by Radclyffe
“And you won’t go?”
Cam took Blair’s hand. “I won’t go.”
Blair bowed her head and kissed Cam’s fingers. “Thank you.”
Cam shook her head. “Don’t thank me. I love you. You let Stark and her team protect you, and I know how much you hate it. You do that because I need it.”
“It doesn’t feel like the same thing.”
“It is.” Cam threaded her fingers through Blair’s hair and drew her back down beside her. She kissed her. “It’s exactly the same thing.”
“This love thing is really hard, isn’t it?” Blair murmured.
Cam laughed. “It is. But I wouldn’t change a thing.” She guided Blair on top of her and shifted her legs so their bodies melded. “And it definitely has its advantages.”
Blair skimmed her mouth over Cam’s breast. “Let me show you just how many.”
Chapter Eighteen
Renée found Paula working at the desk that used to be Cameron Roberts’s in the far corner of the command center. Other than the agent watching the monitors at the opposite end of the room, the place was empty. It was five p.m. on Saturday, after all, and the agents who were off-shift were probably either with their families or out enjoying themselves. She couldn’t remember a time when Saturday night had seemed any different than a weeknight. She and Paula hadn’t had an evening alone together since before 9/11. And they weren’t going to tonight, either.
“We got a hit,” Renée said. “I’ll be leaving soon. Probably won’t be back until late morning.”
Stark put her pen down and pushed the work aside without looking up. After a pause, she shifted slowly in her chair and looked up at Renée. “You’re heading the mission?”
Renée nodded. The OHS team routinely shared intelligence with Blair’s protection detail, especially when the information impacted the first daughter’s security. This mission didn’t, not yet, but they all had a stake in tracking Matheson down. Especially Paula. Renée didn’t want to worry her lover any more than necessary, but she’d already changed into her black camos and T-shirt. She wasn’t wearing her weapons yet, but Paula had to know what kind of operation was planned.
“Where?” Paula asked.
“Where we suspected. Virginia.”
“How many people are going with you?” Paula asked.
“Enough. All good people.” Renée checked that the other agent’s attention was occupied, then squatted down beside Paula’s chair and put her hand on her knee. “I won’t be able to call until it’s over, but I will as soon as I can.”
Paula held Renée’s hand in both of hers, her head bowed as if she were studying the surface of Renée’s fingers. She rubbed her thumb over Renée’s knuckles. “You’re okay? You didn’t get much sleep.”
Renée leaned closer. “I’m fine, sweetie. I hate for you to worry.”
“Make sure someone has your back, okay?” Paula raised her head, her eyes dark with thinly disguised anxiety. “Don’t be a hero.”
“I don’t plan to be.” Renée kissed her. “We’ve got more than enough of them around here already.”
“Okay then,” Paula said, forcing a smile. “So I’ll see you tomorrow sometime. We may be on our way to Colorado by the time you get back.”
Renée brushed her thumb over Paula’s cheek, then straightened. “Then I’ll see you on the slopes. Love you.”
“I love you too,” Paula murmured.
Renée turned and walked swiftly away, knowing that the best way for her to ease the worry in her lover’s eyes was to get the job done, get it done right, and come home. That was exactly what she intended to do.
*
Blair closed her book and dropped it onto the floor beside the couch. She could feel Cam’s tension from across the room. “Why don’t you go downstairs.”
“In a few minutes.” Cam leaned over and kissed Blair’s forehead. “Trying to get rid of me?”
“Actually, yes. You’re driving me crazy with your pacing.”
“I’m not pacing.”
“We’re going to have to have the floors resurfaced in front of the windows, darling. You’ve walked off the varnish.”
“Sorry,” Cam muttered.
“Sit for a second.” Blair patted the space next to her. They’d slept all morning, then Cam had showered and gone to the command center. She’d come back a little over an hour before so they could eat dinner together. Cam tried to hide it, but Blair could tell she was distracted. “You’re sending a team out, aren’t you?”
Cam settled next to her and leaned her head back. “Yes.”
“Is it big?”
“We might have Matheson’s safe house.”
Blair tensed. “How?”
“Felicia tracked a suspect cell phone call to the Norfolk area. We found a property in the tower radius owned by a man named Jeremy Barton. He’s the son of an Army buddy of Matheson’s. We’re hoping Matheson is there.”
“Did Lucinda call in the special ops?”
“Not this time,” Cam hedged, since Lucinda didn’t know about the operation. No one did. “We’re going in fast and light. Just our people and some of Tanner’s.”
“Is Tanner here?” Blair knew her childhood friend employed a security force that was made up of ex-military people, and after seeing them in action she began to suspect that Whitley Industries had more involvement in what was happening in the Middle East than she had ever realized.
“Not Tanner. She flew Steph down with a couple of men.”
“What if Matheson is there and he’s got a force with him?”
Cam shook her head. “We’ve got satellite images—no cars, no real signs of activity for the last five hours. He knows we know who he is, and I expect he’s doing everything he can to stay under the radar. I doubt he’s going to have direct contact with any of his people, because he’s got to know we’re looking at everyone he’s ever been associated with. A lone man is the hardest to track.”
“When will you know?”
“Our team will arrive around midnight.”
“God, another sleepless night.”
Cam pulled Blair closer, settling her in the curve of her body. “If this operation is still ongoing in the morning, you’ll have to leave without me.”
“That’s not happening.” Blair ran her finger down Cam’s arm. Usually Cam dressed for work in a dress shirt and tailored pants, even when she spent the day in the OHS offices downstairs. Today she’d worn jeans and a faded blue cotton shirt. She looked sexy in either outfit, but Blair realized how rarely Cam was off duty these days. She wasn’t leaving for Colorado without her because she wasn’t entirely certain that Cam wouldn’t become wrapped up in something else that absolutely needed her attention and forget to come. “I’ll wait.”
“I know it’s a bad time—”
“It is what it is, Cam,” Blair said, surprised to find that she wasn’t angry. Oh, she was outraged at the uncertainty and vulnerability they all lived with every day, but she certainly wasn’t upset with her lover for doing what had to be done. “I’m sorry this is so hard for you. The waiting.”
Cam grimaced. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for this deputy director job. It doesn’t feel right sending my people out on a mission while I stay here.”
Blair laced her fingers through Cam’s. “I know you’re doing this for me, and I appreciate it. But—”
“I don’t want you to thank me. We’ve already been over that.”
“I wasn’t going to thank you.” Blair gave Cam’s hand a shake. “I was going to point out that my father thinks you’re the right person for this job, and Lucinda agrees, and so do I. And not just because I don’t want you in the field.” She rested her chin against the tip of Cam’s shoulder and circled Cam’s waist with both arms. “One person can’t fix this, darling, you know that. But you have a team that might be able to.”
“That’s right. My team. My people.” Cam sighed. “I should be there to have their backs.”
; “You do have their backs, by sending the best to do the job. You’re the team leader. You hold them all together.”
Cam rested her forehead against Blair’s. “It’s a lot easier to do than to stay behind and worry.”
Blair laughed and shook her head. “That’s something you don’t have to tell me, my love.”
“I’m sorry for that.” Cam buried her face in Blair’s hair. “I just hate watching.”
Blair felt Cam tremble and was instantly alert. This wasn’t fear—Cam never gave in to fear. This was something deeper. “Hey, hey.” She tightened her grip. “What is it?”
After a pause, Cam said so quietly Blair could barely hear her, “I keep thinking of that night when Janet was undercover and the operation went to hell. All I could do was watch while the trap closed around her. By the time I got to her…”
“Oh, baby.” Blair stroked Cam’s hair. Cam rarely talked about the night Janet, a narcotics detective and Cam’s on-again, off-again lover, was killed, but she knew the story. At least the details Cam had been able to share. Janet had been undercover, and somehow, the federal agents and the local detectives had failed to coordinate a raid on a warehouse where drugs were being exchanged for counterfeit money. Janet had been caught in the crossfire and killed. Cam had been shot trying to get her out. “Is that why you’re always the first to stand in front of the bullets?”
“Believe me, I don’t have a death wish,” Cam said. “I’m just doing my job.”
Cam’s voice was muffled against her neck, but Blair could hear the pain. “I know. But no one wants you to protect them at the cost of your life.” She rubbed Cam’s back and tried not to think about Cam taking the bullet that was meant for her. “Especially not me or any of the members of your team.”
“No one’s going to be doing any dying,” Cam said, straightening up. “I’m sending them in with a satellite link to the command center. I’ll have audio and video, and at the first sign of trouble, I’ll pull them out. If Matheson so much as points a squirt gun in their direction, he’s a dead man.”
Blair smiled as cold, hard fury settled in the pit of her stomach. “That sounds like a perfect plan. Especially the last part.”
“I need to go.” Cam kissed Blair. “Thanks. Thanks for letting me get that out.”
“Anytime. I love you.” Blair squeezed Cam’s shoulder, then gave her a little shove. “So go take care of your people.”
*
“Explain to me again the part about the…extracellular matrix stuff,” Dana said. Without raising her head, she scribbled in a tattered brown leather notebook with one hand and reached out with her right for her coffee cup.
Emory slid the glass mug closer to Dana’s fingers, noticing again the faint roughness to her fingertips. Several of her knuckles were marked with small healing lacerations. “What happened to your hands?”
“Hmm?” Dana looked up, surprised to see that the Starbucks had filled up sometime during the last hour. She’d been too busy getting down everything Emory explained about tissue engineering and stem cell diferentiation to even notice. She hadn’t expected the impromptu interview, and she didn’t want to miss a single sentence. Her research had indicated Emory was considered one of the world’s authorities in tissue engineering, but she was just now beginning to understand how significant that really was. Emory’s work could lead to a means of growing organs in the laboratory for tissue transplantation. “So you could grow a kidney, and someone wouldn’t have to wait for a donor, right?” Dana pushed a thick lock of hair off her forehead and absently sipped her cold coffee. “Or, Jesus, a heart. Right?”
“Theoretically, yes.” Emory smiled at Dana’s intensity. She’d never before experienced the kind of pleasure she had gotten over the last hour describing her work to Dana. She hadn’t thought she’d had an ego, but every time Dana complimented her, she felt a rush of heat.
“That could be big, right?” Dana said. “I mean really big. Like Nobel Prize big, right? It could change the entire face of transplant surgery.”
Emory covered Dana’s hand, which was clenched around her now forgotten coffee cup. “We’re a long ways away from that kind of territory yet.”
Dana frowned. “I don’t get why anyone would object to your research.”
“I understand some of the objections, theoretically at least,” Emory said. “Any scientific tool—any kind of tool at all, really—has a potential for misuse. Look at nuclear power. If appropriately harnessed, the power of the atom could free us from dependency on natural oil and gas. But what’s the first thing we make? Bombs so huge, so devastating, they can destroy entire cities and hundreds of thousands of lives.” Emory shrugged. “There are those who think today a kidney, tomorrow an infant. And then….” She quickly grew serious. “There are some who feel that what we’re doing is an affront against God, or an abomination of nature, or just plain egomaniacal. There are lots of arguments. I’m sure you know them.”
“People can get pretty wound up about those issues,” Dana said casually.
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“Did you know the person who attacked you in Boston?”
“No, he wasn’t…” Emory stopped suddenly and pulled her hand out from under Dana’s. “Why are you doing this? Why are you using what’s happening between us to take advantage of me?”
“How am I doing that?”
“By treating me like a story.”
“You are a story. You, Emory. You.” Dana’s expression darkened and when she leaned forward, her eyes sparked with anger. “Don’t you get it, Emory? If you’re in danger, publicizing it makes you safer. Letting the world know you’re a target for hatemongers and zealots will force the foundation to give you more security. It will make local law enforcement agents more alert the next time you step onto a stage. You’re an important person. Maybe one of the most important people in the world. What part of that don’t you get?”
“I don’t need you to worry about my safety.”
“Well, that’s just fine, but I already do.” Dana reached across the table and grabbed Emory’s hand. “And I happen to like holding your hand. I happen to like you a lot.”
“I don’t like you using the fact that I like you.” Emory kept her voice down even though she wanted to yell. “Is that why you kissed me earlier? Because you know it makes me stupid and senseless?”
“How can a simple little kiss make you stupid?”
“I don’t know,” Emory hissed, “but it does. I can’t think. All I can do is feel how hot your mouth is and how soft your lips are and how much I want you to keep kissing me. The tips of your fingers are rough, did you know that? I think about you rubbing them—” She closed her eyes. “Oh my God. Now I don’t even have to kiss you and I lose my mind.”
All the air left Dana’s chest as her stomach did a slow somersault. She knew Emory wasn’t trying to seduce her. In fact, it sounded like the last thing in the world Emory wanted was for something to happen between them. But just thinking about Emory wanting to be kissed—wanting to be kissed by her—was the sexiest thing she’d ever experienced. “It’s a damn good thing we’re sitting in a coffee shop right now.”
Emory opened her eyes. “Why?”
“Because I want to kiss you like you’ve never been kissed, and I don’t want to stop until we’re both naked and I’m inside you and I can watch you come.”
“I really haven’t thought beyond kisses,” Emory whispered. “So you might want to back up a step or two.”
Dana grinned, but her legs were shaking. If she’d been standing up, she might’ve fallen down. “I’m not using you, Emory. Yes, I want to write about you and what you do. But it’s more than that. I want to know you. I want to know why you do it.” She pulled her chair around the side of the small, round pedestal table until they were side by side. She kissed the side of Emory’s neck. “I want to know what pleases you. What frightens you. What makes you happy.” She turned Emory’s face to hers and kissed her on
the lips. “I want to make love to you.”
Emory traced her fingers over Dana’s mouth. “You have such beautiful lips. But I’m not ready to have an orgasm in a coffee shop.”
“I was thinking we would probably wait until we were in bed.”
Emory laughed. She wished they were alone so she could curl up in Dana’s lap and kiss her and be kissed, and touch her and be touched. Her body had never felt so alive. “I’m glad we’re not alone right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I think I would let you take me to bed, and I’m not ready for that.” She laughed again, her voice shaking as much as her insides. “Well, at least not all of me is ready.”
“Okay.” Dana eased away but kept Emory’s hand in hers. “No orgasms tonight. But will you come back with me? Just stay in the apartment with me. I promise I won’t ask you any questions.”
Emory looked down at Dana’s hand and ran her thumb over the scratches. Then she looked into Dana’s eyes. “What if I want to ask you questions?”
Dana wanted to say no, but how could she ask for what she wasn’t willing to give? She nodded. “All right. But I have one stipulation.”
Emory quirked an eyebrow.
“You did agree earlier that a kiss or two would be a reasonable expectation on my part.”
“One or two.” Emory appeared to be considering it. “As long you promise not to get greedy.”
“I’m not usually greedy by nature,” Dana said. But where Emory was concerned, all bets were off.