by Virna DePaul
“Tell me. Just once, let’s both be honest. Tell me you still want me, too.”
She remained silent, reached out and placed her hand on the built-in bookshelf behind her. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood.
“Oh, baby, don’t,” he whispered, rubbing his thumb softly against her lips until they parted on a thready moan. “Just tell me. Please.”
She licked her lips and the tip of her pink tongue touched his flesh, hitting him like a thousand volts of electricity. He sucked in his breath and raised his other hand to her face, pulling her up on her toes and toward him.
All it would take was one word from her, and he’d let go. Give them both what they so desperately wanted. She remained quiet. Stiff in his embrace.
But she stared at him with eyes like polished amber, radiating desire. “I want you. I want all those things, too.”
Chapter 16
John carried Lily into her bedroom and gently placed her on the bed. Then he proceeded to kiss her. Caress her. His lips and hands lingered and savored until she was shifting restlessly, impatiently pulling at his clothes and her own.
John laughed. “Slow down, baby. I’ll take care of you.”
She shook her head, not sure how to make him understand. Now that she’d admitted she wanted him—now that she knew he wanted her, too—the last thing she wanted was to waste more time. Although his touch gave her pleasure beyond words, she could barely enjoy it given the impatience and urgency coursing through her. She wanted more than mere pleasure. She wanted him inside her, finally taking what she’d always wanted to give him.
“Come inside me,” she begged. “Now. Please. Don’t make me wait a second longer.”
She could tell he wanted to argue with her, but then his expression tightened. He stripped her and himself of the last vestiges of their clothes, but not before fishing a condom packet out of his wallet. Silently, he tore the pack open and was about to suit up, but she placed her hand on his. “I—I’m on the pill. It helps with cramps. So you don’t have to. If—if you don’t want to. I’m clean.”
He stared at her for several long seconds while a muscle ticked in his jaw. Slowly, he slipped his hand from out of hers and laid the condom on the nightstand. “I’m clean, too. But you shouldn’t take my word for it.”
“I do,” she whispered. “I trust you.”
He closed his eyes briefly, as if saying a silent prayer, then cupped her hips and took his place between her thighs. She raised her knees and hugged him, then pulled him forward. She gasped when he gathered her wrists in his hands and pinned them beside her head.
Steadily, he sank into her, hard and thick and heavenly. She whimpered with relief and frustration. He’d given her exactly what she’d wanted, but his possession merely sparked her desire until her entire body burned.
He released her wrists and moved to cover her aching breasts. He skimmed his palms lightly over her nipples. They hardened into rigid peaks and she arched with need.
His chest heaved with his attempts at breath and he smoothed one hand over her face. “What do you want, Lily?” he rasped.
You. Just you. To be my partner. To share my life. But she was unable to form the words. Her need had left her mindless, unable to do more than twine her hands in his soft hair and pull his head down toward her chest.
“You want me to suck on these?” he asked as he tweaked her nipples between his fingers.
“Yes,” she ground out. “Please.”
He lowered his head and teasingly lapped at one of her nipples. At the same time, he withdrew from her, teasingly massaging her with himself. She tried pushing her breast deeper into his mouth, tried drawing him back inside her, but he resisted.
“Damn you,” she said, struggling away from him.
He merely laughed and captured her hands again, holding them high above her head while he subdued her kicking legs with his own.
He immediately sucked on her nipple, pulling at her with a strong rhythm she felt deep down in her core. She struggled against his hands until he released hers, then she slipped one hand between them and cupped his sex. She stroked him until he broke free from her breast and ground himself into her hand. “God, that feels good.”
She pushed at his chest. When he levered himself up on his hands and knees, she stroked him for several long minutes, treasuring each groan and tremor that shook him. He seemed barely aware when she started scooting her body down, leaving a trail of kisses down his chest and the flat planes of his stomach until her feet hung over the end of the bed. She paused at the soft hair just above his groin and he sucked in his breath. “Are you—?”
Her intent was to show him just how grown-up she was now. Her answer was a hot, wet suction. He groaned and she saw his arms shake with the effort of holding himself above her. She marveled at the undeniable evidence that he was overwhelmed by their closeness. This was another first, but not just between the two of them.
She’d never done this before. Had never wanted to. But now she was greedy, licking and sucking at him like a tigress, trying to put as much of his length into her mouth as she could.
She loved him. Her heart demanded she show him how much.
She took the entire length of him, following her retracting mouth with a tight, twisting grip of her hand. He groaned and tried to back off, but she grabbed his butt cheeks, refusing to let him go.
“Lily, stop. Lily, oh God. You’re going to make me...I’m going to...”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Come for me.”
His hips pumped against her in strong, jerky movements. She looked up and saw he was watching her, following the movements of her mouth as if he couldn’t tear his gaze away. A sound started in his chest, low, like a growl, and it got louder and louder, until he was grunting in time with their movements. She felt him swell inside her mouth and braced herself, swallowing the hot liquid that shot into her mouth as if it could bond them together forever.
He dropped to the side and off the bed, falling onto the floor with a soft thud. He covered his eyes with one hand. His body still shook with the force of his orgasm and she crawled down and on top of him, kissing him deeply, wondering if he would flinch back at the taste of himself. He didn’t. He invaded her mouth with his tongue and smoothed his fingers between her legs, spreading her wide as he rubbed his thumb back and forth.
She pulled back, gasping at the ripples of sensation concentrated between her legs. When she tried to capture his mouth again, he jerked his head back, but compensated for his retreat by pushing one long finger inside her. Then two. “That was incredible, Lily.”
She rotated her hips in frantic circles, feeling herself on the edge of madness. “I’ve never...it just felt right, with you.”
She saw his eyes darken and narrow as he registered what she was saying. He spread his legs wider, forcing hers apart until she braced her hands against his chest. He moved his own hands to her hips. He lifted her up and over him. He stared into her eyes as he held her poised over him. “I love you so much, small fry,” he said. “Whatever the future holds, we face it together. I promise.”
She tried lowering herself onto him, but he tightened his fingers, refusing to allow it until she nodded. “Yes, yes. Together. We face the future together.”
He closed his eyes, then slid her down onto his length at the same time he thrust himself up to meet her.
She screamed as he hurtled her straight into the arms of pleasure. He lifted her up and down repeatedly, controlling her movements, forcing her to accept every sensation until she was wild for release. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her down, rubbing his open mouth over her breasts before settling onto one to suckle her hard. When he slipped one hand behind her and stroked his finger between her butt cheeks, he pushed her over the edge. The tremors started at her toes and wound their way through her body until she was clenching around him in endless waves of pleasure. She felt him come with her just before she soared into the heavens.
* *
*
It was almost 8:00 p.m. when Lily stirred and pulled out of John’s arms. She used the bathroom then soundlessly opened her drawer to pull out a fresh set of panties and a T-shirt. She jerked when she felt John’s arms come around her from behind.
“I’ve missed you so much, Lily,” he growled. “It was hell to turn you away back then—”
He stopped, as if he knew talking about the past wasn’t a smart thing. Her heart leaped into her throat and tears filled her eyes. Her past was her torment, but it was also her pleasure. Love and death, inextricably united. How could they get past that?
Tears ran down her face. Tears of regret. And happiness. She turned in his arms, not bothering to hide them. Despite everything, they’d found each other again. But there was something she still needed to say. “Then why? Why did you push me away? I know you said my mother came, but—why couldn’t you have believed in my love? I—I would’ve been strong. I would’ve taken on anyone for you.”
He kissed her eyelids. Her nose. Her mouth. “I was a fool. I’m sorry, Lily.” He kissed his way down her body. Her sternum. Her rib cage. The soft swell of her stomach. He loved every precious inch of her, retracing his journey time and again, taking his time, claiming her, until she’d melted into the bedsheets with a soft languorous sigh.
Cupping her face in his hands, he whispered, “I love you, small fry. I’ve always loved you.”
She basked in his declaration for long minutes before finally pulling away. “So, what happens now?” she asked softly.
He closed his eyes and sighed. After giving her another kiss, he began putting on his clothes. When they were both dressed, she sat on the bed. He turned to her, fingers clasped behind his head in a take-a-deep-breath kind of way.
“I need to tell the A.G. everything. About you seeing Hardesty in the park. Trying to go to the prison. About. . .us.”
She looked away to stare at her footboard as she nodded. “What will happen?”
John shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll be off the case for sure. As far as whether I’ll be disciplined, I don’t know. But I don’t care. All that matters is you.”
The joy she felt at his words was overpowered by fear. “Disciplined? As in fired? But why? You couldn’t have known this would happen.”
John smiled ruefully. “I knew, Lily. Deep inside I knew. I’ve always cared about you. I just hid it well. It stood to reason I’d take one look at you and fall again. Which is exactly what happened.”
Hope blossomed in her heart. She stood and threw herself in his arms. He laughed and hugged her tight and for a moment she thought—finally, everything was going to work out the way it should.
When she pulled back to look at him, however, his expression stiffened again. He looked worried. She felt a small hollow pinch in her heart and took a breath, trying to fill it. “What is it?”
He pushed back her hair and caressed her cheek with the pad of one thumb. “We’ve got such a history, you and I, Lily. If I had known you’d be back in my life—”
She covered his hand with hers, but the muscles in his jaw ticked. “But we’re together now. That’s all that matters, right?”
He nodded. “That’s right. And I’m not going to let anything come between us again.”
He leaned down to kiss her, but even as he did, Lily’s phone rang. She let the machine pick up, sinking into his kiss. She pulled away when she heard Aaron’s voice coming from the kitchen, practically yelling.
“Lily, where are you? Help me, please.”
She and John broke apart, and they both scrambled to the phone in time to hear Aaron’s voice break into sobs.
“Ivy’s been hurt. Ashley’s missing. Help me, Lily. Please.”
* * *
John and Lily rushed to the hospital. He’d tried talking to her, but she’d been too upset. The horrible part was he couldn’t tell her everything was going to be okay. Not yet. He’d already talked to the officers who’d responded to the report of Ashley’s disappearance. Now he needed to talk to Ivy and Aaron.
Lily cried out the moment she saw her sister in the hospital bed. Ivy was pale. Bruised. Aaron huddled over her at one side of the bed while Lily fell into the seat on the other side and grabbed her sister’s hand. “What happened?”
“Ivy and Ashley got into a fight. Something about the boy she likes, Mike. Ashley stormed out of the house and had just turned the corner when Ivy ran out of the house to go after her. Ivy was so upset she ran right in front of a car—and Ashley’s still missing. She hasn’t answered her phone. We’ve already checked with her friends and no one’s seen them. She’s never run off like this before. Never.”
Aaron’s voice broke and he buried his face in his hands.
John winced. He and Aaron had gone to school together. They’d played on the same football team. He’d been there the day Aaron had met Ivy, and Aaron had been the only person John had told about his feelings for Lily. Aaron hadn’t approved, even before Lily’s mother had been killed. Even so, John had never wished the man anything but the best.
“It’s okay, Aaron,” Lily said. “She’s going to be okay, right?” She looked at John for affirmation and despite how much he wanted to give it to her, he didn’t agree.
Lily turned back to her sister. “Ivy. Ivy, can you hear me?”
Ivy’s eyes flickered open. “Li-Lily?”
“Yes, I’m here. I’m here, Ivy.”
“Where—?” Her throat locked and she coughed, the sound harsh and fluid. She tried to sit up. “Oh, God. Oh, Aaron. Ashley. A man. She got into a car with a man—”
“What?” Aaron exclaimed. “What are you talking about?”
“After she ran off. When I came out to get her. I saw her—” She was racked by another round of coughs.
John gave her a second before he asked, “What kind of car was it, Ivy? What did the man look like?”
Ivy shook her head and whispered, “Blue? Black? I don’t know—I can’t think—”
“It’s okay, Ivy,” Lily said, but her distressed gaze met John’s.
Ivy’s expression crumpled. “It’s my fault. Ashley. Mom. It’s all my fault, Lily.”
Lily gasped. “No, Ivy. It’s not your fault. You’re going to be fine. Ashley is going to be fine.”
But Ivy had closed her eyes, seeming too tired to fight the darkness anymore.
“Ivy, no. Ivy, wake up,” Aaron shouted.
Lily placed her hand on her brother-in-law’s shoulder. The touch seemed to ground him. “It’s okay,” she said soothingly. “She’s sleeping. She just needs to rest. And we need to concentrate on finding Ashley.”
Aaron bent down and kissed Ivy’s cheek. He stayed in place for several long minutes before straightening and turning to John. With an unwavering gaze, he asked, “Will you help find my daughter?”
John nodded. “Of course.” Turning to Lily, he said, “I need to interview the neighbor who saw the accident. The driver who hit Ivy. I know the cops will have already done that, but I need to do it myself.”
Lily nodded and clutched his arm, her eyes revealing how truly scared she was. “Yes, John. Please. Please find Ashley.”
He struggled with what to say. There was no reason to think Ashley was in danger. No reason to assume more than she was angry with her mother and had simply run away. But who was the man who’d picked her up? All of a sudden, John couldn’t stop thinking about one thing—Ashley was younger than Sandy LaMonte and they resembled each other. Just like the murder victim before her. What if The Razor really had killed Tina Cantrell and was picking victims who looked like her. He’d been afraid for Lily, but what if The Razor had Ashley?
Unable to form the right words, John kissed Lily softly. She clung to him for several minutes before pulling away. “I—I’ll stay with Aaron.”
John shook his head. “He needs to get home. In case Ashley returns.”
Lily looked at Aaron, who was once again bent over Ivy and weeping softly. “He’s not going to want to leave
her. I’ll go instead. You can call me there.”
John frowned. “I don’t want you to be alone.”
“What? Why?”
“I’d just feel better if… I’ll have an officer assigned to stay with you. He’ll meet you there?”
She nodded quickly. “Fine. Now go. I’ll be okay.”
He gave her another quick kiss, then left the room. He called Murdoch and asked him if he could meet Lily at Ivy’s house. Murdoch agreed and John hung up. He was halfway to the hospital entrance when his footsteps slowed. With confusion, he saw Thorn and Douglas Cantrell striding toward him.
The Deputy A.G. had dark shadows under his eyes, and his normally starched clothes were wrinkled. His goatee was overgrown. Doug didn’t look any better.
“How—how is she?” Lily’s father asked, his panic obvious. He was so pale John wondered how he remained standing.
“She’s stable for now.”
“What about Ashley? Have they found her?”
“I’m sorry, sir. Not yet. But I’m going to interview witnesses myself.” John turned to Thorn. Sweat dotted John’s forehead and he clenched his fists. Tonight had been both the worst and best day of his life. It had shown him what an idiot he’d been to let Lily go. But this is where his cowardice ended. “I need to talk to you, Thorn. It’s important. As soon as we find Ashley—”
“No,” Doug said flatly. “I don’t want you interviewing people about Ashley.”
Stupefied, John stared at him. Slowly, understanding filled him with fury. “For God’s sake, will you let the past go? I know you never thought I was anything but I’m a good cop. I can find your—”
“No,” Doug repeated, his voice now soft and shaky. “I know you’re a good cop. A good man. But I need you to do something for me first. And I need you to do it now.”
“Where’s Lily, John?”
In disbelief, John glanced at Thorn. “With her sister, of course. Why?”
Thorn stared back with a grim expression. “We’ve got DNA results from Tina Cantrell.”