by Beth Andrews
“That’s not going to happen.”
She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, as you’re no quitter and don’t respond to being bullied.” She lowered her voice. “But, as much as I like Kelsey, I don’t think it’s very smart for you to get involved with her. At least not until Dillon is cleared.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got everything under control.”
Besides, Allie’s advice came too late. He and Kelsey were already involved. Whether Kelsey admitted it or not.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JACK WASN’T LEAVING. Not on his own, anyway. And unfortunately, Kelsey wasn’t strong enough to put him in a headlock and drag him to the door.
She walked into the bar and, as she’d done for the past half hour, studiously ignored him. He didn’t seem to mind, just continued stacking chairs onto tables for them to sweep and mop the floor in the morning.He was only helping clean so Allie would be done sooner and leave.
“I’m done,” Allie said, putting on her jacket. “And not a moment too soon. I’m beginning to suffocate from all the tension in here.”
Jack looked up. “I’ll walk you out.”
“I’m parked out front—”
“Then I won’t have far to go.” He took Allie’s elbow, glanced at Kelsey. “I’ll be right back.”
That’s what she was afraid of. As soon as the door shut behind him, Kelsey raced over and defiantly flipped the dead bolt, grinning at the loud click it made as it locked.
Releasing a long breath, she headed down the hall to the small stock room. Usually she would wait until the next day to restock the liquor, but she was too keyed up to go to bed.
After finding an empty wine crate and filling it with what she needed, she used her hip to push the door closed, walked back into the bar, and almost dropped the bottles on the floor.
Jack—of the catlike reflexes—grabbed the box from her. “I’ve got it,” he said as he took the heavy crate and set it on the bar.
“Isn’t breaking and entering high up on your list of no-no’s?”
“Allie loaned me the key.”
“That traitor,” she mumbled. “So much for sisterhood.”
“I never would’ve pegged you as a coward, Kelsey.”
She stepped behind the bar and lifted a bottle of vodka out of the crate. “Look, it’s late and I’m tired, so just…say what you have to say.”
“Fair enough.” He leaned against the bar. She could feel his gaze on her as she unloaded bottles and placed them on the shelves. “First of all, I want to thank you for watching Emma the other day.”
Heat suffused her face. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
And it hadn’t been. It hadn’t even been all that bad. The kid was okay company—even if she was a motormouth.
“It was a big deal to Emma,” he said. “She hasn’t stopped talking about it. How you helped her with her spelling and made her dinner.”
Surprised—and okay, maybe a bit pleased—she turned and met his warm gaze. She immediately turned her back to him again. “All I did was recite a few words to her and slap together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
“According to Emma, it was the best sandwich she’s ever had.” She didn’t respond and Jack sighed. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did the other night. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
She cleared her throat but kept her back to him. She needed to say something, but what? You hurt me? Yeah, right. Why didn’t she just hand her heart over to him to stomp on while she was at it?
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice close. Too close. She whirled around and found herself nose to chest with him.
Before she could move away, Jack lifted her onto her toes, pulled her forward until their faces were only inches apart. “I was wrong and that bothers me. But one time with you wasn’t nearly enough,” he said, an edge to his voice, “and I can’t see you without wanting to do this.”
This was a deep, tongue-tangling kiss. Reason faded from her mind as his kiss slowed to something smooth and sweet. She grabbed on to his shoulders. And kissed him back.
Oh, God. She could refuse him nothing.
He suddenly broke the kiss, let go of his hold on her and stepped back. Kelsey fell back on her heels.
She snatched her half-empty bottle of water from under the counter and drained it in three, thirsty gulps.
God, she was so stupid. By sharing her body with him, she’d inadvertently given a piece of herself away.
A piece she desperately wanted back.
“Just go, Jack,” she said, hating the pleading note in her voice. “Leave this be.” Leave her be.
“I can’t,” he said quietly.
“Because you want a repeat performance of the other night,” she said, confused by the warmth in his expression and the tightness of his jaw.
“No, damn it. Because I care about you.”
KELSEY’S FACE DRAINED OF COLOR. Jack’s stomach, along with his ego, took a nosedive. He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited, hoping like hell she believed him, that she trusted him.
“You don’t have to say that.” She edged around him, something pretty damn close to panic in her eyes. “We already had sex.”“I didn’t say it to get laid.” Fighting to keep his voice calm, he followed her out from behind the bar. “I said it because it’s true. I’m sorry about the other night. Making love to you that way…with Emma sleeping upstairs—”
“It never occurred to me,” she blurted. “About Emma. That she could come downstairs and…find us…like that. I wouldn’t want to, you know, freak her out or anything.”
“I know that. But with all that’s going on with the investigation and your brother, you have to admit, it’s not such a stretch for me to think you’d used me.”
His chest tightened when she didn’t deny it or defend herself. Normally he wouldn’t complain about an incredibly hot woman using him solely for sex, but this was different.
She was different.
And though he had the mayor and city council raining threats on him, and his job was on the line, he wasn’t ready to let Kelsey go.
“Even thinking you were using me,” he continued, “I couldn’t stop myself. I lost control and I took it out on you. If you didn’t sleep with me to get me to help your brother—”
“I didn’t.” She tugged both hands through her hair. “God.”
“Then why?”
She opened her mouth only to snap it shut again. Shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.” She turned and walked over to the far end of the pool table.
“It matters to me.”
“You won’t believe me, anyway,” she said, dropping her gaze.
“Kelsey, help me out here. I’m trying. And I’m not saying I don’t have my share of blame in this. I was wrong to react that way, but when you said things worked out better than you thought they would, I jumped to conclusions.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know that now.” Crossing to stand on the opposite side of the pool table, he rolled his shoulders but the tension tightening his muscles remained. “I want to know what’s going on. And if I can, I want to help you.”
She slid the eight ball across the felt top. It hit another ball with a sharp crack. “I really did go over to see if what that reporter said was true.”
“You believed I’d arrest Ward to save my job?” Why was it she had complete faith in her brother and none in him?
“I didn’t want to, but as the night wore on, I kept going over in my head what that reporter said and I realized…”
“Realized what?”
She gripped the edge of the table. “I realized I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“I would.”
“Yeah, I know. I don’t know many people like you, Jack. Honest and honorable. Most men, most cops in your situation, would take what they want and not care about what was right. They’d do what they needed to save their own ass. But you…You’re different.”
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“But you still weren’t sure.”
“No. I wasn’t. Or maybe I was and I needed to reassure myself. I don’t know. At the time, all I knew was that you were in trouble.”
He frowned. “Don’t you mean Dillon was in trouble?”
“That’s what I said.”
“No, you said you thought I was in trouble.”
She blushed. Averted her eyes. “Dillon. I meant Dillon.”
“Kelsey,” he asked, suspicion niggling in his brain, “were you worried about me?”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
He walked around the pool table, stopping directly in front of her. “Did you come over to my house because you were worried about your brother or me?”
She crossed her arms, her mouth set in a stubborn line. “Both.”
“Then why the kiss?” Why did you say those things to me?
She hesitated. “That day here, when we moved tables, when you told me about what happened with that kid after your wife died—”
“You felt sorry for me.” His stomach sank. Pity sex was worse than being used.
Her eyes flashed. “What are you, stupid?”
He pulled his shoulders back. “Hey—”
“You have everything. A beautiful daughter—” she said and jabbed her finger into his chest “—family and friends who love you—” jab, jab “—the respect of an entire town—” long, painful jab “—don’t be an idiot. Of course I didn’t feel sorry for you.”
He eyed her warily and rubbed his chest. “Then why?”
“Because I wanted to be with someone like you,” she said, her voice rising. “For once, I wanted to be with someone who was good and solid and strong. Someone who wasn’t using me. You’re so damn decent, too decent for someone like me. So, no,” she said, her voice now barely a whisper. “I didn’t use you. Or maybe I did, but not how you think. I…I wanted something good in my life. Just once, I wanted something good.”
Jack exhaled heavily and realized the pain in his chest wasn’t caused by Kelsey’s finger. He’d been holding his breath. Holy God, he’d never been so happy to have been so off base before.
He opened his mouth, snapped it shut. Hell, if he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. Her eyes widened when he took both of her hands in his. He supposed it was a small victory she didn’t try to pull away.
“You threw me for a loop that night. To be honest, you’ve been throwing me since the first day I met you.” And why that didn’t make him wash his hands of her, he wasn’t sure. “I don’t know what it is about you that makes me so crazy, but I never meant to hurt you.”
“Well, since we’re having this lovefest and all, I guess I’m sorry, too. For bulldozing you that way the other night.” She tugged on her hands and when he released her, she stepped back. “But none of this matters.”
“What if we want it to change?”
She looked startled and, for a half second, tempted. Then her chin came up. “Your job and my brother’s freedom are on the line. Do you really think hot sex is worth the risk?”
He was afraid what they had was way more than just sex. And that there was way more at risk than just his job. Like his and Emma’s hearts. “My job’s secure.” For the time being. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you considered what will happen, what you’ll do if Ward is guilty of Shannon’s murder?”
She took another step back. “He’s not.”
“You have to at least consider the possibility,” he said gently. “Ward’s changed. He’s not the same person you remember.”
“You don’t understand. I want him to be the same.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I need him to be.”
“Maybe if you told me what happened that night, the night your stepfather was killed, I could understand.” She shook her head. “Trust me, Kelsey. I can help you.”
She wiped at her eyes. “You can’t. You can’t even understand. I’ve watched you—you and Emma and Allie. You’re all so…” She twisted her fingers together and paused as if searching for the right word. “In tune with each other. You and Emma are surrounded by family and friends, people you can count on and turn to. People you can trust.”
“All you had was Dillon.”
“He was the one who went over my spelling words with me, who made sure I was fed and clothed and bathed. He was the one and only person in my life who truly cared about me.”
“I get that, I do.” Once again he reached for her hands. “But, for whatever reason, Dillon isn’t the same kid who taught you to make cookies.”
He was surprised when she linked her fingers through his and squeezed. “I know that.”
Jack rubbed his thumbs over the soft, fragile skin on the backs of her hands. “I know you love your brother, and I know you think you owe him—”
“I do owe him,” she said fiercely. “He saved my life that night. He stopped Glenn from—” She broke off and pressed her lips together.
His stomach churned sickeningly. He already suspected what happened that night but he had to be sure. “What, Kelsey? He stopped your stepfather from hitting you? Beating you?”
She pulled away and hugged her arms around herself, her expression bleak. “He stopped that bastard from raping me.”
KELSEY TURNED AWAY FROM the sympathy in Jack’s eyes. “Now you see why I owe him?”
“Why didn’t Ward’s attorney bring this up in court?”She slowly walked around the table, her fingers trailing the wooden edge. “I told you, he didn’t think the judge would believe me.”
“Why not?”
She stopped. “Because of the number of times I was in trouble with the police. That’s why his attorney didn’t believe me, why a judge wouldn’t believe me. I’m the reason Glenn was in our lives to begin with. He met my mother after he’d picked me up for shoplifting when I was ten. Six months later they were married.”
“None of that is your fault, Kelsey.”
“Yeah, it was. Even knowing that a skipped class would get me a black eye or a smart-ass comeback would get me a split lip, I kept getting into trouble. Kept needing Dillon to protect me, to bail me out again and again.” A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed. “I was the one who pissed Glenn off that night.”
“You are not to blame for what Glenn tried to do to you. You were just a kid.”
His defense of her made the damn lump grow. “But I knew better than to push him.”
“What happened?” This time, his gentle tone didn’t irritate her. Instead, it made her feel safe. And decidedly weepy.
Could she tell him? After she’d told Dillon’s attorney the truth and he hadn’t believed her, she’d never told another soul about that night. Had never wanted to tell anyone.
Until now.
“Glenn played softball a couple times a week with some of his cop buddies.” She spoke hesitantly, unsure of where exactly to begin. “That night he and a few of his teammates were at the house drinking when I came home. I tried to ignore them but Glenn got in my face about my ditching a few classes that day.” She cleared her throat and began circling the pool table again. “I…God, I don’t know why but I just exploded. Told him to kiss ass in front of all his friends. I could actually see him fighting for control, could see him growing more and more enraged, but it didn’t matter. I hated him and I wanted him to be humiliated, to suffer even a little of what we’d had to suffer for the past five years.”
“Let’s sit down and we can—”
“No. I can’t sit.” She felt Jack’s steady gaze on her as she walked around and around the table, but she couldn’t keep still. She had to keep moving. “His friends left and I knew I was going to catch hell, but I was so cocky, I didn’t care. When Glenn came into my room, when he slapped me, I didn’t even flinch.”
“Did you fight back?”
“I wanted to. I wanted to rip him apart. But I learned early on that fighting only made it worse. So I stood
there and took it. He hit me and swore at me and called me names, and I took it. Then I told him to go to hell.”
When she went by him this time, Jack reached out and stopped her with a hand to her arm. “You stood up to him. That was very brave.”
She snorted. “I was an idiot. The words had no sooner left my mouth when the blows changed. Became harder. Faster. He threw me onto my bed and I thought he would leave. That it was over. But he didn’t leave. He straddled me and hit me again and again.”
She stopped, remembering even then how angry she’d been. How, through the pain and the taste of blood in her mouth, she’d held on to her anger.
“As he was hitting me,” she continued, “he kept up the name-calling. Told me he was going to treat me like the whore I was.” Her stomach heaved and she inhaled deeply to stop from vomiting. “But it wasn’t until he laid on top of me, until I felt his erection as he rubbed against me, that I realized what he meant to do.”
And that’s when her anger deserted her and the fear set in.
“Is that when Ward came in?”
She shook her head. “He worked for a local carpentry company during the day and took some classes at the community college a few nights a week. Other nights he bussed tables at an Italian restaurant.”
“Where was your mother?”
“Tending bar. Glenn had retired from the force and started a security business, but it tanked. Money was tight and Leigh preferred working than being home.”
Jack rubbed her arms, his touch soothing. “So it was just you and your stepfather.”
She nodded. “When I realized what Glenn was going to do, I went ballistic, punching and kicking him. I must’ve caught him by surprise because I was able to get past him and into the kitchen. I was almost to the door when he caught me and threw me onto the floor.” She could still feel the sharp sting from Glenn pulling her hair, the explosion of pain when he slammed her head against the filthy floor. She could still smell the rankness of his breath as he loomed over her. “He pinned me down with a hand around my neck while he unzipped his pants with the other hand.”