Now he tipped her chin up. “Do I see a hint of the green-eyed monster in those beautiful dark brown eyes?” he asked with a smile.
“Elise is a sophisticated woman,” she remarked, as if that explained it all.
“Elise is a woman who has a head for figures and for public relations techniques. I’ve worked with her. I’ve never dated her. I don’t want to date her. You’re the woman I want in my arms on that dance floor and other places. Am I making myself clear?”
Her cheeks grew hot. “Yes.”
Taking her hand, he tugged her to an empty space near the jukebox, then took her into his arms. But he didn’t bother with the customary dance position. He locked his hands at her waist, and her arms had no place to go but around his neck. Bringing her closer to him, he said, “Look up.”
When she did, she spotted a ball of mistletoe. His lips came down on hers hard, his tongue delved into her mouth, and she forgot they were standing in the middle of a party. When he broke the kiss, she looked around to see if anyone had noticed. But the other couples around them were dancing, lost in their own celebrations of the New Year. Jeremy kissed her again with lingering sweetness, and then she laid her head on his chest, moving with him to the music, listening to the beat of his heart.
She couldn’t wait until they went home tonight and could spend some time alone.
Six
Snow fell lightly as Jeremy pulled up behind Leah’s van in front of her house. “Are you tired?” he asked, knowing she probably was, hoping she’d invite him to stay anyway.
“I managed a nap with the babies this afternoon so I’d be awake tonight.”
Her soft voice in the interior of the dark car was as arousing as the thought of spending the night with her.
Climbing out of the Jeep, Jeremy went around to Leah’s door before she opened it. Giving her a hand, he helped her out, then scooped her up into his arms. “The sidewalk’s slippery. I don’t want you to fall.”
She didn’t argue with him but tightened her arms around his neck. He didn’t hurry to carry her to the porch. There was an awesome quality about the night—the black sky, the softly falling snow, the silence.
“I had a lovely time tonight,” Leah said.
“It was a great start to a new year,” he agreed.
When the clock had struck midnight at the Hip Hop, he’d taken Leah into his arms and kissed her deeply, longing for a future with her, longing for the family he’d never had. Now as she looked up at him and snowflakes nestled in her beautiful black hair, he kissed her again with enough fervor to tell her he wanted to stay the night. He just wanted to be with her and his children.
After he set her down on the porch, she took her keys from her pocket and opened the door.
Bessie was curled up on the sofa reading by the lamp on the end table. “Did you have a good time?” she asked.
“We had a great time,” Jeremy answered. “How were the twins?”
Rising from the sofa, Bessie picked up her coat. “They were just fine. Adam woke up at midnight as if he wanted to celebrate the new year with me. So I fed him and settled him down again. Brooke’s been sleeping since eleven.”
As if on cue, a cry came from the bedroom. It started slowly, then became louder.
“That’s Brooke now,” Leah said with a smile. She crossed to Bessie and gave her a hug. “Thank you so much for staying with them.”
“Any time. You know that. Go on now. Take care of her before she wakes Adam.”
After Leah went into the bedroom, Jeremy helped Bessie on with her coat and walked her to the door. When he wished her a happy new year and good night, she didn’t comment on his staying, but took it as a matter of course.
He was hoping Leah would, too. Actually, he was hoping he could convince Leah and the twins to move in with him.
Going to the bedroom doorway, he looked inside. Leah was rocking Brooke, humming softly to her. The floor light cast a pale glow on them both, and the tableau made his chest tighten. Leah was absorbed with nurturing her daughter, and he decided not to disturb her. He’d wait in the living room until she was finished.
Seeing the newspaper on the coffee table, he took off his suit coat, tugged down his tie and settled on the sofa. But thinking about Leah, maybe holding her in his arms for the night, kept him distracted. He glanced over the paper quickly. Noticing the crossword puzzle, he decided focused concentration might keep him occupied until Leah was finished in the bedroom. But he needed something to write with. He remembered Leah had a kitchen drawer that held notepaper and pens. He went into the kitchen and opened the drawer farthest from the sink. He was removing a ballpoint when his finger caught on an envelope. He glanced at it. It was from the Museum of History Through the Ages in Washington, D.C.
As he picked up the envelope, he saw the letter lying beneath it. It was addressed to Leah, and before he thought better of it, he read the first paragraph.
His stomach clenched.
All Leah had to do was call that number after the new year and she’d have a job interview in Washington, D.C. Exactly what she wanted. Exactly what she’d always dreamed of. Exactly what her mother had wanted for her.
Why hadn’t she told him?
He remembered her saying she’d sent out résumés, but she’d never mentioned receiving replies. Why? Did she want to sneak the twins away so he couldn’t convince her to stay? Or did she want to make sure she had the job before she told him about it?
Fury arose inside Jeremy. He’d thought they were getting closer. He’d thought marriage was in their future. He’d thought they could become a family. But apparently Leah was making other plans. Faced with the concrete possibility of Leah leaving Montana, Jeremy realized just how many plans he’d been making in his head. He’d already decided he could fence in his backyard, put in a jungle gym and swing set, easily give Adam and Brooke their own rooms. But most of all, he’d been imagining Leah in his home, relaxing with him in the living room, sharing his bed. It was a dream, a dream she apparently didn’t want to share.
He paced her living room, the letter still in his hand. When Leah finally emerged from the bedroom, she saw it, and stopped a good two feet away from him.
“Are your bags already packed?” he asked cynically, feeling foolish for weaving a dream on his own.
“Of course not. I can’t even make an appointment until after the new year.”
“But you do intend to make it?”
“It’s a terrific opportunity, Jeremy. It’s what I’ve always wanted.”
“I thought what you wanted might have changed. You have babies to care for now, Leah. How are you going to do that and work at the same time?”
Her chin lifted. “Lots of women do it.”
“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean it’s best for them or their kids.”
“Single mothers don’t have any choice.”
“Maybe they don’t, but you do. You don’t have to be a single mother. I proposed marriage, remember?”
Her eyes were big and sad. “I remember. But just why did you propose marriage? Because that’s what’s best for the twins? That’s what’s best for you? What about me? What about my life? Maybe I want more than a marriage of convenience.”
Her words slid over his anger and he simply caught their essence. “When you have children, you have to stop putting yourself first. Together we could give our twins the life they deserve.”
“What about the life we deserve?” she asked, looking hurt, and he didn’t understand why.
“We could have a good life,” he exploded, feeling her slipping away, feeling the future he wanted slipping away.
“Maybe you could have a good life, but I want more than being a replacement for the wife you lost. I want more for Brooke and Adam than for them to fill the hole in your life left by your unborn child.”
Leah’s accusations shocked him, and he lashed out. “You talk about the dreams your mother had for you, and not wanting her sacrifices to be in vain. I think your motives are a lot
less noble than that. Maybe you don’t want to be reminded of your roots, maybe you’d rather forget your heritage, maybe you just want to be a part of a bigger world where everybody is the same. But leaving the res and Whitehorn isn’t going to change who you are.”
“You have no right—”
“I do have rights, Leah. I went to Gil Brown the first time to set up trust funds, but maybe I’ll be seeing him soon for another reason entirely.”
Tears came to her eyes. “You said the twins belong with me.”
“They do. But you’re not going to cut me out of their lives. I won’t take them away from you, but I want to make sure you can never take them away from me, either.”
He couldn’t handle the shocked look on her face, the hurt caused by the things he’d said. Most of all, he couldn’t stand the knowledge that she didn’t want him, that she could walk away so easily. Snatching up his suit coat, he tossed it over his arm, and then he closed the door behind him and didn’t look back.
Because if he looked back, he’d have to face the kind of pain he’d felt after Gwen and his child died.
He didn’t want to face that pain ever again.
On New Year’s Day, Leah found herself crying as she cared for Brooke and Adam, crying as she poured out what had happened on New Year’s Eve to Bessie over a cup of tea, and crying as she lay awake that night staring into the dark, thinking about Jeremy, holding on to her love for him, wishing he loved her, too. But it was so very obvious that he didn’t. He couldn’t have said what he had if he did.
She wasn’t running away from who she was; she didn’t want to run at all. If Jeremy felt more than desire, more than responsibility for his children, they’d have a place to start. But he’d spoken as if she and the twins were just a package deal he was willing to accept. She wanted a marriage based on love, and she wouldn’t settle for less. If she did, she’d not only hurt herself, but she’d hurt Brooke and Adam. They needed so much more than a roof over their heads and a nice house and a college education. They needed parents who would love them for who they were, every day of their lives. She and Jeremy could do that separately; she wasn’t sure they could do it together. If he had no feelings for her except desire, then she was simply a replacement, and she wouldn’t be that.
Even though she loved him to the depths of her being.
When Jeremy didn’t call her on New Year’s Day or the next, she knew she had to build her life as she’d planned to do when she’d found out she was pregnant—without him. Monday morning, taking the time zones into consideration, she called Washington, D.C.
Monday evening, the wind beat against the old miner’s hut in the Crazy Mountains. Dillon Pierce threw an empty wooden bucket across the room with an oath and watched it bounce off the wall. He’d been shut up here since Willie Sparks had screwed up and let their million-dollar kid escape. He was tired of lugging water from the creek, tired of being afraid to go near a town, tired of sleeping on a bunk that was practically as hard as the ground. If only they could find out if the kid had fingered them yet…
Dillon glanced at the snake tattoo on his forearm. She’d seen that…she’d seen their faces…
The sound of a truck bumping up the snow-covered, rutted logging road put Dillon on guard. He raked his black hair out of his eyes and peered through the small window. It was Willie.
When the battered door opened, Dillon muttered, “It’s about time you got back here with food. I’m starving.”
“It was worth the wait,” Willie said with a smirk. “Wait till you see what I got.”
Besides the bag of groceries in his arm, Willie held up a newspaper. “I found it in a trash bin. Check out the front page.”
Dillon snatched the paper from Willie and sat in the chair closest to the potbellied stove. The headline on the front page of the Whitehorn Journal snagged his attention. Kidnapping Gone Awry.
“We had the wrong kid?” he exploded after he’d skimmed the article.
“Looks that way,” Willie answered as he set the bag on the table. “The good part is—she ain’t told nobody nothin’ yet. She can’t talk. Or won’t talk. People at the Hip Hop are gabbin’ up a storm about it.”
“You went to the Hip Hop?”
“After I saw the paper, I figured, why shouldn’t I? That’s the place to find out what’s happening. And I did. The kid we had, Sara Mitchell, ain’t peeped a word since they found her. You tellin’ her you’d kill her and her family if she ever told what we looked like must have worked!”
“Must have,” Dillon agreed.
“So let’s get the hell out of here,” Willie suggested. “We can drive down to Texas, maybe disappear into Mexico.”
“Mexico? Are you nuts? We’ve got to get this kid and make sure she never identifies us.”
“You don’t mean—”
“Oh, yes, I do. If we eliminate her, we can go anywhere we want. I’m not running the rest of my life.”
“I don’t know…”
“If you’re not with me, you get the hell out of here now, Willie. But without my truck. And without the little bit of money I have stashed.”
Willie gave Dillon a lost look as if he had no idea how to move on alone.
“Well?” Dillon pressed.
“All right. I’ll help you. But I won’t hurt her. Understand?”
One thing Dillon had learned about Willie Sparks—he did what he was told. “Yeah, I understand. Now let’s eat. I’m starved.” He unloaded the groceries, hoping feeding his stomach would help him come up with a plan—a plan to set them free.
Jeremy was grabbing a quick sandwich at his desk on Tuesday afternoon when his receptionist buzzed him. “There’s a Bessie Whitecloud here to see you,” she said.
Jeremy froze. What if something had happened to Leah? What if something was wrong with the twins? Closing his eyes, he tried to stuff the worry. He’d told himself he’d needed time to think; he’d told himself he had to stop making Leah, Brooke and Adam the center of his world; he’d told himself he was going to lose them, and he’d better get used to it.
“Send her back,” he said curtly.
Dumping the remainder of his sandwich into the trash can, he opened his office door and waited until Bessie appeared, then went back inside and sat behind his desk.
She came in and asked, “Do you have a few minutes?”
He made a point of checking his watch. “About five, then the waiting room will start filling with patients.”
“Five might be all I need if you’re smart enough to listen to me.”
Bessie’s tone was scolding and motherly, and he frowned. “Look, if this is about Leah, she and I said everything we had to say.”
“This is about Leah, and I don’t think the two of you have begun to say everything you should say. Leah had an hour-long conversation yesterday with the personnel director from the museum in Washington. It looks as if they want to interview her pretty badly as soon as possible. They haven’t set up interviews with anyone else because they want to meet her first.”
When Jeremy kept silent, Bessie went on. “They’re offering her an all-expense-paid trip. She’s taking the twins, and I’m going along to help. We’re flying to D.C. on Thursday.”
He still remained silent.
Shaking her head impatiently, Bessie asked, “Do you want her to take this job and move to Washington?”
“Obviously, Leah wants to move,” he retorted, not thinking about what he wanted because it was too painful.
“You’re acting like a man who’s already lost and has no desire to fight.”
He stood, unable to restrain the emotions that had been rioting since New Year’s Eve. “What would I be fighting for, Bessie? A marriage Leah doesn’t want? A life she doesn’t want?”
“Have you really ever asked Leah what she wants?” Bessie’s gaze held his and wouldn’t let go.
“She’s made it clear,” he muttered.
“I don’t think she has. She told you what she wanted befo
re she came back here to take care of her mother. She told you what she wanted before she met you, before she had the twins. She’s an independent young woman, Jeremy. She has to take care of herself and her babies. This job in Washington, D.C., would give her the best opportunity to do that. But that isn’t necessarily what her heart desires.”
“And you think her heart’s desire has something to do with me?” He gave a humorless laugh. “Well, you’re wrong. She thinks I want her and the twins to replace the family I lost.”
Silence again stretched between them until Bessie said, “Leah can only see what you let her see. Have you ever given her a reason to want to stay? Have you ever told her that she’s not a replacement? Think about it, Jeremy. Think about what Leah means to your life, and then you decide if you want her to fly out of here on Thursday.”
Without waiting for a reaction or a response, Bessie left his office. Jeremy could hear her footsteps going down the hall as he sank into his swivel chair.
Think about what Leah meant to his life? That would only cause the pain he was trying to avoid.
Still, in spite of himself, he remembered the first time he’d met Leah when she’d come into the clinic on the res. It had been last March. There had been a foot of snow on the ground, and she’d come in wearing boots and her parka, her cheeks red. When she’d let down her hood and he’d seen that glorious black hair of hers, looked into her deep brown eyes, he’d felt a soul-stirring pull. Over the month he’d cared for her mother, he’d defied that pull…until that one night when Leah had needed his arms around her, needed to know she wasn’t alone.
He’d understood her grief better than anyone could, though he hadn’t told her that then. But maybe she’d felt it. Maybe that’s what had drawn them together. Although he’d thought Leah had left Whitehorn, she’d changed his world that night. Afterward he had felt more alive, more cognizant of everything around him. And when he’d found her by the side of the road and delivered their twins, he’d glimpsed the future they could have together.
He couldn’t close his eyes at night without thinking about her…without seeing her. When he awoke in the morning, he wondered what she was doing and couldn’t wait until he’d finished rounds or had seen all his patients so he could call her or stop by. She filled his thoughts, stirred his imagination, aroused his desire until he felt like a powerful man, ten feet tall, able to do anything. He didn’t see her and the twins as a package deal. He saw Leah for who she was, and he—
A Montana Mavericks Christmas Page 17