“You’ll be okay, baby.”
“Brett!” She screams my name.
“Abby, it’s just blood.”
“I cut her.”
I drag my hands through my long hair and finally let out a little smile.
“It’s not funny, asshole.”
“I’ll call your mom over.”
I pick up Daisy from the changing table and hold her little pointer finger in my hand and go for the phone. Abby nipped the end of her finger while trimming her nails and is in the middle of one of her vortex mother freak outs.
Daisy’s screams are louder than Abby’s and this is my life, folks. Two screaming, out of control girls and I couldn’t be happier.
“It’s okay, sweet baby.” I kiss Daisy’s forehead while dialing Abby’s mom and then begin singing to her.
Daisy calms down immediately and the blood is gone, but I know Abby needs her mom.
“She’s on her way,” I tell Abby when she comes down the hall in all of her disheveled mess.
Her hair's a rat’s nest on top of her head, puffy bags painted under eyes, and dried tears on her face.
“Come sit with us.” I pat the white leather couch.
Abby sits down beside me, cuddling into my side, and letting out a puff of exhaustion. Her cheek rests on my bare chest and I watch her fingers stroke Daisy’s tiny toes.
“I’m sorry, sweet girl,” she coos to her.
“What about me?” I look down to Abby.
She looks up at me.
“You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack.”
Abby gives my chest a pat and then reaches up and kisses my jaw. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Brett. I love you.”
In a matter of moments, Daisy is asleep on one side of my chest only in a diaper and Abby snoring on the other side of my chest. My life.
“I’m here.” Abby’s mom walks into the living room.
“I have them calmed down for now.” I offer her a weak grin.
Abby’s mom shakes her head and laughs out loud. “Abby was scared to clip her nails and I told her to just do it.”
“Gee, thanks, Mom.” I laugh.
“Looks like you have everything under control.”
“Yeah, I do.” I smile wider than I ever have. “I think Abby still wants to see her mom though.”
“I’ll start dinner.” She walks off to the kitchen.
It was wrong taking Abby in the club that night and then loving her every single day after. It was our dirty secret. Not my brightest moment in life, but my smartest. I would never take it back.
My life has come full circle, my heart overflowing, and everything is right in the world all because of our dirty secret.
JM Walker
Chapter 1
Aster
My heart was ripped out of my chest. Blood seeped out of the gaping hole left behind. All of the feelings I had grown accustomed to, flowed along with it. Fear that I would be alone forever. Anxiety that this was what my life had come to. Anger that I could have been left this way.
I looked down at my chest, expecting to see the hole where my heart had been but of course, there was nothing. The muscle still beat, walled in by my rib cage. All of it was in my head.
So many questions bounced around in my mind. Why? How? When?
He did this to me. He ruined what little happiness I had left. He destroyed the strength I had thought he had given me.
I stared at the tiny purple velvet box sitting on my lap. Three gold rings shone up at me. We were meant to wear them for the rest of our lives. They should have been an indication of our love for each other. But instead, they mocked me. They laughed in my face, cackling about how stupid I was. How dare I think he would stay with me for the rest of my life? How could I even imagine that we would be happy? We would have kids and grow old together. It would all work out in the end. We would be one. We would be perfect for each other.
“Stupid girl. You think I want you? I got what I came for.” He threw his head back, laughing. At me. Each sound reverberated through my soul, squeezing and killing my spirit slowly. “Look at you. You’re a mess. I deserve better. I deserve a woman who can stand at my side and lift me up. Not someone I have to take care of. You’re pathetic.”
His words ripped me apart, tearing me from the inside out. Every strand of love I had felt for Killian Rush died along with the happiness I had so desperately craved.
“Aster?”
Fresh tears welled in my eyes, threatening to escape and show just how weak I truly was.
“Aster,” the voice repeated, more firm this time.
I didn’t respond and waited for the pity to come.
Roux Anson, my best friend, a boy I had known my whole life, peaked his head into the small hotel room. “Hey, baby girl.”
My shoulders heaved, my small body shaking with impending sobs. How could this be my life? How could Killian do this to me?
“Look at me,” Roux knelt in front of me, holding my hands in his. The boy I had known, now the man I saw, smiled softly. His bright blue eyes pierced into mine. If only it was another time and place.
“He left me,” I finally said, tears now streaming down my cheeks. “Why, Roux? What’s so wrong with me that Killian couldn’t marry me? He left me at the altar.” I pulled from his grip, dropping my head in my hands. “He left me.” The words left my lips over and over but they wouldn’t register. I sat there in my wedding dress. On my wedding day. With my best friend and not the man I was supposed to marry. Killian had left the room, laughing. He had been so damn proud of himself but of course, being the shy girl I was, I only stared after him.
“Aster,” Roux said gently. His large hand cupped my nape, squeezing gently.
That touch sent a shiver through my body but it lifted some of the dread and self-doubt I had felt for…years.
“I don’t know what to do now,” I gazed up at Roux through unshed tears. “We were supposed to get married. Have kids. Spend the rest of our lives together.” My voice rose as each sentence left my mouth. “He called me a stupid girl. Stupid! How dare he! How dare he think he can belittle me.”
“That’s my girl,” Roux said. “Get angry. Hit something. That bastard doesn’t deserve your tears.”
My eyes moved back and forth over Roux’s face. I looked at him. Finally looked. I had told him for years that we knew each other before either of us was born. Our friendship was meant to be. He had been there for me through the good and bad times. And now, the worst.
Roux’s jaw clenched, his eyes darkening to a smoldering sapphire color. Clearing his throat, he sat back on his haunches. “Listen,” he shoved his hand through his shaggy sandy blonde hair. “Let’s forget this and go get shitfaced.”
“Yeah, because that will solve the problem,” I mumbled. “I need to know why.”
“He didn’t tell you?” Roux’s brows narrowed. “That asshole had the audacity to leave you on your wedding day and didn’t think you deserved to know why?”
I shook my head, fresh tears threatening to explode. “I don’t know what I did.”
“Aster, you listen to me and you listen to me good,” Roux grabbed my wrists, pulling me to my feet. “You didn’t do anything. You got me?”
“But—”
“I said, you didn’t do anything,” he repeated slowly.
“If he wasn’t happy, he should have told me.”
“You’re right but he clearly didn’t respect you enough to tell you.” Roux pinched my chin, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “If I had you, I would never leave you.”
My heart jumped. He had said those words so quietly, I wasn’t sure if I heard him right. I had always had a tiny crush on him but it never sparked into anything. I often wondered if there was something there or if he felt something for me. We were friends. Every now and again we would flirt, daydream about what it would be like if we were together. When Killian came into my life, those fantasies stopped. But now…no, it was only my emotions
. Everything inside of me screamed for me to run. It was something I had always done. Every time a situation got out of hand, I would grab my running shoes and run until my soul hurt. It was the fight or flight emotion. Killian did this to me. He won me over, swept me off of my feet in the beginning and promised that he would always be there for me.
A soft knock sounded on the door, interrupting whatever moment Roux and I were sharing.
“If it’s my parents, I don’t want to deal with them right now,” I told him, making my way to the bathroom. “I’m getting changed.”
“Don’t,” he demanded. “We’re trashing it.”
I frowned but did as I was told. I left it on. Picking up the train, I swallowed back the tears and trudged into the bathroom. Muffled voices sounded from the doorway and I prayed it wasn’t my father. I loved my parents but I couldn’t deal with their pity right now. Or rather, anyone’s. People would say how sorry they were and would ask me questions. But I wouldn’t have any answers for them.
“Aster?” Roux’s deep voice sounded from behind the door. “It’s your sister.”
I let out a sigh of relief. Opening the door, my gaze landed on my younger sibling.
Laurel held out her arms, her eyes rimming over.
A sob escaped me and I ran full tilt into her.
She wrapped me in a hard hug, holding me tight. “Oh Aster,” she whispered.
At some point, we ended up on the edge of the bed with our arms still around each other.
“I can’t believe this happened,” she said, shaking her head. Her bleach blonde curls caressed her shoulders with the movements. “Did he give you any hints that this would happen?”
“No,” I roughly wiped the tears from my cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Roux making his way to the door. “Don’t leave,” I blurted. I coughed. “Please.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, slowly turning towards me.
“Yes.” Wringing my hands in my lap, I let out a heavy breath. “I don’t want you to leave.”
He nodded once, sitting in a chair in the corner of the room.
“Aster.” Laurel gently nudged my shoulder.
“What?”
She frowned, looking between us both.
My heart jumped, the blood in my veins rushing through my body. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No reason. I just…”
“What?”
“Are you sure there wasn’t a reason for Killian to leave you?”
I jumped back like I had been burned, my mouth falling open. “What the hell are you suggesting?”
“Nothing! Nothing at all,” she shook her head again. “Forget it.” She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into another hug. “Whatever you need, I am here. No matter what.”
***
(Roux)
Judgment. It was all I could see in Laurel Jonz’s eyes. She had never liked me. Even though her sister and I had been friends our whole lives, Laurel never accepted it.
While she hugged Aster, I sat back, smirking to myself. I loved Aster. I had been in love with her since before I even knew what real love was. It also amused me to no end that it pissed Laurel off. She knew I loved her sister. She wasn’t stupid but she did hold it over my head and she was? the reason I hadn’t told Aster after all of this time.
God, I was such a pussy for allowing a tiny woman to beat me down.
Laurel glared at me.
I only chuckled, basking in the hatred she had for me. I didn’t care. Not about her. Not about anything. The only thing that mattered to me was the woman in her arms. I would end up with her. I would make damn sure of it. I just needed to figure out how.
“Thank you,” Aster said softly. She released Laurel, turning to me. “How about that date?”
“Date?” Laurel snapped.
“Chill the fuck out,” I rose to my feet. “Aster’s kidding.”
“Whoa,” Aster held up her hands. “Did I miss something?”
“It’s nothing to worry about, baby girl,” I told her, making sure she saw my smile. I didn’t want her to worry. She had enough shit to deal with. Killian would get my fist in his face and my boot up his ass. But I needed to find him first. He couldn’t disappear for long.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that I need to get out of this dress.” Aster paused. “Oh God.” Her face paled. “My honeymoon. We were supposed to leave tonight for Italy.”
“Aster.” I closed the distance between us, pulling her against me. “Shhh…breathe. Let it out but damn it, woman, breathe.”
Her hot breath seared my skin, scorching me through the thin cotton of my dress shirt. A scent of lilies wafted into my nose. Summer and sunshine. My favorite smells. Every time I hugged her, I waited a beat before I let her go. I always missed her touch. It had been home to me. Even as a small child. It was something I looked forward to on a daily basis.
“Roux,” she hiccupped on a sob. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes. You. Can.” I bit out. I was going to kill him. Every single inch. His death would be mine and I would laugh in his face while he stared up at me with fear in his eyes.
Laurel crossed her arms under her chest, jutting her chin out.
Narrowing my eyebrows, I shook my head. She better not say anything. Leave it alone, Laurel.
“Mom and Dad want to talk to you,” Laurel finally said.
Aster stiffened, forcing her small body out of my grip.
A cold shiver slid up my back, strangling me once it reached my neck. I missed her touch already.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone,” her chin trembled. “I know they’re concerned and that they mean well but I’m not ready. I don’t have any answers to the questions I know they’ll have.”
“At least let them know that you’re okay,” Laurel pushed.
“But I’m not okay!” Aster screamed, her chest heaving with every breath. “I’m not okay. I don’t know when I’ll be okay. My fiancé left me on my wedding day, Laurel.” Her body became rigid as the anger took over.
I wanted to take that away. All of her pain, I wanted it to be mine so she could be happy again.
“I know,” Laurel said gently. “But you need to talk to them.”
“And say what?” As soon as that question left Aster’s mouth, a hard knock sounded on the door.
I bit back a huff, knowing full well she was about to get bombarded with questions. It wasn’t my place but I wanted to take her out of there. I wanted to bring her to a place where she wouldn’t think about the fact that she just got left at the altar. That it was her wedding day. That she was supposed to go on her honeymoon in a couple of hours.
How Killian could leave her, I would never understand. My stomach churned, knowing full well that it had involved Laurel. It would kill Aster when she found out.
Two secrets hung over my head, tightening around my neck like a noose.
“Roux, are you going to answer the door?” Laurel asked, frowning.
Aster’s brows furrowed, her mouth setting in a grim line.
Clearing my throat, I opened the door and stood back.
“It’s about time,” their father, Francis, grumbled. He glared at me before making his way to his daughter.
Susan Jonz was the kinder of the two. She patted my hand, giving me a small smile and followed her husband.
They talked amongst themselves, asking question after question.
What happened? Did Killian say anything? Did he show any signs that this would happen? What did Aster do?
That one pissed me off. How could they think that Aster did something to deserve this? Didn’t they know their daughter?
Francis turned to me. “You’re still here? This is a family matter. You can leave.”
I bit back a curse and went to do as I was told when a soft voice stopped me.
“No, Daddy. He stays.” Aster held tight onto his hands.
“He doesn’t need to be here,” Francis argued.
“Yes he does. He’s here for me. I asked him to stay.” Aster’s voice was final.
“Fine.” Francis stared at me. The older man had never liked me. Much like Laurel, he didn’t like the fact I was best friends with his daughter. Although in his case, he had assumed I only stayed friends with Aster because I wanted something from her. I did. But the timing had never been right so I never acted on my feelings.
“You will stay right?” Aster asked me, her eyes shining.
“Of course,” I answered, my voice rough. “Anything for you.”
Chapter 2
Aster
My parents had asked the typical questions. None of which I could answer. But the one that tugged at my heart was when they asked what I had done to cause Killian to leave me? Because it was all my fault. I scoffed. Yeah. Okay.
“You all right?” Roux grabbed my hand, brushing his thumb over my palm before looking back out onto the road in front of us.
“I have no idea,” I mumbled, squeezing his hand.
Back at the hotel room, when the questions became too much, I broke down. Again.
My parents and sister ended up leaving me alone with Roux, much to their dismay. I knew my sister and father had never liked him. He was the bad boy, falling in with the wrong crowd as he got older but he had always been kind to me. He had also been the only person there for me over the years. I was awkward and shy. He even warned me when Killian first showed any interest. I smiled, remembering the fight we had.
“What are you smiling about?” Roux asked, gripping the steering wheel tight in his hand.
“You warned me about Killian. You told me that he was only using me and I never listened.”
Roux sighed. “You were in love with him. It’s hard to see past that. I’m just…”
“What?”
“I’m glad this happened now before you had kids.”
I grunted. “Me too.”
As much as it hurt, I would never want to put children through that. Fresh tears welled in my eyes. What would I do now?
Revealed: A Hype PR and Eye Candy Bookstore Anthology Page 7