The only room left mostly untouched was the bedroom, and it was almost empty save for a few of my clothes resting in innocuous piles on the ground as if nothing untoward had happened there. Everything of Evie’s was gone.
The last of our stash of money was gone too, replaced by the scrubs Evie had stolen from the hospital.
Once I’d seen the damage at the apartment, and the fact that Evie’s clothes were missing, I switched off completely. Losing so much in such a short space of time shattered my mind, leaving me vacant and unaware of what was happening around me. Only one thought echoed in my mind—settling in Detroit was my idea.
My suggestion.
My fault.
Everything that happened since then was my fault. I had done this to us. I’d been the one to hurt Evie again. I had been the cause of Lou’s death. All of it, every heartbreaking event, was my fault.
I couldn’t cope with not knowing where Evie was or how she was, but neither could I risk tracking her in case it put the Rain back on her trail. I had to trust that Dad and Eth had kept their word and were leaving her alone. Regardless, I had nowhere to go but back to them because I didn’t want to be the one to force Dad’s hand. I’d done enough damage to Evie already.
She must fucking hate me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE FIRST HUNT we went on after Detroit, I was nothing more than a liability. I didn’t know what it was we were hunting. Neither did I care. The three of us had traveled to a new hotel room, on a new assignment, somewhere else in the country, but I was too far gone to give a shit where, what, or why. The loss of Evie, following so swiftly after the death of my sister, ripped out my insides and sent me back to the mess I was during my retraining.
I barely ate.
Sleep was impossible.
Every time I tried to even nap, I was woken by the screams that haunted my dreams—whether it was the memory of Lou’s or Evie’s, or some combination of both, I didn’t know.
That was when Dad sent me to Bayview to help with research. Apparently I was too much of a liability on the road.
I was already empty, and after that, I was alone too.
Even at Bayview, I was lost. At night, I drank to try to stave off the dreams. During the day, all I did was open Evie’s file—and on occasion her mother’s—and long for what might’ve been. After a few days, I printed out a photo of Evie from the Hawthorne Hotel security footage Dad had acquired and had taken to carrying it with me at all times.
I’d even listened to a voice recording on her file. It was captured by a Rain sympathizer when Evie was just a little girl and had led to the first, unsuccessful, attack on her. It had taken me so long to build up the courage to ignore the guilt I felt over Evie’s father’s death enough to be able to open the file. When I finally did, I was taken aback.
In the recording, David spoke of his wife and how he’d felt drawn to her from the first moment he’d first seen her. At the very end of the recording, there was a snippet of conversation between him and a little girl, whom I could only assume was Evie. It was just a few murmured words that were impossible to make out, but it tugged at my heart nonetheless.
It didn’t escape my attention that the way David described Emily—the way he spoke with such passion about how much he’d loved her and the pain in his voice as he spoke about losing her—was almost identical to how I felt about Evie. He could have stolen my words verbatim. It made me understand the simple truth that from the very start, Evie and I were doomed to repeat the same pattern as her parents. There were no “once upon a times” or “happily ever afters” for us because we weren’t living in a fairytale.
“Why don’t we go out for a drink or two?”
I glanced up impassively at Ben, who was clearly trying to distract me again.
When I’d first arrived back, he’d ranted and raved about how I was a selfish dick and that Lou had paid the penalty for it. I couldn’t argue with him. Not only because I thought he was right but also because I just didn’t have it in me to fight. Instead, I let him shout until he’d eventually given up and gone away. Since then, he’d calmed a little but wanted me back to the way I had been once before—to put on the mask of a liar and pretend I was okay.
I shook my head but didn’t answer him verbally. I rarely used my voice anymore. What was the point?
What was the point in anything?
“I can’t believe I’m even going to suggest this,” he murmured to himself before pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a slow breath. “Look, this moping around isn’t helping anyone. Why don’t you try to see if you can find her?”
I looked up at him in shock, unable to fathom what he was saying. “What?”
“I’m not saying to run back to her, God knows that’d be the worst thing you could do, but maybe if you can find her, if you can see that she’s safe, it’ll help you to move on.”
“I can’t. Dad would . . .” I didn’t finish my statement because we both knew if Dad learned I was trying to find Evie despite our agreement, he would ensure he found her first.
“He doesn’t have to know.” Ben glanced around. “It can just be between us.”
From the moment he made the suggestion, my life had meaning again. I searched for Evie, flagging the name of every stolen card she had, setting up a search on the facial recognition programs and updating the APB on her with the police. Just as before, I linked up the searches to the database on my phone and then removed all the evidence I could, leaving them to run in the background.
The searches would likely make her life more difficult in the short term, but I had to find out where she was.
I had to know she was safe.
More than that though, I needed to know why she’d left without even looking back or acknowledging me with some sort of farewell.
How she had.
At least when I’d left her in Charlotte, I had said goodbye.
Once I’d taken control of that small element of my existence, I felt life flooding back into me. I shaved for the first time since the morning Evie had left. When I set up the searches, I felt almost certain that I would get an instant hit and would have answers within hours.
By the end of the day, the purpose that had been ignited in me had burned itself out. I went back to the hotel and drank myself into oblivion. The next morning, I felt a renewed sense of hope that it would be the day I’d find out more about Evie’s location, but once more I left late at night after a day of no success. The pattern continued for another couple of days before Ben got sick of looking at me sulking every day and sent me to run some of the results of the Assessors’ research down to The Walls, another Rain base that operated out of Missouri State Penitentiary.
It was a meaningless mission, a time-waster to get me out of his hair for a few days. I had to take extra ID and a police badge to explain away the ammunition and evidence bags—filled with the remnants of creatures and other research findings—I carried with me, but it was still little more than a straight up delivery. A far cry from the missions I’d run with my family. A long way from the noble purpose of saving lives.
It was impossible not to dwell on the fact that I had fallen so far from grace—from an Elite to a glorified messenger boy.
I finished the delivery and had some free time on my hands, but it was getting late. I was in the middle of a debate over whether to find a hotel and stay overnight or just drive back immediately when my cell phone chimed. Out of habit I pulled it from my pocket, ready to disregard whatever bullshit information Eth was sending me about his latest mission. Once I had the cell in my hand, once I saw the message I’d received, I stopped breathing.
Holy crap . . . it’s her.
I had to double check that what I thought I was seeing was actually there. Not one but two of the cards Evie had possessed in the past registered as being used in the same place—Rolla, Missouri.
Of the two hits, one was a cash machine and the other was a motel.
Moments later, wh
ile I was triple-checking the information in front of me, the facial recognition software sent me confirmation of a sighting at the same motel as the card. My hands shook so badly I could barely read the screen, but my heart grew so light that I thought it might float away to find her.
My lips turned up into the unfamiliar shape of a smile as it became likely that I might actually get to see her again soon.
The messages cemented my plan of action. It would take less than an hour to get there, and I figured it was absolutely worth the trip if it could give me some extra knowledge—some further insight into Evie’s reasons for leaving.
If my assumptions were right and she wanted distance between us because she was afraid of my family, at least I would know. I could tell her that I understood, and we could have a proper goodbye. Maybe with some actual closure, I might not feel as though my heart had been put through a crosscut shredder before being forced back into my chest.
Like a madman, I drove straight for the motel, not even allowing a second thought or a moment of doubt to sneak into my mind. When I pulled up in front of the two-story building, I hid the key behind the rearview mirror and climbed from the car. After checking the street in case I was extremely lucky and stumbled across Evie before I had to raise anyone’s suspicions, I headed toward the main office of the motel.
“Excuse me,” I said to the young blonde behind the counter when she didn’t look at me as I entered.
She plastered a fake smile on her face, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, as she greeted me.
I flashed my fake badge at her. “I’m looking for a girl who checked in today.”
“Room number?” The girl started flicking her nails.
“Um, I don’t have one.”
She sighed. “Name?”
I gave the name on the credit card.
After a few minutes of lazy tapping, the girl looked up at me. “Sorry, I don’t have any rooms booked under that name.”
I brushed my hands through my hair. “I need to get in contact with her. It’s a matter of high priority.”
“I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
There was only one way I could guarantee getting any information out of the girl who seemed completely disinterested in helping me find Evie. I pulled out the photo I carried of Evie. “This is the girl. Have you seen her?”
The girl looked at the paper and then shook her head. “‘Fraid not.”
I placed the fake police badge I’d had for the delivery up onto the counter. “She’s wanted for questioning.”
The girl sat up straighter, no doubt interested because of the potential for gossip to share among her friends later. “What’d she do?”
“Does it matter?”
“We have different procedures depending on the type of crime.”
I figured she was lying, but I wanted to speed things up so I rolled out the reality of Evie’s rap sheet, hoping the clerk would want to avoid any danger to herself and her patrons—although with her current apathy, who could know. “Double homicide.”
The girl gasped and then leaned forward with interest twinkling in her eyes. “You really think she might be here?”
My frustration boiled over and I smacked my hand against the counter. “I don’t think she’s here. I know she’s here!” I roared. Instead of helping my cause, selling Evie out only made things harder by giving the girl something to dig deeper about. I should’ve known she’d be more interested in gathering gossip than helping out law enforcement. “And as I’ve explained, she is wanted for questioning in regards to two deaths in Detroit. If you don’t assist in my inquiries, I will have you arrested for aiding and abetting a known fugitive. Do you understand?”
Either my anger or my threat seemed to startle the girl enough that she seemed like she was willing to help.
“Now, let’s try this again,” I seethed, trying but failing to calm myself despite my burning desire to see Evie again. “Could you please just tell me what room she’s in? I’ll make sure to handle her with as little fuss for you as possible. Quick and easy.”
I thought I heard a noise behind me, and worried that maybe another customer had entered without me knowing. When I turned, no one was there. Between seeing and hearing things that didn’t exist, my lack of sleep, and just the general level of stress that Evie’s disappearing act had wrought on my mind and body, I was starting to think I might’ve gone insane but hadn’t fully acknowledged it yet.
Pushing the noise, and my sanity, out of my mind, I passed across my phone with the flagged card alert.
“These are the card details she would have used to book the room.”
I waited impatiently while the girl checked a few things on her computer. I had to restrain myself from sighing in frustration, especially knowing I probably could have found the information in half the time if I’d been granted access to the motel’s database.
“I think I might have found her.”
My heart pounded at her words.
“Follow me.” The girl smiled, clearly relieved when she glanced up at me. I could only assume that the confirmation of Evie being there, and that I would soon be even closer to her, had been enough to shake the anger from my expression.
I followed her out of the office and down the little path that lead to the rooms.
“I apologize, officer, I didn’t actually book her in. That’s why I didn’t recognize her, but I’m certain this is the right room.”
I nodded to let her know it was okay, and all was forgiven. All would be perfect, if only she would lead me to Evie.
“The owner of that card is booked into room 3B.” She moved closer to me. “Is she really wanted for murder?”
“She’s wanted for questioning,” I reminded her.
“Of course, I mean innocent until proven guilty, right?”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I followed the girl as she led me up a flight of stairs toward the room where Evie might be.
With each step, my heart inflated but I tried not to think about what could happen when I walked through the door. I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high. Regardless of the outcome of the meeting, it was unlikely Evie and I would leave together. The best outcome I could hope for was that we didn’t decimate the remnants of our already shattered hearts as we said our final goodbyes.
Once the girl had pushed the master key into the lock, I reached out my hand and stopped her from opening the door. “I’ll handle it from here. Thank you for your cooperation.”
She blinked at me twice, as if I was ruining the one exciting thing that might happen in her lifetime—which I possibly was. Like I cared. Then she nodded. “Of course.”
Holding the door slightly ajar, I waited until the girl was out of sight before pushing open the door, uncertain what might lie beyond.
CHAPTER NINE
MY GAZE FELL on a small bag stuffed full of what I could only assume were Evie’s clothes. The way everything was still packed perfectly inside the backpack, ready to fly at an instant, was enough to prove to me that she was there.
It wasn’t just some stranger’s room—I had actually found her.
The way that simple thought made my chest burst with life told me I was making a mistake even thinking about trying to give her up. I needed her like I needed oxygen. Fuck my father and his rules. If Evie was willing, we’d give it another try. We would just have to run farther and hide better, and I’d have to warn her about the Assessors’ intentions.
“Evie?”
The only response I got was the door clicking shut behind me.
I moved toward the closed bathroom door and knocked on it, calling her name again.
Still, silence was my only companion.
Maybe she isn’t here.
I pushed the doubt out of my head. I was in the right place, which was enough for the moment. Deciding to wait, I sat on the bed, but the absolute stillness drove me crazy, and I figured I would be better off waiting on the balcony. If
nothing else, I’d have a view of the street and the fresh air to keep me somewhat sane—or at least stop me from losing my mind completely.
Once outside, I leaned against the railing and watched the motel entrance in case Evie came back from wherever she’d gone. The sound of a car starting nearby drew my attention. I was certain there had been no one out on the street when I had left the office earlier with the clerk. When I saw someone in my car, I pulled my gun and aimed it at the space, intending to stop the hijack.
If some bastard thinks he’s going to take my car, he’s going to have a fight on his hands.
Another second later and the reality of exactly what I was seeing registered with me. It wasn’t some random stranger in my car.
It was Evie.
She glanced over her shoulder and for a moment, I just stared at her. The balcony overlooked the road, so I was close enough to get a good look. Her skin had a deathly pallor and a bandage was wrapped around her wrist. In the moment that our eyes had met, I saw fear and anger across the distance—or imagined that I did.
“Evie!”
I was about to run to her and explain what had happened when she turned away from me and peeled off down the street in my Lincoln.
She’d seen me. There was no doubt in my mind about that. She’d seen me . . . and run anyway. She had to know I’d traveled out of my way just to find her again, and yet she’d left me.
Did she think I’d hurt her on purpose?
If she did, she had to hate the fact that I kept trying to force my way back into her life over and over again. She didn’t understand though. I was always going to look for her because I wasn’t sure I knew how to live without her. Not anymore.
Among the Debris (Son of Rain #2) Page 9