I grabbed her hand and squeezed it as I used my other hand and wiped away the tear rolling down my cheek. “I bet it was. I’m so happy for both of you.”
Her smile faded for just a second before she said, “You can’t tell anyone though, okay? Layton and I agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone for at least another week or so. You can’t even tell Reed.”
“What? I can’t keep that from Reed,” I said.
“Oh, yes, you can. I promised Layton. Please. For me?” she begged in her famous whiny voice.
I crossed my heart with my index finger and stuck my pinkie out. “Fine, I promise, but don’t make me wait too long. I’m dying to start buying her clothes!”
We both started laughing when Reed and Layton walked up. I glanced over and caught Reed’s eyes. He was smiling, but his eyes were filled with so much sadness. I tried not to worry, but a part of me had a very bad feeling that something was about to happen, and Reed might very well break his promise to me about never hurting me. I took a deep breath as I stood up.
Whitley grabbed my arm and pulled me back to her. “Courtney?” she asked with concern.
“Yeah?” I said without pulling my eyes away from Reed.
“When do you think we can talk, Court? You keep delaying what we started to talk about that day when I came back from my honeymoon.”
I quickly turned and looked at Whitley. From the shocked look on her face, I was pretty sure all the blood from my face had drained away.
“Um…”
“Hey, angel. Do you want to take a walk with me?” Reed asked as he walked up and took me into his arms.
Oh God. My heart started pounding.
I looked back at Whitley and tried to smile. “Tomorrow?”
She slowly nodded her head. “Promise me?”
I grabbed on to Reed and barely said, “Yes.”
I wasn’t sure how long Reed and I had been walking in silence before he finally stopped and turned me to him. He looked over my shoulder, and when I turned to see what he was looking at, I noticed an old bench sitting under an oak tree.
I turned back and smiled. “Want to sit down?” I asked.
He nodded, and we made our way over to the old bench. We sat down, and Reed took in a deep breath.
“I ran into my father right before I picked you up.”
Shit. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I had been holding. That explains why he has been so distant. He’s upset.
Wesley had told me one night about how their dad had left them and how heartbroken their mother had been. I knew Reed had a fear of hurting me. He’d told me time and time again how he needed me to believe he would never hurt me in any way.
“Where? Did you talk to him?” I asked as I reached for his hand.
“At the coffee shop. I stopped to get you a cup of coffee, and there he was with some twenty-five-year-old slut hanging on to him while eye-fucking the shit out of me.”
I instantly got jealous, but I pushed the feeling aside.
“We talked for a couple of minutes, and that was it.” He turned and looked at me, and then he grabbed my face with his hands and brushed his thumb across my lips. “You have to believe me when I say I’m not like him. I’d never leave you. I’d never, ever leave you or hurt you. I saw what he did to my mother, and I promise you, I’ll love you until the day I die.”
When I saw a tear slide down his face, my whole world stopped spinning. I reached up and put my hands on top of his.
“Reed, I know you would never hurt me or leave me. I believe that with my whole heart. I love you so much, and I would never doubt your love for me—ever.”
He closed his eyes, and my heart was just breaking for him.
“Reed, I know your heart. I know how kind, gentle, and wonderful you are. I don’t think you would ever do anything wrong, or—”
“Stop. Please don’t say anything else.”
His eyes snapped open, and I instantly became nervous. There was something in his eyes, and I didn’t know what it was, but it scared me.
“Please don’t say what a wonderful person I am. You don’t know the terrible things I’ve done.”
I shook my head, confused. “What do you mean? What terrible things?”
He dropped his hands, and I instantly missed his touch. He stood up, jammed his hands through his hair, and then slid them down his face. I wasn’t sure why, but I loved whenever he did that. When he looked back at me, he was crying as he shook his head, and I sucked in a breath of air.
“I’m so afraid that I’m about to lose the one thing I’ve waited for my entire life. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved, and if I lost you…” His voice cracked, and he turned away.
Holy shit. What in the hell is going on? “Reed, you’re really scaring me. Please talk to me.”
He looked back at me, and the hurt in his eyes killed me.
“I can’t lose you. You’re my entire life.”
I stood up and grabbed his hands. “You’re not going to lose me. I promise you. Nothing you say is going to make me stop loving you—ever.”
“I did things…things I’m not proud of.” A sob escaped from his lips.
“Reed, what you did in the past is in the past. You don’t have to tell me anything. I love you for the person you are right now, today, not the you before me.”
He ran his hand through his hair again and then leaned over as he dropped his hands to his knees. “I have to tell you. I have to tell someone because I can’t take the guilt any longer.”
My heart was pounding. I had no idea what he was about to say to me, but I knew it had to be big if he was worried it would push me away from him. I slowly sat down and looked up at him. “Reed, just tell me, and please know that I love you and will always love you.”
He gave me a weak smile and sat down next to me. He must have sat there for a good five minutes before he took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“There was this girl…Kelsey. I met her in college, and we went out a few times. It was nothing serious, but one night at a frat party, we both had too much to drink, and one thing led to another.”
A one-night stand? He’s worried about a one-night stand? “Okay, so y’all slept together. Reed, you’re not the first person to have a one-night stand.” I placed my hand on his knee.
He closed his eyes and whispered, “She got pregnant. I’m not even sure how because I wore a condom, but…”
It felt like someone had pushed a knife into my stomach. Reed has a child? I couldn’t say a word. I just sat there and waited for him to keep talking.
“When Kelsey told me she was pregnant, I didn’t hesitate to tell her that I would help with the baby. I had no intentions of marrying her because I didn’t love her, but I knew I would help out with the baby the best I could. She told me she didn’t need my help because she had decided to…to…”
Oh. God. Oh God…please don’t say what I think he is going to say. “Reed…” I whispered.
“She told me if her parents found out, they would disown her and stop paying for college. She came from a very strict Catholic family. She didn’t want to disappoint them, and she didn’t want this to ruin her life. I tried to talk her out of it. I told her we could put the baby up for adoption, or I’d take the baby…but she wouldn’t listen to me.”
He put his head in his hands and began sobbing. “I just let her do it. I didn’t try hard enough to talk her out of it. She told me it was her body and her decision, and when I tried to say I had a part in the decision as well, she said I didn’t, and she had already made up her mind. She asked me to take her…and…oh God.”
I felt the tears running down my face as I grabbed on to Reed and held him as he cried. I’d never in my life felt such heartache as I did at this very moment.
Reed was now sobbing while trying to talk. “I took her to the appointment, Court. I waited there and did nothing while they did it. I took her home, and her roommate just smiled at me and told me she would take care of Kelsey.
I turned and walked away, and I never saw Kelsey again.”
“Reed, you don’t have to say any more.”
He began shaking his head as he looked up at me. “I do. I need you to know everything because I never want there to be anything between us—ever.”
I took a deep breath and nodded my head.
“I kind of just lost it after that. I began drinking and partying more, and I hooked up with a bunch of girls those first few months after.”
My stomach felt sick at the idea of Reed sleeping around with a lot of women, but at the same time, I understood.
“I woke up one morning with a girl in my bed, and I decided right then and there that I needed to stop. The last thing I wanted to do was end up getting another girl pregnant. I stopped with the partying and concentrated only on college.” He turned and looked at me, sadness filling his eyes. “I’m so sorry. None of them meant anything to me, and I felt so guilty for using them all for sex. I never promised them anything, and they were all one-night stands. They meant nothing.”
“Reed, it was in the past. It was long before me, and it means nothing to me now. I love you.”
I placed my hand on his chest, and he closed his eyes as he sucked in a breath of air.
“I love you for the man you are today, not who you were in college. I’m so sorry for what you went through. I can’t even imagine.” I shook my head. My heart broke for Kelsey as well.
The next thing I knew, Reed was on his knees in front of me. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that another girl, who I didn’t even love, was the first to carry my child. That should have been you. I want the mother of my children to be you, Courtney. My only dream was to find you, the love of my life, the one girl I’d lay my life down for and do anything to make her happy. I don’t want my dream to be broken because of something I did in my past or for the stupid way I behaved.”
He began crying harder, and I dropped to my knees next to him.
I placed my hands on his face and made him look at me. “That will be me. That is me. Reed, I’m not going to take away the fact that a precious little angel in heaven would have been your first child, but we will have all our dreams come true, you and me together. I want nothing more than to give you your first child. I can’t wait to give you that gift. Reed, our dreams are no longer broken, not when we have this kind of love together. I love you so much.”
I began kissing him, and at first, he wasn’t responding. I moved my tongue along his lips, and he finally opened them up to me. Our kiss quickly turned passionate, and then it became something even more. I needed him to be inside me. I needed him to know how much I loved him and how I would always love him. Nothing would ever change that. I unbuttoned his pants and then pulled off his T-shirt.
“Courtney…” he whispered as he looked at me and pushed down his pants.
I smiled as I pulled my shirt up and over my head, and then I slipped my panties off from under my skirt. “I love you, Reed. I need to feel you inside me.”
He pressed his lips against mine and frantically began kissing me. He pulled away once and looked into my eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”
I reached down and began stroking his dick as I gave him the sexiest smile I could. “Oh, Mr. Moore, how wrong you are…how very wrong you are.”
He gently laid me back and pushed himself into me. He moved in and out slowly, and I was completely lost in his lovemaking. He kept repeating how much he loved me, and my heart broke at the idea of him being so scared of hurting me. I was so touched that he’d shared what happened with Kelsey, but at the same time, I was devastated for him, for all those years he’d carried around that guilt.
I wasn’t sure how long we lay there on the ground, wrapped up in each other. We talked for a bit more about what we both wanted.
“Maybe I should bring some items over to the cabin?”
He smiled so big and nodded his head like a child. “Why don’t you just move in?” he asked with a boyish grin on his face.
“We’ve only been officially going out for a few months. You don’t think it’s too soon to move in together?”
He smiled and said, “Nope.”
When he pulled away from me and began getting dressed, I sat up and just stared at him. Damn, how did I get so lucky with him? I reached for my clothes and started dressing. I was pretty sure that I was going to end up with grass burns from our little lovemaking session, but I didn’t care. It had been beyond perfect, and somehow, I thought it had helped Reed even more that we’d made love after all that he told me.
I stood up and looked around for the hair band that I’d had. I thought I’d wrapped it around my wrist. I turned around, about to ask Reed if he’d seen it, when I saw him down on one knee, holding a ring box.
Oh. My. God. Oh, holy hell. I placed one hand on my stomach as the other one came up to my mouth.
“Courtney, I had this all planned out, and I wanted to make it so special for you, but something just came over me, and I…well, shit…I couldn’t wait another minute. I love you, Courtney. I want to love you for the rest of my life. I want to wake up to you every morning and lie down next to you every night. I want to make love to you on our kitchen island as much as we want to. I want to sit with you on the back porch and watch you while you’re lost in one of your books. I want to see your stomach getting bigger with our kids, and hell, I even want to fight with you and then have make-up sex. I want the world for both of us, and more than anything, I want to make all your dreams come true. I want to be your Prince Charming, Courtney. I want to be your everything. Will you marry me?”
I stood there, stunned. I slowly dropped to my knees and looked into his eyes. He is dead serious. He is really asking me to marry him. My head started spinning. The logical side of my brain was telling me this was way too fast, and we needed to slow down. The romantic, crazy fool side of my brain was screaming for me to say yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!
“Um…Court…with you not really responding and all, I’m kind of getting really nervous that my unplanned, spur-of-the-moment proposal was a bad idea.”
I closed my eyes, and I did the one thing I’d never done before. I listened to my heart instead of my head. When I opened my eyes again, I smiled, causing Reed to flash me that drop-dead gorgeous smile of his. Even though we’d just made love, I wanted him again, more than ever.
“Reed, the first time I ever looked into your eyes, I felt something I’d never felt before. I knew I wanted to be a part of all your dreams. I think I’ve always known you are my Prince Charming. Nothing would make me happier than to be your wife.”
His smile grew bigger. “Really?”
I nodded my head and said with a smile, “Really.”
He looked down and opened the box. My eyes followed his, and I let out a gasp when I saw the ring. The pale pink oval diamond was breathtaking. It was surrounded by a row of smaller diamonds that continued down both sides of the platinum ring.
I quickly looked back up into Reed’s eyes. “I’ve…I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life. The diamond is pink! It’s breathtakingly beautiful.”
Reed’s smile just about knocked me over. “It was my grandmother’s ring. After I graduated from college, my mother gave it to me in hopes that I would someday find a love like my grandparents shared.”
After he pulled the ring out of the box, he gently took my hand in his. I quickly wiped away my tears and looked into his piercing blue eyes. They sparkled like diamonds, and I didn’t think I’d ever seen such happiness in them before. The moment he put the ring on my finger, he gently placed his hand on my face, bringing my lips to his, and he began to kiss me.
“I found that love with you. You’ve made me the happiest man on earth, Courtney. I love you so very much.”
I launched myself into his arms and started kissing him like a crazed fool. I’m engaged! I’m engaged to the man of my dreams! And it’s a pink diamond. Holy shit. Best. Day. Ever.
Reed started laughing as he pulled back and l
ooked into my eyes. “Are you happy, angel?”
My heart was pounding so loud that I was sure Reed could hear it. “I’ve never been so happy in my life. I just…I just don’t even know what to say, Reed. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and…” I looked down at the beautiful ring on my finger. “And it’s a pink diamond!”
Reed started laughing. “Wesley told me you would freak when you saw it. I just hope I didn’t move too fast, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it more special. The moment just seemed so right.”
I moved to where I was sitting on him, straddling him. I felt his erection, and I was pretty sure my panties were soaking wet at this point. “You could have asked me anywhere, and it would have been perfect because it would be you asking.”
Reed kissed me on the tip of my nose and whispered, “Do we go back and tell everyone?”
Without even thinking, I blurted out, “Yes! With this news and Whitley being pregnant, I think we need to—” I slammed my hands up to my mouth. Oh shit.
Reed’s eyes grew bigger. “Whitley told you? Oh…Layton is gonna be pissed. She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”
I dropped my hands and tilted my head. “Wait, you know? Layton told you?”
Reed’s expression dropped. “Um…”
I pushed him back until he was lying down. “What do you mean, Layton is gonna be pissed? He told you? Neither one of them was supposed to tell anyone.”
Reed started laughing and pushed his hips into me. The friction his hard-on was causing instantly had me needing more. I began grinding my hips into him, and he let out a long, soft moan.
“Fuck,” Reed hissed.
I threw my head back and whispered, “Yes, please.”
Before I even knew what was happening, Reed was standing us up, pulling my panties down, and then unzipping his pants. He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around him as he backed me up against the giant elm. The moment he brought me down onto him, filling my body, I felt instant relief.
Broken Dreams Page 11