She ran and ran …
But both of us know you can never run away from a lie.
***
Accompanying Song: “Violent Delights Have Violent Ends” by Ramin Djawadi
Hyun
The note ends suddenly. It’s the first handwritten one, but the letters aren’t normal; they’re blocky. And the final words seem scratchy … like they ended swiftly because he had to go. As if he realized the longer he stayed, the bigger the chance of his discovery.
I shiver and swallow as I realize he was there the whole time I was naked and didn’t say a word.
If I’d known he was there …
I don’t even want to think about it.
But still … his comment about not being able to call the cops is too close for comfort.
I feel like he knows more than he’s letting on. Like he’s been watching me longer than I thought. And it irks me … because he’s right.
When I first called 911 and the cops came to my house, Greg sweet-talked them into forgetting the whole thing ever happened. He made them believe I was lying. That I was upset because of a fight and didn’t mean to keep them busy. They believed him, and not just that … when they were gone, Greg told me they’d never listen to me. He’d bought them all off. And he said if I ever called them again, I’d be sorry. Just like that, my life was no longer safe. No longer my own. That night … he even forced me to lay down on his lap so he could spank me until my skin was blood red.
I shake my head and force the memories from my head. I will not give him power over me anymore. My self-worth is my own, and no one can touch that.
Someone wants to send me messages? Fine. I’ll keep them. Besides, I don’t have anything else to lose. I don’t feel threatened. I know what that feels like because I lived it for months, but this … this is something different.
In a weird way, I’m flattered someone would go through this much trouble to be with me. Even going so far as to enter my home without my knowledge. Yet he still hasn’t made a move. All he’s done is watch me … and I don’t know why, but the thought doesn’t even creep me out anymore. I don’t think he really wants to harm me. It sounds more like a deep-seated need to be with me.
So I take the note with me and place it on the stack I’ve collected. Then I grab a folder and stuff them all inside so I can keep them together. I won’t throw them out. I won’t show them to the police. I want to see where this trail of crumbs leads. Even if it’s dangerous or bad… I don’t care. Why? Because it’s my choice. The one and only choice in my life I’ve made by myself.
Besides, these notes might be useful … one day.
***
A few days later
As I walk out the door to go on a morning jog, I notice a second car parked in my driveway, and it isn’t mine.
I stop and pull my earbuds from my ears, the music still ringing as I stare at the car in front of me.
“Morning!”
I look up and see my next-door neighbor Lorelei watering her plants. She smiles and waves with soil-covered hands, so I smile back and say, “Good morning.”
“Got some visitors?”
I frown. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, I just thought … well, looking at the car, I figured you and Greg might be back together again.”
My heart stops beating for a second, and I vehemently shake my head.
“Oh … But … what’s his car doing there then?”
For a second, I’m surprised she knows what his car looks like, but then I remember showing her a few pictures that I carried in my wallet just so she’d know who to look for if he came back to get me.
“I don’t know …” I sigh and look around, but I don’t see anyone except us.
Lorelei puts down her rake and says, “Now that I think about it, I did see someone when I walked into my shed a half-hour ago to grab some tools. Some guy wearing a hoodie and a long coat. He went into the forest behind our homes.”
My lips part, but I don’t know what to say. All I can do is hope that it wasn’t Greg.
“Maybe it was him,” she adds, only unnerving me more.
I nod and take a deep breath. “Thanks.” I turn around and start walking to the forest.
“Are you going to follow him?”
“Yes.”
“Good luck.” I hear Lorelei’s voice behind me, but I no longer respond.
My heart is racing, and my head is too busy trying to make sense of this. Trying not to panic.
If Greg is really out there … what is he doing here? I have to know if it’s him.
Despite being scared shitless, I still tread through the fallen leaves and over the rotting branches, making my way through the dense forest. The sky almost seems pitch-black from here, as if the day has suddenly turned to night.
A twig snaps underneath my foot, and then I hear a rustling noise in front of me.
I rush past the trees and come to an open area with a small pool of water in the middle. “Is anyone there?” I call out, my voice hampering. Fading into nothingness.
The light hooting of a bird, possibly an owl, is my only response.
However, something peculiar draws my attention. A string hangs from a low branch of a tree on the other side of the pool. Before I do anything, I look around and check if anyone’s there, but I don’t see a soul or hear a thing.
Maybe he’s already long gone.
I walk around it and approach the string, only to discover another note dangling from it. For some reason, the fact another note is waiting to be found makes me less fearful. I tear it off carefully and read the typed out words.
Are you ready to play?
I check the back, but it’s blank. There’s only this one line … and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight.
Am I ready to play?
That depends on the game.
I smirk and tuck the note into my pocket. That’s when I hear rustling behind me, and I turn around and run toward the sound. I swear I could see something disappearing behind a tree, but as I approach, I find it’s nothing more than a cute squirrel jumping up into the tree.
I blow out a breath and smile to myself. No need to be on edge.
Except … when I hear the humming of an engine and the loud screeching of a car racing away.
***
Accompanying Song: “Obsession” by Golden State (Animotion Cover)
Drake
With my Polaroid on the passenger’s seat, I race off in my car, making sure to stay low so no one can see me. I know her neighbor saw me, but my hoodie hid my face, so I doubt she knows who I am.
As I hit the gas and turn the corner with one hand, I sift through the photos I took of Hyun with my other hand. Some of them show her looking up at books in the library. A few others are of her picking up my various notes. Every time, the look on her face is what captures most of my attention. That, and the blush … god, that fucking blush.
With one hand, I unbutton my pants and dive in while the other stays firmly on the wheel. While I look through the photos one by one, I focus on her mouth and picture myself running the tip of my cock along her pouty lips. I’m already hard from just the thought, and I stroke myself long and slowly. I want to take my time to enjoy these pictures, and I really don’t care if anyone catches me jerking off in my own car right now. I don’t even care that I’m still cruising down the street; I just want to touch myself while I look at her.
I like her too much. So much so that I can’t stop thinking about her. Her presence consumes my every fucking thought. I won’t be able to hold back much longer … and I doubt she’ll want me to by the time she realizes what I could do to her body.
6.
Accompanying Song: “A Reflection” by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Hyun
5 months before
I’ve worked day in and day out, trying to keep myself occupied. I even asked my boss for extra hours, just to
stay here. He agreed, but only if I did it for free, which I do. I don’t care about it. I’m doing anything to avoid having to go back home, where I know that man will be waiting for me.
He followed me everywhere.
When I finally managed to escape my parents’ home after the party, he was on my porch the next day, stepping foot on my lawn. No matter how many times I told him no, he wouldn’t listen. It got so bad he even tried to force me to go with him, blocking my way with his car.
I won’t let it happen, so I’ve kind of disappeared now, for the time being.
My parents have tried to call me a gazillion times, probably to ask me where I am and to tell me to get home immediately. After a while, I turned off my phone and just ignored it all. But I know he’s out there somewhere, waiting for me. And when he finds me, I know it’ll be too late to escape.
I can’t let that happen, so I’ve been sleeping in the back of the coffee shop for a few days now, behind a few boxes where I’ve made a bed out of coffee bean bags and cartons. I keep sneaking in through the back door whenever it’s time to lock up. No one notices I’m gone … not many people do anyway. My boss doesn’t know about it, luckily, because I’m sure he’d kick me out if he did.
A new customer making his way to the front of the line pulls me from my thoughts.
Sighing, I hand the cup of cappuccino to him and say, “Have a pleasant day, sir.”
He gazes down at his cup. “I didn’t order this …”
For a moment, I’m flabbergasted, and then I realize he ordered a Frappuccino. “I’m so sorry, sir.”
He hands the cup back to me, and I quickly dump it and begin again. As I give him the proper coffee, my boss stands behind me and says, “I know you asked for more hours, but if you’re gonna mess it up, that’s not very useful.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I say.
“Really?” He raises his brows at me.
“Promise,” I add, and I give him a fake smile.
“All right. If you say so.” He places his hand on my shoulder. “Your next customer is here. I’m gonna go back to my office to get some of that paperwork done. If you need any help, holler, all right? Good luck.”
I don’t reply because when I look up and see him standing in front of me, I freeze.
Out of all people, it has to be him.
Gregory Warren.
How did he find out where I worked? I never told him the exact location.
And how did he know I was here today? Never once did I tell him my schedule.
“Hello, Hyun. What a pleasure to see you again …” The wretched smile on his face makes my eyes watery.
There’s only one thing I can say. “Leave.”
“Now, now, is that the way to speak to a customer?” He cocks his head. “Maybe I should speak to the manager about your behavior toward me.”
“No,” I say sternly.
“Hyun?” I hear behind me, and when I glance over my shoulder, I see my manager appear from the back. “What’s this about?”
“Oh, Hyun and I are practically family, and I wanted to speak with her for a second, but she says she’s got so much work she can’t take a minute break,” Greg fills in. It’s as if he’s played it all out in his head. Lie after lie.
“It’s fine. I’ll take over for her,” my manager says.
“But—”
“No buts. You go take a break, Hyun. You obviously need it.” My manager pushes me out in front of the counter, closer to Greg. “Go on,” he spurs.
Greg wraps his filthy fingers around my shoulder and pulls me so close I can smell his stench, making bile rise in my throat. “Yeah, c’mon, Hyun. We’re gonna have a little chat.”
“Please don’t …” I mutter, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Honey, you know this has been a long time coming.”
“I don’t want you,” I whisper, hoping the customers don’t hear. I don’t want to lose my job. It’s the only thing I like about my life. The only thing I chose for myself. The only part I have control over.
“But I want you,” he murmurs, smiling sickly. “My wife.”
Those words create goose bumps all over my body.
“You have no choice in the matter. Your parents wanted money, and I wanted you. What’s done is done. But I’ll give you a good life.” He grins, and I know it’s a lie too.
He escorts me outside where his car is parked right in front of the door. “Get in.”
He stands behind me and blocks my only way out. I turn around and face him, looking directly into his eyes with fury.
He licks his lips. “You don’t want to make a scene, Hyun … If you do, I’ll make sure there isn’t a coffee shop to return to when I’m done with you.”
I shudder, and the tears stop immediately. This monster deserves nothing.
I don’t want to lose the only place that makes me feel like I actually own my own life.
I have no other choice but to step into the car.
So I turn around and crawl in quietly, realizing this might be the last time I set foot on the ground as a free woman.
***
Accompanying Song: “Daydream” by Ruelle
4 months before
In my white gown, I walk along the aisle, tears staining my eyes. Still, I refuse to cry. I hold my breath as I lay my eyes on the man in the suit inches away from me, his wicked smile crushing my soul.
Every step I take is another one toward being a prisoner in a loveless marriage, and each of them feels heavier … more painful than I could ever imagine.
I stay silent through most of the ordeal. I’m only partially there; my mind has already long drifted off to a place where I can be at peace. He holds my hand like it already belongs to him, and when I’m asked for my answer, I simply answer yes.
A ring that feels cold and unwelcome slips on my finger, and Greg leans in for the most hideous kiss I’ve ever felt. My life, stolen away by a madman.
When everything is over, we walk out through the rows of people, and I’m overcome with shame at having to look into their eyes, knowing it’s all a lie. My parents seem joyful, smiling brightly as I pass them. Money is all it took to make them happy, in exchange for my own happiness.
Mom briefly grabs my hand and squeezes. “I’m so proud of you, honey.”
Her words sound hollow, only adding to the chasm slowly eating away my heart.
It all seems like a blur. Minutes and seconds merge until I don’t even know how much time has passed or how late it is.
When the guests congratulate us on our marriage, I manage to slip outside with a glass of champagne and drink it outside on a bench. I’m on my own for the first time in a long while. Greg probably lets me out of his sight because he knows I can no longer escape him.
This ring …
I stare at it, wishing I could toss it away.
It burns into my skin.
I look up and wipe away the tears I promised I wouldn’t cry.
In the distance, a man walks away over a dirt path as he pulls his hoodie over his head. For a moment, he glances at me over his shoulder and shows a tiny hint of a smile.
After which he disappears.
***
Accompanying Song: “A Reflection” by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Now
My fingers glide over the ring on my finger, twisting and turning it until I can’t feel it anymore. I look at the notes I received so far. I’ve read them so many times I can almost recite them word for word without looking.
I don’t know why, but these notes … they feel … like they’re important. Personal. Meaningful. Unlike Greg.
He never wrote anything. He always called people on the phone instead of sending messages. And if it was really him, wanting me back, I’d guess he’d barge down my door right about now. He wouldn’t go about it in a sneaky way.
No, this is someone else.
I fumble with my ring again, and it bothers me so much that I pull it off and toss it away.
It’s the first time I’ve taken it off since my wedding, and damn, does it feel liberating. I don’t even know why it took me so long to take it off in the first place. Maybe I kept it on out of habit. A silent reminder of his chokehold on me.
But enough is enough.
I get up and put the notes back into the folder. However, as I lean over my table, I notice something in the trashcan next to my door.
Frowning, I walk over to it and pluck out a half-smoked cigarette.
For a few seconds, I stare at it, wondering what it’s doing here.
I don’t smoke.
Rage boils up from deep inside, and I crush the cigarette in my hand. Then I grab the gun that I hid behind the vase and tuck it into my pocket. Anger blinds me from making the right decision. Instead, I storm out of my house, jump into my car, and drive straight to Greg’s.
For ages, I was fearful of going back and facing the beast, and still, the anxiety makes me tremble. However, the raging fury inside me has taken over, and it wants out. There’s no stopping me. No matter how many times the voices in my head tell me it’s a bad idea, I still go to his house, ignoring all the warnings I know are there for a reason.
I just have to know.
I don’t just knock on his door. I practically ram it, all while smashing the doorbell too. “Greg! I know you’re in there!” I know it’s evening, but at this point, I don’t care if the neighbors hear me.
I slam his door a few more times and yell, “Greg! Open the door!”
Dirty Wife Games Page 4