by Karen Anders
Her reaction made his gut clench as she swallowed hard, then spoke, her voice unsteady. “I was going to tell you.”
Sean watched her, a sick feeling unfolding in his belly. “When? When it was a done deal? I’m surprised that you took the test.”
“Why?”
“You want to be an arson investigator. I’ve known it for a long time. You just don’t want to admit it to yourself or to your father. You’d be wasted as a captain.”
“You don’t think I could do the job?”
“Are you kidding me? You’d be very good in that job. But as an arson investigator, you’d kick ass. I’ve never seen instincts like yours. Lana, you’re a natural and San Diego needs arson investigators like you. Captains are a dime a dozen. I can’t believe that you don’t see it.”
When she made no response, he hunkered down to be at the same level with her. She sat back on her heels. He watched her for a moment, then spoke, his tone still quiet. “I think maybe it’s time you leveled with yourself, Lana.”
She shot him a sharp glance, and then she turned back to the flower she was planting, her jaw set. “Yes, I think investigating fires is interesting,” she said, patting the dirt around the seedling. “But you’re wrong about what I want to do with my life. I’m dedicated to becoming a captain. It’s what I want. And I’m beginning to think he’s right. I shouldn’t be sleeping with a squad member that I would someday command.”
His expression grim, Sean looked away. He waited a minute, then looked at her and spoke, “Don’t you think that’s between you and me?”
More silence and his stomach fell like a stone.
“It’s more than that. It’s also about how our relationship is different.”
“Sean…”
“I should have seen it. I’m such a fool. I thought we were drawing closer and all this time you were holding out on me because you’re afraid of making a change. It scares you to realize that what you worked for isn’t what you want. You don’t want to disappoint your father.”
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I know what I want. You may have gotten all assertive on me, Sean, but don’t tell me what I want.”
She stared at him, a sad look in her eyes, her arms clutched in front of her, and something hard and cold settled in the pit of Sean’s stomach. He stared at her, then turned his head and clenched his jaw in disgust. After all this time, he had never put it together until now. And he didn’t like it one damned bit. “I see that you’re caught between your own desires and your father’s expectations. It’s a hard place to be.”
She seemed frozen in place, her eyes wide and wounded, and he looked away and shook his head, his frustration compounding. He waited until he got a grip on the feelings building inside him, then he faced her again. “I’m not your father, Lana. I’m not going to coerce or manipulate you into something you don’t want to do. I’m also not going to stand here and cover up the truth because you don’t want to hear it.”
She never said a word. She just stood there, huddled in the warmth of her arms, but he saw the answer in her despairing eyes as clearly as if she’d spoken it.
Sean stared at her, then shook his head and gave her a tight smile. He loved her so much. He could tell her that and complicate her life some more, but ultimately Lana had to make her own decision. “Okay. We don’t sleep together. I accept that, but don’t shut me out, Lana.”
“I’m transferring.”
“What?”
“Sean, it’s for the best this way.”
So this was it. And there wasn’t a damn thing left for him to say.
AFTER HER DOUBLE SHIFT, Lana knocked on Captain Troy’s office door.
“Come,” he said brusquely. He smiled when he saw it was her. “Dempsey. Come in and I hear congratulations are in order.”
“Thanks, sir. I’m here to make a request.”
“Shoot.”
“I’d like a transfer to a different station.”
He frowned. “Are you having problems here, Dempsey?”
“No. I feel that it’s time for me to go. With my new promotion and my record, I feel it’s time for a change.”
“All right, but I hate to lose you. Put it in writing…”
“I already have.” With a lump in her throat and her chest tight, she handed it to him.
“When would you want to go?” he asked, glancing down at the request.
“As soon as possible.”
“All right. I’ll call you with the particulars.”
“I do want to say that serving under you has been a pleasure, sir.”
“We’re going to miss you. There’s been a Dempsey at this station for three generations.”
14
WHEN LANA AND THE SEVENTY-SEVEN pulled up to the fire, a man was waving his arms from a third-floor window.
She was out of the engine as soon as it stopped, directing squad members to get a ladder up to the window. Without hesitation, they got to work and the man was down and away from danger in minutes.
She looked up at the building. It seemed strange to face the foe without Sean at her back, but the transfer was the answer that she needed. She was a leader now. A place she strived for all her life.
She turned on her air pack with one hand, gripped her ax with the other. She could smell the smoke. People were streaming down the stairs. She passed people covering their mouths and coughing. On the second floor, the engine crew turned left, dragging the hose down the hallway. It was filled with a thin gauze of smoke, but there were no visible signs of fire yet. The tension in the air was palpable.
These hotels made Lana nervous. They were old, ramshackle, and shabby, making them dangerous firetraps. Despite the narrow hallways and small boxlike rooms, these hotels were deceptively large. The same brown doors and yellow wall went on forever, confusing and disorienting.
Lana knocked impatiently on each door. If it was locked, she turned her back to it and brought her leg forward. Then she crashed it into the door, which gave way easily.
After checking thoroughly inside, Lana couldn’t find anybody, so she went back out into the hallway. She saw the illuminating glow. By now, the engine crew and its hose were out of sight and heading in the wrong direction, and she realized that she had to get another line up here fast. She’d found the fire.
She turned and in her path stood Pete Meadows. He had his ax out swinging toward her head before she could call out. The blow knocked her into the wall and the lights winked out as if someone had turned a switch.
SEAN FINISHED REFILLING the engine with extra SCBAs and turned. Sienna was standing there.
“Sean, I’m looking for Pete Meadows.”
“Why?”
“I went to talk to Dane Bryant and caught him packing his car for a long trip. He’s in custody for conspiracy to commit arson.”
“What does this have to do with Pete?”
“Bryant, Meadows and Fisher were all probies together. Pete is conspiring with William Morrison to torch old buildings and then Morrison buys them for a song.
“The negative, which was on Bryant when we apprehended him, shows Pete talking to Fisher at the first fire scene. Bryant told us that Meadows paid him to botch the investigation.”
Kate was standing next to her. “Where’s Lana?”
“She doesn’t work at this station anymore. She took a transfer. Why?”
“We found Fisher dead,” Sienna said.
“It looks like he committed suicide with a note and everything,” Kate added.
“But you don’t believe it?”
“No. The angle of the shot is all wrong. I noticed it immediately and told Sienna.”
“You think Pete is behind this?”
“Bryant says that Pete killed Fisher because he was a liability. That’s what spooked Bryant into running. He was afraid of Meadows.”
Panic put a vise grip around Sean’s heart. “Let’s find Meadows quick.”
They searched through the station,
but Pete wasn’t there.
“Can you find out where Lana is?” Sienna said with a worried frown.
Sean walked into the captain’s office. The captain called the dispatcher and handed the address over to Sean.
After Sean grabbed his gear, they headed for Sienna’s car at a run. They drove to the apartment fire.
Sean, Sienna and Kate rushed up to one of the firefighters, and Sienna spoke. “We’re trying to find Lana Dempsey. Police business,” she said showing her badge.
The firefighter turned his head to speak into his mike. “Dempsey, get your butt out here. There’s a cop who wants to speak with you.”
They waited a beat, but the radio remained silent. “Casey, is Dempsey with you?”
“Sure, she’s right…she was here a minute ago. The fire’s getting bad and we might have to pull out. We’re running out of hose.”
“Can you not see Dempsey?” the firefighter barked.
Sean was already donning his gear. Sienna and Kate rushed after him. Sean stopped them. “You can’t go in.”
“Find her. Please,” Kate said as Sienna silently pleaded with her eyes.
“Don’t worry. I will.”
LANA CAME TO SLOWLY AWARE of the black, like a wide hot sea, the heat brushing against her in waves. Water fell from above, searingly hot, sneaking into her collar and trickling down her back. Orange flashes sparked above her, fleeting shadows of color. She was still in the hallway and if the fire got over her or behind, she would be trapped. Maybe that was what he had in mind.
Lana realized that her SCBA was gone. She coughed as she breathed in the hot tang of the smoke, making her eyes water.
She looked up as Pete watched the fire lick at the wood above him.
“Pete, what are you doing?”
“Making sure that you pay for meddling in my very lucrative affairs. You’re too damn smart, Lana.”
“It was you all along, you were framing Fisher and bribing Bryant.”
“Right on both accounts. Bryant is greedy and disgruntled. He was easy. I gave John gear and a scanner so he could keep track of when we went on calls. He was so eager to be a firefighter. Not quite right in the head.”
“Sienna will figure this out.”
“No she won’t because John can’t tell her anything with a bullet in his brain. Everything points to him, including pictures of him at the scene. When I overheard you talking to O’Neill about the Morrison connection, I knew I had to do something before you told that cop friend of yours.”
“So your amorous attention was all a smoke screen.”
“That’s right. You’re not really my type. I like obedient blondes.”
“Why did you do it, Pete?”
“I wish I could say I had these terrible pent-up feelings, but the truth is, I did it for the money.”
He advanced on her with the ax and Lana dodged as he swung it toward the wall where she was sitting. It hit the wall with a terrible thud and Lana coughed as she swallowed more smoke.
“Sorry about this, Lana. Guess you won’t get to be captain someday.”
And suddenly, blindingly, Lana realized that she didn’t want it. What she wanted was a life with Sean. Now she was afraid that she’d never get a chance to tell him.
She loved him with all her heart.
Sitting in the hallway, wondering what Pete would do next reminded her that life was fragile and precious, that there were things worth keeping, worth being a little more careful for. That life was full of small miracles easily lost.
She learned that courage didn’t reside in physical danger. Courage means confronting fears and doubts and making the right choice, taking a stand and stating what it is that she wanted in life. It wasn’t the same thing her father wanted.
What she wanted more than anything was to get out of this hallway, this escalating inferno and tell her father how she felt. Tell Sean how she felt.
Pete moved closer to her and hunkered down. “Don’t fight it, Lana. You can’t win.”
Lana moved her hand around the floor trying to find something, anything with which to defend herself. But Pete was moving, rising and bringing his ax up.
SEAN MOVED AS FAST AS POSSIBLE through the smoky building. As he passed crews, he asked about Lana, but no one had seen her or knew where she was. He started to climb, his heart beating hard. How stupid could he have been to let her walk away from him? He couldn’t live without her. He wanted the chance to hold her in his arms and tell her how much she meant to him. He loved her. With grim determination, he started taking the steps two at a time.
LANA DUCKED THE AX AGAIN and rolled away. Her head was still woozy and the lack of oxygen didn’t help. She grabbed the big flashlight off her belt. With a scream, she rushed Pete as he was trying to pull his ax out of the wall.
She hit him a glancing blow to the temple and without waiting to see if he went down, she ran for the stairs. Just as she reached the top stair, he grabbed the back of her jacket and pulled hard. She went down and hit her head. The room spun and she could barely make out his sooty face in the glow from the encroaching fire as he swung the ax up.
A howling call came out of the darkness of the stairwell and then a huge force flew over her and into Pete. Lana rolled onto her side and tried to get up, tried to help the man who had come to her rescue. But she couldn’t seem to make her body work.
Then in that same red glow, she saw it was Sean. She wanted to yell to him, tell him, but all that came out of her throat was a croak. They grappled near the banister, Pete pushing Sean against the wooden barrier that groaned and popped as wood loosened beneath the weight. Suddenly, Sean turned and with a mighty heave threw Pete away from him and against the banister. With a final groan, the wood gave way and Pete fell into the blackness.
Sean’s face loomed over hers and she reached up to touch his skin, feel the heat of him.
“Hang on,” he said hoarsely, pulling off his mask to give her oxygen.
Sean wasn’t only her squad member, friend and lover.
He was her life.
Lana closed her eyes and the clear, pure air entered her lungs and she let the darkness settle over her as gently as a blanket.
SEAN DONNED THE MASK, his heart in his throat when he saw that Lana had passed out. Then Sean ran out of time. Fire surrounded them on all sides, ravenous and crimson, unbelievably hot. He gathered Lana into a fireman’s carry as fire sped across the floor, consuming fuel and air like something alive.
Fear like he’d never known before sank rending claws into his stomach, tearing at his throat. They were trapped, fire writhing on either side of them. Determined, he fought through the fear.
Fire in a great wall of snapping, writhing flames blocked his exit to the stairs. If he didn’t act, the roaring heat that surged toward them would engulf them.
His SCBA started whistling, and he cursed it. He wasn’t going to die and he wasn’t going to let Lana die. He took a deep breath, tightened his hold on Lana and jumped into the jaws of the beast.
For a split second he was in the fire’s embrace, grasping flames, heat so intense, he could barely breathe.
They emerged on the other side into thick black smoke. Groping for the stair railing that would lead him down to safety, Sean knew it was blind luck when his gloved hand felt the wood.
Smoke was swelling up the stairwell, rising like a huge black balloon. Lana coughed hard against his back, the vibrations reaching even through his thick turnout coat.
He pulled her off his shoulders, leaning her against the wall while he stripped off his mask.
Overcome by smoke and sliding into shock, Lana’s knees buckled and Sean had to catch her against him and hold her.
“Lana, hang on. Don’t give up,” he yelled at her as he heaved her back over his shoulder.
He jogged down the steps taking them two at a time, descending as fast as he could. He lost count of the flights. Lana was still unconscious, her head lolling, her arms limp. His eyes stung from the thick
smoke. His lungs felt on fire, but he didn’t slow. All he knew was that he had to get her to safety.
She was still out as he passed firefighters rushing past him with hoses.
The smoke had thinned considerably by the time he got to the front doors and lurched through.
He heard the shouts. His vision blurred as Sienna rushed up to him along with Kate. Two paramedics were close behind.
“Oh God, Sean,” Kate said.
“Oxygen.” Not relinquishing his hold on her, he shrugged off their hands and moved farther away from the flaming building and into the street.
He headed for the closest ambulance and grabbed at the oxygen tank. “Oxygen,” he croaked. “Hurry.” His throat closed up and a spasm of coughing tore at his lungs as he gently set her down on a stretcher.
Her face was so still. He couldn’t tell if she was breathing. A burly paramedic muscled him aside and fitted an oxygen mask over her face.
“Is she all right?” Wiping away tears with the back of her hand, Kate grabbed Sean’s shoulder.
Sienna asked frantically, “Is she breathing?”
The tension left Sean’s body when he saw her chest rising and falling. He closed his eyes and sank to his knees beside the stretcher.
When the stretcher lifted, Sean rose.
“You can’t ride in here,” the paramedic insisted.
Sean pushed the man against the side of the ambulance. “Just try to keep me out.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”
WHILE RIDING THROUGH THE CITY, watching everything the paramedics did, he breathed in oxygen in great gulps, but his lungs still felt gritty and raw.
When they got to the E.R., Sean tried to go with her, but a nurse grabbed his arm and directed him toward an examining room.
He tried to fight her, but the room started spinning and he found himself flat on his back.
“Be still,” a big doctor instructed him, standing above him.
“Lana…”
“Your friend is in good hands. So stop squirming or I’ll have to stick you with a needle to quiet you down.”
Sean quieted down. He didn’t want to be sedated. He wanted to see Lana. So he let the doctor clean him out and give him some more oxygen.