What are little humans for?
To feed the giant Bangladore.
Broiled or toasted, baked or roasted,
I smell three or maybe four!
“You hear that?” quavered the Cowardly Lion. Sir Hokus did not answer. His helmet had been jammed down by his fall, and he was tugging it upward with both hands. Frightened though Dorothy was, she ran to the Knight’s assistance.
“Have at you!” cried Sir Hokus as soon as the opening in his helmet was opposite his eyes. “Forward!”
“My heart is beating a retreat,” gulped the Cowardly Lion, but he bounded boldly after Sir Hokus.
“Varlet!” hissed the Knight, and raising his sword gave a mighty slash at the giant’s ankle, which was broad as three tree trunks, while the Cowardly Lion gave a great spring and sank his teeth in the giant’s huge leg.
“Ouch!” roared the giant in a voice that shook every leaf in the forest. “You stop, or I’ll tell my father!” With that, he gave a hop that sent Sir Hokus flying into the treetops, stumbled over a huge rock, and came crashing to the earth, smashing trees like grass blades. At the giant’s first scream, Dorothy shut her eyes and, putting her hands over her ears, had run as far and as fast as she could. At the awful crash, she stopped short, opened her eyes, and stared ‘round giddily.
The giant was flat on his back, but as he was stretched as far as four city blocks, only half of him was visible. The Cowardly Lion still clung to his leg, and he was gurgling and struggling in a way Dorothy could not understand.
She looked around in a panic for the Knight. Just then, Sir Hokus dropped from the branch of a tree.
“Uds daggers!” he puffed, looking ruefully at his sword, which had snapped off at the handle, “‘Tis a pretty rogue!”
“Don’t you think we’d better run?” shiver Dorothy, thinking of the giant’s song.
“Not while I wear these colors!” exclaimed Sir Hokus, proudly touching Dorothy’s hair ribbon, which still adorned his arm. “Come, my good Lion, let us dispatch this braggart and saucy monster.”
“Father!” screamed the giant, making no attempt to move.
“He seems to be frightened, himself,” whispered Dorothy to the Knight. “But whatever is the matter with the Cowardly Lion?”
At that minute, the Cowardly Lion gave a great jerk and began backing with his four feet braced. The piece of giant leg that he had hold of stretched and stretched, and while Sir Hokus and Dorothy stared in amazement, it snapped off and the Cowardly Lion rolled head over paws.
“Taffy!” roared the Cowardly Lion, sitting up and trying to open his jaws, which were firmly stuck together.
“Taffy!” At this, Sir Hokus sprang nimbly on the giant’s leg, ran up his chest, and perched bravely on his peppermint collar.
“Surrender, Knave!” he demanded threateningly. Dorothy, seeing she could do nothing to help the Cowardly Lion, followed. On her way up, she broke off a tiny piece of his coat and found it most delicious chocolate.
“Why, he’s all made of candy!” she cried excitedly.
“Oh, hush!” sobbed the giant, rolling his great sourball eyes. “I’d be eaten in a minute if it were known.”
“You were mighty anxious to eat us a while ago,” said Dorothy, looking longingly at the giant’s coat buttons. They seemed to be large marshmallows.
“Go away!” screamed the giant, shaking so that Dorothy slid into his vest pocket. “No one under forty feet is allowed in this forest!”
Dorothy climbed crossly out of the giant’s pocket. “We didn’t come because we wanted to,” she assured him, wiping the chocolate off her nose.
“Odds bodikins! I cannot fight a great baby like this,” sighed Sir Hokus, dodging just in time a great, sugary tear that had rolled down the giant’s nose. “He’s got to apologize for that song, though.”
“Wait!” cried Dorothy suddenly. “I have an idea. If you set us down on the edge of the forest and give us all your vest buttons for lunch, we won’t tell anyone you’re made of candy. We’ll let you go,” she called loudly, for the giant had begun to sob again.
“Won’t you? Will you?” sniffed the foolish giant.
“Never sing that song again!” commanded the Knight sternly.
“No, Sir,” answered the giant meekly. “Did your dog chew much of my leg, Sir?” Then, before Dorothy or Sir Hokus had time to way a word, they were snatched up in sticky fingers and next minute were dropped with a thump in a large field of daisies.
“Oh!” spluttered Dorothy as the giant made off on his taffy legs. “Oh, we’ve forgotten the Cowardly Lion!” But at that minute, the giant reappeared, and the lion was dropped beside them.
“What’s this? What’s this?” growled the Cowardly Lion, looking around wildly.
“We got him to lift us out of the forest,” explained Dorothy. “Have you swallowed the taffy?” The lion was still dizzy from his ride and only shook his head feebly.
Sir Hokus sighed and sat heavily down on a large rock. “There is no sort of honor, methinks, in overcoming a candy giant,” he observed, looking wistfully at the plume still pinned to Dorothy’s dress. “Ah, had it but been a proper fight!”
“You didn’t know he was candy. I think you were just splendid.” Jumping up, Dorothy fastened the plume in the Knight’s helmet. “And you’re talking just beautifully, more like a Knight every minute,” she added with conviction. Sir Hokus tried not to look pleased.
“Give me a meat enemy! My teeth ache yet! First singing, then candy-leg pulling! Gr-ugh! What next?” growled the Cowardly Lion.
“Why, lunch, if you feel like eating,” said Dorothy, beginning to give out the vest buttons which the giant had obediently ripped off and left for them. They were marshmallows, the size of pie plates, and Dorothy and Sir Hokus found them quite delicious. The Cowardly Lion, however, after a doubtful sniff and sneeze from the powdered sugar, declined and went off to find something more to his taste.
“We had better take some of these along,” said Dorothy when she and Sir Hokus had eaten several. “We may need them later.”
“Everything is yellow, so we must be in the Winkie Country,” announced the Cowardly Lion, who had just returned from his lunch. “There’s a road, too.”
“Mayhap it will take us to the jeweled city of your gracious Queen.” Sir Hokus shaded his eyes and stared curiously at the long lane stretching invitingly ahead of them.
“Well, anyway, we’re out of the forest and Pokes, and maybe we’ll meet someone who will tell us about the Scarecrow. Come on!” cried Dorothy gaily. “I think we’re on the right track this time.”
CHAPTER 12
DOROTHY AND SIR HOKUS COME TO FIX CITY
The afternoon went pleasantly for the three travelers. The road was wide and shady and really seemed a bit familiar. Dorothy rode comfortably on the Cowardly Lion’s back and to pass the time told Sir Hokus all about Oz. He was particularly interested in the Scarecrow.
“Grammercy! He should be knighted!” he exclaimed, slapping his knee, as Dorothy told how the clever straw man had helped outwit the Gnome King when that wicked little rascal had tried to keep them prisoners in his underground kingdom.
“But, go to! Where is the gallant man now?” The Knight sobered quickly. “Mayhap in need of a strong arm! Mayhap at the mercy of some terrible monster!”
“Oh, I hope not!” cried Dorothy, dismayed at so dark a picture. “Why, oh why, did he bother about his family tree?”
“Trust the Scarecrow to take care of himself,” said the Cowardly Lion in a gruff voice. Nevertheless, he quickened his steps. “The sooner we reach the Emerald City, the sooner we’ll know where he is!”
The country through which they were passing was beautiful, but quite deserted. About five o’clock, they came to a clear little stream, and after Dorothy and Sir Hokus had washed their faces and the Cowardly Lion had taken a little plunge, they all felt refreshed. Later they came to a fine pear orchard, and as no one was about they helped themselv
es generously.
The more Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion saw of Sir Hokus, the fonder of him they grew. He was so kind-hearted and so polite.
“He’ll be great company for us back in the Emerald City,” whispered the Cowardly Lion as the Knight went off to get Dorothy a drink from a little spring. “That is, if he forgets this grammercy, bludgeon stuff.”
“I think it sounds lovely,” said Dorothy, “and he’s remembering more of it all the time. But I wonder why there are no people here. I do hope we meet some before night.” But no person did they meet. As it grew darker, Sir Hokus’ armor began to creak in a quite frightful manner. Armor is not meant for walking, and the poor Knight was stiff and tired, but he made no complaint.
“Need oiling, don’t you?” asked the Cowardly Lion, peering anxiously at him through the gloom.
“Joints in my armor a bit rusty,” puffed Sir Hokus, easing one foot and then the other. “Ah, had I my good horse!” He expressively waved a piece of the giant’s button at which he had been nibbling.
“Better climb up behind Dorothy,” advised the Cowardly Lion, but Sir Hokus shook his head, for he knew the lion was tired, too.
“I’ll manage famously. This very night I may find me a steed!”
“How?” asked the lion with a yawn.
“If I sleep beneath these trees, I may have a Knight mare,” chuckled Sir Hokus triumphantly.
“Br-rrr!” roared the Cowardly Lion while Dorothy clapped her hands. But they were not to sleep beneath the trees after all, for a sudden turn in the road brought them right to the gates of another city. They knew it must be a city because a huge, lighted sign hung over the gate.
“Fix City,” read Dorothy. “What a funny name!”
“Maybe they can fix us up,” rumbled the lion, winking at Sir Hokus.
“Perchance we shall hear news of the valiant Scarecrow!” cried the Knight, and limping forward he thumped on the gate with his mailed fist. Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion pressed close behind him and waited impatiently for someone to open the gate.
A bell rang loud back in the town. The next instant, the gates flew open so suddenly that the three adventurers were flung violently on their faces.
“Out upon them!” blustered Sir Hokus, getting up stiffly and running to help Dorothy. “What way is this to welcome strangers?” He pulled the little girl hastily to her feet, then they all ran forward, for the gates were swinging shut again.
It was almost as light as day, for lanterns were everywhere, but strangely enough they seemed to dart about like huge fireflies, and Dorothy ducked involuntarily as a red one bobbed down almost in her face. Then she gasped in real earnest and caught hold of Sir Hokus.
“Uds daggers!” wheezed the Knight. Two large bushes were running down the path, and right in front of Dorothy the larger caught the smaller and began pulling out its leaves.
“Leave off! Leave off!” screamed the little bush.
“That’s what I’m doing,” said the big bush savagely. “There won’t be a leaf on when I get through with you.”
“Unhand him, villain!” cried Sir Hokus, waving his sword at the large bush. The two bushes looked up in surprise, and when they saw Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion and Sir Hokus, they fell into each other’s branches and burst into the most uproarious laughter.
“My dear Magnolia, this is rich! Oh, dear fellow, wait till Sit sees this; he will be convulsed!” Quite forgetting their furious quarrel, the two went rollicking down the path together, stopping every few minutes to look back and laugh at the three strangers.
“Is this usual?” asked Sir Hokus, looking quite dazed.
“I never heard of bushes talking or running around, but I confess I’m a few centuries behind times!”
“Neither did I!” exclaimed Dorothy. “But then — almost anything’s likely to happen in Oz.”
“If these lanterns don’t look out something will happen. I’ll break ‘em to bits,” growled the Cowardly Lion, who had been dodging half a dozen at once.
“How would we look — out?” sniffed one, flying at Dorothy.
“You could light out — or go out,” giggled the little girl.
“We never go out unless we’re put out,” cried another, but as the Cowardly Lion made a few springs, they flew high into the air and began talking indignantly among themselves. By this time, the three had become accustomed to the changing lights.
“I wonder where the people are,” said Dorothy, peering down a wide avenue. “There don’t seem to be any houses. Oh, look!”
Three tables set for dinner with the most appetizing viands were walking jauntily down the street, talking fluent china.
“There must be people!” cried Dorothy.
“One dinner for each of us,” rumbled the Cowardly Lion, licking his chops. “Come on!”
“Perchance they will invite us. If we follow the dinners, we’ll come to the diners,” said Sir Hokus mildly.
“Right — as usual.” The Cowardly Lion looked embarrassed, for he had intended pouncing on the tables without further ceremony.
“Hush! Let’s go quietly. If they hear us, they may run and upset the dishes,” warned Dorothy. So the three walked softly after the dinner tables, their curiosity about the people of Fix growing keener at every step. Several chairs, a sofa and a clothes tree rushed past them, but as Dorothy said later to Ozma, after talking bushes, nothing surprised them. The tables turned the corner at the end of the avenue three abreast, and the sight that greeted Dorothy and her comrades was strange indeed. Down each side of a long street as far as they could see stood rows and rows of people. Each one was in the exact center of a chalked circle, and they were so still that Dorothy thought they must be statues.
But no sooner had the three tables made their appearance than bells began ringing furiously all up and down the street, and dinner tables and chairs came running from every direction. All the inhabitants of Fix City looked alike. They had large, round heads, broad placid faces, double chins, and no waists whatever. Their feet were flat and about three times as long as the longest you have ever seen. The women wore plain Mother Hubbard dresses and straw sailor hats, and the men gingham suits.
While the three friends were observing all this, the tables had been taking their places. One stopped before each Fix, and the chairs, after much bumping and quarreling, placed themselves properly. At a signal from the Fix in the center, the whole company sat down without so much as moving their feet. Dorothy, Sir Hokus and the Cowardly Lion had been too interested to speak, but at this minute a whole flock of the mischievous lanterns clustered over their heads, and at the sudden blare of light the whole street stopped eating and stared.
“Oh!” cried the Fix nearest them, pointing with his fork, “Look at the runabouts!”
“This way, please! This way, please! Don’t bark your shins. Don’t take any more steps than you can help!” boomed an important voice from the middle of the street. So down the center marched the three, feeling — as the Cowardly Lion put it — exactly like a circus.
“Stop! Names, please!” The Fix next to the center put up his knife commandingly. Sir Hokus stepped forward with a bow:
“Princess Dorothy of Oz, the Cowardly Lion of Oz.”
“And Sir Hokus of Pokes,” roared the Lion as the Knight modestly stepped back without announcing himself.
“Sir Pokus of Hoax, Howardly Kion of Boz, and Little Girl Beginning with D,” bellowed the Fix, “meet His Royal Highness, King Fix It, and the noble Fixitives.”
“Little Girl Beginning with D! That’s too long,” complained the King, who, with the exception of his crown, looked like all the rest of them, “I’ll leave out the middle. What do you want, Little With D?”
“My name is Dorothy, and if your Highness could give us some dinner and tell us something about the Scarecrow and — ”
“One thing at a time, please,” said the King reprovingly. “What does Poker want, and Boz? Have they anything to spend?”
“On
ly the night, an’ it please your Gracious Highness,” said Sir Hokus with his best bow.
“It doesn’t please me especially,” said the King, taking a sip of water. “And there! You’ve brought up another question. How do you want to spend it?”
He folded his hands helplessly on the table and looked appealingly at the Fix next to him. “How am I to settle all these questions, Sticken? First they come running around like crazy chairs, and — ”
“You might ring for a settle,” suggested Sticken, looking curiously at Sir Hokus. The King leaned back with a sigh of relief, then touched a bell. There were at least twenty bells set on a high post at his right hand, and all of the Fixes seemed to have similar bell posts.
“He’s talking perfect nonsense,” said Dorothy angrily. The Cowardly Lion began to roll his eyes ominously.
“Let me handle this, my dear. I’m used to Kings,” whispered Sir Hokus. “Most of ‘em talk nonsense. But if he grows wroth, we’ll have all the furniture in the place around our ears. Now just — ”
Bump! Sir Hokus and Dorothy sat down quite suddenly. The settle had arrived and hit them smartly behind the knees. The Cowardly Lion dodged just in time and lay down with a growl beside it.
“Now that you’re settled,” began the King in a resigned voice, “we might try again. What is your motto?”
This took even Sir Hokus by surprise, but before he could answer, the King snapped out:
“Come late and stay early! How’s that?”
“Very good,” said Sir Hokus with a wink at Dorothy.
“Next time, don’t come at all,” mumbled Sticken Plaster, his mouth full of biscuit.
“And you wanted?” the King asked uneasily.
“Dinner for three,” said the Knight promptly and with another bow.
Complete Works of L. Frank Baum Page 206