by Bea Paige
Just at the point I find that I am losing myself entirely to the kiss, Bryce pulls away.
“I’ve wanted to taste that damn smart mouth of yours ever since you first talked back. For someone full of ice, your kiss is like fire, Louisa.” He smiles at me then, letting out a small laugh to show me he means no harm by his words.
My hands fall away as he leans back down and begins massaging my legs again. I can’t help but notice the bulge in his slacks and a small voice of warning pulls at my consciousness. A voice that is telling me this is what these men do, that I am no different from any other girl who has melted under their touch. But I am distracted again by the featherlight touch of Max’s fingers as they trail over the side of my breast. I turn to face him, can see the desire in his eyes as he slants his mouth over mine. He pulls at my bottom lip with his teeth, the tips of his finger now grazing over my hardened nipple. Somewhere in the back of my head, a quiet voice gets louder. I am making out with three men, three men who had promised not to make a pass at me. Three men who I am beginning to grow fond of and who are now ruining our blossoming friendship with their need to fuck.
“I can’t…” I say into his mouth, the little voice in my head stronger now. “Stop!” I push away at Max and his eyes open in surprise. I stare at Bryce, anger mixing with an overwhelming sadness that boils inside my chest. “Stop,” I say again. He immediately drops his hands away. He too looks at me with a mixture of horror and confusion.
“Louisa, we didn’t mean…” Hudson starts, but I turn on him. Holding my hand upright, I ignore the pain in his green eyes.
“Don’t say another fucking word,” I shout. I don’t know why I’m so angry, I had been enjoying it, I had wanted them to touch me and yet, I am angry at them for going back on their word, for treating me like all the rest.
They’re using you. They’ve planned this all along. You’re no different from all the other women they’ve fucked. You’re nothing but a piece of meat to them. They just want you for sex, for what they can get out of you. Just like those countless number of men who have used your mum.
I stand up, tears pricking at my eyes. “You promised you wouldn’t. I am not like all the rest… I am not like my mother,” I whisper.
“Louisa, it isn’t like…” Hudson starts. But I can’t look at him, I can’t look at any of them. Instead, I run from the room, angry tears pouring down my face.
Chapter Ten
The next morning, I wake up groggy and irritable but mostly sad. I’ve spent most of the night going over and over what happened, and I am alternating from being extremely pissed off, to acutely turned on, to incredibly, desperately sad. Most women my age would have jumped at the chance for such an encounter with the Freed brothers. A night of carnal pleasure. God, I have no doubt that it would have been pleasurable. It’s just I don’t want to be used like that. I won’t be used and discarded like my mother has been countless times. Besides, they promised not to touch me, to respect my wishes, and they’ve broken that promise, just like Mum has done time and time again when she assures me she’ll stop drinking.
There’s a sharp knock at the door. “Louisa, I need to speak with you.”
It’s Hudson. His voice sounds pinched, guarded, but I don’t care. He has no right to sound pissed off, none at all. I get up and pull the door open, wrapping my arms around my chest.
“Can I come in?”
“If I said no, you would do it anyway, so what’s the point.”
Hudson swipes a hand through his hair, narrowing his eyes at me. Today they look more blue than green, like a tempestuous sea. There are dark circles under his eyes too and I feel a sense of satisfaction knowing he hasn’t slept well either.
“Well, what is it?” I snap. Defence is the best form of offense. I’d learnt that particular trick many years ago.
“I see the Ice Queen is back on form again.” His voice is stiff, cold.
“Whatever.”
“I’ve just had a call from the resort manager, Bastian. He asked us how you were getting on. We ended up having quite an interesting conversation, actually.”
“Oh?” I say, shifting uncomfortably on my bed.
“Yes. Bastian explained there has been an unusual withdrawal of cash from the card that was given to you to buy supplies. He wanted to know whether we authorised it, given we are funding the credit.”
“The money on the card belongs to you?” I ask, my palms clammy. Shawna had said that the company credited the cards, not the individual holidaymakers. Oh God.
“Yes, that money does indeed belong to me and my brothers, Louisa. Bastian may be the resort manager, but my brothers and I own it.”
“Own what?” I say, feeling confused. What does he mean?
“Brothers Freed own the resort. We don’t like being stolen from.”
“You own the resort?” My eyes widen as my hands begin to tremble. It doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Yes. What I want to know is why have you stolen from us?” Hudson settles next to me on the bed, watching me carefully, but he doesn’t try to fill the gaping silence that has descended.
I drop my head in my hands. “I’m sorry.”
“So, you did take the money, then? Why, Louisa?”
“To give to my mother. She’s in trouble with a loan shark. She needed the money. I didn’t have any other choice,” I whisper. I feel completely and utterly defeated. Hudson has every right to have me sacked, or worse, have me arrested for theft.
“We can come to an arrangement,” he says, laying a gentle hand on my knee.
My head snaps up, and through the haze of my tears, I can see Hudson staring at me. “What kind of arrangement?” I say carefully.
“You come to the cabin with us today for Christmas and we forget about the money you stole.”
“What?!” I say, pulling my leg out from under his hand, cool air replacing the warmth of his touch. I stand, backing away from him. “You want me to come to the cabin today on Christmas Eve like some hooker, so you and your brothers can have your way with me over five hundred pounds? Is that all you think I am worth?” Five hundred measly pounds? I’m pretty sure my mother gets more than that for her ‘favours’, as she likes to call them.
“No, that is not what I or my brothers think you are worth. This isn’t coming out the way I planned…” Hudson stalks towards me, and I find myself caught up between him and the wall. “What I meant was, we’re willing to ignore the theft if you are willing to spend Christmas with us in the cabin. We have no expectations of you, apart from your company and friendship. I promise you, Louisa, that’s all we want.”
I remember the previous evening and laugh almost hysterically. “That wasn’t the impression I got last night.”
“Last night got out of hand. It won’t happen again,” he says, taking another step closer to me. He’s got that look on his face, the one that makes me think he is going to devour me any moment now.
“Where have I heard that before?” I laugh. Even now, even when he is trying to convince me that neither he nor his brothers will touch me again, he is still moving towards me as though he’s going to do just the opposite. And the most fucked-up thing of all is that a large part of me wants his touch, wants to be adored by Max and Bryce too, even after everything I’ve said.
“And what happens if I say no?”
Hudson sighs. “Then we will arrange for flights to get you back home.”
The air suddenly leaves my chest and I go lightheaded at the thought of having to return home. What would I be going home to? A pissed mother, her endless trail of dirty old men, and a mess I want nothing to do with but have got drawn into nonetheless. Looking at Hudson now, thinking about last night and the growing feelings I have for the brothers, just makes me even more confused. I’ve stolen from them, I’ve been rude, defensive, jealous of the women they’ve been with, attracted to all three of them and yet done nothing but push them away time and again. Self-preservation is a fucking messed up bitch.
&n
bsp; “Will you contact the police?” I say. I hate the fact my voice sounds so small, weak. I hate that Hudson is the one who is making me feel that way, but most of all I despise my mum for putting me in this position at all.
“That depends on your answer, Louisa.”
Tiny black spots start to speckle my vision at the thought that I could get into trouble with the police. It is mortifying enough I have stolen from them, but to be charged with theft on top of that as well. A stint in prison is not what I want to see in my future.
“Louisa, are you okay?” Hudson asks, concern creasing his brow. He reaches out, but I flinch away from his touch.
“Don’t,” I say, resigned now. “I will go with you, not because I want to, but because I can’t bear to go home, and because I don’t want to go to prison,” I add, moving into the middle of the room and crossing my arms defensively. I hear the spite in my voice and cringe internally. Even when saying the words, I know I am not being entirely honest with myself.
“Then you’ll need to pack. We’re leaving in half an hour,” Hudson says, his voice clipped, on edge.
“Half an hour?” I step out of his way as he walks past me. He stops at the door, turns around and considers me a moment. “Yes, Bryce and Max have been out this morning and got everything we need for a few days away. Believe it or not, we are able to put together a pretty good Christmas dinner,” he says, attempting to lighten the conversation.
I narrow my eyes at him. “I don’t care about your skills as chefs. I won’t be eating it anyway.”
“Fine,” he snaps. “Just be ready in ten.”
Chapter Eleven
The atmosphere in the car is as frosty as the layer of snow covering the winding mountain road. Bryce is driving, Max up front with him. Hudson is sitting on the back seat next to me. I haven’t said a word since leaving the chalet, despite both Max and Bryce trying to make friendly conversation. I don’t care. I am upset and angry and I feel betrayed. I thought we were friends. Stupidly, I had begun to believe that they cared about me, that they didn’t just see me as a piece of flesh, but as a person. Then last night they caught me in a vulnerable state and tried to seduce me and now, this morning, Hudson has blackmailed me into going with them on this stupid bloody trip.
“Not much longer, the cabin is about ten minutes away,” Max says, turning to face me. I don’t bother to answer him, I just keep my eyes fixed on the view. Below, I can see the resort that the brothers Freed own getting smaller and smaller, the peaks of the chalet roofs and hotel disappearing the higher we climb. I still can’t quite believe they own the damn resort. I mean, the information kind of jars with the fact they were all brought up in a care home. That sounds really shitty of me, I know. Why can’t three boys from a care home grow up to be successful businessmen? It’s just in my experience, a shitty upbringing usually means a shitty life. In a different state of mind, I am sure I would have found the view beautiful and thought very differently. As it is, I feel a cold, empty, hollow space inside where my heart should be.
A couple more miles up the road, Bryce takes a left turn. The snow is deeper on the side road, but not deep enough that the 4x4 can’t manage to traverse it without too much trouble. We pull up outside a small, single-story wooden cabin that has a wraparound porch. It sits nestled in the crook of the mountainside. Over to the left of the cabin is a forest of evergreen trees that fall away and down the side of the mountain. There are piles of logs stacked up on the porch and icicles hanging from the corner of the roof. Bryce jumps out of the car and opens the door for me.
“Here we are. Welcome to Petite Cabane,” he grins.
“Thanks,” I mumble, following Bryce across the crunching snow and inside the cabin whilst Hudson and Max fetch our luggage and supplies from the trunk.
Inside, the cabin is a smaller version of the chalet back in the resort. It has the same layout with a kitchen on one side and a small living room on the other, but instead of a flight of stairs separating the space, there is a single door. I assume that just beyond are the bedrooms and bathroom. It is a cute space, homely, cosy even, with red throws and pillows that match the kettle, toaster, and utensils hanging from little hooks in the kitchen.
“There are two bedrooms through the door. Take the one on the left. Hudson, Max and I will share the other room.”
“There are only two bedrooms? I’ll sleep on the couch,” I say quickly.
“Absolutely not,” Hudson says as he enters the cabin, a large box in his hands. “You’ll take the room Bryce suggested.”
“But…” I start to protest.
“No buts, do as you're told, Louisa,” Hudson insists, giving me a look.
“Fine, have it your way. I’ll just go unpack,” I say ungratefully. I take my overnight bag from Max who has just entered the cabin and head through the door off the kitchen. On the other side, there is a corridor with two bedrooms facing each other. The one on the left has a huge king-sized bed that’s big enough for several adults to have a small orgy, on the other a similar-sized room with a normal-sized double and a single bed in the corner. I wonder which of the brothers will share the bed and who is going to get the single. At the end of the corridor is the bathroom. When I push open the door I am surprised to find a large room with a pretty impressive jacuzzi bath in one corner and a large walk-in shower in the other. In the centre, between the two, is a sauna. Closing the bathroom door, I go back to my room and put away the few items of clothing I’ve brought with me into the large wooden wardrobes, then sit on the bed, wondering what to do next.
“Louisa, do you have a minute?”
I turn my head to see Hudson standing in my doorway. He has his hands pushed into the pockets of his jeans and a strange expression on his face.
“Fine,” I sigh, not really in the mood but knowing I’m going to have to listen whether I want to or not.
Hudson walks in the room and shuts the door behind him. He leans against the door and closes his eyes for a moment before swiping a hand through his hair.
“Why don’t Bryce and Max know about the money I stole?” I ask him before he can make up some story I don’t want to hear. I know he hasn’t told them, Bryce and Max are acting like I wanted to come and wasn’t bribed into coming.
“Because I didn’t tell them.”
“Well that’s obvious, but why didn’t you tell them?”
Hudson pinches his nose and gives a heavy sigh. “They wouldn’t have agreed to me using that piece of information to get you here.”
“I see.”
“I don’t think you do. From the moment you walked out on us last night, I knew you wouldn’t have come along, no matter what any of us said. I did the only thing I could think of to get you to agree to come here…”
“So, you decided to blackmail me?”
“No,” he starts. “I mean, it might seem like that, but I would never have sent you home or called the police.” Hudson pushes off the door and comes to sit by me on the bed. He doesn’t try to touch me or sit so close that he invades my personal space and I am glad of it.
“This isn’t normal behaviour for me, Louisa. I swear to you, I am not normally such an arsehole.” He looks at me and I raise my eyebrows. “Okay,” he says, holding his hands up. “You think I’m a womaniser, I am. You think I treat women badly, perhaps I do in the long run. But in the moment, when I make love to a woman, she is all that exists in the world. I am not a selfish lover, Louisa. Neither are my brothers. We worship women. Last night we would have worshipped you too.” My heart does a flip-flop in my chest at his words and I curse myself, yet again, for being so damn mixed up when it comes to these men.
“What about respecting a woman? What about friendship, love? What about those things, Hudson?”
“Those are like the holy fucking grail for me. For Bryce and Max too,” Hudson says.
“Sex isn’t everything,” I whisper.
“But it’s all I know. At least it was until…”
“Until what?�
��
“Until I met you. Until we met you.” Hudson takes in a shuddering breath and I have the sudden urge to reach across to him, to pull him into my arms. But I don’t. I still don’t know whether this is all a game, another ruse to get me into bed. Isn’t this what he does, what they all do?
“How do I know this is not one of your tricks?”
“It’s not. I know you may find that hard to believe after what you’ve heard about us, what you’ve seen, experienced. But this is me being honest. Completely and utterly honest. You’ve got under my skin. I know Max and Bryce feel the same. They were gutted to have upset you last night.”
“All three of you? But there’s only one of me, do you always share?” I laugh, and even though I’m pretending to be relaxed about it, really my stomach is full of butterflies that I don’t want to acknowledge.
“Never, but we’d be willing to share you if you’re willing to have us. We wanted you to come here to Petite Cabane, so that we could just be with each other without distraction, without everything else getting in the way. Does that make sense? This is alien to us too.”
I can see the raw emotion on his face. I consider Hudson’s words. If this is all an act, then he’s a damn fine actor. “It’s hard for me to trust people, Hudson. I’ve been let down over and over again.”
“I can see that,” he says. “Perhaps that’s why we’re all drawn to you, we understand what it feels like.”
“Truly, I am sorry about the money. I feel sick every time I think about it.”