by Sue MacKay
‘Is this the man who became your stepfather?’ Warm brown eyes were turned on him.
‘The one and only. If I couldn’t have my dad, then he was the next best option. Not once did I feel different or not a part of the family that was to come.’ He’d got lucky. Twice. ‘I was better off than some kids at school who had their real fathers.’
‘I’m glad. Guess that’s why you’re determined to be there for our young man.’ Tamara stretched up to kiss him.
A gentle, sweet kiss that set his heart racing. They were at the end of the promenade. Alone apart from one dog and a sky full of screeching seagulls.
With his hands on her shoulders he held her gently. ‘Not the only reason.’ His stomach lurched. Too fast, man. But waiting wasn’t an option. There was so much to sort out and not a lot of time. ‘Tam, will you marry me?’
Just as well his hands were holding her shoulders. He got the feeling she’d have dropped in a heap otherwise.
She was staring at him. ‘Did you just propose? To me?’
Ouch. Not rushing to accept, then. ‘Yes, Tam, you. I want to marry you. For us, and for our child.’
‘For us?’ The words were strangled.
He nodded as he smiled away his worry and gave her reassurance. ‘Yes, us. We’ve practically agreed to live together, to raise our child jointly, to move around the world as a couple. Marriage would be the icing on the cake.’
Her shoulders sagged into his hands. Her mouth dropped. ‘Oh.’
‘I care about you, Tam. A lot. I want this. A family, you.’ Conor spilled out the words in a rush of honesty. ‘You’ve got under my skin and I can’t ignore you. You make me hope for more, and believe anything’s possible. I think we can have a wonderful future together.’
Her eyes widened and she straightened. ‘Truly?’ Doubt lurked on her mouth, in her face.
‘This is not something I’d make up.’ He wasn’t her ex. He had no hidden agenda. He needed to remember that, and give her time. ‘All I want is to make you happy. That’ll make me happy too.’
‘You care for me that much?’ Her acceptance was sinking in. It was there in the softening of her mouth, the colour turning her cheeks pink, her hands spreading across his chest.
‘Absolutely.’ Was he falling in love with Tam? Yep, he could be. ‘I don’t want you thinking I’m out to hurt you in some way. I’d never do that.’
‘You don’t think you’re rushing things? It’s only been a week since we found out we’re joined together for ever by a baby.’ She was stalling. Listening to her heart and her head?
‘I tend to make up my mind and act on it immediately. But I can say that from that first night together you’ve been residing in my mind, taunting me, distracting me, making me sleep-deprived, and it has taken learning about baby to tease that wide open. That, and hearing about your past and why you are who you are.’
‘That was important?’
‘Absolutely. I like to understand what makes people tick, and with you it was becoming a full-time need. I could see you hurting at times, and how you hid a lot from everyone by putting up insurmountable barriers, and yet you came to me so willingly that night.’ Conor’s thumbs caressed her shoulders. ‘I take that as a compliment.’
Her face softened as she studied him. ‘Yes. Let’s get married.’ She blinked, stared at him. She hadn’t thought this through. She’d be thinking she’d made the same rash decision as she had with her ex.
‘Tamara?’ He shook her gently, his heart heavy, knowing she needed space. ‘You’re sure? If you want a few days to think about it I’ll understand.’
‘You haven’t spun false hope around me to suck me in. I don’t want to live on the edge of something I might have, never knowing if I will actually get it or not. I need honesty and reality.’ Rising up onto her toes, she whispered, ‘This isn’t how I envisioned accepting a proposal, but I will marry you, Conor Maguire.’ And then she sealed her words with a kiss like no other she’d given him. It was full of hunger, and longing, and commitment, and caution.
He didn’t recognise love in the mix.
Patience, man, patience. He hadn’t exactly been brimming with love either. That was still working its way into his psyche, and could turn around and disappear before reaching its full potential. Those old gremlins were still in charge.
Conor was the one to break away, his chest rising and falling as he breathed fast, feeling out of sorts and not sure where they were headed. Other than bed some time later. ‘What is it about you that turns me into a raging sex maniac? If we were anywhere but on a public beach with half of the city wandering past, I’d have you naked so fast it would be crazy.’
Tamara was swaying on her feet, and he caught her to him. She croaked in a heat-hazed voice, ‘Let’s go home. We’re not crazy, not at all.’
But maybe they were. Nearly having sex on the promenade. Agreeing to marry with no lead-in time and no declarations of love. Having a baby after one night together. What the heck? Might as well go for broke. ‘Tomorrow after work we’ll visit a jeweller’s shop so you can choose an engagement ring.’
‘No.’ Tamara whipped around to stare at him. ‘Sorry, but I don’t want an engagement ring.’
His mouth soured. She’d changed her mind already. Shortest engagement on the planet. ‘Not now? Or not at all?’
‘I didn’t put that very well. What I mean is all I’d like is a wedding ring. A solid band with maybe one stone. A sapphire or ruby. Not a blazing big diamond.’ She shuddered. ‘I want this to be about you and me. We’re not flashy, or false. We care about each other, about our baby. We’re starting our joint life. You and me,’ she repeated. Her eyes were pleading with him to understand.
‘Got it in one.’ He swung her up in his arms and held her close to kiss her. Got it in one. ‘You and me and our son.’
CHAPTER TEN
TAMARA FOLDED THE dishcloth and hung it on the door of Conor’s oven. ‘Done.’
‘Then it’s time to call Mam and give her the good news.’
Her heart gave one hard kick. It had to happen, but tonight? When she was still getting her head around being engaged to Conor? Telling other people would make it more real.
It is real.
She swallowed down on her apprehension. ‘Will anyone else be there?’ Any one of those sisters he obviously adored.
‘It’s a family tradition to have brunch at Mam and Dave’s house if you’re anywhere near Dublin on Sundays. At least one of my sisters and her brood will be there.’
‘Will your mother be happy about you marrying a Kiwi?’ Nerves cranked up. Conor’s mother might think she’d keep her son from returning to Ireland permanently.
‘Why ever not? I suspect she might’ve been hoping I would meet someone while I was away.’
‘That’s okay, then.’ She wished. And picked up the photo frame with the image of their baby in it. Her finger skimmed over the glass while her heart knocked on her ribs.
‘Tam, I’d like you to talk to her. Everyone there for brunch will be lining up to say hello.’
She pushed her chin forward. Might as well leap in and get it over. ‘Sure.’
‘Get used to it. You’re about to become part of a large, whacky family. They’ll have a load of questions for us.’ He laughed. ‘Not that any one of them will wait for an answer before going on to the next question.’
‘You look happy when you’re talking about them. Have you ever been homesick since leaving Ireland?’
‘I’ve had massive bouts at times, but I haven’t been ready to hop on a plane and head home. The reason I left was still there.’ Conor kissed her on the nose. ‘You’ve turned my life around and now I’m ready for anything.’
Including marrying her. Was he certain about that? Or would he rethink his proposal when he’d had tim
e to contemplate all the ramifications? Tamara returned the kiss, but on his stubbly chin, and then bit down on the flick of desire heating her low down. ‘About all those questions...’
‘The ones we don’t have answers for yet? Don’t worry. I’ll tell everyone to stop being nosy and that we’ll get back to them.’
But she did worry. ‘They’ll listen?’
Conor shrugged. ‘Not at all.’ He opened his laptop, booted it up. ‘That’s family for you. They know no boundaries.’
A knot of anxiety formed. ‘We’ll tell your family, but I’d like to keep our engagement from everyone else for a bit longer.’ Everything was happening too fast, rushing at her from all directions. ‘I need to take a breath, get used to being with you, our baby, getting married, possibly moving to Sydney. There’ll be so many questions and...’ she lifted her hands in the air ‘...I don’t have all the answers.’
‘And you can’t function properly without answers. Fair enough. Your wish is my command.’ He said it all through a gut-tightening, desire-expanding smile.
She threw herself against him. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured before kissing him, deep and hard.
‘What for?’ Conor grinned when he came up for air.
‘Being you.’ She smiled back before leaning in for another searing kiss.
The laptop needed rebooting by the time they were ready to make the connection with Dublin.
‘Junior here...’ Conor’s hand splayed across her tummy ‘...will turn up thinking it normal to do lots of exercise at odd hours of the day and night.’
Tamara chuckled as she spread her hand on top of Conor’s much larger one. ‘We do give him plenty of workouts.’
Conor tapped the internet icon. ‘Let’s do this.’
Oh, boy. She parked her butt on a stool, fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist. Not ready. So not ready. Was she rushing into this without checking out everything about Conor? But, then, how did she do that? And did she really want to? It seemed underhand. But last time she’d trusted a man she’d cared for deeply she’d overlooked so many signs.
‘Hey, Mam, how are you?’ Happiness radiated out of Conor’s eyes as he talked to his mother for a few minutes. Then he shifted the laptop so she was in the picture too. ‘I’ve got someone I want you to meet.’
A gazillion faces appeared before her, each person pushing someone else out of the way. The cacophony of excited, almost incomprehensible Irish voices was deafening and reminded Tamara of a visit to a bird sanctuary in Queensland many years ago. How did anyone in this family know what was going on when they were all talking at once?
Conor reached for her hand, held it firmly. ‘Tamara is my fiancée.’
Her mouth fell open. Not going for a slow lead-in, then. ‘Ah, um, hi, everyone.’
‘Hello, Tamara. You look gorgeous.’
‘What do you see in our lump of a brother?’
‘Hey, Tamara, are you a Kiwi?’
‘Conor,’ his mother shrieked. ‘How long have you been seeing her and not told me?’
He leaned close to Tamara and whispered, ‘See? Another reason why I came Down Under.’
She shook her head at him. ‘You have no idea how fortunate you are.’ How could he have left Ireland? His family? She’d never have been able to do it.
‘You’re not saying much,’ someone, female, said.
‘I’m surprised any of you can hear a thing,’ she quipped.
‘Meet the family,’ Conor’s mum responded. ‘It’s like this all the time.’
Conor held his hand up. ‘Okay, guys, shut up for a moment. Tamara and I have things to discuss with you and I only want to say them once.’ Instant silence descended.
‘Unbelievable.’ Tamara smiled.
‘Yep,’ he mouthed in her direction, before leaping right in with the next load of news. ‘We’re having a baby in six months. We’re also probably moving to Sydney.’
Conor continued yabbering to his family, and the level of voices coming back at him was rising fast. Back to normal, Maguire style. Warmth trickled through her. By carrying Conor’s baby she’d become a part of this family. So far they hadn’t pulled faces or called her names. It had never ceased to shock her how someone who only recognised her from camera shots or headlines in the paper could come up and talk to her as though she was known to them. Worse, they often had plenty of advice for her, from how to get back on her feet to what she should do to pay back all those millions Peter had stolen. And now this. Amazing.
‘Tamara, welcome to our family. You don’t know how thrilled I am about this news. And you must call me Judy.’ Conor’s mother spoke directly to her. ‘I guess we’d better go, but I’ll talk to you again soon.’
‘Th-thank y-you.’ A tear sneaked down her cheek at the simple kindness shown her by a stranger. Conor’s mother, until fifteen minutes ago unknown to her. Things really were looking up. With such a wonderful family, who appeared genuine, Conor must be the real deal, surely?
Leaning her head against his shoulder, Tamara ran her fingers over his chest. ‘Your mother’s lovely. So are Dave and all those sisters and their families.’
‘You should try contacting your mother again.’
She stiffened. ‘What’s the point? She’ll only tell me I’ve made yet another mistake and that I have to get on with it. Without her.’
‘When did you last talk? As in really talk?’
‘The day after Dad’s funeral.’ A lifetime ago. ‘The fraud squad had just left the house with a vanload of cartons containing private papers from Dad’s study.’
He started rubbing her back softly. ‘You’re beginning to look pregnant.’ Warmth stole through her as he cupped her breast.
She placed a hand on her small baby bump. ‘Mum’s sister came out from Australia for Dad’s funeral. She had plenty to say about me, blamed me for the fact that Mum was no longer wealthy and would have to live in relative poverty.’
‘Your mother didn’t disagree?’
‘That’s the funny thing. She did at first. Stuck up for me, saying there was no way I could’ve known what had been going on. She even gave me hugs and talked about Dad as we’d known him before the dementia stole his mind. It was a sad yet funny morning. We looked through photos of the three of us on holidays, at functions, doing the things families do. Of course, we had no idea what would go down later.’
‘When did it all change?’
‘The next morning my aunt went to town to buy some clothes. That’s when the reality struck, first her and then Mum. She came storming in and threw all the photos on the floor, jumped on them and screamed at me for losing everything. She’d never qualified at anything and bemoaned Mum’s luck at finding a rich man. Dad had always kept them both in funds. That day the credit cards simply didn’t work any more.’
‘And it was all your fault.’
‘Apparently. Mum didn’t want to believe my aunt so they went out and tried to buy a bracelet at the local jewellers. Same result, and the end of my relationship with my mother. She went on a rampage, visiting fashion shops to try on clothes she could no longer afford, leaving them in piles on the shop floors. It was all there in the papers that night. They flew to Australia the next day and I’ve never heard from Mum since. I have rung her often, only to be hung up on.’
‘She cut you off when you’d done nothing more than trust the wrong man, a man her husband had believed in enough to hand over the company’s operations to.’ Conor tightened his hold around Tam, and she leaned into him. ‘Would you want your mother to know about the baby and take part in his life if she could get past what happened?’
‘Yes.’ Had he lost his mind? ‘Of course I want Mum to be his grandmother in more than name.’ She wasn’t exactly the perfect role model for a mother, but she was her mother.
‘Want to try anothe
r phone call?’
‘And take another king hit? No, thanks.’ But she would, just not tonight after that wonderful session talking with Conor’s family.
‘I’ve got a suggestion.’
She started to object.
‘Hear me out. Write to her, tell her about us and the baby, and how we’re moving to Sydney. Put it all on paper, including how you’d like her to be part of the family.’
‘She’ll tear it up.’
‘Or she’ll set it aside and keep going back to stare at the envelope with your writing on it until she can’t resist it and gives in to curiosity.’
‘She’ll get rid of it the moment she sees my scribble.’ Or would she?
‘She might not. Or she might, but it would be worth the risk to get your mother back.’
A soft silence fell over them. Conor continued holding her close, and she continued soaking up the warmth he brought her. ‘I’ll think about it.’
* * *
Monday morning and bedlam. ED was overrun with year-three children from Parnell Primary. Parents were kept busy, trying to control the little getaways who seemed more intent on destroying the department than getting treated for bee stings.
‘Tell me how so many kids were stung?’ Conor shook his head at the chaos before turning back to a harassed teacher who also had stings on her arms and face. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it.’
‘Me neither. We were out on the field, playing soccer, when a swarm came up the bank and straight into our midst. It’s the first time I’ve seen bees swarming and it was scary.’
‘I bet.’ He’d never experienced a swarm. ‘To have all those children out there, being attacked, would’ve been a nightmare.’
‘I’m grateful only two had serious reactions. We did get most of the kids into the swimming pool quick smart.’