out at him through her beautiful violet looking-glass eyes. The plans he’d made for the future from that moment had been with the view of union and balance with Eluria Zydon. But somehow their lines to the future had been altered.
He’d lived and breathed his responsibility to the Tribunal for twelve years. How did he reconcile what she was telling him now with his duty to contain…and destroy? Always in allegiance to a government made up of people who didn’t merit loyalty. He knew his family wouldn’t have deserved persecution by the Tribunal. Devon remembered his father as a good man of wisdom, unlikely to become affiliated with a rebellion without sufficient cause. Pain shot through him at the knowledge of his loss.
With his memories no longer splintered, he knew she spoke true. Like pieces of broken mirror restored, full knowledge brought him not hate for Eluria, but self-loathing for what he’d become.
Eluria was no longer the young Maigin who honored him with her devotion. But nor was he the same naïve youth who’d envisioned a future with her as his balance. Twelve years of bloodshed covered his hands. A manufactured being created for the sole purpose of termination. Pure and decisive destruction. And he’d been very good at it. The best. How to come to terms with that knowledge? With the understanding he’d served a government that nurtured a force of killers, a tool used to subjugate and maintain control?
So new to him, his hidden memories were now at the forefront in his mind. All he’d felt and wanted Before were as though it had all happened yesterday—fresh and urgent. His desire for Eluria a living thing, winding around and through his body.
Maybe it was because of those memories he couldn’t see the hard, calculating nature of a true twilighter about Eluria. He sensed innocence and removal in her manner, though she tried to mask it. All wasn’t as she’d have him believe, and he was determined to know truth. The Maigin he’d known wouldn’t have betrayed people she loved.
“Remove the lenses.”
Her gaze widened at the request, and she shifted and tensed. “Seeing the color of my eyes will tell you nothing new. I’m deserving of your hatred. I accept it.”
Was it her knowledge of an Enforcer’s duty that made her appear to accept the inevitability of termination for her betrayal without argument, without attempting to justify her actions? Her manner was not one of a guilty, vengeful Female. Nor of a seductress out for self-gain.
Even as an Enforcer, unlike the others, he always weighed the evidence presented fairly before acting. It had been easier without the weight of emotion to blur his judgment. But even with the impediment of emotions, he couldn’t believe his instinct would be led far astray.
“Remove the lenses willingly, or I’ll do it for you. I will see the colors of my professed enemy.”
She flinched at his words, yet still she hesitated.
“Now!” he commanded and took a threatening step toward her. She was hiding something, and he was going to find out what it was, one way or the other.
Finally, she removed the lenses, but refused to meet his gaze. Devon strode towards her, and with a firm, yet gentle grip, cupped her chin and forced her head up.
Eluria lifted her gaze unwillingly to his. Her lids lowered.
“Open them,” he commanded her in a low tone.
She released a long, shuddering sigh. Finally, her gaze rose to meet Devon’s. He studied her closely, seeking the soul he’d once known as well as his own. Devon inhaled sharply at what his intense examination revealed.
Pain and desperation pulled at him. There was no dark betrayal evidenced in the reflection of her heart and soul. What shone back to him through the ruby-shadowed eyes of a twilighter, an unpure female, was a tinge of silver gray with traces of pink, the color of a soul scarred, damaged, but not evil. He saw guilt, determination, and strength. Fear, and a painful need so deep he winced in response to its wail.
The desire to soothe what he saw, to somehow make it right throbbed within his own body. Emotions and memories threaded through him—visions of Eluria and him as they’d been. Innocence lost long ago, for both of them. What he knew now, looking at her, was his desire for her hadn’t changed. Devon lifted his other hand and stroked the side of her face, wanting to find some way to assuage her suffering. Where did he start?
Eluria broke away from him and fell back against the unyielding barrier of the stone wall. “No more.” Her cry was drenched with pain. “Isn’t it enough that I’ve told you of my guilt? Must you tear all my shame from what’s left of my soul?”
He refrained from following her, although strong instinct pulled him to comfort her. He needed answers to why she felt such guilt and had destroyed her own life in her attempts to right the wrongs done to his family.
Opening her hand, she made a frantic move towards replacing the lenses.
“Stop. The lenses are unnecessary. The only purpose they ever served was to hide you from yourself. From what you didn’t want to see. They had nothing to do with what you wanted or didn’t want me to know.”
The lenses dropped to the ground as she collapsed against the walls of the cave, defeated. “What do you want from me?” she whispered. “You are healed. It is as it should be. We’ll return to Ednos and you’ll be reunited with Gavrielle and Kierra. You’ll find your place, and be restored.”
“And what of you, Eluria? Where is your place?” Devon moved a step closer to her. “What part have you played in all of this? You’ll give me your truth. All of it. You owe it.”
Her gaze fell away. “Yes. I’ll tell you my part in this madness. It’s because of me you were made an Enforcer. It’s because you were made an Enforcer that Taeryl eventually joined the Freelion rebels and led them to many victories. Taeryl was betrayed from within. I was too late with my warning. He had no time to escape.”
She paused. She didn’t say it, but he knew it would have been an Enforcer responsible for eliminating his father. Anger flowed freely through his veins at the fresh, unwelcome knowledge.
Devon sensed she found it difficult to continue. He wanted to give her time, but after twelve
blinded years, he couldn’t wait. Besides, dragging it out would only prolong her pain in the telling.
“Go on,” he coaxed her in a low tone meant to encourage her story without judgment.
Eluria glanced up at him uncertainly. “Your mother and brother escaped. Kierra was caught in the streets on her way to returning home. She was forced into service.”A look of horror passed over her face at the memory. “Three years she spent in service,” Eluria whispered, “before I was able to locate her and get her to Ednos. The life of a twilighter is not an easy one, but for Kierra…” Again, she looked away. “Her spirit has been wounded forever by her forced service. I doubt she’ll ever be able to achieve balance. Sometimes she goes far away in her mind. It’s gotten worse since Alekos disappeared. But she’s always returned with the help of Gavrielle close by to anchor her. Your return may help to steady her even more.”
“What of Alekos?”
She took a deep breath as though trying to gain strength to continue. “Alekos was filled with anger and frustration at the termination of your father. He became harder to control as he grew older. When he knew what had happened to Kierra, saw the state she was in, his rage became uncontrollable. He went away, became a Soul-Ravager, one of the worst. A rebel without heart—almost as bad as an Enforcer. He’s remained elusive. Rumors of his termination come to us often, but there’s been no solid evidence to support it. We’ve not actually seen him for five years, only heard word of his deeds.”
Devon knew of the Soul-Ravager, had heard of his bloody exploits, never realizing it was Alekos. Memories of his little brother filled his mind. Alekos had hero-worshipped Devon, followed him everywhere, hung on to his every story. But it had all happened in Before. All that had been was now gone forever.
Devon felt an urgency to see his mother. His sister. Needed to connect with them after all this time. He had a feeling connection with his brother would be difficult to achieve. “None of this explains your involvement. Or why any of this should have happened because I was selected to become an Enforcer. You haven’t given full truth yet. I want the rest.” He would know the whole of it.
* * *
Eluria pulled away from the wall and strode past Devon. “What more do you need?” she cried in frustration. Wasn’t it enough? “Now that you’re recovered we need to leave.”
She couldn’t take any more of the memory…the pain it released. Her impotence at the knowledge she was too late to save Kierra from degradation.
Kind, gentle Kierra…only a shadow remained. And she never spoke of her time in service. A twilighter companioned to the elite was treated well. But a female in service was used and traded over and over again. She shuddered at the memory of the condition Kierra was in when she finally tracked her down.
Eluria was desperate to be released from the memories, but Devon’s firm grip on her arm as she tried to move past him was like an iron claw. “What is your part in all this?”
She tried to wrest her arm from him, but finding it useless, sagged in defeat, and remained still. “All right. I’ll tell you the rest.” She took a deep breath before continuing. How did she tell her part in the destruction of his visions?
“My father discovered our hopes for union.”
“And?”
Eluria laughed humorlessly. “Commander Clorial Zydon likes his power. He was apparently in negotiations with Tribunal Leader Odon for my union with his son. When he overheard me talking with Kierra…” She trailed off, deep in memory of the conversation she’d overheard her father having with Leader Odon. “…he apparently felt his plans were threatened.” Although it had occurred twelve years ago, the moment she’d discovered his treachery was branded into her memory.
“Odon, it’s all been taken care of.” Clorial handed Leader Odon a glass of sparkling Dalanian Ale.
“Your daughter does not suspect?”
Eluria held her breath, waiting to hear her father’s response. Something inside her cringed.
Clorial laughed. “Why should she? The youth was of the age all Enforcers are inducted. None of the families ever have prior knowledge. All was accomplished in proper order.” He raised his glass. “To the union of our children. A long and fruitful contract.”
To Eluria, standing just outside the door to her father’s office, the laughter and clinking of glasses was a death knell.
“When my father left his office, I snuck inside and accessed his terminal. I found the list of youths who were seized the day you were taken. Your name was not in proper sequence according to your Ceremony of Becoming. It was at the bottom. The list was revised the day before your Ceremony. You were never supposed to be seized,” she finished raggedly.
She remembered what had come next. She’d been so distraught, realizing what had happened. How different things might have been if she’d thought more carefully about how to proceed before acting upon her emotions.
“What happened next?” Devon’s deep voice pulled her from the Before.
“I went to your father. I shouldn’t have done that. He wouldn’t have turned to the rebel cause if I hadn’t gone to him. He’d be alive today. Kierra wouldn’t be scarred—”
Eluria felt Devon’s arms wrap around her. If only she felt she deserved his sympathy. She knew she should pull away, but couldn’t find the strength to do so.
“What happened is not your guilt, na-nivia.”
“Ah, Lydion, don’t call me that!” She looked up at him, searching for the condemnation she knew should be there. Found it hard to grasp what she found was sympathy, and—something else she refused to name. “Don’t, Devon, I’m no longer the Maigin you knew.”
His steady blue gaze held hers. “Nor am I the same youth who made an oath to you.”
Eluria shook her head in denial. “But it was not by your choice. None of it. What I’ve become is because of choices I made.”
“Why did you become a twilighter? What sent you to them?” Devon forced her to look at him. “It makes no difference what has gone before, but I want to know all of your truth. Tell me.”
Her reasons at the time were muddled. It had been an innocent’s anger and futility that prompted her decisions. There’d been nothing noble about it.
“My father wouldn’t listen to me about the union he’d contracted. I begged him to return you to your family. He laughed and ridiculed my apparent naiveté. Taunted me by telling me you’d shown yourself already to be prime Enforcer stock. Informed me you’d already made your first clean kill. He took pleasure in torturing me with details of your training.” She took a shuddering breath, tried to repress the horror of that meeting. “He sold my purity and took away your past in exchange for more power and wealth,” she finished bitterly.
Devon’s arms tightened around her. The security of his arms felt too good. He shouldn’t want to soothe her, not after everything she was telling him.
“I’d thought he loved me,” she continued in a low voice, “wanted my happiness, but found that to be untrue. I knew there would never be balance in a relationship such as he’d devised. A union made in Haydon. I knew in my soul it would never be honored by Guardian, nor given the balance of Mylonna and Symion.” She looked up at him, knowing he would see the essence of her heart and soul. “There was only one with whom I’d experience the true balance of Lydion and that vision of union was destroyed forever.”
Devon brushed a hand along the curve of her face and she leaned into it. She’d never realized before how truly cold her soul had become. His touch was like a warming beacon on a frigid night.
“The night before the union celebration I went to the House of Twilight and sold my purity. I decided if anyone would profit from my innocence, it would not be my father. The next day he confronted me and I was officially declared impure and no longer of any use to him. I haven’t spoken to him since that day.”
Devon pulled her close. “It was an act of desperation. I wish I’d been there, I should have been. There was no one to protect you.”
&nb
sp; She leaned back and looked at him. “Who protected you and your family from my father’s greed, Devon?” she asked softly. “I vowed the day I found out what he’d done, I would find a way to free you.”
Devon stroked her hair. “You’ve done that, Eluria. That and more.”
“But too late. It was by accident I heard of the plan to seize your father. I’d been able to pass him bits of information from my…assignments.” She tried to pull away, but his arms anchored her. “As soon as I heard he’d been discovered, I went to him.”
She reached up to remove the silver necklace hanging around her neck. “He gave me this. We talked many times about you.” She looked down at the talisman she’d worn next to her skin for so many years. “He wanted you to have it. He had faith I’d find you.”
She offered it to him. Devon released her and took the chain from her hand. A wrenching tugged at her heart. It was the last link binding her to him and his family. He studied the talisman, then looked at her. His gaze held memory—and sadness.
“Do you know what it is?”
She shook her head. It had been enough to know it was something she was to hold in safekeeping for his return. It kept her focused on her purpose. “I only know he meant for me to place it in your hand and to offer you one word. Remember.”
Devon’s vision turned inward, past her, into the Before. “It belonged to my grandfather, and his father before him. It is a symbol of our freedom from the brutality of the Moygars—a piece of the shackle our descendant wore. My great-grandfather had it encased in crystallite to preserve it. It has been handed down to each eldest son since that time.” She watched as his gaze returned to the talisman cupped in his hand. His fingers curled into a tight fist around the memory.
“I’m so sorry, Devon.”
“It’s all that’s left. And you have protected it. Don’t be sorry.” His determined blue gaze caught and trapped her.
“Devon.” The word was but a sob of answering need.
Eluria's Enforcer (The Argadian Heart Trilogy Book 1) Page 5