I must have fallen asleep. Waking to the sound of voices, I gasped in fright. Kate's dark eyes gazed down at me from Grace's impassive face. My heart stumbled. Why was Kate here? I hadn't done anything else. I hadn't told anyone what happened. It had to be a dream…
"Emlynn? Em! It's us." Amy's voice was higher-pitched than usual. I cracked my eyes open again. Amy was pale and puffy-eyed. Grace had the strangest expression on her face. Annoyance, of course, but mostly she looked…upset. Kate might be taking over but Grace was still in there. It was Grace who'd come to see me not Kate. Grace can still be saved. I was so muddled. Sick and cold. I didn't want to fight anymore. I wanted someone to take care of me. Take this burden away.
It was so hard last time. Healing, building myself back up, struggling on after the accident and all without Mum. Mostly without Dad too. I didn't want to admit it but Haze had hurt more than my arm. My courage had taken a beating. I wasn't sure if it would recover. When I left hospital last time, I was determined that I was never going back. Not even for speech therapy or more tests to see if I could re-learn to read. I accepted the worst medical opinion available because then I didn't have to try. I never realized how mortally terrified I was of being hurt like that again. Of being physically helpless. Haze had calculated his blow well. How could I tell anyone about him now?
"Em?" Amy's voice wobbled.
"Duh don't cry. I'm oh-oh-kay." I tried to smile but it felt stiff and tight on my face.
"What happened Emlynn? Why were you up there?" Amy's eyes were wide.
"I duh don't r-remember."
"Next time you do a pathetic cry for attention, Gremlin, can you do something that doesn't involve a hospital? I'm starting to think you have a weird fetish for them." It would have sounded vicious if Grace's voice wasn't choked and thick. She had turned away. Her shoulders shook. Was Grace crying? Over me?
"Okay girls, you'll see your sister again later." A different nurse from yesterday had arrived to take me to surgery. To my mortification, she had brought a wheelchair.
"See you later, Emlynn." Amy hugged me carefully. I squeezed her gently back.
"Later." It could have been a threat or a goodbye. Both Grace and Kate spoke the word.
I was still shaking by the time I'd got up on the operating table and laid down. I glanced queasily at the IV cannula fitted to a vein in the back of my left hand. There was a horrible symmetry with eight and a half months ago. That time it was my right hand. I didn't want to be given general anaesthetic. There would be no way out of that drugged wilderness if my nightmares came. And if Haze came for me here…or Kate… I clamped my lips shut to stop myself screaming.
The only thing that kept me on the table was the thought of never being able to play the piano again if I didn't have my arm fixed.
"It's alright, love. No need to be nervous. Mr Roberts is very good." The nurse stroked my hair.
"Rubbish, Sue, I'm the best." The consultant gave me a conspiratorial wink. He probably was as good as he said. He seemed nice, for a doctor. I didn't smile. I didn't think I would ever be warm again.
The nurse fitted a mask over my nose and mouth and told me to breathe normally. Fluid was injected into the IV line.
"Count back from ten, love." The nurse said.
I got as far as eight.
I Belong to the Earth (Unveiled Book 1) Page 38