by Mya O'Malley
Driving home, Annie didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Not to Sam, not to Aaron, no one. Tears fell from her eyes. She had blown it. There was no talking to him now, she knew it was of no use. Shane was the kind of guy who was headstrong. Once he made up his mind about something, that was it. Feeling lower than she ever had, even going through her divorce, Annie realized she should have trusted him, she should have taken him at his word. “Should have” was a depressing thought. It meant that an opportunity had passed and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing, that is, except learn from her experience.
Her cell rang and her heart nearly leaped out of her chest. Thinking it was Shane, she grabbed it with a last thread of hope. No such luck, it was Sam. Sadly, she hit ignore, not feeling up to talking right now. She didn’t want to talk to anyone unless it was Shane. Her stomach hurt, her heart hurt. She felt broken. The feeling that she had about Shane from the beginning had been spot on; it was love at first sight, it was fate, it was meant to be. She knew this because this heartache she was experiencing was nothing like it felt when she and Greg had separated. Although it was painful and disappointing with Greg, it wasn’t meant to be. With Shane it was a whole different feeling, it felt like she lost her best friend and boyfriend all in one shot. Wiping another tear from her eye, she sobbed.
Pulling over to the side of the road, Annie decided that she had one last card to play. One more text to send. Typing out the text, her heart ached. If this didn’t work, then nothing would. It was more of a letter, she supposed, than a text.
Shane, When I first met you, I knew it was different, I knew it was meant to be. I felt it right from the start. The way we kept bumping into each other, the way we kissed in the bathroom. We laughed together, we had fun together. Do you remember how Tiny stared at us when we argued and then kissed at the vet? I’m a jerk. Nothing else can be said. I should have believed you about that nasty woman whose name I won’t even speak aloud. In my heart, I did believe you. I’m just way too stubborn for my own good. I’ve been hurt before, and I swore I’d never let anyone hurt me again. My guard was up, you see, but it was up too high and I’m sorry that it took this to make me realize it. Aaron is a friend, we’ve never been together, he’s just a friend. You see, I think you have trust issues, too. I know you’ve been hurt and I’ve waited for you to trust me enough to share what happened to you. I’m still waiting. My heart belongs to you. Trust me, I’ll never let you down, I won’t hurt you. I miss you already. Annie
There. That should do it. If that didn’t make Shane see how serious she felt about him, then nothing would. A feeling of release came over Annie. It felt good to let go of her pent up emotions. It was settled, she would wait for a response and if one didn’t come, she would hold her head high and live her life without him.
* * * *
Later that night, lying in bed, it was clear what needed to be done. She had to get on with her life without Shane. There was no response from Shane, nothing, zip. Honestly, Annie was surprised. She thought she knew him better. Where was this cold, unfeeling Shane coming from? Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. Her heart was aching, her entire body hurt with a heaviness she had never experienced. Crying herself to sleep, she woke every hour or so and cried herself back to sleep all over again. Checking her cell every time she woke, she experienced raw disappointment again and again. In a weak moment, around two o’clock a.m., she even called his cell one last time. It went right to voice mail; he was ignoring her.
* * * *
Somehow she made it through to morning. She probably slept no more than two hours total. It wasn’t going to be a good day, no matter what. What else could Annie do but try to get through it? Cleo bounded into the room and jumped up on the bed, rubbing against Annie and purring. Petting him, she dried her tears and made her way to the kitchen, clutching her cat like a lifeline.
Hearing her cell ringing from the bedroom, she ran back to grab it. Could it possibly be him? No, it was Sam again. Time to face the music. Picking up her cell, Annie answered.
“Hey.”
“Okay, I’m going to kill you! I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday! What happened with Shane?” Desperate for news about her friend, Sam was all ears.
“Nothing happened. He doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
“Oh, come on! I think this is a case of two headstrong people being stubborn.”
Annie explained everything, from the visit to Shane’s house, to the long text, to the late night phone call. “You see, he doesn’t want me anymore.” Tears flowed freely as Annie couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Wow, I have to say that I’m surprised he didn’t react to your text at all.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Maybe he didn’t get it?”
“Please! He still ignored my call in the middle of the night, his message is coming across loud and clear.”
“I suppose so. I’m sorry, honey, I am.”
“Can we please just talk about something else?”
“Can I just ask you a question? Is everything with Aaron really as it seems?”
Annie couldn’t believe what she was hearing! Sam was her best friend, well, her other best friend. She knew that neither Annie nor Aaron had any feelings for each other.
“Sam, come on! Of course I don’t have feelings for him! I can’t believe that you would even ask!” She was irritated by this line of questioning.
“Okay, does he have feelings for you? I mean, your relationship is kind of strange. Tell me that he didn’t try anything the other night.”
Was this some kind of joke? She was getting so upset with Sam, she was in no mood for this.
“Sam, don’t you think I would have told you if he tried something?”
“It’s just that you’re such a pretty woman, he’s definitely a cute guy, you guys met on a dating site…”
“And? Where are you going with this? Are you saying that I’m lying? Or that I don’t know my own feelings?” Annie felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her world was crashing in around her.
“I’m not saying anything of the kind. What I’m saying is that it’s a unique situation, one that I could understand someone having some jealous feelings over, especially since you met Aaron around the same time that you met Shane.”
This gave Annie a pause. “But, I explained to Shane…I said I was sorry. What do you expect me to do, tell Aaron that I can’t be friends with him? And what about Shane? Isn’t it strange that a woman he barely knows has gone psycho and won’t leave us alone?”
“See, there you go again! Don’t you see, it’s not about Lori, it’s not about Aaron. It’s about the both of you and your lack of trust in one another. Without it, you have nothing.”
Annie considered this information and shook her head. “So what you‘re saying is, Lori is just a symptom of a problem? That Aaron isn’t the issue, but that Shane has unresolved problems from the past?”
“Exactly.”
Annie picked at her fingers. “Okay, so then, tell me, what should I do? I’ve already gone to his house, texted him and called him.”
“You don’t do anything. You leave him alone to figure out just what we have figured out right now. It will come, and if it doesn’t, well, then it’s not meant to be.”
Defeated, somehow this new information didn’t make her feel any better. She wasn’t any good at waiting around, and just thinking about Shane was killing her.
“I have to go.Terry and I are going to the store. Are you going to be okay?’ Sam was concerned for her friend.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” What else could she say?
“You know something, Annie?”
“What is it?”
“I never met this Aaron guy. Do you think that’s ever going to happen?”
It was odd that the two had never crossed paths, being that they were her closest friends.
“Yes, I would like that. I think you’ll like him.”
“If he�
�s a friend of yours, I’m sure I will.”
“Thanks, Sam. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty- Six
Shane had always considered coaching some type of sport to fill up his time and add some extra income to his salary. After considering applying for the position, he told himself that Tiny would be fine. He lived close enough to school to run home and feed him, let him out. The positions for all of the spring teams were already filled, but the track coach informed Shane that he could always use some extra help as an assistant coach. That idea was sounding better and better all the time. Spring was in the air and Shane’s mood was just not lifting. It made him so disappointed in the idea of love, in Annie, to realize that people were just not who they appeared to be. Why couldn’t she have come right out and told him from the beginning that she liked him, but that she also liked Aaron? Wouldn’t that have been the honest thing to do?
Recalling that day when Annie had come by the house still hurt. Being tempted to believe her lies, he had almost acquiesced to her charms. She was like a beautiful, sad siren drawing him in; he had been so close, so close, but his pride kicked in as memories of Jana and her “friend” reminded him that women could lie and that their “friends” were never just friends. He was glad that he didn’t get a new cell phone until days later, when things had calmed down a bit; this way he wouldn’t be tempted to call her. Not that he wasn’t tempted now. He thought about her every single day. He even dreamt about Annie. In his dreams, sometimes they were together, sometimes she broke his heart, sometimes she morphed into Jana. There was nothing he could do about Annie except hope that time would make it hurt a little bit less. Having shared the short version of events with his sister a few days ago, Shane pondered her advice. She reminded her brother how happy he had been with Annie, but she also told him he had some Jana issues that he had never gotten over. Jennifer’s words weren’t lost on him, but he also needed to exercise a little common sense. It was his life, after all, not Jennifer’s.
The knock on the door startled Shane, causing him to jump. He had a pile of homework and quizzes that needed his attention on the table before him. He had been lost in his thoughts, something that was happening a lot to him lately. It must be Kevin and the kids. Kevin had been after him to let Kevin Jr. and Jack come over to play with Tiny. Shane enjoyed spending time with the boys and secretly wished for his own family one day.
“Hey, hey, who do we have here?” Ruffling the hair on the older boy, Kevin Jr., he led them into the house.
“Hey, Jack! Ready to play with Tiny?” Jack laughed. With his blond hair and fair complexion, he was the spitting image of his dad. Kevin Jr., on the other hand, had dark hair and brown eyes like his mom.
“I love horsey!” Jack screamed. “Take a ride on horsey.” Running after the dog, Kevin chased after his son.
“Whoa. We are not riding the dog!” Laughing he scooped Jack up in his arms.
“How you doing, man? I mean, since the whole, well, you know…” Kevin inquired.
Shane brushed his hand away, dismissing the thought.
“Who would like some cookies?” Shane announced, trying to change the subject.
Screams were heard as the boys ran into the kitchen, Tiny close on their heels, loving every minute of this. Shane handed out chocolate chip cookies that he kept in the house just for the boys. Tiny stared at Shane, big brown eyes longing for his own treat.
“Of course I wouldn’t forget about your cookie, Tiny.” He tossed a dog treat in the air. The boys watched as Tiny ran to grab the treat.
“How about we head outside, let the boys run around for a bit.” Shane suggested, knowing that Tiny would love a chance to romp around the yard as well.
Heading outside, Kevin and Shane stood watching the boys run around, chasing Tiny.
“Hey, if you ever get sick of Tiny, we’d love to take him in.” Kevin joked, but he had offered to watch the dog if Shane ever went away on vacation.
Watching the boys interact with Tiny, Shane sighed. “Yeah, yeah. You’re a lucky guy, you know.”
“I know. The boys mean everything to me. I know things didn’t work out with their mom, but I have no regrets. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could.”
“When does it start to get better?” Shane spoke his thoughts aloud.
“What?”
“The heartbreak, losing someone that you thought you were meant to be with.”
Kevin contemplated his friend’s words. It wasn’t like Shane to open up and talk about his private feelings.
“Oh. Honestly, it doesn’t ever go away. It gets better with time, especially if you meet someone else to make you forget, although that hasn’t happened to this guy yet.”
Shaking his head, kicking at a rock on the ground, Shane was adamant. “Oh, believe me, it won’t happen to this guy, either.”
“You know, Shane. I told you before, sometimes men and women can be friends, it does happen. Are you sure you weren’t too harsh with this Annie woman?”
“No, you’re wrong. It doesn’t work that way. I’ve seen it happen too many times. I can’t go through that again, it would kill me.”
“Pardon me for saying, man, but it’s killing you now. Come on, you’ve dated several women since Jana, and I’ve never seen you so down.”
Shane’s eyes locked directly on his friend. “I do not want to talk about Jana, do you hear?”
Shaking his head, Kevin risked upsetting his friend even more. “Is this actually about Jana? Or is it your pride?”
Kevin Jr. flew by with Tiny barking at his side. “Daddy, come play!” Kevin dared a look at Shane, who was now turning red. Something had hit a nerve. Shane opened his mouth to speak, but just then, Kevin joined the boys, running through the yard.
Shane was left alone with his own nagging thoughts. Did Kevin have a point? Who had made Kevin the authority on love? No offense, but the man wasn’t exactly in the best position to talk about relationships. Knowing he was a stubborn fool, Shane couldn’t wrap his head around his friend’s advice. He supposed he wasn’t ready to hear anyone’s input at this point.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
One Month Later
Standing watching the students practice their drills, he went over and prompted James, a senior at the high school, to jump higher, to run faster. Glad that he had taken on this assistant coaching position, Shane lost himself in the job. It took up a lot of his free time, several days after school and all of his Saturdays. The drawback was that one of the students he coached was none other than that man Billy’s nephew. Billy was Lori’s boyfriend and unfortunately Billy and Lori came to watch Steven compete in all of the track events. Billy didn’t even look his way; it was as if Shane wasn’t even visible. At first it was awkward, but miracles did exist, as Lori kept quiet and minded her own business. He supposed his threats of a restraining order finally did it. There were no more calls or texts from the woman and he was glad. He was, however growing tired of seeing her at school events; it just made him feel angry and tired. Unfortunately, her behavior had caused irreparable damage in his relationship with Annie. Well, Annie had a rather large role in their break-up as well.
Truth be told, Shane was getting tired of all the reminders he faced on a daily basis of his relationship with Annie. He had to see her car at the vet’s office each time he went to the deli near by. He figured he should probably find a new veterinarian sometime soon. Thinking he had time before the dog’s next check-up, he put that one on the back burner. Finding himself driving past her apartment complex, but never having the courage to pull in, he was beside himself. Kevin was right, his feelings did not go away, but he had found ways to take his mind off of the woman with work and coaching. Another woman was out of the question. He had no desire to look into another woman’s eyes and see Annie. Recalling his trip to the Corner Diner, he shuddered just thinking about his close run in with Annie.
He had pulled up to the door, inten
ding to meet Kevin for a quick lunch when he saw Annie and Aaron. They appeared happy together. He had even guided Annie to the door with his hand on her shoulder. They certainly seemed like the happy couple to him. Shrinking in his seat, he texted Kevin with a change in venue.
The old wound had reopened, more painful than before, and Shane was glad he had trusted his instincts when it came to Aaron. Aaron, with his brown hair and his quick grin. The guy was good-looking, better looking than Shane had thought from the quick glance in the car that day so long ago. Either Annie was in denial about Aaron, or she was a good liar. An extremely good liar. Yes, he was finished with the idea of serious relationships for good.
June was here and school was almost finished for the year. This meant that Shane would have nothing but time on his hands this summer. He tried to conjure up some project that needed attention around the house, but he had already completed all major projects the summer before. He would figure out something to do with his time. Right now, however, he did have a lot of work to do; final grades were due as report cards were going out within a couple of weeks. His lesson plans were also due this week. It seemed every time he thought he was caught up at work, something else was due. Right now he was just looking for things to occupy his mind; he should be relieved.
He headed home and figured he would ask Kevin if he wanted to grab some dinner later, maybe head over to Ronnie’s. Ronnie’s usually drew in a pretty good crowd on a Saturday night. Upon coming home, the first thing he did was check his e-mail. That was odd, it was a message from his boss, Mrs. Taylor. The subject line grabbed his attention: Thinking of teaching abroad? Now his curiosity was piqued. He leaned over and began reading the message. It was a forwarded message originally sent over from central office; Mrs. Taylor had forwarded the message to the entire staff.
Looking for qualified, experienced teachers to teach abroad for one school year: Areas of particular interest include :