“Are you unhappy with him, Aunie?”
“Unhappy? No. I just don’t feel very … secure. He warned me a long time ago that he wasn’t big on commitment and I thought I was okay with that. But I don’t think I am, really. I want more, Mary. I love him so much, and I want the security of knowing he loves me, too. Sometimes, I truly believe he does. But then he gets all cool and reserved on me. He withdraws into himself and I just can’t reach him. I hate worryin’ that today’s the day he’s gonna decide he’s bored with me.”
“I really don’t see that happening. You ask me, he’s runnin’ scared.”
Aunie looked at her in amazed disbelief. “This is a joke, right?” When Mary didn’t offer the punch line, she demanded, “Runnin’ scared from what? I don’t think there’s anything in this world that James Ryder is afraid of.”
“I think he’s scared silly of you. Of you leaving him. Of you getting hurt. Jeez, Aunie, he guards you like a starving dog with a tasty bone.”
“Believe me, the last thing he has to fear is my leaving him, and he knows it. Every time he makes love to me I ramble on and on about how much I love him. I try not to, ‘cuz I’m afraid it’ll scare him off, but I can’t seem to help myself.”
“Sex talk.” Mary shrugged. “He won’t take that seriously. Everybody does it.”
“He doesn’t.”
“That just means that he’s the type who, when he finally does get around to saying the words, will really mean them. Trust those feelings that tell you he really loves you. Better yet, why don’t you try a little communication? I can almost guarantee that it wouldn’t hurt for the two of you to climb out of bed long enough to talk to each other.”
“I know, I know. I say I wanna be a grown-up, then I whine like a seventh grader with her first real crush. But I’m a slow starter. I’ve never felt anything remotely like this before and I’m terrified of losing it. Every time I open my mouth to broach the subject I chicken out, because what if he says, ‘No I don’t love you, and I don’t want your love either—all I wanna do is fuck?’ I honest to God don’t know what I’d do.” She shook off the mantle of depression this conversation had produced. “Let’s talk about somethin’ else. It’s too nice a day for worrying about things you can’t change.”
“Okay,” Mary replied agreeably. She planted her chin in her palm and smiled. “So, tell me. Aside from the obvious, Ms. Franklin, what is the most vulnerable area of a man’s body?”
Aunie laughed and ticked them off on her fingers. “The obvious, of course: testicles. Then there’s throat, eyes, nose, and kneecaps.”
Aunie was surprised to find Paul as well as James waiting for her when she left her last class. She waved to Mary, who was making her way toward them against the flow of hall traffic, and then turned to James’s brother. “Hello, Paul. It’s nice to see you.”
Paul gave her a shy smile. “Hi ya. Hope y’ don’t mind my tagging along with Jimmy.”
“Of course not. Did y’all do somethin’ together this afternoon?”
“Yeah. I’m moving into a new place on Queen Anne and Jimmy took me shopping for a new couch.” He gave her a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t trust my taste; it’s been said it’s all in my mouth.”
“It’s not an exaggeration, either,” James contributed. “You should’ve seen the plaid Herculon monstrosity he was leanin’ toward.”
“I suppose you steered him toward black leather, instead?”
“Nah,” Paul answered. “We ended up with something real nice.” He launched into a description of it for her.
Mary, who had approached a moment earlier, took advantage of Aunie’s preoccupation with Paul and leaned toward James. “Listen,” she murmured, “Aunie really wants to go out on a date.”
All the good humor fled James’s face and his eyes turned cold and flat. His hand whipped out and gripped Mary’s wrist. “With whom?” he demanded.
Mary stared at him with openmouthed amazement. “With you, you idiot,” she snapped and pried his fingers off her arm. She rubbed feeling back into her skin. “She said you’ve never taken her out.”
Dull color climbed high into James’s angular cheekbones. He noticed her still rubbing her wrist and glanced quickly at Aunie. Thank God, she hadn’t noticed him manhandling her friend. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m dandy.” Mary studied him for a moment. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”
“You’re okay.” Mary arched an eyebrow at him and he admitted, “All right, maybe I’m still a little pissed about the way you took Aunie out to pick up men.”
Her jaw dropped. “My God,” she said incredulously, “that was nearly five months ago! You sure as hell hold a grudge for someone who didn’t even have a relationship with her at the time.” She watched color tint his face. “For your information, James, I didn’t take her out to pick up men, I took her out to celebrate finals and have a few laughs. If we’d seriously gone hunting for bear, buddy, then trust me, she wouldn’t have ended up babysitting you that night.”
James plowed his fingers through his hair until his fingertips bumped the rubber band holding back his hair. He stared at Mary as he gripped his ponytail. Finally, a large shoulder inched toward his ear. “I suppose,” he admitted.
“You suppose what?” Aunie inquired, turning back to them.
“He supposes he can put up with me for dinner tonight, when what he really planned was to have you all to himself,” Mary supplied smoothly when James, his expression uncharacteristically blank, just stared at Aunie.
“Good, you can feed me, too,” Paul said with a small smile. “I’m afraid to drop by unannounced. Bobby said he did, and you gave him the bum’s rush.”
James flushed. He had rather unceremoniously hustled Bobby out of Aunie’s apartment the other night the instant she’d returned from a session at the gym. She’d been all flushed and dewy from her workout, and he’d had a sudden need to get to her before the sweat had a chance to dry.
“If you don’t mind potluck, you’re both welcome,” Aunie said warmly. “But, Paul, you and James are goin’ to have to entertain yourselves for a while. Mary and I have to study.”
“No problem.”
James thought about both their guests later that evening after they had left. He supposed Mary wasn’t really all that bad. She had a fairly decent sense of humor and she loved Aunie. She could be worse.
Paul’s company he had really enjoyed. It had been so many years since he’d been around his brother when he wasn’t high or looking to get high that he’d all but forgotten about his sense of humor. When they were kids, Paul’s sense of the ridiculous had always been closely in tune with James’s.
Unfortunately, of the four Ryder boys, Paul had had the most difficulty finding an identity for himself. In those days, he’d been shy and insecure with anyone who wasn’t immediate family, and James imagined that had contributed a good deal to his years of addiction. In the beginning, cocaine had given him a false sense of courage. It had made him feel indomitable, and then it had systematically begun to destroy him.
But today, James could see the quiet pride of self that Paul was developing. He’d talked to him at length about the program and his encounter groups, about the feeling of self-respect he gained every day he survived without giving in to the need for a snort. He’d had a pocket full of money today, and he’d been like a kid in a candy store as they’d shopped for furniture for his new apartment, proud as a boy with a shiny new bike as he’d shown James his new place. It wasn’t huge or deluxe, and Paul had known it, but he’d also known it was respectable and nice … a far cry from the dump he’d lived in for so many years.
It was amazing. His brothers were finally beginning to do what he’d longed for them to do … they were beginning to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. Paul was getting on track; Bobby had actually made two payments now on the loan James had given him, and Will … Well, Will was still a horse’s ass,
but maybe there was eventual hope for him, too. He hadn’t seen him since the day he’d come looking for money for his girlfriend’s abortion and had damned near gotten his teeth knocked down his throat instead.
All of which meant James was getting his own life back, just as he’d loudly claimed to desire more than anything else. It was kind of funny then that he felt just the tiniest bit lost. He still had Aunie’s problems to straighten out, of course, but that was quite a bit different. For one thing, she neither wanted nor expected him to take charge. She did everything in her power, in fact, to see that he didn’t assume control. Her friggin’ independence could be a real thorn in the side for a man who was accustomed to taking command at the first whiff of trouble.
The front door opened. Well, speak of the devil. James watched her over his beer bottle as she backed through the door and then bumped it closed behind her with her hip. She maneuvred the unwieldy laundry basket through the archway and crossed over to the couch, turning the basket on its side and spilling clean clothes all over James and the couch.
“Half of this stuff’s yours,” she informed him. “So you can help fold it.”
James raised one eyebrow. “I just love a domineering woman.”
“Yeah?” She picked out one of the bandannas she used as sweatbands at the gym and whipped it into a rope. Jumping onto his lap, straddling him with her legs, she quickly secured his wrists in the homemade bondage. She removed the bottle of beer from his hand, twisted around to set it on the coffee table, sat back, and grinned at him. “Hah! I’ve got you in my power now, Yankee dog, so you had better show me a little respect.”
“ ’Zat right? Now that you’ve got me, what, exactly, are you gonna do with me?”
She gave him an evil grin. “Turn you into my sex slave.”
“You’re dressed all wrong for this, Magnolia. Where’s the black leather?”
“Well … I’ve got a pair of spike-heeled black leather boots. Will that do?”
The seriousness with which she considered the matter made him laugh. “You got a whip, too? Leather bra with the nipples cut out? A spiked dog collar, perhaps?”
“I don’t need all that stuff. I’ve got a garter belt, my boots, and … imagination!” Then she regarded him sourly. “How come you know so much about this, anyway?”
“Occasionally, my taste in movies is very lowbrow.”
“Dirty movies?” Her eyes were huge as she leaned back and regarded him with fascination. “Really? Ooh, you dirty old man. Do you wear a raincoat and go to one of those sleazy theaters on First Avenue?”
James laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you, baby, but I rent ‘em from a neighborhood video store and watch ‘em on the VCR.”
“Well, the next time you get one, I wanna watch it, too, okay? I’ve never seen one.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, sure.” He’d have to pick out something fairly tame or she’d be shocked right down to her little pink toenails.
“When? Tomorrow?”
The three creases in his cheek deepened as he grinned at her. Whoever would have guessed that his well-bred little darlin’ would have a secret hankering to see a blue movie? “One of these days,” he promised Then he remembered what Mary had said. “Aunie?”
She was grinning to herself over the prospect of seeing one of those movies, but his serious tone brought her head up. “Yeah?”
“Will you go out with me Saturday night?”
“Out where?”
“Out to dinner, dancing … I don’t know. Wherever you want. On a date.”
The smile that lighted her face was like the dawn breaking. “Really?”
“Yeah. We’ve never dated.”
“I know.”
“So, will you?”
“Oh, Jimmy,” she said and raised his bound wrists over her head until his arms were around her. She wound her own arms around his neck and pressed her face into the side of his throat “I would really, really like that.”
CHAPTER 16
Wesley sat in his beautifully appointed, sterilely clean living room, staring deep into his snifter of fine brandy and brooding. That goddam bitch. She’d ruined his entire life.
He’d given her everything. She’d been nothing but a poor, shirttail relation when he’d first met her. From a good family, certainly, and beautiful beyond belief… but still a virtual social nothing. He’d showered her with riches, given her standing, bestowed his prestige upon her. And for what?
So she could turn around and try to destroy his good name with her lies and her sluttish behavior.
He’d had to do everything for her; the tramp never had possessed an ounce of discernment. It wasn’t as if he’d asked her to do anything that would tax her mind; all he’d ever expected her to be was a worthy adornment. Hadn’t he supplied her with the benefit of his excellent taste by choosing her wardrobe? Hadn’t he counseled her on who was important and who was not? And what had he asked in return? Merely that she be a credit to him.
His eyes burned with a fever that was becoming increasingly familiar to those in his social and business circles. She’d turned him into a laughingstock. First by attending that third-rate college instead of keeping herself available to decorate his lavish functions as a proper wife should, then by openly running around with another man. Wesley hadn’t missed the speculative glances that were cast his way, and he knew exactly where to cast the blame. She was his wife; yet instead of being a credit to him, her behavior had ultimately resulted in a public display in court.
Well, she wasn’t going to get away with it. No one made a fool of Wesley Cunningham. Not without serious retribution.
Hers was just around the corner.
The perfect summerlike weather had broken, but even though it was grey and overcast, it was still unusually warm. Aunie and Mary shared a lunch on the shady grass plaza outside the Performance Hall.
“So, anyway,” Mary was saying, “he says to me, ‘Hi, I’m Lance Cameron LaRue’—do you believe that name? …”
Aunie was only half listening. Her hand kept creeping to the back of her neck and finally she craned her head around. The short hairs on her nape were standing straight up. Was someone staring at her? She scanned the faces nearby, then those further afield, but she didn’t make eye contact with anyone who seemed inordinately interested in her. She turned back to Mary.
“I feel like I’m being watched,” she murmured, breaking into Mary’s conversation, and her friend’s head snapped up. “Wait a second and then take a look around. See if you can spot anyone, will you?” She paused a beat and then gave Mary a crooked smile. “Lance LaRue?”
Mary laughed. “Yeah. Sounds like the hero of a Western novel, doesn’t it? He had a personality to match. The guy seemed to assume I’d fall into his arms.” Casually, she glanced beyond Aunie’s shoulder, scanning the plaza. She took her time, eyes moving slowly from face to face. Finally, she returned her attention to Aunie. “I don’t see anyone.”
Aunie’s pent-up breath was expelled in a sigh. “I’m probably imagining things.”
“Still,” Mary said.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Still.” She thought a moment. “Lola is picking me up today,” she finally said. “We’re supposed to go shopping for nursery goodies. I think I’d better give her a call and tell her to implement plan REI.”
“Oh, wait, don’t tell me,” Mary murmured. “Something dreamed up by the crusading cartoonist, right?”
“You got it.”
One corner of Mary’s lips quirked up in a wry smile. “This I gotta hear.”
Aunie and Mary met after their last class. They walked together as far as the southwest corner of the reservoir where Mary turned left to retrieve her car. Aunie turned right, crossed the street, walked to the middle of the block, and entered Recreational Equipment Inc. through its main doors.
REI was to Seattle sportsmen and outdoor enthusiasts what Cartier’s was to a serious jewel fancier. Aunie had been fascinated by the place ever since the first time J
ames had walked her through it while he laid out operation REI.
She couldn’t pinpoint why the store interested her, exactly. It wasn’t as if she’d ever been camping or had participated in any sports except tennis and, back in her school days, a little field hockey. Until her divorce, she hadn’t owned a shoe that didn’t boast at least a three-inch heel, and she was accustomed to navigating the pavements of cosmopolitan cultural centers, not hiking through the hills or shooting the rapids.
Perhaps that was the very reason she found this Mecca for the great outdoorsman so interesting.
It catered to just about every interest group, from backpackers to kayakers. It was housed in a big, rambling building, with ramps to here, stairs leading there. Down in the basement was a bargain outlet incongruously labeled The Attic, and the salespeople in each department seemed to her extremely knowledgeble. They sold sports equipment, clothing, dried foods, and accessories for just about every nature-related hobby known to man.
Aunie meandered through the various departments. Upstairs, she hung over a case filled with Swiss Army knives; she admired the naturist artwork hung in the stairwells; she listened to a customer and a salesman discussing rappelling. Then, at 3:12 P.M., she wandered down the ramp to the men’s clothing section.
Fingering a rack of bright Gortex jackets, she kept an eye on the ramp, watching for a tail. One minute passed, then two, and no one appeared except one young man in a plaid flannel shirt who only walked halfway down before he suddenly snapped his fingers as if he’d just remembered something, pivoted on his heel, and retraced his steps. Aunie slipped through another department past a lone cash register, and exited onto Pike Street at exactly 3:15. Lola pulled up to the curb and Aunie climbed in the car. It immediately shot out into the traffic before she even had her door closed. She twisted around to watch the door she’d exited.
“Did you see anyone followin’ you, woo-mon?” Aunie turned back to a normal seated position as soon as they turned a corner. “No,” she murmured. She glanced at Lola. “All those damn self-defense lessons and Jimmy’s little quizzes must be affecting my mind. I probably imagined the whole thing.”
Present Danger Page 26