by Anya Bast
She threw an arm over her head and the action caused her breast to press against the material of the tank top she wore. If he looked hard he could see the outline of her nipple. He was a man; he looked. He even imagined what it would feel like under his fingertips, what it would taste like against his tongue.
His gaze traveled upward again. Her eyelashes were swept down over creamy pale skin and her full lips were slightly parted in sleep.
Yeah, she was attractive. Maybe even a little more than merely attractive. Most men would probably call her cute, but Theo found her beautiful.
Grosset lay on her other side, snoring. The dog snuffled against her back and almost woke her up, so Theo turned and walked out of the room. The last thing he needed to be caught doing was staring at her while she was sleeping. All the trust she thought she had in him would disappear.
And he liked that she trusted him.
TEN
SARAFINA TURNED DURING YET ANOTHER TIRING training session and regarded Claire. “Where is his family?” Claire dropped to the padded floor the three balls she held in the air with air magick. She’d been juggling them while Sarafina had been practicing throwing fire the special way Claire had instructed her. Together the two of them were probably better than Ringling Bros.
She blinked. “Who?” A knowing look enveloped her expression. “Oh, you mean Theo.” Sarafina nodded.
“He doesn’t talk much, our Theo. I’m sure you’ve noticed.” Claire spoke with an odd, very subtle accent, something that people might presume was Dutch. It had come from growing up on Eudae, Sarafina understood. It was hard to believe that Claire actually spoke fluent Aemni, the demon language.
“He especially doesn’t talk much about his past or his family,” Claire continued. “I do know that he’s estranged from his parents and has been since he was a teenager. I don’t think he had a good life with them. His father abused his mother and I believe she left when Theo was a teenager.” She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t think he has any siblings, but I’m just not sure. Theo is reserved. He doesn’t share much about himself and he’s hard to get close to.” Sarafina shifted and glanced away. “Yes, sometimes people who have their spirits broken when they’re young close themselves off from the rest of the world, to protect the unbroken part of themselves. It’s hard for them to risk because they understand just how much there is to lose.” “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” Claire’s voice had gone quiet and gentle.
Sarafina laughed. “I suppose having my mother try to kill me in my neighbor friend’s sandbox qualifies as a spirit-breaking childhood event. I closed down, too, but my foster mom helped me see what I was doing early on and correct it.” She paused and swallowed hard; a rush of grief for Rosemary rose up to swamp her for a moment. “I had help. Not everyone gets that.” Claire gave her a small, secret smile. “I had help, too.” Sarafina figured she was referring to Adam. The two of them were always together, obviously committed, and deeply in love. There were several couples in the Coven that way — in the kind of relationships that made people around them get lumps in their throats.
One day Sarafina wanted something like what Claire and Adam had. Something like what she saw when Jack met Mira’s eyes from across the room, or when Thomas brushed the back of his hand against Isabelle’s cheek when he thought no one was looking. A relationship like that wasn’t in the cards for her, at least not anytime soon.
Sarafina returned her smile, happy — if not just a little jealous — for the other woman’s good fortune. It was natural. Everyone wanted to be loved, didn’t they? Even Theo needed to be loved somewhere down deep under all the gruff.
“Can you tell me what happened to his chest to create all those scars?” Sarafina asked. She couldn’t resist asking the question, she just couldn’t.
“The Duskoff, who else? I’ll let him tell you the details, though.” Sarafina raised an eyebrow. “Think he will?” “I think he’s bonded with you better than I’ve ever seen him bond with anyone. Even Ingrid.” “Ingrid?”
“A fire witch who died in a blood magick spell performed by an Atrika daaeman about a year and a half ago. Theo was sleeping with her, but no one really knows if it was more than that.” She glanced away. “I feel responsible for her death in a way because the demon’s spell was worked to find me. Her death really affected Theo deeply.” “That’s horrible.”
“It was a. . bad time.”
“I’m not sleeping with him, you know.” Claire looked up in surprise. “Huh? I never thought you were.” “Well, but you said Theo was bonding better with me than he had with Ingrid, a woman he was sleeping with. I’m not with Theo like that.” “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to imply I thought you were.” “I just want to make that clear.” Sarafina waved a hand at her. “I’m staying in the guest room and we have different bathrooms. I’ve never even seen him naked, well, except for the waist up, and—” Claire laughed. “Okay, I got it. I think someone is protesting a little too much.” Sarafina felt her cheeks heat. “I just don’t want tongues to be wagging, mostly for Theo’s sake.” “Okay, gotcha.” Claire winked. She turned and headed for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sarafina.” “Okay, see you tomorrow!” Sarafina waved and then smacked her forehead with her open palm once Claire had disappeared. She hadn’t completely clued her in that she was crushing a little bit on Theo, had she? Nah, not at all. . Sarafina cringed.
She headed out of the room as well, more than ready to knock off for the night. All the way up to Theo’s apartment she kicked herself for running on at the mouth about sleeping with Theo. As much as she tried to deny it, the more time she spent with the man, the more she imagined what it would be like.
Theo was so intense. Would he be that way in bed, too? How would all the focused, passionate emotion that teemed under his constant brooding translate between the sheets? Just the thought made her shiver.
She’d read that certain elements were attracted to each other. Air and fire fed each other. Earth and water nourished each other. When two people who were already attracted had elements that complemented, that attraction was intensified. Earth and fire had nothing special — no pumped-up attraction.
On her end, it mattered not a whit.
Sometimes before she went to sleep at night she imagined what it would be like to kiss him. He had such a sensual mouth, such full lips. How would they feel slipping and sliding against hers? How would his toughened, powerful hands feel moving against her most intimate places? She knew firsthand from the massage he’d given her that he could be gentle and strong at the same time.
Would he be uber-dominant in bed, or would he allow her to take the lead?
Oh, God.
She stopped in front of his door, trying to calm the furious flush that had entered her cheeks. It was the curse of the fair-skinned. She had to get control of her fantasies. Theo had given her absolutely no indication that he was at all interested in her that way. He’d made that one remark in the kitchen, but, hell, she could have misunderstood. Then there’d been that comment about appropriate clothing.
No, he wasn’t attracted to her.
She walked into an empty living room. Grosset was in his usual place on the couch. She set her bag down on the floor by the coffee table and noted that his apartment had been much tidier since she’d been staying with him. Probably a combination of her picking things up and Theo becoming more conscious of not simply stripping as soon as he got through the door and dropping his clothes willy-nilly.
Not that she’d mind if he stripped as soon as he got through the door.
Theo walked down the hallway. “Did you have a good session with Claire?” She sought Grosset’s leash and nodded. “She taught me how to ricochet my magick to get around daaeman shields and how to deflect their blasts.” Theo watched her walk toward Grosset with the leash in hand. “I already took him out.” “Oh, great. Thanks.” She put the leash back.
“Mira has been hearing some disturbing whispers. It appears that the
air witch the Duskoff captured has been killed.” Sarafina jerked. “Really? That’s horrible.” “That’s the Duskoff. If they can’t bend you, medicate you, or if you’re of no further use to them, they kill you.” “But wait.” She turned to him. “Why wouldn’t they keep her alive? I mean, they need witches of all four elements to cast a demon circle, don’t they? Why wouldn’t they use her in one of those?” She chewed her lip, thinking. “They didn’t use her to bring Bai through, or she would have been dead long before now, since the witches in the circle are sacrificed to pull a daaeman to Earth. But they could have used her to pull a second daaeman through, right?” Theo bared his teeth in something Sarafina assumed was supposed to be a smile. “Very perceptive. Thomas thinks it’s one of two reasons. Either the witch didn’t have enough strength to bring an adequately powerful daaeman through, or they don’t need to cast a demon circle. Considering Bai is here and no one knows how he arrived, Thomas is leaning toward the second thing.” “You mean, the Duskoff didn’t keep her alive to toss her into a demon circle because they already have their demon.” “Yeah.”
“We just don’t know how he got over here.” “Yeah.”
“Sounds ominous.”
“It’s never anything less.” He moved the coffee table to the side of the room as if it weighed nothing. “Because of recent developments, I want you to show me what you know.” “What? Is this a pop quiz?”
He stood in the center of the room and faced her. “Yeah. I’m going to attack you and I want you to throw me off. I want you to prove to me you can do it.” She glanced around at the furniture. “Shouldn’t we do this down on the mats?” “Do you really think your attacker will wait until you’re somewhere convenient?” “Good point.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“You haven’t attacked me yet.”
He rushed her. Having a man twice her weight careening across the room at her was just about enough to stop her heart for a moment. Then instincts took over, driven by his training over the last two weeks. She didn’t really think, she just reacted.
Moving to the side, he rushed past her. Her tactic didn’t work. He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her, spinning her around. Her breath crushed out of her and her magick flared, running over her body, just far enough away to keep from burning her. . but not him.
Theo yelped and pushed her away, the fabric of his shirt smoking. In a moment, he was on her again, the scent of earth magick flaring in the air. Grosset started barking. Just as a bolt of power spiked toward her, she ducked, hitting the floor, and rolling back up onto her feet.
He grabbed her from behind and they struggled. She brought her elbow back into his solar plexus, making him grunt. Then she pivoted on the balls of her feet and brought her palm up against his nose, pulling back only at the last minute so she didn’t break it. He oofed and whirled to the side, tripped and fell against the corner of the wall.
That saying about the big guys falling harder was true.
“Oh, my God! I’m sorry!” Sarafina rushed to Theo’s side, placing her hand on his back and hoping like hell she hadn’t injured him too badly.
“I guess you pass the test,” Theo said, holding a hand to his head.
“Come on, let me see.” She pulled his hand away from his face and saw that he’d beaned himself in the forehead. Those kinds of head wounds bled a lot, and this one was no exception. She gasped and bit her lower lip. “I’m really sorry, Theo. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She led him over to sit down on the couch. Grosset eyed them both warily. Sarafina pushed his hair away and examined his forehead, wincing.
“I asked you to hurt me. Don’t be sorry. You proved that my training has actually done some good.” She frowned. “You seem to get hurt a lot.” The ghost of a grin passed over his lips. “I let you win.” He caught and held her gaze. “Anyway, this gives you a chance to practice your healing on me again.” Sarafina stilled, captivated. This was the longest he’d ever looked directly into her eyes. His pupils dilated a little, the color turning a deeper, darker brown. Her lips parted and her breath caught at the intimacy of the moment. The silence between them seemed pregnant with possibility. .
Her next sentence came out in a near breathless puff of air as she stared deeply into his beautiful eyes. “Take off your pants.” That pregnant, intimate moment popped like a bubble.
He blinked. “What did you say?”
Mentally, she smacked her forehead. Brilliant, Sarafina, brilliant!
“I meant your shirt, not your pants. I’ll try to get the blood out of it.” She gave a nervous laugh. “Why would I ask you to take off your pants?” He gave her just the briefest hint of a smile. Because of its genuineness, it was the most stunning thing Sarafina had seen in a while. In one smooth move, torso rippling with power, he removed his shirt and gave it to her.
Flustered, she rose and scrubbed the hell out of the blood-stains before dumping the shirt into the washing machine. She returned with bandages and disinfectant. “Let me clean the wound before I do the healing. I don’t like the possibility of accidentally sealing an infection in there.” Theo nodded and she sat beside him. Sarafina was becoming accustomed to patching up his wounds by now. It didn’t take her long to clean up the blood and disinfect the gash. Then she used fire magick to close it up. In the end, she didn’t even need the bandages.
She sat back and admired her handiwork for a moment. All that remained was a rapidly healing ridge of flesh. Damn, she was getting good at this. “So, the air witch being killed was bad news, especially for the air witch, but Bai hasn’t tried to rip us to shreds in a whole two weeks. I count that as good.” “I don’t think he’ll try and rip you to shreds, Sarafina.” He paused. “At least not right away.” The implication of what he’d just said made her shiver. She swallowed hard.
“I don’t want to lie about what I think Bai wants from you.” She raised an eyebrow. “Well, there’s this saying about ignorance and bliss. .” “Ignorance only gets you killed in this world.” “Still, I think I liked it better when you weren’t talking much.” “I only speak when there’s something worthwhile to say.” She nodded. “No idle conversation for you.” “I don’t enjoy shallow conversation.” He shifted. “But if you would feel more at ease, I can try.” “I don’t enjoy shallow conversation, either, big guy.” She ran her gaze down his chest. “So, in the spirit of avoiding such topics, do you want to tell me how you got these?” He glanced down at his chest. “The Duskoff put them there. They captured me when I was a teenager and tried to break me physically. They wanted me to tie myself to them, become one of them.” “How would physical torture help their cause?” “They try seduction first. Torture is a last resort. It works like all abuse works. They break you down completely and build you back up in their image. By the time they’re done with you, you’ll give them anything.” Long pause.
“Did they whip you?”
“A little, but mostly these were made by a knife tip. There was a man there who got off on giving pain that way. It excited him.” Theo’s jaw locked. “He had a whole set of knives that he kept so sharp they didn’t even hurt when they sliced your skin.” He paused. “Not at first, anyway. He liked to draw patterns on people, considered himself a true artist.” Queasiness roiled her stomach. “God, I’m so sorry.” “It’s over and done. I don’t look back at the past.” Hmmm, maybe, but she could hear it in his voice — it still clung to him, anyway. They shared that burden — having a heavy past. Wanting to let it go, yet not being allowed to release it, not completely. In this one thing, she understood him. In this one thing, they shared a common bond.
The difference between them was that she’d not allowed herself to become emotionally scarred by her past and Theo had. That was clear enough.
She reached out and traced a long, thin white scar running from his shoulder down over his pecs. His flesh shivered under her touch and his breath caught almost too softly to hear. She flattened her palm against his warm skin and savored the steady,
strong beat of his heart thrumming under her hand.
“What you’ve done with these scars — you’ve made them magnificent. You’ve transformed them into something your own, art of your own. Taken your wounds and made something beautiful out of them.” He caught her hand in his so fast it made her gasp. Theo stared down at her. “Don’t push me.” He stood and walked toward the hallway.
“Push you? What are you talking about?” She rose from the couch.
Theo turned and stalked toward her. “You know what I mean. I’m attracted to you, and you know it. Don’t push me. This isn’t a game.” “What?” She shook her head, confused. Honestly, when she traced the scar on his chest the last thing she’d been thinking about was sex. She’d simply been moved by his experience and the marks he’d always wear to remind him. “Theo, I wasn’t trying to push you. Maybe I never should have touched you. I overstepped our boundaries. I’m sorry.” “I can’t be around you without wanting you.” He turned away from her, once again walking toward the hallway. Probably, he meant to escape into his bedroom. Run away.
Sarafina followed him. “Theo, wait. We need to talk this through.” Theo whirled and pushed her against the wall.
ELEVEN
HER BREATH LEFT HER IN A RUSH OF SURPRISE AND a spike of fear. She had to quickly remind herself that she trusted Theo and he meant her no harm.
His arms pinned her on either side of her body and his head dipped, his warm breath teasing the fine hair at the edges of her face. Goose bumps erupted all over her body. “The last thing I want to do with you is talk, Sarafina.” Theo moved his hand from her waist slowly down to her lower stomach, splaying it there.
Her stomach muscles tightened and her breath caught. “I didn’t know you were attracted to me,” she whispered. “You gave me no reason to think so.” “I’m giving you reason now.” His voice was low and melodic in a raw, masculine way. He spoke right next to her ear, sending shivers through her body.