by Lucy Gordon
She'd refused to commit herself to her love, asking for some kind of guarantee for the future before she did so. But there were no guarantees. There were only risks. But it was love that gave you the courage to take those risks.
She loved Daniel. That was the only certainty. But she'd allowed fear to overcome her, as though fear were more important than love. And because her courage had failed she hadn't been the woman Daniel needed in his hour of crisis.
Brenda had said, 'I hope you marry Phoebe's father soon. You'll be a steadying influence on her.'
Daniel had sometimes blamed her unjustly, but he'd never thrown at her the accusation she now threw at herself: if she'd married him when he'd first asked she could have steered him clear of this disaster. She would have been living with him and Phoebe these last few weeks and then, she was sure, things would never have come to this pass.
He'd begged her to be his wife, out of love but also out of need. Some instinct had told him that she was the woman who could guide him away from the pitfalls. But she'd abandoned him in his need, leaving him to make mistake after mistake, with no one to help him.
Mrs Hallam had known the secret. 'Where one was foolish, the other was wise, and so we helped each other.' It was so simple really.
At last Lee rose, slipped on her dressing gown and went out into the corridor. His room was next to hers. She paused outside his door, her hand uplifted to knock, but after a moment she went in without knocking. She knew he wouldn't be asleep.
He was sitting at the window. He turned as she entered and watched her cautiously, never taking his eyes from her as she approached.
'I came because I had something to tell you,' she said. She stopped. Her heart was beating too fast.
She'd meant to speak the thoughts that had troubled her, perhaps say that she was sorry. But the misery on his face wiped everything else out. What she had to say was far more simple.
'I love you,' she said, and felt his arms go about her in a passion of thankfulness.
For a long time they held each other tightly, in silence. There was nothing more to say. His head found its place against her breast, where she cradled it tenderly. He was hers, for good or ill. He wasn't perfect, but neither was she. And he loved her with a commitment and honesty that Jimmy Meredith would never have understood.
She spared one final, fleeting thought for Jimmy, the malign presence who had almost ruined her life. Then she banished him for ever.
'Come, my love,' she whispered, taking Daniel's hand and leading him to the bed. It was here they would find each other again.
She'd made love to Daniel many times with passion, but tonight her overwhelming emotion was a desire to protect him. She hadn't known before that he needed protecting, but she knew it now, and with every caress, every whispered word, she let him know that she was his, in any way that he needed her.
She, too, sought reassurance in their loving. She wanted to know that after all the bitterness that had passed between them he was still hers, and the promise was given back to her a thousandfold. Once before they'd clung to each other, shocked by their first quarrel. But this wasn't like that time. Then they'd tried to hide from the knowledge of their differences. Now those differences had translated into mutual need, and they were the stronger for it.
They loved each other deeply, intimately. The moonlight coming through the window lit their faces and the smiles of thankfulness that they shared. When at last they nestled against each other he held her tight, as if he would never let her go.
'I know the truth about myself now,' he said sombrely. 'And it isn't pleasant.'
'Daniel-don't.'
'I'm a bully, aren't I?'
'No. It's not like that.'
'I'm a bully and I drove Phoebe away. If she makes a mess of her life it will be my fault. Help me, Lee.'
'Always, darling.'
'Don't go away again where I can't find you.'
'I'll never leave you now.'
'Then perhaps there's hope for me.'
'Go to sleep,' she whispered. 'We have to be up early.'
He was asleep before she'd finished speaking, as though he now had all he needed. His head was heavy against her breast and she stroked his hair lovingly. Whatever tomorrow might bring they had found each other again, and this time she was determined that nothing should drive them apart. Her eyes began to grow heavy as she listened to the soft rhythm of his breathing. Peace. Love. All was well.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lee awoke to the sound of running water and realised that Daniel was showering in the tiny bathroom. She yawned and stretched, feeling strong and well for the first time in weeks.
The telephone rang and she answered it, remembering the early call Daniel had booked. 'Thank you,' she murmured sleepily.
'Daniel Raife, please,' said a cool female voice.
She woke up. 'I'm afraid Daniel isn't available at the moment.'
The woman gave a 'tut' of annoyance. 'He wouldn't be! How familiar this is! Never there when you want him.'
'Excuse me, but who is this?'
'Caroline Jenkins. Ms. He left a message and I'm returning his call. Look, please tell him that I can be reached on this number-three, five, seven-'
'Hold on a moment.'
'Aren't you taking it down?'
'I will when I've got a pencil.' Lee found one and began to write. 'Three, five-'
Caroline Jenkins dictated the number slowly, as if dealing with an idiot. 'Are you sure you've got that?' she asked at last.
'Quite sure,' Lee said crisply.
'You'd better read it back to me. I don't want any mistakes.'
Lee did so, striving not to sound as annoyed as she felt.
'I'll be here for an hour,' Caroline Jenkins informed her. 'After that he can get me at home.'
'Does he know your home number?' 'Of course he does. Don't forget, will you?' She hung up.
Lee stared at the phone until enlightenment finally dawned.
'Good heavens!' she exclaimed. 'Caroline. Phoebe's mother!'
Daniel emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. 'Was that our call?' he asked.
'No, it was Caroline. She said you'd left her a message to call here.'
'She left me a message on my answering machine. I called her back last night but she was out, so I left this number. I suppose I'd better find out what she wants.'
'Then you didn't call her to tell her about this?'
'No.' Daniel gave a wry grimace. 'I suppose I should have done, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. She's never thought much of me as a parent.' He began to dial.
'Shall I leave?'
'Why? So that I can talk privately to a woman I haven't seen in the flesh for over two years? Stay with me, darling. I need you.' He was dialling as he spoke.
'Hello, Caroline? Daniel here. Why did you call me?' A burst of high-pitched talk, like gunfire, came from the receiver. Daniel listened with his face settling into a scowl. 'Hell!' he said at last. 'Yes, of course I've seen it. I didn't know that you… No, I wasn't concealing it, I just didn't think you'd be interested, frankly.'
He put his hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Lee. 'Someone faxed her that magazine piece about Phoebe, and she's foaming at the mouth. Yes…?' He returned his attention to the phone from which more angry sounds were emerging. 'Caroline, there's no need to read it to me. I've read it myself.' He sighed and held out the receiver for Lee to listen. Caroline was going through the piece very slowly, emphasising certain words on a note of outrage.
'How could you let this happen?' she shrieked.
Daniel took a deep breath, and Lee thought he would explode. 'Let it happen?' he demanded at last, through gritted teeth. 'Let it happen? Now you listen to me, Caroline. I didn't "let it happen". It just happened because it had to happen. And you know what? I'm glad of it. I've always been proud of our daughter because she's brainy, but now I'm proud of her because she's beautiful, too. What's more, she's not only brainy and beautifu
l but she's got the guts to make her own life in her own way, and not feebly let us make it for her. And that makes me prouder than anything.' He slammed down the phone.
Lee burst into applause and threw her arms about him. 'My hero!' she exclaimed. 'Oh, Daniel, I'm so glad.'
He kissed her, then said reluctantly, 'I have to be honest. That woman can needle me into saying things I don't really mean. I'm not sure…'
'I don't believe it,' Lee said stubbornly. 'It's when you get good 'n' mad that the truth comes out.'
'Maybe. I'll know what the truth is when I see Phoebe.' He drew her close, but almost immediately the phone shrilled again with their early call.
They took a quick breakfast and hurried out to the car. But at that point things began to go wrong. When Daniel turned the key in the ignition, nothing happened.
'My God! It won't start!' he said in horror.
He tried again and again, and finally got some result. But the car simply made revving noises, declining to spark into life.
'Oh, no!' Lee nearly wept. 'How can this happen?'
'Keep trying,' he said tersely, and leapt from the car.
Lee slid into the driving seat and spent several fruitless, agonising minutes without result. Daniel returned, looking tense.
'I've called a taxi,' he said. 'They promised to get here at once. We might just still make it.'
'I'm sorry,' she said frantically. 'If I hadn't made you stop here last night-'
'We'd have had an accident,' he said quickly. 'You did the right thing. If only that taxi gets here fast.'
But it didn't. It was twenty minutes before it arrived, and then the journey to Gretna seemed to take an age. Daniel fixed his gaze on his watch with terrible intensity, and Lee saw the hope drain out of his face.
'We're too late,' he said at last. "They must have started by now. By the time we get there it will be over.'
When they reached the register office they found a little crowd outside, but no sign of Phoebe or Mark.
They exchanged looks of despair, knowing that this meant the worst.
'They're coming out,' said someone. 'Aren't they a lovely couple?'
Lee and Daniel looked up as the bride and groom emerged. The next moment they gasped.
'It's not them,' Lee said. 'I don't understand. They were booked first.'
She ran inside and found an official. 'Excuse me, was there another wedding before this?'
'No, this is the first one of the day,' he told her.
'But-Phoebe Raife and Mark Kendall…?'
'Oh, them. They put their wedding off until this afternoon. Luckily the next couple had just arrived, so it was easy to change it around.'
'Put it off?' she said, hardly daring to hope. 'Did they say why?'
'Well, they didn't seem exactly the best of friends at the time. The young lady was more than a wee bit cross.'
'Daniel,' Lee called, running out. 'It's all right. They've delayed the wedding until this afternoon. They've had some kind of tiff. If we can only find them first-'
'How?' He asked urgently.
She reached into her bag and pulled out the copy of Woman Of The World with Phoebe on the cover. 'Show people this picture and ask if they've seen her.'
He took the magazine from her. 'You know Gretna. Where would they go?'
For a moment, Lee's mind went blank and then it came back to her. Just before their wedding she and Jimmy had also had a tiff, and she'd run away to be by herself-'Sulking like a baby,' he'd sneered. Barely looking where she was going, she'd taken the little country path to Gretna Green, and found the old Smithy where she'd stood watching the guide explain to a party of tourists how the old marriages had once taken place.
'They clasped hands and claimed each other,' he'd said. 'And the blacksmith struck the anvil and cried, "So be it!'"
She'd brushed back her tears. This was her wedding day. Things were so different from her dream of a romantic elopement. Jimmy had been critical and impatient, and the truth about him had crept into her mind. If her parents had found her then, there would have been no wedding. Instead Jimmy had reached her first, and had been shrewd enough to sweet-talk her enough to get her back to the register office. And her parents had arrived too late…
The smithy,' she said to Daniel now. 'Let's hurry.'
'But we'd have passed her on the road,' he said.
'Not if they took the country lane.'
They got into the car and in a few minutes were in the quiet little village of Gretna Green. Everywhere there were neat, white painted buildings surrounded by greenery and pale grey roads. The whole atmosphere was one of sleepy peacefulness that belied the desperate passion of young lovers and the frantic urgency of parents.
'The smithy's over there,' Lee said, pointing.
Hand in hand they ran across the grass to the long, low building. There was no one outside but they could hear the guide's voice and see a little crowd inside. They entered quietly and at once Daniel stiffened.
'There she is,' he muttered.
Phoebe was standing on the edge of the crowd, watching the little performance with a sad look on her face that Lee understood so well. She wore a dress and matching jacket of pale yellow. A little spray of flowers adorned her hair and she carried a small bouquet of flowers.
'She's alone,' Daniel whispered. 'You were right. We've won.'
She wanted to cry a warning. Not yet! You haven't won yet. If you say the wrong thing now… But it was too late. He could no longer hear her. Phoebe had seen them and turned to come out of the smithy. Her eyes were wary.
'Hello, Daddy,' she said, keeping her distance.
Daniel hesitated. 'I followed you,' he said, 'because-because I have something very important to say. I want you to know…' Almost unconsciously he was raising his hand, the one holding the magazine. 'I wanted to show you this, and to say-how very, very proud of you I am.'
As if by magic the defiance left Phoebe's face. 'Oh, Daddy!' she cried, bursting into tears, and threw herself into his arms. Daniel held her tightly, his eyes closed, giving silent thanks that the right words had come to him at last.
Phoebe released her father and looked at him with shining eyes. 'Are you really proud of me?' she asked eagerly. 'Really and truly?'
'Really and truly,' he promised. 'And look what it says inside.' He opened the magazine at the right page and Phoebe eagerly devoured the words about herself. 'There's something else too,' Daniel said. 'You've got the Linnon contract. Brenda wants you to call her at once.'
He was almost drowned out by Phoebe's squeal of delight. 'I've really got it? Oh, that's wonderful! A phone. I need a phone.'
'There's a hotel over there,' Lee said. 'They'll probably have a phone. Unless,' she added casually, 'you're waiting for Mark to join you here.'
The change that came over Phoebe was almost comical. She looked as if she'd only just remembered Mark's existence. 'No, he doesn't know I'm here. In fact I don't know where he is, either.'
'You can tell us about it over a cup of tea,' Daniel said. 'My poor darling, have you had a bad time?'
'Crawler,' Lee whispered to him.
'Low cunning,' he murmured back. 'Never fails.'
They ordered tea while Phoebe made her call. Daniel's whole being radiated suppressed triumph, and his eyes were tender as he gazed at his daughter. But out of sight he felt for Lee's hand and she could feel his shattering relief.
'Now tell us about Mark,' Daniel said, adding with foolhardy recklessness, 'Are we invited to the wedding?'
'Oh, Daddy! I don't want to marry Mark. I only ran away because-' She met his eyes.
'Because I hassled you?' he asked gently.
Phoebe nodded. 'I must have been crazy,' she admitted. 'Mark's even worse than you.'
'Thank you, darling,' Daniel said meekly.
'Oh, you know what I mean. The car broke down. so we had to hire another one. Mark tried to pay with his credit card only there wasn't enough credit on it because he hadn't returned the
ring, although he'd promised me. So we had an argument about that, and in the end I paid and that made him grumpy. I said there was no need to carry on about it because I had plenty of money now, and he just hated that. He sulked all the rest of the way.'
'Poor Phoebe,' Daniel said, fighting to keep a straight face.
'Honestly, Daddy, he's been the pits. I've decided to give up men altogether.'
'Well, some of them aren't all that bad,' Lee said, refusing to meet Daniel's eye. 'But you won't have time for them just now, with so many other horizons opening to you. Later, perhaps-'
'No, I'm giving them up for good,' Phoebe declared. 'I've got a life plan. I'm going to model for the next few years, maybe until I'm twenty-five. By then I'll be past my best, and I'll have made pots of money, and then I'll go to Oxford.'
'Oxford?' Daniel asked, hardly daring to hope.
'Of course. I always meant to go when I finished my modelling career.' She patted her father's hand kindly. 'I'll be ready for it by then.'
'But-why didn't you say so before?'
'I would have done if you'd given me the chance. But you kept laying down the law and making me cross, and by the time we'd finished bickering I'd forgotten what I wanted to say. But I'll go to Oxford in the end.'
'Only if you want to,' Daniel said quickly. 'It's your life and your choice.'
'Why did you postpone the wedding?' Lee asked.
'We just kept on niggling each other, and it didn't seem right to marry like that. I guess I knew then that we weren't really going through with it. It was like a game, only then it became real, and suddenly I knew I didn't want to.'
Lee nodded silently. It had happened that way with her. But too late.
Daniel looked up. 'Ah! The groom.'
There was a scowl on Mark's face as he approached them. Daniel rose to his feet.
'I suppose you've talked her out of it,' Mark said sulkily.
'Phoebe didn't need any talking,' Lee told him. 'She knows neither of you are ready for marriage, and I think you know it too.'
'What I think,' he said furiously, 'is that none of this need have happened if you hadn't been so clutch-fisted with my money. It's all your fault. Lee, and if you had any sense of decency you'd-'