Complete Works of L. Frank Baum

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Complete Works of L. Frank Baum Page 835

by L. Frank Baum


  August 21, 1904: FARAWAY WORLD IS SWEPT BY A CYCLONE

  For Ten Miles it Leaves Behind a Trail of Ruin. A MONSTER OF THE AIR Special dispatch to The North American from one of the planets of the Little Bear Constellation. (All rights reserved.) August 20. A most peculiar cyclone visited this planet at midnight. The wind, instead of sweeping past the planet, swept down upon it and seemed to turn us out of our orbit. A large number of houses were sunk into the ground by the terrible pressure of air. In some cases houses with weak foundations were sunk into the ground seven and eight feet. The results of the cyclone are to be traced for ten miles in a straight line. The cities of Jalson, Frit and Hamal suffered the greatest amount of damage. Reports from various parts of the planet state that it was not a cyclone but some air monster, which, in passing our planet, came too near. The monster in passing beat the air with its tail and fins so that it caused a rush of atmosphere, giving all the effects of a cyclone. Some of the guardians of the cities claim to have seen it. They say that the monster was as large as a penapoleo or an elephant. Others say that it was twice as large as a penapoleo. Professor Hobblesmack saw the monster through a telescope. He was about to examine it, when the creature hurled a large berry at him. The berry struck his telescope and broke it so that he could not use it until the monster was out of sight. He claims that the creature was as large as the animal known as the horse, which lives on the planet Earth. The berry which the monster hurled at Professor Hobblesmack is found on the plant North Star. A wireless telegram from there states that the monster was attacked by an army of 30,000 soldiers, and that it bewitched the entire army so that it escaped.

  August 22, 1904: HEATHENS BESEECH THE GODS FOR HELP

  One of the Seven Stars Shaken by Aerial Phenomenon. Wireless dispatch to The North American from one of the seven stars of the Dipper. (All rights reserved.) August 21. The gods of our people showed their wrath today by sending a terrible air monster among us. The monster alighted near the cave of the witch on Mount Sheekan, where no man dare go. It could be seen from the city at the foot of the mountain. The people were overcome by fear, and many deserted the city to flee in the opposite direction. The wise men of this planet gave forth a proclamation from the King’s palace saying that the gods of the people had sent this monster as a warning to them in their sins. Great hordes of people took warning and rushed to the temples to expiate to the gods. In a few hours the entire population was praying to the gods and beseeching them to take the thing away. Their words were heard, for before dark the monster arose into the air and departed. It carried something on its back, which, it is thought, the witch of the mountain must have placed there. All the people of this planet are celebrating the departure of the monster. Even the king and wise men are celebrating within the castle.

  August 23, 1904: PLANET URANUS IS SHAKEN TO CENTRE

  Monster as Big as 10,000 Uranians Pays Unwelcome Visit. Planet Uranus special wireless dispatch to The North American. (Copyrighted, 1904, on all planets throughout the universe.) URANUS, August 22. A terrible air monster passed this planet today. The monster approached from the direction of the Dipper and was headed toward the planet Neptune. It was 1000 times as large as one of our citizens. The entire population of all the cities on this side of the planet gathered to see it. The monster appeared, at first, like a small bird, such as live on the planet Earth. As it approached it gradually increased in size until it could be plainly seen. It had a head with sharp, piercing eyes, and a set of very sharp and dangerous-looking horns upon its head. Its tail stuck out in the air like the branch of a tree. Queen Nell XLIII, thinking that the monster was going to land upon our planet, called out the entire army. When the monster saw the army it flapped its wings all the more, making a terrible noise, as if trying to frighten our men. When it saw that we were not frightened it did not land. It was a good thing that it didn’t, as we would have killed it. Upon its back were to be seen some strange-looking objects tied together with rope. One was thought to be a bag of meal, probably for food. The other was big and round, and resembled a foot-ball such as the people on the planet Earth use to start a fight between a lot of men.

  August 24, 1904: NEPTUNE SHOCKED: MONSTER IS THERE

  King Kala Defeated and His Brave Soldiers Killed. Neptune special to The North American. (All rights reserved.) August 23, 10:34 A.M. This planet is about to be destroyed. A terrible monster of the air has alighted upon it and is now fighting our army on a mountain near the city of Budaca. Reports from Budaca state that a large number of our soldiers have been killed, and King Kala, our greatest general, has been forced to withdraw his army. The monster occupied the top of the mountain, which has very smooth sides. From this position it bombarded our men with a terrible shot, which mowed our men down before they were able to approach near enough to use their weapons. It is thought that the monster is aided in the destruction of our troops by some unknown witch. The beast seems able to fight on all sides of the hill at once, and it mowed our men as if they were made of mud. King Kala has summoned aid from all sections of the planet, and it is said that he will beseech the witch of the south to dispel the terrible monster. One hour later The monster has departed. It went away in the air flying like a bird such as inhabit the planet Earth.

  August 25, 1904: SATURN DARKENED: SUN WAS HIDDEN

  Strange Body Passed Between the Planet and Its Luminary. Special wireless dispatch to The North American from the planet Saturn. (Copyrighted on all planets.) SATURN, August 24. This planet has been dark for sixty hours. Not a ray of light has shown upon us, and the people are in great stress. The end of the world is feared. The professors at the colleges state that some foreign body has come between us and the sun. What it is they cannot say, and they even do not know how long it will hide the sun from our planet. Saturn, sixty hours later. The sun is out. A foreign body flying through the air hid it from sight. It is thought to have been a large meteor, and it is directed toward Jupiter. A wireless dispatch has been sent to Jupiter to prepare the people for the end, for if it strikes that planet it will demolish it. Our army was sent to attack and kill the monster and other creatures, but as soon as the army approached the giants got upon the monster’s back and flew away.

  August 25, 1904: GOAT TRIES TO EAT WOGGLE-BUG BUTTON

  Animal Cannot Get Souvenir Down Its Throat, and is Saved by Woman.

  A goat belonging to Mrs. Patrick Murphy, living in the Highlands, attempted to swallow a wogglebug button this afternoon, and caused much excitement in that section of the city known as Forty Acres. But the button did not go down, and a minute later the goat began to turn red in the face. It coughed and spluttered, and straightway started on a rampage about the Highlands. It overset a huckster’s wagon, and the owner took refuge up a tree. Pedestrians sprinted for places of safety, and somebody was preparing to turn in an alarm of fire, when Mrs. Murphy appeared on the scene. She chased the goat for several blocks, calling it a variety of pet names, and finally overtook it. She made a careful examination of the goat, and, ascertaining the trouble, removed the button.

  August 26, 1904: BIRD OR BEAST? ASK PEOPLE OF JUPITER

  Bells Rung to Summon Dwellers to Seek a Monster. Jupiter special wireless dispatch to The North American. (All right reserved.) JUPITER, August 25. The people of this planet were awakened last night by the ringing of all the bells on the planet. The President of the planet had received a wireless dispatch from Saturn warning him of a foreign body moving through the air which would demolish our planet if it struck it. The body was discovered by the aid of telescopes. It was found to be a large bird carrying several people on its back. The bird was very large, and while it might hide the small sun of Saturn, it would not even hide a star from Jupiter. It alighted near the city of Dabin, where, the people say, the objects on its back looked like giants. They were twice as large as our men. One of them had a flat face, with one eye larger than the other, and he never winked. His head and body were stuffed with hay, which protruded through his clothing at
the elbows and knees. Another was joined like a stovepipe, and at his side hung an oil can, as if he had to oil his joints occasionally. Another had a large head, forty inches in diameter. His face was set into a smile, and he smiled all the time. His eyes, nose and mouth were nothing but big holes cut into his head. One of the giants had a terribly large head, which seemed to be very loose. The wind lifted his head from his shoulders and sent it against the straw man. The force of the blow knocked him down and the head landed on top of him. The tin man picked the head up and placed it back on the body of the giant, who continued to laugh. The company enjoyed themselves for a short time and then they departed toward Mars.

  August 27, 1904: FOUR GIANTS RIDE ON BIG BIRD’S BACK

  Winged Creature Big as a Horse Lands on Star. Special wireless telegraph to The North American from one of the Astrepoids. August 26. A large black bird bearing four giants upon its back landed on our planet today. The company did not seem to have any desire to injure our inhabitants, so they were allowed to go. They flew away through the air as they had come. The monster was as large as a horse and had huge wings, with a large set of horns upon its head. The giants were a curious-looking set. One of them was made of tin, and he carried an axe. The first thing he did when he alighted was to oil his joints. He was evidentally afraid he would rust. Another of the giants was not very strong, as he could not stand in the strong wind that swept over the mountain. He seemed to be made of straw, and the wind doubled him up easily.

  August 28, 1904: WANDERING MONSTER KNOWN TO MARTIANS

  It’s the Gump, Carrying Visitors From Land of Oz. Mars special to The North American. (All rights reserved.) August 27. The great bird of the air which has visited a great many planets in the universe arrived here today. We are surprised that the natives of other planets should have been frightened, as it was simply the Gump from the “Land of Oz” bearing his companions, the Tin Woodman, the Scarecrow and Pumpkinhead to the Earth. Of course the natives of other planets are not familiar with the funny things that take place on Earth, and for that reason they were probably frightened. The members of the company were the guests of the King while here. They stated that they were on their way to the United States, where they have an engagement with The North American. They left the “Land of Oz” ten days ago and had many peculiar experiences on their trip. On some of the planets the people were very much frightened, and they were unable to stay longer than an hour, lest the people would become desperate and injure themselves. After luncheon with the King, the little party left for the Earth. They expect to be well read during their stay in the United States, and the adventures which they will experience in that land are to be told in full in The North American every Sunday for many weeks.

  August 28, 1904: WOGGLE-BUG KILLED: CHICKENS NOW SAFE

  The Woggle-Bug has been killed, and owners of chickens breathe freer. For several weeks chickens have been fatally stung on the head. The mystery surrounding the creature caused it to be called the Woggle-Bug. Mrs. George Schockly yesterday killed a large, queer-looking bug in her hennery, although two chickens had been stung before she struck the insect with a paddle. It will be placed on exhibition. No one recalls having seen its like before.

  August 28, 1904: ‘TWAS EXCITING, BUT NOT THE WOGGLE-BUG

  Crowd Witnessed Spectacle With Curiosity That Indicated Great Expectations.

  FLIGHT THROUGH AIR

  Stretched across Arch Street, between Ninth and Tenth, during luncheon hour yesterday, was a heavy wire. Beneath it with upturned faces stood more than 5000 persons. The expressions varied from that of mere curiosity to open-mouthed astonishment. It was plain that something out of the ordinary was in the air, and the wire seemed to have something to do with it. “Dear me,” said one old man, as he tried to make his way through the crowd. “What on earth is the trouble?” “It’s in the air, mister,” screamed an urchin. “The Woggle-Bug’s comin’ in and he’s goin’ to let us have that say of his.” The old man hastily rubbed his spectacles and joined the multitude. “My, my!” he exclaimed. “I’ve heard so much about that Woggle-Bug! So it’s to be here at last!” With that he adjusted his spectacles and set his eyes skyward. It was the difference between fiction and fact. It was not the Woggle-Bug, after all. Press agents, like poets and novelists, have license to utilize the imagination. Norman Jeffries, whom everybody knows, announced that one of his performers, supported solely by one foot and holding by his teeth a woman weighing 150 pounds, would slide down the wire. It was all right; but there was no woman. From a small wheel on the wire hung a strap. Holding the latter in his teeth, he (not Norman) made the slide. “Was that the Woggle-Bug?” asked the old man, whose eyes failed to show him the fleeting figure.

  “What did the Woggle-Bug say?”

  FROM THE LAND OF OZ

  TO THE UNITED STATES

  HERE THEY COME!

  THE SCARECROW AND TIN WOODMAN

  JACK PUMPKINHEAD, THE WOGGLE-BUG

  THE ANIMATED SAWHORSE AND THE GUMP.

  THEY ARE ON THEIR FIRST VACATION AWAY FROM

  THE EMERALD CITY AND THE LAND OF OZ. THEY

  WANT TO ROMP WITH THE CHILDREN OF THE

  UNITED STATES. THE GLAD NEWS COMES TO

  THIS NEWSPAPER AS FOLLOWS:

  PROCLAMATION EXTRAORDINARY

  If you can’t read this, see above. TO: MR. L. FRANK BAUM By Royal Appointment Historian to the Land of Oz At the request of your Highly Esteemed Writeness, I have issued a Decree permitting my beloved subjects, the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, the Woggle-Bug, and Jack Pumpkinhead, to visit the United States of America, in order that they may accumulate a great store of knowledge and experience in your most prosaic country. They are permitted to take with them the Animated Sawhorse and their journey will be made in the flying Gump. They should arrive upon your earth planet withijn a brief space of time, and I trust you will accord them a warm welcome and watch carefully over their interests.

  Given under my Hand and Seal at my Royal Palace in the Emerald City in the Ninth Division of the Second Year of my Reign.

  OZMA Reigning Princess of the fairyland of Oz (Successor to the Wizard of Oz)

  Well, I felt like shouting “Hurrah!” when I got the above letter. These visitors from Oz are fine fellows. They may not be so worldly wise as some of the Americans are, and it is possible their ignorance of our ways and manners may get them in a few scrapes before their return to Princess Ozma. But they are used to adventures, and I have no doubt the Scarecrow and his friends will have a royal good time here. The Woggle- Bug is said to be very wise and quick to discover things, and the Scarecrow has proven more times than one that he can think and think clearly. As for Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman, he allows his kindly nature to direct his actions, and I understand the Pumpkinhead has learned to look to the Tin Woodman to protect him in case he does anything stupid and gets into trouble. I’m glad they brought the animated Sawhorse, for that remarkable creature can always be depended upon to do the right thing at the right time.

  And you will notice they have arrived in the Gump, which is a sort of flying-machine they have made by tying two sofas together and putting a stuffed gump’s head in front for a figurehead. The wings of this curious airship are merely four big palm leaves fastened to the sides of the sofas; and the whole thing has been given life by means of a magic powder such as could exsist in no place but Fairyland.

  Whereabouts in the United States our friends from Oz first landed is a mystery ‹ just at present anyway. Walt McDougall and I (both wearing Magic Caps that render us invisible) are going to follow the Scarecrow’s party wherever they go, so that we can tell about their adventures and make to pictures of them to amuse the readers of this paper. And now that they are safely arrived and have begun to explore America, let us watch and see what happens.

  L. FRANK BAUM, 1904

  ‘Do you see them yet?’ ‘No, but I do see fear and pandemonium on several planets. They’re on the way.’ L. Frank Baum and Walt McDougall watching for
the Queer Visitors from Oz.

  HOW THE ADVENTURERS LOST AND FOUND THEMSELVES

  As day dawned the travelers from the Land of Oz looked over the sides of the Gump, which had been flying steadily all night, and discovered a large group of buildings just beneath them.

  “Stop!” called the Scarecrow to the Gump; “we have doubtless reached our destination. Please land us as gently as possible.”

  So the Gump fluttered down in the center of a large enclosure surrounded by many rows of vacant seats, and the travelers alighted and assisted the Sawhorse to reach the ground. Their first act was to place Jack Pumpkinhead upon the back of the steed, because the poor fellow, being somewhat carelessly made, can ride more safely than he can walk.

  “Where are the United States?” asked Jack, looking around. “I don’t see them anywhere.”

  “Where are the inhabitants of this strange place?” asked the Tin Woodman.

  “Asleep, probably,” returned the Scarecrow. “You mustn’t forget that the unfortunate people who are made of flesh are obliged to sleep at night; and some of them forget to waken at daybreak. At least, that’s what little Dorothy once told me.”

  “Let’s go home,” suggested the Gump, in a gruff voice; “this place is so strange it frightens me. Where are we, anyhow?”

  No one could answer this question, and the Sawhorse shivered and said; “I’m getting nervous myself. Suppose something should happen!”

 

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