Stephanie decided to compartmentalize her professional and personal life. With her duties as a physician completed today, she removed the mental stethoscope and…oh, hell…prepared to be Santa’s helper. Nerves tangled in her stomach at the thought of confronting Phil after walking out on him the other night.
A memo had gone out at work, “Wear your most outrageous Christmas sweater,” and she’d made a quick run to the Paseo to find something to fit the theme, but was too embarrassed to put it on until she got there.
Jason’s yacht was decked out with the Midcoast Medical employees’ handy Christmas decorations, and from this vantage point the boat promised, when lit up later, to thrill the spectators.
She smiled, even as her stomach fought off another wave of nervous flitters. She hadn’t seen Phil all week except for fleeting moments coming and going at the clinic. She’d avoided his gaze once, and another time he made an abrupt turn and entered Jon’s office. She’d failed miserably as fling material.
Claire waved and greeted her from the deck. An adorable curly-headed child with huge blue eyes stood by her side, and another baby, getting pushed back and forth in a stroller, sat plump and contentedly swaddled in extra blankets.
“This is my daughter, Gina,” Claire said, then nodded toward the stroller. “And this is Jason Junior.”
Looking more petulant than shy, Gina hugged her mother’s thigh and buried her face rather than say hello. Claire smoothed the girl’s hair with her free hand.
Stephanie gave herself a quick pep talk about not letting the children make her nervous. They were Claire’s children, not hers, and from the look of it, Claire handled the job with aplomb. It was Christmas, a child’s favorite time of year, and there was no way Stephanie could avoid missing her son, but just for today she vowed to not let it get her down. Just for today she’d let Christmas joy rub off on her and she’d smile along with everyone else on this festive occasion. Then, on Christmas Day, she would withdraw into her shell with her constant companion of grief.
She boarded the boat, her sweater in the original shopping bag, and almost immediately lost her balance when someone grabbed her knees. She reached for the boat rail and glanced down in time to hear a familiar squeal of hello. “Robbie, what are you doing here?”
“I get to thit on Thanta’s knee,” he said, pride beaming from his eyes.
“Me, too!” Gina had found her voice and chose to use it to stake her rightful claim.
Robbie made his version of a mean face at Gina—the silly scrunched-up look almost made Stephanie laugh—and crossed his arms. “He my brother.”
“This was my bright idea,” Claire said, looking apologetic. “Maybe I should have thought this through a little more.”
Phil seemed to materialize from thin air. A sudden pop of adrenaline quickened her pulse. She’d pretend, for Claire’s sake, that everything was normal.
Phil hadn’t noticed her yet, but Jason and Gaby had obviously noticed him, and laughed. He’d gone for Surfer Dude Santa with belly pad beneath a reindeerpatterned Hawaiian shirt and red velvet pants with suspenders. And good sport that he was, he’d stuck an all-in-one Santa hair and beard combo on his head like a helmet. A huge grin made his eyes crinkle at the edges as he modeled his ridiculous outfit. His California version of Santa might raise brows, but it would fit right in with Santa Barbara and was the perfect touch for their Christmas-themed yacht.
He made a slow turn, hands out to allow Jason and Gaby to see the entire costume, including the surfboardtoting reindeer on the shirt. They blurted out a laugh. He’d been hoodwinked into the job and, instead of griping, he’d good-naturedly put his signature on it. The thought tugged at Stephanie’s heart, and a bizarre notion catapulted through her brain. She could fall in love with a guy like Phil…if she didn’t watch out.
Phil finally noticed her, and she saw a subtle change in his self-mocking. When their eyes met for a brief second, he nodded and her legs turned to water. She nodded back, unsure if she’d be able to talk coherently to him. Gina and Robbie, rushing to greet Santa, put a quick stop to her fears.
“Santa, Santa,” the children chanted.
Suddenly distracted, Phil hugged both of them. An irrational sense of hurt made her fear she’d blown everything by leaving on Sunday night.
“Claire, I tell you, Roma and Dad will do anything for a cheap babysitter and a night out.” He gave a goodhearted shrug, as if he was putting on a carefree performance for her sake. “It’s a good thing I’ve got two knees,” he said. “Ho, ho, ho.”
Though sounding more resigned and not even close to a real Santa impersonator’s laugh, he still delighted the kids. And Stephanie thought he might feel as much at a loss as she did about how to handle things between them.
“He’s coming to my house first,” Gina chided Robbie.
“Nah-uh,” Robbie was quick to reply, arms tightly folded over his chest. “Mine.”
“Go get dressed,” Gaby said from over Stephanie’s shoulder. She wore a gaudy red Christmas sweater that clashed with her magenta hair, and nudged Stephanie toward the stairs. “I want to take group pictures before it gets too crowded.”
Whisked away to change, Stephanie barely had a moment to think about anything but putting on the Christmas sweater complete with a string of flashing Christmas lights on the appliquéd quilted tree. Aside from her mixed-up feelings about Phil, it actually felt good walking among the living again.
When she went up on deck, Jason had already turned on the lights. Everything twinkled and shone and the sight took her breath away. They really had created a winter wonderland. A dozen colorful strings of lights had been extended from the tip of the mainsail, from where they fanned out and were attached to the deck in a Christmas tree shape. At the top was a huge white lighted star. The half-size internationally decorated trees blinked and blinged, and with the added touch of a Scotsman, a Russian, a cowboy, a Dane and a Filipino standing next to them, they painted an impressive picture. Several lighted wreaths were hung strategically along the boat railing, and pine garland loaded heavily with glittery balls and blinking lights outlined the rails.
To top things off, two huge flashing neon Merry Christmas signs adorned both the bow and the stern. The remaining clinic employees sat on deck, wearing knitted caps and mufflers, assorted loud holiday sweaters and singing Christmas carols. If they didn’t win first place in the Santa Barbara Chamber of Commerce Christmas lights parade, they should at least win the gaudiest-boat award!
Swept up with the holiday spirit, Stephanie couldn’t help but laugh to herself. She hadn’t felt this excited about celebrating Christmas in years, and it felt pretty darn great…until she came face-to-face with Santa.
He looked as uncomfortable as she felt. If only she could think of something witty to say. Something that would break this awkward trance they seemed stuck in.
“Nice sweater,” he said, with the hint of teasing in his eyes.
It was the perfect excuse to lighten things up between them, to call a truce, and she grabbed it. “I like your suspenders, too.”
They smiled cautiously at each other. His solid bedroom stare cut through her facade and flustered her. She focused on his white cloud of hair and beard for distraction, realizing she’d never think of Santa the same way again.
“Hey, let me get a picture,” Jon said, camera in place, ready for his shot.
“Me, too,” Gaby chimed in, at his side.
René stood smiling behind Jon, holding a bundle of baby wrapped in half a dozen blankets. “You may as well let them,” she said. “They’ll just keep pestering you until you pose.”
Phil took Stephanie by the arm, pulled her closer, and whispered, “Smile pretty for the camera.”
His unflappable charm disarmed her, all the apprehension she’d clung to vanishing. Maybe she was in over her head, but she couldn’t deny her attraction to him.
“Great,” Jon said. “Now let’s go for a group shot.”
Jason appear
ed, decked out in a captain’s cap with minilights that blinked on and off. Everyone else lined up around him.
Almost as if being transported back in time, the magic and mystery of Christmas overcame Stephanie. Her skin became covered with goose bumps and her eyes prickled. It felt too good. She didn’t deserve to feel this happy…during the holidays.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Phil said, clutching her arm and nudging her toward his appointed chair as if sensing her mood change. “We have work to do. How did I get talked into this again?” He stared into her eyes, where tears were threatening. “Oh, right—you!”
“I abstained, remember?” she said, grateful that everything seemed back to normal between them. It helped snap her out of the weepiness.
Deeply grateful for this night and all the distractions, she took her place and waved toward Jon on the docks as he snapped several more group shots. Then Jason backed the vessel out of the berth, laying on the air horn for a long and attention-getting blast.
Claire lifted first Gina and then Robbie onto Phil’s lap. He pulled his chin in, as if aliens from planet Xenon had just been dropped from a spacecraft.
“Listen up, you two.” Claire held each of their chins in a hand. “Do not get down from Santa’s lap. Do you understand?”
Mesmerized by her firm clutch, they gave her their undivided attention and both nodded.
Though more relaxed with Robbie, Phil looked completely out of his element, with Gina bouncing excitedly on his knee. Stephanie hid her smirk. At least he wasn’t complaining.
It seemed as if it took forever to line up the participating boats and set sail in Santa Barbara bay. They’d head toward Stearns Wharf, sail around the end and along the other side, then down the coast for a few miles before starting back toward the harbor.
The magnificent sight of a fleet of decorated boats reflecting off the blackening sea made Stephanie’s eyes prickle again. When she looked back toward shore and saw the rolling hillsides and houses heavily covered with holiday lights, and the palm tree silhouettes dotting the beach, she couldn’t hold back her feelings. For the first time since Justin’s death she’d explore the goodness of the season. She couldn’t bring him back, but she could celebrate his short existence by refusing to let the sadness dictate her life. Even if it was only for tonight.
Overwhelmed, she let her tears brim and dribble down her cheeks. They weren’t the usual tears that burned with guilt. Not today. They were tears of joy and goodwill…and letting go. Today she’d extend that goodwill to herself. A huge weight the size of Santa’s gift sack seemed to lift from her shoulders. Suddenly feeling as buoyant as the ocean, she anchored herself to the rail and waved to the passing judges’ motorboat, her smile genuine and filled with the spirit of the season.
Jason released the cork from the champagne bottle in his living room, sending it flying through the air as everyone ducked. While he splashed the bubbling liquid into several outreaching glasses, he beamed with satisfaction.
“Here’s to a well-deserved win,” he said. “We finally did it!”
Everyone cheered.
Phil saw Stephanie standing beside Claire and René, applauding along with everyone else.
The sight of her earlier on the boat had knocked him off balance. He’d felt compelled to make things right, but wasn’t sure if she wanted anything to do with him, and he wanted to respect her feelings. He hadn’t felt that lacking in confidence and confused over a woman since high school. All he knew for sure was that she’d left abruptly a week ago, and he hadn’t been the same since. And that damn ticking clock counting down the days until she left for home didn’t help either.
Under the bright lights of the Rogerses’ family room, Stephanie’s hair was decidedly red. The royal-purple satin blouse she wore accented the color even more. She’d taken off her ridiculous sweater, and he definitely liked what he saw.
He’d miss her when she was gone. Hell, he’d missed her all week. She’d stay here until the first of the year, and if he played his hand right, he’d get things back on track and hopefully have her back in his bed before the night was over.
He snagged an extra glass of bubbly and delivered it to her. “Here’s to our win.”
Her bright eyes widened and her generous smile let him know she was happy to see him. “And kudos to you for juggling two squirming kids all evening.”
He shook his head. “Man, since Robbie has been sleeping with CPAP he has even more energy. I was ready to throw him overboard a couple of times, but I kept thinking Roma would be really mad at me.”
She laughed. “You’d never do that.”
“Figure of speech.” He enjoyed the little patches of red on her cheeks and neck. He’d spent enough time around her to know that meant she was nervous. He still made her nervous. Was that a good thing? Hell, she made him nervous, too, and he liked it.
“Admit it, you love that kid,” she said.
“He is my brother.” Talking about kids wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. He’d had a whole week to devise his plan. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” With his hand on her lower back, he guided her to a quiet corner of the room.
“What’s up?” She gazed at him with suspicion.
“We’re friends, right? And we’re supposed to be honest with each other,” he said, noticing her eyes soften at the edges and her lusciously alluring lips pout ever so slightly. He wanted to kiss her, but they were in a room full of fellow employees. Even though whispers and suspicions traveled the watercooler circuit at the clinic, he wasn’t about to flaunt their private relationship. “That’s why I want you to know that I’m ready to take the next step.”
Wide-eyed disbelief had returned. She took a quick sip of champagne and nearly choked on it. He tapped her back as her eyes watered.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to shock you.”
She coughed and sputtered. “What are you talking about—take the next step?”
“Listen,” Phil said. “I know it’s kind of hard to take a man dressed in a surfin’ Santa suit seriously, but I want you to know I’ve really been doing a lot of thinking over the last week.”
The suspicious glint returned to her eyes.
“Yeah, and the thing is I’ve decided to try commitment out.”
“What?” She blurted a laugh. “Just like that? You’re putting me on.”
“Well, maybe one step at a time. Seriously, don’t you think that’s progress for a guy like me?”
“Hey, that’s great. Really, I think it’s great,” she said, but the subtle slope of her shoulders and that naggingly suspicious gaze wasn’t very encouraging. She obviously didn’t believe he’d changed a bit.
“So you have any plans tomorrow?” he said.
The champagne flute was halfway to her mouth when she tossed him a surprised glance.
“I thought I’d hit the local shelter. Maybe you can help me pick out a dog?”
Bad timing. She’d taken another sip, and along with her wry laugh she blew champagne out of her mouth.
“What? You don’t think I can handle a committed relationship with a dog?”
All she could do was shake her head and point her finger at him with a one-day-I’ll-get-you-back-for-this glower.
He knew he was pushing the limit, but he couldn’t help playing with her, especially when her reaction was so satisfying. “What do you say, are you in?”
Having wiped her mouth, and found her voice again, she said, “I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”
What had gotten into Phil? He’d brought her a glass of champagne and strung her along with his newfound wisdom about relationships, then got her good. She shook her head and laughed to herself. The guy was completely spontaneous, and she thoroughly enjoyed him. She pushed aside the quick thought about love she’d had earlier.
He was ready to commit…to a dog.
She couldn’t very well leave him to his own resources over such a big decision. The guy—the charming and sexiest Santa she’d ever laid h
er eyes on—needed help choosing a dog. How could she refuse?
Phil had hoped to bring Stephanie home with him tonight, but he didn’t want to blow any progress he’d made by imposing his desires. He’d have to wait another day, get her all worked up over some canine’s big brown eyes, have her help him make the dog at home then ask her to stay for dinner. If things worked out the way they usually did when the two of them were alone together, he’d put Fido in the yard and bring Stephanie back to his bed.
Not that he was using a dog simply to impress Stephanie. Once he’d thought about it and made the decision, he really wanted one. Loyal. Dependable. Warm. Loving. A dog would never leave him, and was exactly what he needed for companionship.
Phil turned the final corner to his street, rubbed his jaw, and smiled. Being Santa had been a blast. Who could have guessed? If Stephanie hadn’t pushed him into the job, he never would have known. And the constant smile on her face on the boat made all the humiliation worthwhile.
Something seemed different about her, he thought as he parked in his garage. He’d never been known for being intuitive, but he could have sworn she’d left half of her usual baggage behind tonight.
He’d picked up on her playful spirit and tested out the limits. He shook his head and grinned as he unlocked his house door. He’d imagined Stephanie Bennett doing all kinds of sexy things, but he’d never expected to see her spit champagne across the room. A hearty laugh tumbled from his throat as he stepped inside. It echoed off the empty house walls, and once again he was reminded how big and lonely his bachelor pad was.
The rows of metal cages, with every size, breed, and shape of dog filling every single one, almost broke Stephanie’s heart. She could hardly bear to look into any of the dogs’ eyes. The cages lined the walls of the cement-floored warehouse/shelter, where the smell of urine and dog breath permeated the air.
“I wish I could buy all of them,” Phil said, echoing her sentiments.
A Magical Christmas Page 43