I covered his hand with mine. “It’s easier with you there.”
He rested his chin on my head. “Ditto.”
Our set was toned down for the Sunday crowd, which wasn’t nearly as rowdy as the night before. It was still bigger audience than we had pulled in the week before, so I counted it as a win. Gay didn’t say much about anything, from our set to my outfit, as we collected our checks. She also had nothing to say when we left together that night.
Jonah pulled me close for a hug as we reached my car. He slipped a ten in my hand for gas to get me home.
“Jonah, no,” I protested, but he wouldn’t take it back.
“You need to get home,” he said as he handed me the frog. “You can pay me back with lunch sometime.”
My eyes met his. “I will,” I promised. And I meant it.
A kiss hung between us, but we managed to resist. He got into his truck. I got into my car. We headed off in separate directions for the rest of the week.
Mama was asleep when I got in, as was Cody. I put the frog in his bed with him before I lay in my own bed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the country boy who had landed into my life like a dream.
Cody was up early the next morning, happily chattering about his newest froggy friend. He hopped in my bed, holding it up to my face. “Mama! Froggy!”
I giggled as I sat up. “Where did you get that, Mr. Man?”
He thought about that for a minute. “The tooth fairy!” he answered. I hugged him tight. We headed to the living room to eat cold cereal and watch cartoons, something we did together every day, no matter how late I happened to come in the night before.
It was as sacred a ritual as getting him dressed. I would slip him out of his jammies before employing the dreaded Tickle Monster. He ran through the trailer, giggling loud as I chased after him, all the way to the bathroom. He played with his toys while I bathed him and washed his hair, soaping it up into a faux hawk and singing tunes to him until he was singing along.
He was my little rock star.
I had just gotten him dressed when my text alert went off. My breath caught as I read the caller ID. “I’m hungry. Pay up.”
It was Jonah. And he wanted to see me again. I sent back, “LOL,” immediately, just in case it was a joke. Then added, “Where would you like to eat?” just in case it wasn’t.
The phone rang almost instantly.
“Hey, I was kind of kidding, actually. I am taking care of my sister. I can’t get away.”
“Oh,” I said, more disappointed than I cared to admit.
He must have heard it because he offered, “Picnic? I’ll bring Leah. You bring Cody. It’d be perfect.”
I glanced at Cody, who was playing with his new froggy friend on the living room floor. “I don’t know.”
“We’re band mates,” he pointed out. “Family for the next six weeks. I doubt it’ll traumatize them terribly if we meet for a picnic in the park once.”
I second-guessed my agreement all the way to the bank, where I cashed my check, and the market, where I picked up food for the picnic. I headed back to the trailer to cook the food and change into something more presentable. I was at the park ten minutes early, but that was fine. Cody wanted to play on the swings anyway.
We were having the time of our lives when I heard someone shout my name. I turned to see a young, blonde girl dragging Jonah by the hand across the sloping green. She had the biggest smile on her face as she trotted, breathlessly, to greet me.
“Leah, right?” I said and the young girl nodded furiously before she threw her arms around my waist for a big hug.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Leah said. “Thank you so much for letting my big brother play with you in your band.”
I laughed. “I don’t know if I had a choice in the matter,” I said with a wink. I lifted Cody from the swings and balanced him on my hip. “This is Cody.”
Leah reached out to hold him immediately. “Oh, he’s so cute!” she exclaimed as I handed her my son. She cuddled him just like a teddy bear. “Hi, Cody. I’m Leah. This is Jonah,” she said as she referred Jonah, who reached out a hand to greet him all proper-like.
“Hey, little man,” he greeted in that deep voice. Cody’s eyes widened as he stared up at the massive guy. Finally he giggled and smiled and then turned into Leah’s neck.
“He’s kind of shy,” I said.
“So were you, but you got over it,” Jonah teased me with a grin. I nudged him in the side as we walked over to a nice, grassy patch where my blanket was already laid out. We all sat and dished out the food.
He relished his first bite of chicken. “You made this?”
I simply shrugged. “It’s like you and the music. I tinker.”
I turned to Cody, filling his plate with easy finger foods. He loved to make a mess, and I loved to enable him. He smeared his mouth with some ketchup to make it look like Jonah’s beard. “I look like you,” he told him and Jonah laughed.
“You sure do, buddy.”
Cody turned to me. “Kiss, Mama!”
I laughed as I shook my head. “You are a mess, Mr. Man,” I told Cody as I wiped his mouth clean with a large cloth, rewarding him with a big, noisy kiss that made him giggle.
“I heard you know a new song,” Jonah said to Cody, who shook his head shyly and cuddled close to my side.
“Oh, yes!” Leah said with an enthusiastic clap of her hands. “I want to hear y’all sing.” She hopped up and ran to the truck before Jonah could stop her. She was breathing hard as she lugged his guitar back with her.
“Girl!” he admonished at once, but it was clear that she was every bit as stubborn as her brother.
“Sing,” she instructed in a breathless command.
I could tell by the look on his face that he rarely refused her, if ever. He began playing “Free Bird,” which Cody recognized immediately. I sang it to him, nudging him to sing along. Finally he joined in at last. Leah encouraged him until he was singing loudly and off key.
People sitting nearby clapped for our performance, so I pulled Cody to his feet and taught him how to bow for his new fans. Leah was on her feet immediately. “Can I take him to the swings, Lacy? I’ll be real careful.”
I gave her a smile. “I know you will,” I said to the exuberant girl. I turned to Cody. “Leah is going to take you to swing. You be good, okay?”
He nodded and grabbed Leah’s hand. They walked together toward the swings, leaving Jonah and me alone as we watched.
“He’s a great kid,” Jonah said softly. “You should be proud.”
“Thanks,” I said with a smile. “Same could be said for your sister.”
Jonah glanced at Leah where she stood at the swings, pushing the toddler lightly. He adored his sister, it was clear. It only endeared him to me even more. “She’s always had this beautiful spirit,” he confided softly. “Right from the time she was born. No matter how sick she got, how many times she’s been in the hospital, there’s something about her ready to snatch joy out of the air whenever it passes by.”
I listened quietly as all the missing pieces fell into place. Now I knew why he was at the hospital. It also explained why he needed that weekly check from Gay every bit as much as I did. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Cystic fibrosis,” he stated. His matter-of-fact tone invited no pity. “She’s a fighter, though. It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if she proved all the doctors wrong and lived to be a hundred.”
His voice hitched slightly so I touched his arm. He glanced down at me, his eyes consuming my face. He brushed a stray hair from my cheek before his eyes landed on my mouth. I didn’t move away as his head descended toward mine. His lips were soft and warm as they covered my mouth at last. It was a gentle, open-mouthed kiss that warmed me to my toes.
He pulled away before it deepened. We still had the kids to consider. “Thanks for lunch,” he murmured.
I took his hand into mine. “Thanks for everything.”
I leaned again
st him as we watched our little ones play in the summer sun.
We stayed at the park for over an hour. He played catch with Cody, while I pushed Leah on the swings. It gave us some girl time. “How long have you been singing, Lacy?”
“Since I was twelve,” I answered.
“That’s how old I am!” she said.
“Oh, yeah? And what do you want to be when you grow up?”
She thought about that for a moment. “I want to be a doctor,” she finally decided. “That way I could help kids like me.”
Her answer touched my heart. “I think that’s a great idea,” I told her.
“You don’t think it’s dumb?”
“Why would I think it’s dumb?”
She shrugged. “You know. Because I’m sick.” Her eyes met mine. “The doctors say I might only live until my 20s or 30s. It’s kind of stupid to have a dream where you know it might not come true.”
I sat in the swing next to her. “People have been telling me my dream is impossible for ten years. I haven’t given up yet, and look at what’s happening. I’m on stage, singing for the biggest crowds in Austin. Who knows where it will go from here?” I glanced at her. “The best thing about having a dream isn’t whether or not it will come true, Leah. It’s having something to believe in, something to hold onto. Something that motivates you to keep reaching for the highest star. Every single great thing started as someone’s impossible dream. So no, I don’t think your dream is dumb. Living life without having a dream to believe in… that’s what’s dumb.”
She smiled at me. “That’s what I think, too,” she confessed.
“See?” I said as I scooted back in the dirt to swing along with her. “I knew I liked you.”
We bid a reluctant goodbye, but the conversation was far from over. After dinner that night, when Cody was in bed and my mother was working the late shift, Jonah called to keep me company.
“So tell me about Tony,” he drawled.
I made an obnoxious buzzer sound. “I’m sorry. That topic is not up for discussion.”
“Fine,” he relented far too easily. “Tell me about the last guy you dated.”
I chuckled. “Afraid that leaves you the same answer, Ace. There hasn’t been anyone since Tony.”
“In three years?”
“Four if you count the pregnancy,” I quipped. It still hurt. I tried not to let it show. “How about you?”
“Date-dated?” he asked, which made me think about Jacinda with a sinking stomach. “About a couple of years,” he finally answered.
“What was her name?” I asked, though I didn’t know why.
“Courtney,” he answered.
“Tell me about Courtney.”
“Not much to tell. We grew up together. Her family had a neighboring farm. Went to the same church. Went to the same school. I guess you could say we were high school sweethearts for a time. I wasn’t much for settling down back then.”
“Typical,” I chuckled. I knew he was a ladies’ man the minute I laid eyes on him. “Is that why you’re not together anymore?”
“Yes,” he answered. “She was ready for the white picket fence.”
“And you’re not?”
He took a deep breath. “It’s been a rough couple of months, Lacy. I’ve got enough on my plate dealing with the present, much less worrying about the future. I’m just trying to keep my head above water.”
I knew how that went.
“What about you?” he asked softly.
“Same, I guess. Despite what you hear, I was never fast-tracking my happily ever after when I had Cody. I was using birth control. It failed. I had to deal with it. Tony didn’t want to, and that was that.”
“Sounds like a real prince,” he sneered.
I shrugged. “In the end, I would rather have Cody than a hundred Tonys. And because of Cody, I have to be even more careful who I expose him to and what I put him through. Dating seems pointless.”
His voice was soft. “So I guess asking you to come over is out of the question.”
My breath caught. He sounded sleepy and sexy in my ear. I could almost picture him sprawled out on a bed, wearing next to nothing, inviting as hell. “Jonah,” I said softly.
His voice deepened, like a caress on my skin. “You’re a stronger person than me. I can’t imagine a life where I couldn’t touch someone… or kiss someone… or hold someone. If you told me I could never make love to anyone again, I don’t know what I would do.”
I chuckled softly. “That’s because you’re a man. You think with your penis.”
“Uh uh, baby girl,” he corrected in that irresistible drawl, using that forbidden endearment in a brand new way, that made it sexy and exciting. “Some men think with their hearts.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was everything I wanted to hear, like an elixir to my soul. I knew I had to sip gingerly. “I should probably go.”
“Okay,” he agreed, surprisingly without argument. “Same time tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I said. “You can pick the songs.”
He laughed. “You know which one I’m going to pick.”
“And you know which one I’m not going to sing,” I shot back with a smile.
“Get some sleep, darlin’,” he murmured and I trembled.
“You too,” I said before adding, “Jonah,” so soft it was nearly a whisper. I wanted him to dream about me the same way I knew I’d dream about him. I was rewarded by the growl in his voice as he bid me goodnight.
I cuddled into my bed and counted the minutes until I could see him again. I was still awake when he texted me after midnight.
“We need to talk. In person. Dinner tomorrow?”
I took a deep breath. This was it. This was the next, inevitable step. It was a date. I should tell him no. I should keep the boundaries firmly in place.
But that was just the thing about dreams. They couldn’t come true if you didn’t risk something at some point.
“You win, Ace. Tell me when and where.”
Chapter Nineteen
We agreed to meet at Southern Nights, and then Jonah would drive us to our final destination. He was mighty cryptic about where we were headed. I climbed into the passenger side of his truck. “I should probably tell you I have pepper spray and I know how to use it. So no funny business, mister.”
He crossed his heart with a smile. “Scout’s honor,” he said, so I knew he meant it.
“So where is this mystery place you’re so hot to share with me?”
He stole a glance. “It’s a bit of my past. If you can take it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “As long as I don’t have to slop any pigs, we’re fine.”
“Not today,” he promised with a chuckle of his own.
He drove us north on 183, curving around isolated country roads until he finally navigated us through an old busted fence. The forgotten road took us down a slope toward a creek shaded by a gigantic oak tree. All the colors of sunset exploded overhead as he pulled to a stop.
“This is gorgeous,” I told him, reaching in the truck bed for the picnic basket. “How’d you find it?”
“I used to own it,” he said, before folding out an old blanket next to the water’s edge. “Technically we’re trespassing. If you hear gunfire, run for the truck.”
“Great. Our first date and I’m committing a crime.” I unpacked the sandwiches and chips. “My kind of night.”
He laughed. “See what you missed by not going out with me?” He gave me a wink. “What made you change your mind about dating me anyway?”
I shrugged as I plated our food. “Cody told me to.”
“Your three year old told you to date me?”
“He’s smart for his age,” I insisted. “Actually he can’t stop talking about you. He wants a guitar now,” I grinned. He still stared at me, waiting for the truth – which I didn’t even know. “I don’t know,” I said with a shrug, handing him the plate. “I guess I realized we were missing som
ething. So what the hell, right?”
“A ringing endorsement if ever I heard one,” he said as he toasted me with his sandwich.
I sat cross-legged on the blanket, nibbling my sandwich. “It’s peaceful here,” I told him as I took notice of everything from the birds in the trees to the fish in the stream. It was simple and beautiful… just like Jonah himself. “I can see why you loved it. Must have torn you up to leave.”
He nodded. “It sucked. I really didn’t know where I was going to go from here. I grew up believing this would be my future. I’d have a house here. Planned to build it right there.” He pointed to a spot just beyond the oak tree. “I’d help my Daddy with the upkeep of the farm. I’d probably settle down and raise my own family. Everything was going to grow solid on these roots.” He looked at me. “But honestly, Lacy, I was in a holding pattern long before my dad died. It seemed like I was just waiting for my future to start. I worked here. I played in Austin. I had a good time and my future was some far-off notion that hadn’t quite fully filled itself in yet beyond some abstract details.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t imagine it. I had a burning passion for music since I was a kid. There was no question what I wanted to do, only if I could make it happen.
“How’d you know music was it for you?” he asked, as though he could read my mind.
I put my plate aside and lay back on the soft blanket beneath us. “It was in my blood from the time I was born. My dad was a singer. My mom met him in a bar. They got married a month later, when neither of them had a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I came along about a year after that, right in the middle of the struggle. Dad was trying to break into the business and Mom… well, Mom was just trying to keep our heads above water while he played a new bar night after night. God, they fought like cats and dogs. But there was always music. And music made it better. More bearable somehow.”
He, too, set his plate aside to sprawl next to me on the blanket. “Getting up on that stage the first time was the most natural thing in the world,” I continued. “It was like a refuge from all the shit. When he got this gig at the county fair, part of a tribute band that played all those songs from the 70s, he asked me if I want to sing backup. Of course I said yes because it’s more time with my dad, right?” He mirrored my sad smile as he listened. “The minute I hit that stage, something clicked. It was like… I was more comfortable there than anyplace in the world. I knew people were around, but they were safely at the edge of the lights on stage. I was in a world all my own, full of color and light and music and rhythm that just made sense. It was home.”
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