“She will have to work, when she comes to life,” said Margolotte.
The head of the Patchwork Girl was the most curious part of her. While she waited for her husband to finish making his Powder of Life the woman had found ample time to complete the head as her fancy dictated, and she realized that a good servant’s head must be properly constructed. The hair was of brown yarn and hung down on her neck in several neat braids. Her eyes were two silver suspender-buttons cut from a pair of the Magician’s old trousers, and they were sewed on with black threads, which formed the pupils of the eyes. Margolotte had puzzled over the ears for some time, for these were important if the servant was to hear distinctly, but finally she had made them out of thin plates of gold and attached them in place by means of stitches through tiny holes bored in the metal. Gold is the most common metal in the Land of Oz and is used for many purposes because it is soft and pliable.
The woman had cut a slit for the Patchwork Girl’s mouth and sewn two rows of white pearls in it for teeth, using a strip of scarlet plush for a tongue. This mouth Ojo considered very artistic and lifelike, and Margolotte was pleased when the boy praised it. There were almost too many patches on the face of the girl for her to be considered strictly beautiful, for one cheek was yellow and the other red, her chin blue, her forehead purple and the center, where her nose had been formed and padded, a bright yellow.
“You ought to have had her face all pink,” suggested the boy.
“I suppose so; but I had no pink cloth,” replied the woman. “Still, I cannot see as it matters much, for I wish my Patchwork Girl to be useful rather than ornamental. If I get tired looking at her patched face I can whitewash it.”
“Has she any brains?” asked Ojo.
“No; I forgot all about the brains!” exclaimed the woman. “I am glad you reminded me of them, for it is not too late to supply them, by any means. Until she is brought to life I can do anything I please with this girl. But I must be careful not to give her too much brains, and those she has must be such as are fitted to the station she is to occupy in life. In other words, her brains mustn’t be very good.”
“Wrong,” said Unc Nunkie.
“No; I am sure I am right about that,” returned the woman.
“He means,” explained Ojo, “that unless your servant has good brains she won’t know how to obey you properly, nor do the things you ask her to do.”
“Well, that maybe true,” agreed Margolotte; “but, on the contrary, a servant with too much brains is sure to become independent and high-and-mighty and feel above her work. This is a very delicate task, as I said, and I must take care to give the girl just the right quantity of the right sort of brains. I want her to know just enough, but not too much.”
With this she went to another cupboard which was filled with shelves. All the shelves were lined with blue glass bottles, neatly labeled by the Magician to show what they contained. One whole shelf was marked: “Brain Furniture,” and the bottles on this shelf were labeled as follows: “Obedience,” “Cleverness,” “Judgment,” “Courage,” “Ingenuity,” “Amiability,” “Learning,” “Truth,” “Poesy,” “Self Reliance.”
“Let me see,” said Margolotte; “of those qualities she must have ‘Obedience’ first of all,” and she took down the bottle bearing that label and poured from it upon a dish several grains of the contents. “‘Amiability’ is also good and ‘Truth.’“ She poured into the dish a quantity from each of these bottles. “I think that will do,” she continued, “for the other qualities are not needed in a servant.”
Unc Nunkie, who with Ojo stood beside her, touched the bottle marked “Cleverness.”
“Little,” said he.
“A little ‘Cleverness’? Well, perhaps you are right, sir,” said she, and was about to take down the bottle when the Crooked Magician suddenly called to her excitedly from the fireplace.
“Quick, Margolotte! Come and help me.”
She ran to her husband’s side at once and helped him lift the four kettles from the fire. Their contents had all boiled away, leaving in the bottom of each kettle a few grains of fine white powder. Very carefully the Magician removed this powder, placing it all together in a golden dish, where he mixed it with a golden spoon. When the mixture was complete there was scarcely a handful, all told.
“That,” said Dr. Pipt, in a pleased and triumphant tone, “is the wonderful Powder of Life, which I alone in the world know how to make. It has taken me nearly six years to prepare these precious grains of dust, but the little heap on that dish is worth the price of a kingdom and many a king would give all he has to possess it. When it has become cooled I will place it in a small bottle; but meantime I must watch it carefully, lest a gust of wind blow it away or scatter it.”
Unc Nunkie, Margolotte and the Magician all stood looking at the marvelous Powder, but Ojo was more interested just then in the Patchwork Girl’s brains. Thinking it both unfair and unkind to deprive her of any good qualities that were handy, the boy took down every bottle on the shelf and poured some of the contents in Margolotte’s dish. No one saw him do this, for all were looking at the Powder of Life; but soon the woman remembered what she had been doing, and came back to the cupboard.
“Let’s see,” she remarked; “I was about to give my girl a little ‘Cleverness,’ which is the Doctor’s substitute for ‘Intelligence’ — a quality he has not yet learned how to manufacture.” Taking down the bottle of “Cleverness” she added some of the powder to the heap on the dish. Ojo became a bit uneasy at this, for he had already put quite a lot of the “Cleverness”41 powder in the dish; but he dared not interfere and so he comforted himself with the thought that one cannot have too much cleverness.
Margolotte now carried the dish of brains to the bench. Ripping the seam of the patch on the girl’s forehead, she placed the powder within the head and then sewed up the seam as neatly and securely as before.
“My girl is all ready for your Powder of Life, my dear,” she said to her husband. But the Magician replied:
“This powder must not be used before to-morrow morning; but I think it is now cool enough to be bottled.”
He selected a small gold bottle with a pepper-box top, so that the powder might be sprinkled on any object through the small holes. Very carefully he placed the Powder of Life in the gold bottle and then locked it up in a drawer of his cabinet.
“At last,” said he, rubbing his hands together gleefully, “I have ample leisure for a good talk with my old friend Unc Nunkie. So let us sit down cosily and enjoy ourselves. After stirring those four kettles for six years I am glad to have a little rest.”
“You will have to do most of the talking,” said Ojo, “for Unc is called the Silent One and uses few words.”
“I know; but that renders your uncle a most agreeable companion and gossip,” declared Dr. Pipt. “Most people talk too much, so it is a relief to find one who talks too little.”
Ojo looked at the Magician with much awe and curiosity.
“Don’t you find it very annoying to be so crooked?” he asked.
“No; I am quite proud of my person,” was the reply. “I suppose I am the only Crooked Magician in all the world. Some others are accused of being crooked, but I am the only genuine.”
He was really very crooked and Ojo wondered how he managed to do so many things with such a twisted body. When he sat down upon a crooked chair that had been made to fit him, one knee was under his chin and the other near the small of his back; but he was a cheerful man and his face bore a pleasant and agreeable expression.
“I am not allowed to perform magic, except for my own amusement,” he told his visitors, as he lighted a pipe with a crooked stem and began to smoke. “Too many people were working magic in the Land of Oz, and so our lovely Princess Ozma put a stop to it. I think she was quite right. There were several wicked Witches who caused a lot of trouble; but now they are all out of business and only the great Sorceress, Glinda the Good, is permitted to practice her a
rts, which never harm anybody. The Wizard of Oz, who used to be a humbug and knew no magic at all, has been taking lessons of Glinda, and I’m told he is getting to be a pretty good Wizard; but he is merely the assistant of the great Sorceress. I’ve the right to make a servant girl for my wife, you know, or a Glass Cat to catch our mice — which she refuses to do — but I am forbidden to work magic for others, or to use it as a profession.”
“Magic must be a very interesting study,” said Ojo.
“It truly is,” asserted the Magician. “In my time I’ve performed some magical feats that were worthy the skill of Glinda the Good. For instance, there’s the Powder of Life, and my Liquid of Petrifaction, which is contained in that bottle on the shelf yonder — over the window.”
“What does the Liquid of Petrifaction do?” inquired the boy.
“Turns everything it touches to solid marble. It’s an invention of my own, and I find it very useful. Once two of those dreadful Kalidahs, with bodies like bears and heads like tigers, came here from the forest to attack us; but I sprinkled some of that Liquid on them and instantly they turned to marble. I now use them as ornamental statuary in my garden. This table looks to you like wood, and once it really was wood; but I sprinkled a few drops of the Liquid of Petrifaction on it and now it is marble. It will never break nor wear out.”
“Fine!” said Unc Nunkie, wagging his head and stroking his long gray beard.
“Dear me; what a chatterbox you’re getting to be, Unc,” remarked the Magician, who was pleased with the compliment. But just then there came a scratching at the back door and a shrill voice cried:
“Let me in! Hurry up, can’t you? Let me in!”
Margolotte got up and went to the door.
“Ask like a good cat, then,” she said.
“Mee-ee-ow-w-w! There; does that suit your royal highness?” asked the voice, in scornful accents.
“Yes; that’s proper cat talk,” declared the woman, and opened the door.
At once a cat entered, came to the center of the room and stopped short at the sight of strangers. Ojo and Unc Nunkie both stared at it with wide open eyes, for surely no such curious creature had ever existed before — even in the Land of Oz.
4 The Glass Cat
THE cat was made of glass, so clear and transparent that you could see through it as easily as through a window. In the top of its head, however, was a mass of delicate pink balls which looked like jewels, and it had a heart made of a blood-red ruby. The eyes were two large emeralds, but aside from these colors all the rest of the animal was clear glass, and it had a spun-glass tail that was really beautiful.
“Well, Doc Pipt, do you mean to introduce us, or not?” demanded the cat, in a tone of annoyance. “Seems to me you are forgetting your manners.”
“Excuse me,” returned the Magician. “This is Unc Nunkie, the descendant of the former kings of the Munchkins, before this country became a part of the Land of Oz.”
“He needs a hair-cut,” observed the cat, washing its face.
“True,” replied Unc, with a low chuckle of amusement.
“But he has lived alone in the heart of the forest for many years,” the Magician explained; “and, although that is a barbarous country, there are no barbers there.”
“Who is the dwarf?” asked the cat.
“That is not a dwarf, but a boy,” answered the Magician. “You have never seen a boy before. He is now small because he is young. With more years he will grow big and become as tall as Unc Nunkie.”
“Oh. Is that magic?” the glass animal inquired.
“Yes; but it is Nature’s magic, which is more wonderful than any art known to man. For instance, my magic made you, and made you live; and it was a poor job because you are useless and a bother to me; but I can’t make you grow. You will always be the same size — and the same saucy, inconsiderate Glass Cat, with pink brains and a hard ruby heart.”
“No one can regret more than I the fact that you made me,” asserted the cat, crouching upon the floor and slowly swaying its spun-glass tail from side to side. “Your world is a very uninteresting place. I’ve wandered through your gardens and in the forest until I’m tired of it all, and when I come into the house the conversation of your fat wife and of yourself bores me dreadfully.”
“That is because I gave you different brains from those we ourselves possess — and much too good for a cat,” returned Dr. Pipt.
“Can’t you take ‘em out, then, and replace ‘em with pebbles, so that I won’t feel above my station in life?” asked the cat, pleadingly.
“Perhaps so. I’ll try it, after I’ve brought the Patchwork Girl to life,” he said.
The cat walked up to the bench on which the Patchwork Girl reclined and looked at her attentively.
“Are you going to make that dreadful thing live?” she asked.
The Magician nodded.
“It is intended to be my wife’s servant maid,” he said. “When she is alive she will do all our work and mind the house. But you are not to order her around, Bungle, as you do us. You must treat the Patchwork Girl respectfully.”
“I won’t. I couldn’t respect such a bundle of scraps under any circumstances.”
“If you don’t, there will be more scraps than you will like,” cried Margolotte, angrily.
“Why didn’t you make her pretty to look at?” asked the cat. “You made me pretty — very pretty, indeed — and I love to watch my pink brains roll around when they’re working, and to see my precious red heart beat.” She went to a long mirror, as she said this, and stood before it, looking at herself with an air of much pride. “But that poor patched thing will hate herself, when she’s once alive,” continued the cat. “If I were you I’d use her for a mop, and make another servant that is prettier.”
“You have a perverted taste,” snapped Margolotte, much annoyed at this frank criticism. “I think the Patchwork Girl is beautiful, considering what she’s made of. Even the rainbow hasn’t as many colors, and you must admit that the rainbow is a pretty thing.”
The Glass Cat yawned and stretched herself upon the floor.
“Have your own way,” she said. “I’m sorry for the Patchwork Girl, that’s all.”
Ojo and Unc Nunkie slept that night in the Magician’s house, and the boy was glad to stay because he was anxious to see the Patchwork Girl brought to life. The Glass Cat was also a wonderful creature to little Ojo, who had never seen or known anything of magic before, although he had lived in the Fairyland of Oz ever since he was born. Back there in the woods nothing unusual ever happened. Unc Nunkie, who might have been King of the Munchkins, had not his people united with all the other countries of Oz in acknowledging Ozma as their sole ruler, had retired into this forgotten forest nook with his baby nephew and they had lived all alone there. Only that the neglected garden had failed to grow food for them, they would always have lived in the solitary Blue Forest; but now they had started out to mingle with other people,51 and the first place they came to proved so interesting that Ojo could scarcely sleep a wink all night.
Margolotte was an excellent cook and gave them a fine breakfast. While they were all engaged in eating, the good woman said:
“This is the last meal I shall have to cook for some time, for right after breakfast Dr. Pipt has promised to bring my new servant to life. I shall let her wash the breakfast dishes and sweep and dust the house. What a relief it will be!”
“It will, indeed, relieve you of much drudgery,” said the Magician. “By the way, Margolotte, I thought I saw you getting some brains from the cupboard, while I was busy with my kettles. What qualities have you given your new servant?”
“Only those that an humble servant requires,” she answered. “I do not wish her to feel above her station, as the Glass Cat does. That would make her discontented and unhappy, for of course she must always be a servant.”
Ojo was somewhat disturbed as he listened to this, and the boy began to fear he had done wrong in adding all those differen
t qualities of brains to the lot Margolotte had prepared for the servant. But it was too late now for regret, since all the brains were securely sewn up inside the Patchwork Girl’s head. He might have confessed what he had done and thus allowed Margolotte and her husband to change the brains; but he was afraid of incurring their anger. He believed that Unc had seen him add to the brains, and Unc had not said a word against it; but then, Unc never did say anything unless it was absolutely necessary.
As soon as breakfast was over they all went into the Magician’s big workshop, where the Glass Cat was lying before the mirror and the Patchwork Girl lay limp and lifeless upon the bench.
“Now, then,” said Dr. Pipt, in a brisk tone, “we shall perform one of the greatest feats of magic possible to man, even in this marvelous Land of Oz. In no other country could it be done at all. I think we ought to have a little music while the Patchwork Girl comes to life. It is pleasant to reflect that the first sounds her golden ears will hear will be delicious music.”
As he spoke he went to a phonograph, which was screwed fast to a small table, and wound up the spring of the instrument and adjusted the big gold horn.
“The music my servant will usually hear,” remarked Margolotte, “will be my orders to do her work. But I see no harm in allowing her to listen to this unseen band while she wakens to her first realization of life. My orders will beat the band, afterward.”
The phonograph was now playing a stirring march tune and the Magician unlocked his cabinet and took out the gold bottle containing the Powder of Life.
They all bent over the bench on which the Patchwork Girl reclined. Unc Nunkie and Margolotte stood behind, near the windows, Ojo at one side and the Magician in front, where he would have freedom to sprinkle the powder. The Glass Cat came near, too, curious to watch the important scene.
“All ready?” asked Dr. Pipt.
Complete Works of L. Frank Baum Page 84