“Fine, have it your own way,” he said as he opened his door and stepped outside.
First Jeremy broke a path to the front door, so walking it with the twins would be easier. Then he carried Brooke inside, coming back a few moments later for Adam. In the meantime, Leah climbed out, but the large steps she had to take were hard for her. Jeremy came down the porch steps and met her a few feet from the Jeep. “You want to do this the hard way or the easy way?”
“The easy way,” she said, looking up at him apologetically.
Sweeping her into his arms, he carried her to the porch. His chest was hard against her. His cologne was a musky pine. His lips were sensual and…
He set her down.
When she crossed the threshold into the house, she let its familiar ambience distract her from her awareness of Jeremy. The blue-and-tan tweed sofa with removable pillows at its back was old now, but still comfortable. She’d slept there when she and her mother had returned to the res to visit her grandmother. Above it hung a shield of rawhide, decorated with feathers and trade beads. The pine coffee table and end tables had been crafted by Bessie’s husband, Joe, as had the two cradles sitting side by side beside a set of bookcases topped by a snapping turtle shell. On the wall above those hung a circle of life mounted on a prayer wheel. A worn armchair was angled beside the black woodstove in the corner. To Leah’s surprise, the living room felt cooler than usual. Suspecting the problem, she went to the lamp by the sofa and turned it on, but no light shone. She guessed the electricity hadn’t been off long, otherwise it would be a lot colder in the house.
“The electricity’s out,” she said. “I’ll have to get the woodstove fired up.” Going over to her children, she looked down at them tenderly. She’d fed them before they’d left the hospital and for the moment they seemed to be content. Fortunately she had been getting ready for them for the past few months and had almost everything she needed from an infant tub to diapers.
“I’ll get the stove going,” Jeremy decided. “Is the wood out back?”
She nodded. By the time she’d taken off her coat and unzipped Brooke’s bunting, there was a rap on the door. “Come in,” she called.
“I was so worried about you. The van came back and you didn’t. What—”
Bessie Whitecloud stopped short as she stepped inside. Leah’s surrogate mother was plump, wore her gray-streaked black hair short around her face, and always had a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Her gaze now, however, was filled with concern.
Picking up her daughter, Leah carried her over to Bessie. “This is Brooke.” Motioning to the other cradle, she said, “And that’s Adam.”
“Oh, my goodness!” Bessie exclaimed. “You had the babies.” Taking Brooke from Leah, she cuddled her close and softly crooned to the little girl.
Just then the back door opened and Jeremy, carrying an armful of wood, came in from the kitchen.
“Well,” Bessie said, looking expectantly at Leah. “Hello, Dr. Winters.”
“Hi, Bessie.” He smiled at her. “What do you think of my daughter?”
“She’s absolutely beautiful.” Walking over to the other cradle, she peered down at Adam. “And he’s going to be as handsome as his dad.” With a self-satisfied smile, Bessie admitted, “I thought you might be the father.”
Leah was totally astonished.
Bessie went on. “Leah wouldn’t say, but I didn’t know who else it could be. Do you two want me to keep this hushed up?”
Jeremy dumped the wood by the stove. “Absolutely not. I’m proud to claim my children.” Opening the stove, he arranged some logs inside.
Ashamed and embarrassed, Leah felt guilty for having gotten herself into this predicament. Jeremy blatantly proclaiming his fatherhood didn’t help. When she’d discovered she was pregnant, she’d gone to Bessie, not knowing who else to confide in, worried about how others in their small community would see her. But Bessie had declared that Leah had gained everyone’s respect by the tender care she had taken of her mother and if she stayed at Laughing Horse, she might see a few frowns of disapproval at her pregnancy, but anyone who knew her would support her. Still, Leah had felt awkward, and did now, too.
Scooping up Adam, Leah held the baby in her arms, then leaned down and placed a tender kiss on his forehead. “I’m going to take Adam with me to nurse. Will you stay for a few minutes?” she asked the older woman.
“I’ll look in on you before I leave,” Bessie assured her.
Unnerved by Jeremy’s presence in her house and his proprietary attitude toward the twins, Leah took Adam into the bedroom, knowing as soon as Bessie left, she and Jeremy were going to have to face the subject of his fatherhood and what they were going to do about it.
Two
As soon as Leah took Adam into her bedroom and closed the door, Jeremy turned to find Bessie watching him. “What is it, Bessie?”
“I’m not sure how to say this, Dr. Winters—”
“Jeremy,” he corrected her.
“All right. Jeremy. When Leah came back to Laughing Horse, she wasn’t accepted here simply because she was born here. She was accepted because she earned that acceptance by her attitude toward everyone, her kindness, her sacrifice in taking care of her mother.”
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“I understand that you’re proud to be a father, but if you announce it publicly, without a promise of marriage, you’re going to make Leah very uncomfortable. The old ways are still very evident here.”
Jeremy knew that was true. When he’d first taken over Kane’s duties at the clinic, he’d been met by suspicion. Until he’d proven he was a good doctor. Until he’d proven he wanted to be caring for the Northern Cheyenne on the reservation.
“Since I didn’t know Leah was pregnant, all of this has been a shock. Suddenly I’m the father of twins. We haven’t made any decisions yet, but I’ll keep in mind what you said.”
Bessie studied him pensively, then after stopping in Leah’s room to tell her to call if she needed her, she left.
Jeremy carefully picked Brooke up from the cradle, looking down at the little girl in awe of what he and Leah had created. Her hair was the darkest brown rather than black like her brother’s. Her eyes were dark, her complexion lighter than Adam’s. He marveled at her perfect little hands and rubbed his index finger gently against her knuckles. Then he peeked into the bedroom.
The house was small, consisting of a living room, eat-in kitchen, and two bedrooms. It looked as if Leah intended to keep the babies in the bedroom with her instead of turning the spare room into a nursery. Maybe because she intended to leave soon after the twins’ birth. That thought made him push the bedroom door open farther.
He found Leah in a chair by the window, breast-feeding Adam, humming softly to him. She’d changed into a long-sleeved navy dress that opened down the front, and high socks with moccasins. She had the blanket arranged in such a way that both her breast and the baby’s head were hidden from his view.
“Do you mind if I come in?” he asked, determined to face the issues between them, determined to control his desire for this twenty-six-year-old beautiful woman who had tried to shut him out of her life.
She stopped humming and looked disconcerted. Then she made sure the blanket was covering her. “You can come in.”
She was still modest with him even though he’d kissed her body every place imaginable. Maybe she wished that night had never happened. But it had, and now they were going to deal with it.
Holding Brooke, he sat on the bed a few feet from Leah. “Why didn’t you tell me I was going to be a father?”
Lifting her gaze to his, she said, “We spent one night together, Jeremy. We’re essentially strangers. I didn’t want to burden you.”
Though he felt anger rising inside him, he was aware of the infant in his arms and kept his tone tempered. “That’s rubbish. Children are only a burden when their parents don’t want them. I do want them, more than you know, and I intend to be
a father, even if you move to Tombouctou. Are you going to leave?”
Leah adjusted the blanket. “I sent résumés out early in the month.”
Jeremy’s heart gave a lurch. “Why must you go?”
Leah turned to gaze out the window, pensively watching the falling snow. Finally turning back to him, she explained. “When my father died, my mother took me to Chicago so I could have a life away from the res—from the poverty, the unemployment, the sense of being trapped. She wanted me to be a success and reach for a dream far from here.”
Leah stopped for a few moments then went on. “She sacrificed everything for me, Jeremy. She went for a year at a time without seeing her own mother, without having close friends as she did here. More than anything, I’ve always wanted to be a curator in a museum in New York City or Washington, D.C. I can be that. I can do that for her. I can make sure her sacrifice meant something.”
“What about yourself, Leah? What about your children? What about me being a father to them? How am I going to do that if you move to New York or Washington?”
“You can see them whenever you want.”
But they both knew that wasn’t true—not if she moved away. The sudden silence was broken when Brooke began fussing, then out-and-out crying. Apparently she was hungry, too.
Leah lifted Adam to her shoulder to burp him, but when she did, the blanket fell and her breast lay exposed. Jeremy stared at its fullness, at the nipple that had given Adam nourishment. Feelings inside him ran riot and he realized they were deeper than sexual, deeper than anything he had ever felt.
Leah quickly covered herself and it was obvious she was a bit awkward with the whole procedure, but she was a natural mother. He could tell.
As Adam burped, she met Jeremy’s gaze again, her cheeks flushed. “If you take Adam, I’ll feed Brooke. He might need to be changed. I know you probably want to leave—”
Attempting to lay Brooke in her lap, he found it was difficult juggling twins, especially with his awareness of Leah’s bare breast just under the blanket. And as much as he tried to prevent it, in the exchange of babies, his arm brushed her and she jerked away. Had he hurt her? Nursing mothers were often very tender at first. Or maybe she just didn’t want him touching her.
Putting Adam to his shoulder, he said, “I’m not going anywhere, Leah. First of all, I doubt if I could get the Jeep off the res. And second, I’m not leaving you here with two newborns and no electricity. I’m going to stay and help whether you want me to or not. At least until the electricity comes back on. After I change Adam, I’ll put him in his cradle while I shovel snow. It would be a good idea when you’re finished with Brooke, if you put your feet up and rest, too.”
The flare of spirit in Leah’s eyes said she didn’t like him telling her what to do. But before she could protest, he took Adam into the living room.
Leah fed Brooke, awed by the miracle of her daughter, awed by her all-consuming feeling of love. After she’d swaddled the baby and checked on Adam now asleep, she pushed the cradles near the sofa where it was warmer. She was so tired and confused by Jeremy’s presence in her house. He wanted to claim fatherhood more vigorously than she’d ever imagined he would.
Rumors had circulated about him last March before he had taken over Kane’s duties at the clinic. She knew he was a widower, but that was about all she knew. Had he and his wife longed to have children? Is that why he was determined to be a father to Brooke and Adam?
After she tenderly kissed both Brooke’s and Adam’s foreheads, Leah stretched out on the sofa. She needed to get her energy back. She needed to feel strong for whatever came next. She needed to stop remembering Jeremy’s expression as he’d looked at her naked breast.
It seemed like only a few minutes later when she sensed someone close and opened her eyes to see Jeremy crouched beside her at the sofa. The top button of his flannel shirt was open at the neck and she could glimpse the brown, curling hair she’d run her fingers through almost nine months ago. Visions of that night still danced in her dreams. Now with the scent of his musky cologne mixing with the male scent of physical labor, all of her senses came alive.
“I’m going to walk to the convenience store and get you some groceries. Will you be all right alone for a little while?”
Nervous about being alone with the babies, but determined not to depend on Jeremy, she pushed herself up against the arm of the sofa so she was sitting at eye level with him. “I’ll be fine. I’ll have to feed them again in about an hour if not before. That’s mostly what I’ll be doing for the next few weeks.”
“And changing diapers,” he said with a smile.
“Yes, that, too.” She started to slide her legs from the sofa. “I’ll get you some money—”
“No, you won’t. I’ll take care of it.”
“Look, Jeremy…”
“Now don’t get all independent on me again. I’m just going to buy you a few groceries. Is there anything specific that you want?”
She simply didn’t have the strength to fight with him today, but she wouldn’t let him take care of her and the babies as if she couldn’t do it herself. “There’s a list on the refrigerator of the foods I shouldn’t have since I’m breast-feeding. Other than that, I am partial to strawberry ice cream.”
His green eyes twinkled with amusement and he was incredibly near. The fluttering in her tummy didn’t have anything to do with the babies anymore. When he leaned a little closer to her, her breath almost stopped and she thought he was going to kiss her.
Instead he murmured, “I’ll buy a little bit of everything,” then got to his feet and towered over her. “Do you have any flashlights or battery-powered lanterns for when it gets dark, if the electricity isn’t back on?”
“I have an oil lamp in the kitchen and some candles.”
“Are you warm enough?”
The woodstove had made the room cozy, but it was Jeremy’s presence that made her blood run fast and brought a flush to her cheeks. “I’m fine. And don’t hurry to get back. I’m old enough to take care of myself, you know.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he muttered. Then he went to the refrigerator for her list, snatched his coat from the back of the chair, pulled on his gloves, and after a last look at his twins, left the house.
Leah was dozing again when Jeremy returned and carried grocery bags to the kitchen. After she checked the babies and tenderly brushed their hair from their foreheads, she went to help Jeremy put the groceries away.
Glancing at her as she put the milk in the refrigerator, Jeremy said, “Down at the store, I heard that Mack was having trouble with his pickup. He hopes to have it fixed by tonight.” With a nod to the tray of chicken he’d bought, he asked, “How about baked chicken, baked potatoes, and carrots for supper?”
It was obvious that he was determined to take care of her. At least for today, she’d let him. “That sounds wonderful. Where did you learn to cook?”
“My mother. She insists a man who can read can cook.”
Leah laughed. “She sounds like a very reasonable lady. Does your father cook?”
“No. He usually eats out or shops at the deli. They’re divorced. Have been since I was ten.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“Nope. And although there are advantages to being an only child, I’m glad Adam and Brooke will have each other.”
Leah would have probed into Jeremy’s background further, but suddenly a beeping sound came from the pager on his belt. He checked it. “I have to call my service. I can put the rest of this away when I’m done.”
“Jeremy, it won’t hurt me to move around a little and do something.”
With an arch of his brows, he took the receiver from the phone on the wall and dialed in a number. Leah couldn’t help listening as she put carrots into the vegetable bin.
“She’s never happy when somebody else takes over for me,” obviously speaking about one of his patients. “I’ll give her
a call. And Elise, too.” After punching in another set of numbers, Jeremy spoke to his patient for a few minutes, asking what medication she had taken today, then telling her she could increase one medication while stopping another. Afterward, he asked about her husband and talked with her for a few minutes.
Leah admired his kindness and patience and could see again why he was such a good doctor. Opening cupboards, she stored the prepared foods he’d bought. When he dialed another number, she heard him greet the woman named Elise with enthusiasm.
Maybe a little too much enthusiasm, Leah thought, then scolded herself.
But as she listened to this conversation, it was obvious Jeremy was working with the woman on a fund-raiser for the hospital and sounded as if he enjoyed it. The annoyance Leah felt made her examine her feelings, and she found herself wondering what Elise looked like. Closing the cupboard with a snap, she told herself it didn’t matter and she had no right to be even a little bit jealous.
After Jeremy finished with his calls, he checked the range. “It’s a good thing you have a gas oven or we’d have to have canned soup on top of the woodstove.”
“I can mix up some corn bread,” she said.
With a shake of his head, he came over to her. “What am I going to do with you?”
Her heart thumped harder as she looked up at him. “I’m not an invalid, Jeremy.”
Reaching out, he brushed her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers glide through it as if he relished touching it. “No, you’re not. But you’ve just gone through the most wondrous ordeal a woman can go through and you need to recover from it.”
With his hand on her shoulder and his body so close to hers, she felt she needed to recover from more than the birth of her twins. She needed to recover from seeing Jeremy again, having him around, talking with him. After that night when she’d told him she didn’t want to see him again, she’d denied to herself that she’d missed him. But now she couldn’t. She felt the constant pull toward him. His green eyes were mesmerizing; the shadow line of his beard was beginning to show, and she wanted to touch him so badly her fingers tingled. His hands slid into her hair again, to the nape of her neck, and he held her as he bent his head. His lips on hers made her senses reel, her heart quiver, her body tremble. His tongue swept into her mouth, filling her with a longing that she’d forgotten, a longing that had begun over the course of a few hours on one dark night.
A Montana Mavericks Christmas Page 11