by Aimée Thurlo
She shook her head. “No. I always know it’s you once I see your face. The telltale difference is there in your eyes,” she explained, then grew quiet, trying to find the right words. “Yours are gentler, softer somehow than Jake’s are. Well, except for when he looks at Noelle and Annie. But, even then, that gentleness stays there only for an instant, then it’s gone.”
Her answer warmed him, but suddenly uncomfortable with how deeply she’d touched him, he gave her a playful grin. “Wait a second,” he said, feigning horror. “Are you saying I’m a wuss compared to my brother?”
Jake came in then. “Of course you are. You always have been. That’s why the prettiest girls always picked me.”
Eden laughed but came to Nick’s rescue. “If I remember right, neither one of the Black Raven brothers ever lacked female company.”
Jake reached for Annie’s hand and kissed it. “A Black Raven man never gives his heart away easily—until that one special woman comes along.”
Nick looked at Eden, fighting the impulse to draw her closer to him. What his brother hadn’t said because Annie already knew it, was that once a Black Raven man surrendered his heart, it was for a lifetime.
Nick’s gaze stayed on Eden, and when she smiled at him, he felt the familiar sweet fire she always created in him. Even betrayal hadn’t completely destroyed his feelings for her. Sensing Jake was watching them, he glanced away from her. Jake could read him too well, and there was no way he wanted his brother to know how much he still cared for Eden.
They began to study the old photo albums, Jake and Annie working together because she was the only one who hadn’t grown up at the pueblo. Together, they made notes of homes and storage places used by friends of Saya Black Raven and/or Isabel, marking down places that may have doubled as a hiding place for the artifacts.
Martin grew quiet and pensive as he leafed through the album he was holding. “I just remembered that one of my nephews was allowed to take hundreds of photos for an anthropologist several years back. Those photos are in a restricted section of the university library, their special collections room.”
“That’s a good lead, Martin,” Nick said. “Thanks.”
“Here’s another,” Eden added quietly. “The barn pictured in the background of this particular photo is one I remember well. It belonged to Grams. She moved in with me after Mom and Dad died. I stored their furniture to make room for her own.”
“When’s the last time you were there?” Nick asked.
“Ages ago. And I never searched through those pieces of furniture, though I’m sure the police did at the time.”
“Undoubtedly,” Nick conceded, “but it can’t hurt for us to take a look. How about if we go over there early tomorrow morning?”
“It’ll have to be before eight in the morning. I have school,” Eden answered.
“I’ll be there at a quarter to seven.” Nick glanced over at his brother and noticed that Annie was leaning against him, her eyes nearly closed. Jake’s arm was draped protectively over her and Noelle.
“You look as if you’ve had a long day, Annie,” Nick said gently.
She nodded, her eyes heavy. “Noelle doesn’t sleep on my schedule. She’ll be up again at around four in the morning.”
Eden gave her a sympathetic look. “Let’s call it a night, then. These albums will still be here tomorrow.”
Annie gave her a grateful smile. “I really appreciate that. I’ll be up early,” she said, glancing at Noelle, then letting out a soft sigh. “I’ll start looking through everything again then and make a list of any areas that look promising.”
Thanking Jake and Annie, Eden picked up Christopher and placed him in his carrier. Her little boy never woke up. Eden smiled. “As I said, he’s out for the count now.”
As they drove back in Nick’s vehicle, they passed by the old barn, the one they were going to visit tomorrow. Eden called his attention to it. “That’s the place. I don’t know if anything’s still there. Although Grams relinquished her old home to the tribe when she moved into my parents’ house, I believe she kept the barn because she needed storage space. Why don’t we stop by now and see what’s there?”
“It’s too dark. We won’t be able to see much of anything.”
“That old barn was wired with electricity ages ago,” she said. “Dad came here at night a lot to practice his guitar and sing. He was such a lousy musician, Mom insisted he do it somewhere where people couldn’t hear,” she said, chuckling.
He smiled. “I remember hearing others talk about that. No one could figure out why he kept practicing when he obviously didn’t have much of a gift for it.”
She laughed. “That was my dad. Nothing anyone ever said stopped him from doing what he wanted. He used to say he didn’t play for anyone else’s entertainment—just his own. Mom agreed wholeheartedly.”
Nick drove down the fence line, then parked in front of the old barn.
Eden looked at the tall wooden doors, carefully scrutinizing them in the beams of the Jeep’s headlights. “Those doors have been damaged. Look at the splintered wood where they come together in the middle. Someone must have used a wrecking bar to force them open, ripping the lock right off.”
“Not necessarily. That wood could have dried out on its own. The sides of the barn aren’t in any better shape. The desert sun can tear apart almost anything, given enough time.”
He grabbed a flashlight, flipped off the safety strap from his holster, and kept his hand within reach of his pistol as he climbed out of the vehicle. “Let me check things out before you turn off the lights and engine and follow me in. If there’s trouble, put the car in reverse and get out of here.”
She watched him for a moment. Was he kidding? She was capable of many things, but not abandoning someone when the going got rough. Yet, as she looked at Chris sleeping in the back, she realized she’d have no other choice if something did go wrong. Her stomach twisted into a knot. “I’ll make sure you’re safe no matter what, sweetheart. But I’ll have to come right back. Nick deserves that much from both of us.”
Hoping that she wouldn’t have to make any drastic choices, she waited, but Nick soon returned. “Someone’s been here recently, all right, but whoever it was is long gone now,” he said. “Come in with me and tell me if you notice anything missing.”
“I’ll try, but it’s been a very long time since I was here.” She unfastened the car seat and carried Chris inside the barn with her. Nick joined her after turning off the engine and grabbing the ignition key.
With the help of Nick’s flashlight, Eden located the wall switch that turned on the single lightbulb dangling from a cord near the center of the interior. A clear brightness illuminated the small wooden building, which was crowded with old furniture and boxes resting on wooden pallets.
Eden glanced around, recognizing pieces such as her parents’ bed and dresser. Memories came flooding back and, with them, a sadness that was hard to shake off. Her whole family had been ripped from her, victims of a web of deceit that followed her to this day.
“Are you okay?” Nick asked quietly.
She nodded. “Sometimes it gets to me, that’s all. I loved my parents, but their love for each other was more like a curse than a blessing. My dad’s job as a BIA cop nearly destroyed my mother because she loved him so much. In the end, when they finally stood together, it cost them their lives. The way I see it, all their love ever really did for them was define their version of Hell.”
“My parents were like that, too,” he said, his voice taut. “And he was a rancher, not a cop. The only thing worse for them than being together was when they were apart. I don’t think love comes with any guarantees of perfection.”
She held his gaze. “And look at you and me… We’ve hurt each other time and time again.”
He spoke slowly, and with effort, as if the words he really wanted to say stayed just beyond his reach. “But something—something right—brings us back together.”
“And e
ventually pulls us apart. We just aren’t good for each other.”
“I have to disagree,” he said. His smile, so full of male confidence, tore her breath away. “There are times when we are very good for each other.”
Feeling herself responding to him, she moved back, focusing on the furnishings that represented a piece of her past. “Let’s get to work,” she mumbled quickly.
They went through each piece together. Nick checked the drawers and compartments, searching bottoms and sides as well, looking for anything that might have been overlooked. When they reached the last piece, a nightstand that had been damaged by a leaky roof, Eden opened the drawer and found a small snapshot inside.
Her eyes misted as she saw the photo of her and her mother taken their last Christmas together. “I was happy then,” she managed. “We weren’t the ideal family, but we had each other. Then, after they were gone, there was nothing for me—just recriminations and the distrust of an entire pueblo. I was so terribly alone and unhappy.”
“Those days are gone, Eden. You’ll never be able to recapture what you lost, but you have other things in your life now. Open your eyes and really see what’s there.”
Her gaze gentled as it settled over her son, who was still asleep in the carrier now resting on the dining table. “My son is the biggest blessing in my life.”
“There are other things, too. But you have to reach out and take them,” he said, grasping her shoulders and turning her around to face him.
As they stood face to face, she held her breath. There was a world of wanting in his eyes, but it was far more than passion. She could see the reflection of love in his eyes. Something melted inside her, taking away every reason for resisting.
He cupped her face in his hands, then traced her lips with the tip of his tongue.
Eden wrapped her arms around him, trembling. Feeling his breath on her mouth, she waited for his kiss, needing to taste him and feel the heat of his passion, but he didn’t move.
“What happens next is up to you, Eden,” he said, his voice a throaty whisper. “You have to need me as much as I need you, or it’s no good.”
She kissed him then, putting her heart into it in a way she hadn’t done since that one fateful night so long ago. Eden pushed the folds of his shirt aside, and pressed her palms against his chest, caressing his smooth muscles. “You tempt me every time you come close, Nick, and when you touch me all I want is more.”
Nick’s body felt as hot as a furnace. He’d loved her once, but she’d walked out on him. This time she would remember every kiss, every touch. Tonight, he would burn a path to her soul.
“I want to kiss you in all those secret places that drive you wild. I want you to remember the fire…”
Nick pulled her blouse open, pushing her bra aside and pressed her against his own naked chest. “I like the way you tremble in my arms,” he said in a raw voice, then covered her mouth with his, swallowing the little cries that came from the depths of her being.
His kiss was hot and hungry, and the slide of his lips against hers made her wild.
“This is the way it should be,” he said, his voice seductively rough and masculine.
Nick lowered his head and took her breast into his mouth. The sensations that ripped through her made her arch against him, craving more.
Her soft cries tore through him. Nick slid his hands down her back to the curve of her buttocks, then lifted her against him, letting her feel his hardness. Her body softened, yielding to him in a way he remembered well.
“Nick.” His name was a whispered plea on her lips. She moved instinctively against him, fitting herself against his heat in a way that made everything male in him respond.
He kissed her again, not knowing or caring who was possessing and who was being possessed. Her body told him that she was his, and the time was now. Blood thundered through his veins, driving him to take everything she offered him.
Suddenly a car horn blasted, rattling the windows. Chris awoke and immediately began crying. As tiny rays of light from a pair of headlights forced their way through the cracks in the outside walls, Nick moved away from Eden, cursing under his breath.
Nick walked to the barn doors and looked outside. A tribal vehicle continued down the road, slowly. “It’s Deputy Torres. But what he’s doing here is beyond me.”
“He may have seen your tribal unit and came by to make sure everything was okay.”
Nick crouched by the ground, and saw footprints that weren’t his or Eden’s just outside the entrance. Anger filled him. Torres’s insistence on knowing everything that was happening was getting old in a hurry and, tonight, he’d learned far more than Nick had ever meant for him to discover. The car horn and headlights as he was leaving had only been his way of announcing he’d been there.
As he turned around to look at Eden, he saw her cradling Christopher in her arms, her blouse still open. The fire in him burned unabated. Yet, as their eyes met, he knew their moment had come and gone. Desire no longer shined in her eyes. All he could see now was bewilderment, and a trace of fear.
The knowledge nearly destroyed him. He didn’t want the love he could give her to be tainted by regret or fear. If that’s what was left in her heart when he no longer held her, then it was no good.
“You better take us home, Nick,” she said, now that the baby had calmed down.
He nodded, devastated by what he’d discovered.
“This can’t happen again,” she said quietly as they got underway. “We’ll only destroy each other if we keep going down this path. You don’t want a family, and, like me, your life is set up the way you want it. You’ve got your career. I’ve got my son and he’ll always come first. You and I had our chance and it slipped away from us. We have to accept it. Trust is not something that will ever come naturally between us and, without it, we have nothing.”
“Time changes everything, Eden. You know that. I’m not the same man I was a few years ago before my father’s death brought me back home. I wouldn’t have ever risked a relationship back then with a woman who had a child. But life has a way of tearing us down and reshaping us. I don’t see having a family in the same light as I used to. A man needs something more than himself. But trust is another thing. It isn’t something I can do anymore and I’m not sure that’ll ever change.
“That’s why we have to back away from each other. A relationship where trust doesn’t exist can’t survive. If we allow emotions to draw us together, we’ll rip each other apart. I don’t want that to happen. We already carry too many scars from the past. It’s time we both realized that some things are just not meant to be.”
She saw the hesitancy in his eyes and understood exactly what he was feeling. It was hard to walk away from what their hearts so desperately wanted, but they had no choice. Destiny had left them with no other options.
Chapter Ten
It was just past noon, and Eden was walking back from school. Today Mrs. Chino would keep Christopher until mid afternoon so Eden could run some errands. Although she loved her little son, it was incredible how much more time even the simplest things took when he was around.
Hearing a vehicle approaching from behind her, Eden turned her head. Her pulse began to race as she saw Nick turning toward her in his old Jeep. They’d canceled their early morning trip after last night’s adventure, so she hadn’t expected to see him.
He pulled to a stop beside her. “I got a phone call from Annie this morning. Noelle got them up even earlier than they’d expected, and both she and Jake took advantage of the extra time to study the photo albums. It turns out that they found a snapshot of your mother and mine by an old farmhouse near the Rio Grande. Jake and I both remember that place because Mom used to love to pack a picnic basket and spend the day out there when we were kids.”
“You think my mother might have used the farmhouse as a hiding place instead of my grandmother’s barn?” she asked.
Nick looked relaxed out of uniform, wearing a chambray shirt u
nbuttoned nearly halfway down with the sleeves rolled up. There was a radiant male vitality about him that wrapped itself around her, making it difficult to keep her thinking clear.
“I don’t know if we’ll find anything out there, but it’s worth checking out, don’t you think?”
“You bet. I assume you’re off duty at the moment.” The really frightening thing was how badly she wanted to be with him right now. Finding the artifacts meant the world to her, yet what she wanted most was time to spend with him.
“I’m off and I won’t be reporting to work until late this evening. I’m working graveyard tonight. So I’m heading out to the farmhouse now. Do you want to come?”
As she saw herself reflected in his eyes, she understood how easy it would be to lose herself in that dark gaze, and never want to find herself again except through him.
Her own vulnerability frightened her and she forced herself to focus on the task at hand. “I don’t have to pick up Chris until this evening, so this is a good time for me,” she said.
Eden slipped into the passenger’s seat. “By the way, I had a long talk with the two girls, Berta and Terri, this morning. I don’t believe they’ll be playing matchmaker again for a long time. But kids do have short memories, so stay on your guard,” she warned.
He laughed. “A part of me tends to see what they did as a good deed. I can’t honestly say that I regret having seen you wearing only a towel.”
Eden shot him The Look, something she’d already begun to perfect as a teacher. Not surprisingly, it worked.
The ride across the country road was rough, but she’d expected that. After thirty minutes of driving, however, she began to suspect that they were going in circles.
“Nick, far be it from me to criticize, but I recognize that canyon. We’ve been here before.”
“I know,” he answered, looking in his rearview mirror.
She turned her head. No one was behind them. The muddy dirt track was completely deserted. “Why are you going in circles, then? No one’s following us.”