Stronger

by Blue Ashcroft

  “What?”

  “Knight told me. When Camille triggered once, she said something about dark hair, and a snake.”

  “Huh.” A mystery. I like mysteries. Maybe if I can help Geoff solve it, along the way I can use the time to convince him that his vendetta is useless. Maybe once he finally knows who it was, he can let it go. I can’t really believe he could be a murderer.

  I mean, didn’t he hold something in his hand when he was throwing Mike out, just so that he wouldn’t be tempted to kill him? That says to me that it’s at least worth a try to convince him not to go through with things.

  Or should I not help him, and just hope that he never finds out who it is?

  I’m also feeling a little guarded, wondering if he’s just been trying to get close to me to ask me about this party. Was he just waiting for me to be indebted? No, that’s paranoid. I mean, he’s been around me for a year. He could have just asked sooner if that was really all he wanted.

  “It’s going to be really hard to narrow it down. But I guess I could go through the year book and show you the usual people at my parties, if you wanted.” I think for a minute. I want to ask him if this is the only reason he wants to be around me, but I don’t want to hear the answer. I want to believe that it’s just because he’s interested in me. I just need a friend right now. “You know, actually, at one of my parties a couple of weeks ago, someone got roofied.”

  His eyes fly open and he sits up a little. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. But I mean, you aren’t going to assume that anyone who is a creep is the one who hurt Camille?”

  “No. But I really do think it was someone she knew. Someone she trusted.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she protected him. She wouldn’t say who it was, no matter how Knight or I pressured her.”

  I sigh. “Geoff, is this the only reason you’ve been interested in me?”

  He blinks. “No. You’re hot. It’s just luck that you’re also potentially a source of information. And you did ask what you could do in return. If you don’t want to though…”

  “I do.” Camille was so innocent. She didn’t deserve that. And the guy who did it didn’t deserve to walk away unscathed. I don’t know what he deserved. And finding him is a good distraction compared to sitting around and waiting for Mike. “Mike wasn’t at this party though, so it was definitely someone different.”

  “Can you throw another party? A big one?”

  “I guess so, why?”

  “Because maybe roofie guy will show up again.”

  I grimace. “So you want me to throw a party in the hopes someone gets roofied?”

  “No, but you’d be throwing one sooner or later anyway, right? And this way I’ll be there. We’ll keep an eye on things. I can watch for anyone trying to spike a drink, no problem.”

  It still feels odd, but I guess it is for a good cause. I mean, that person is still out there, trying to make girls feel afraid. Like I’ve felt this last year with Mike. I don’t want that to happen to someone else, and maybe I owe womankind for not being able to stop Mike from being out there, free to do as he chooses.

  “That reminds me,” I say. “How did you know all that legal stuff you said when you threw Mike out?”

  He shrugs. “It was mostly B.S. But my step dad is a lawyer.”

  “Interesting.”

  “Don’t get too interested Dollface. It’s his money, not mine.”

  “Ouch. Don’t assume I want your money. Don’t assume I want anything from you,” I snap, sneering and sitting back. The Neanderthal in him brings out the prickly bitch in me.

  “Nothing?” he asks, scooting his chair forward towards mine, coming closer till we’re almost nose to nose. I can feel his warm breath against my lips and look into his dark gray eyes that are so close to mine. Feel the chemistry all around us. Maybe I do want something.

  But then he pulls back and laughs. “Well, that answers that, Dollface.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “Why not? I thought you liked it.” He stands and goes to the back door, waiting for me. I join him.

  “I never said that.”

  “It’s not just what you say, Dollface. It’s how you say it.”

  “Yeah well, I could say the same thing about you. It’s like there are two of you.”

  For a moment he seems taken aback, but then he just smiles. “Most of us are multi-faceted, Dollface.”

  I wince. “That sentence. Wow, that’s confusing.”

  “What?”

  “How you can sound so smart and so stupid at the same time.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “So I sounded smart for once?”

  I open the back door. “You sound smart sometimes. I just can’t decide which is the real you.”

  “The dumb one,” he says.

  We get to the front door together. “I think the soonest I can set up the party for is like a week out.”

  “Good. You can give me the deets when you see me at work.” He gives me a quick side hug and heads out.

  “Geoff?” I call out when he’s halfway to his bike. He stops and turns, hands in pockets.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I trust you?”

  He takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky. I don’t know why he does that. “What do you think, Dollface?”

  Then he turns and gets back on his bike, and before I can answer, he’s gone.

  Damnit!

  Chapter 6

  I’m tired of parties. I’m sighing as I sit on the arm of a couch watching the drink table. Geoff passes through the room, giving me a look that I return before he continues out to the back yard to make sure no one’s in trouble back there.

  I’m not sure which of us is more crazy. Geoff for thinking he can actually somehow find Camille’s rapist, or me for going along with it and trying to help him.

  Maybe it’s just that I do feel a little guilt over what happened to Camille. None of us understood what was going on with her. I was friends with everyone. I could have been in a position to reach out. But I didn’t. I was shallow and trapped in my own little popular world.

  Back then I just loved my parties and having people over, and inviting people like Camille felt like the extent of kindness that I needed to give. Now I realize I was so wrong.

  What if it did happen because of one of my parties? I can feel the blood drain from my face, feel my stomach hurt, just thinking about it.

  Plus, as long as Geoff and I are on this weird scavenger hunt, I don’t have to think about how to tell my parents I’d rather do beauty school than college next year.

  How old is Geoff? He looks a year or two older than me. Why isn’t he going to college? Why isn’t he moving on from the park and doing something with his life? I know it’s summer right now, but I don’t get the feeling that he has any other plans other than the one he’s working on now.

  I pop open a Coke can and sip it while I continue to watch the room. A lot of people come and go, but I haven’t seen anyone suspicious.

  But maybe that’s the problem here. Maybe the most dangerous people don’t seem suspicious at all. I didn’t think Mike was suspicious until he attacked me, and it sounds like Camille didn’t suspect anything either. Still, it must take a special kind of monster to even want to have sex with someone who isn’t interested. At the very least it would be good to find out who roofied Ryan at that one party so that I can make sure they don’t come to another one.

  Geoff comes back inside, looking defeated. He pulls up the neck of his tight black tee and wipes his forehead on it. Gross. When he sees me glaring, he grins, and then walks over. He sits on the couch next to me, slightly sweaty, muscles bulging out of his tee. I like the look of his jeans. Dark, worn, and tight on his thighs. Dude knows how to dress.

  He sighs. “I don’t know Amy. I think I’m realizing just how stupid this is.”

  “It is kind of stupid,” I agree.

  “I mean, I don’t know. Maybe I was just being to
o crazy about it the other night.” He puts an arm along the back of the couch and a girl nearby giggles and sinks under it. He shrugs and keeps talking. “I mean, you were the first person I’d really talked to about it, maybe I just, maybe a lot was coming out. Maybe I should just give up.”

  But he looks so sad, so defeated at the thought, that even though he’s right, I don’t want to agree with him. “You don’t have to give up, if you don’t want to. But you shouldn’t be obsessed.”

  “I know, I just…” He drags his hands through his hair, making it stand up and go in different directions. “I don’t know how else I’ll find him. I don’t know how to move on, either. Something about this Mike thing has stirred a lot of things up.”

  “I know.” It makes me sad that just helping me out has turned out this way for him.

  “I don’t think we have to give up though. I mean, we could at least try to use the party to find the guy who tried to roofie someone at the last party.”

  “Who was roofied again?”

  I laugh and then cover it with my hand. “Ryan.”

  Both of his eyebrows shoot up. “Seriously? I bet Ally was ready to dish out a can of whoopass.”

  “Now that you mention it, I think she just took him home. I don’t know though. Knowing Ally she probably was just offended by the thought that anyone would do something like that.”

  “Hmm.” Geoff folds his arms, making his biceps look even more huge than they already are. I wet my lips.

  “But yeah, what if I pretended to act roofied, and you could see who was paying attention to it, who seemed to want it?

  His expression darkens and something twitches at the side of his forehead. “Okay, that’s a new level of stupid.”

  “I mean, you’re here, you can keep an eye out. Stay near me. I mean, most guys wouldn’t be attracted to someone that out of it, right?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You wouldn’t, right?”

  “Of course not. I like the girls more into it than I am, scratching my back, begging—”

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I say, putting a hand out over his mouth. It’s warm and I immediately regret it as he licks my fingers quickly with his rough tongue. “Ew! I can’t believe you did that,” I snap, pulling my hand back, ashamed that it was slightly hot, and that my hands are tingling slightly from where he touched.

  “Don’t try to gag me then,” he says, tilting his head with a smirk.

  “Don’t say disgusting things then.”

  He moves closer on the couch, pulls me down next to him and drops an arm around me. “Disgusting, or you’re just disgusted with yourself for being turned on by them?”

  “Ew,” I say, pushing him away. “See, that Geoff? I don’t want to kiss that Geoff. Yuck. I’d never date that Geoff.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “But you’d kiss the other Geoff?”

  “Yeah, the one that isn’t disgusting.”

  He exhales slowly, his chest falling as he does it. “Don’t get it confused Dollface. I think you’re hot, I’d love to have you scratch my back, but we aren’t going to date or anything. I’m not into that.”

  “Into what?”

  “Commitment.”

  My heart sinks a little despite my own aggravation at it for doing so. I didn’t really want him to want me, did I? I guess I just read into it wrong when he was being protective and offering to help with Mike. I mean, he seemed so possessive.

  But I guess it was just the Camille issue.

  “Why?” I ask.

  He bites his lip. “Look, it’s nothing personal. I like you. But I’m not looking for that right now.”

  “Because?”

  “Because I’m just not. I’m sorry if I led you in that direction, Dollface. I’m not that kind of dude. I’m not the take home to mom, get married, upper class type. I’m the down and dirty, fun fling type.”

  “I don’t think you are. I think you’re just trying to be that.”

  He squeezes my shoulder lightly. “I think you don’t know as much about me as you think you do.”

  Damn, he’s right. “Fine. Who said I wanted anything from you anyway? Aggravating boy.”

  He just shrugs and smiles slightly, and I go back to watching the drink table. People are starting to filter out for the night. I don’t even know half of them. It’s interesting how party invites spread through the guards. I used to like meeting new people. But since Mike started stalking me, parties have just been worrisome, and I only keep throwing them because people expect me to.

  At some point you have to grow up. At some point, you start wanting to just be home with one person, not out with many different ones. I’ve never felt that way, that interested in someone. I’ve been attracted to lots of people, thought they could be the ones to make me want more, but it never happens.

  So why did it have to finally happen with a Neanderthal who doesn’t actually want anything from me but sex? I know I’m worth more than that. It’s offensive that he doesn’t think so. Of course, he says he’s not into that in general, but that’s what people always say to make rejections softer. But am I really even thinking about being rejected by such a character? It’s so beneath me.

  “I’m getting a drink,” I say.

  “What kind?”

  “A not-roofied one.”

  “Sure,” he says. “Want me to get it?”

  “No, I got it,” I say, standing to go to the kitchen. I don’t need him interfering more. I don’t need his mixed signals.

  I go into the kitchen and open the fridge. I pull a bottle of lemonade out and open the cupboard to get more sugar, and see something move out of the corner of my eye. I jump back from the counter, staring out the window where I swear I just saw Mike’s face, looking over our neighbor’s fence. I must be stressed, or tired. He couldn’t really have been there.

  My parents are out of town. I thought that worked well, because this has been a pretty big party and they don’t like the noise level.

  They’re still a little disappointed that I’m taking a year off to work before going to school. I missed all of the admission deadlines. Except for beauty school. But I’d need to save for that anyway because there is no way they’d pay for that. They might even disown me when I actually tell them I’m strongly considering it.

  I wish I could be like Geoff, doing whatever I want.

  Wait a minute, I am not wishing to be Geoff, the dual personality Neanderthal hell bent on vengeance. I stare out again, into the dark night, over my neighbor’s fence. Nothing. I must have imagined it. I haven’t seen in him long enough that my eyes are looking for him.

  I close the window just in case. The wind outside goes silent as I do. I back out of the kitchen, still feeling an eerie feeling, like someone is standing behind me, watching me. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Makes me afraid.

  I’m tired of being afraid.

  I bump into someone behind me and jump and spin around, coming face to face with Geoff, who catches me in strong arms and looks down with surprised eyes.

  “Damn Dollface, what happened?”

  I pull away and brush off my arms. “Nothing.”

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He strides past me to the window and looks out, then back to me. “You see something out there?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  “Hm,” he says, folding his arms and looking unconvinced. “Make sure your parents lock up when they get back tonight.”

  “They’re out of town. I’ll lock up.”

  His eyebrows raise. “Really? So you’re here alone?”

  “Yes,” I say, daring him to have a problem with it.

  “Well, that ain’t safe.”

  “I think it’s fine.”

  “I can’t leave you here alone, not when you’re pale as a sheet.”

  “Well, it’s not your choice.”

  “Do you really want to be here alone?” he asks, walking forward. He’s so solid, and large, and
safe looking. No, I don’t really want to be alone tonight. I don’t want to tell him, though.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, come over to my place tonight.”

  “But…” I say.

  “I won’t take advantage. We won’t be alone either. I’ve got two roommates. They’re cool.”

  “I still don’t know,” I say. “The party is still going.”

  Geoff goes out through the kitchen, and, in a booming voice, announces the party is over and tells everyone to get the hell out.

  “What about catching the roofier?” I ask, pulling him back by his elbow.

  “Don’t care.” He shakes his hair off his forehead. I want to put my hands in it. “You got scared back there.”

  “I’m fine. I must have been imagining things.”

  “What did you think you were imagining?”

  “I think, I just, I might have imagined I saw Mike.”

  “Where?” He glares at the window, staring hard, like he can somehow pull Mike out of the woodwork just by staring.

  “Looking over my neighbor’s fence. Felt like he was staring at me. It was just out of the corner of my eye.”

  His face twists up in displeasure. “You’re coming to my place.”

  “I’m not.”

  “I’ll protect you,” he says.

  “From what?”

  “You’re probably nervous about the other Neanderthals I must live with, right?”

  I fold my arms and lean against the counter. It’s cool against my back. “I’m not nervous about anyone but you.”

  “Oh really?” He leans his hands on the counter on either side of me, leans in and looks me over. “Why would you be nervous about me?”

  I push on his chest, but he doesn’t budge. “Because you’re confusing. Because one minute you’re the class clown and the next you’re super serious. Because one minute you’re into me, and the next you’re telling me not to want anything.”

  “Oh,” he drawls, smiling down at my mouth. “I didn’t know you wanted a taste of the Geoff burger so bad.”

  I sigh. Oh no. Not this Geoff. “I don’t. I don’t want a taste. That’s the problem. You’re telling me I can’t have it, when I haven’t even said I would want it.”