by Xavier Neal
“-with whoever you feel like it without consequences. This isn't your first year in the spotlight. You know what to expect. She doesn't.” Someone yells her name again and she points firmly at me again. “You have a meet and greet in a few minutes, then it's mingling hour before they start running the episodes. I can't get you out of here before then, but I'll pull some cards out of my back pocket to get you home early, so you can apologize.”
“But I didn't do anything wrong!”
“You can't actually believe that, can you?” J.J. questions.
As Caroling rushes away, I turn to him. “I didn't. I didn't cheat on her-”
“Technically.”
“No. Not just technically! I'm not a cheater! I met with Tessa because she wanted to catch up. It felt harmless enough, so I went. We ate. I went straight home to Minka after.”
“Sounds like a bad affair.”
Now he sounds like my girlfriend. Fucking great.
“You didn't technically cheat, just like you didn't technically lie. But in my experience withholding the truth is a lie of omission and going out with a woman who is not your significant other without telling them is cheating.” He shrugs. “Call it what you want, but you basically fucked up. Royally.”
The realization tenses the back of my neck.
I squeeze it at the same time he asks, “Why'd you go to dinner with Tessa anyway? I know you guys parted on okay terms but I didn't think you were friends.”
“We are. We're typically not ever in the same state at the same time. We actually caught up a little when I met Eddie for drinks at Cloud Passion. He suggested it would be a good idea to keep the bridge between us open in case I branch out of television someday. You know it's all about who you fucking know in this business. Or in some cases who you're willing to fuck in this business. So, when he encouraged us to grab a bite together, I took his advice.”
J.J. gives me a skeptical expression.
“Seriously. There's nothing between Tessa and me. Nothing. The only woman I want, I was a complete dick to a couple hours ago.”
He chuckles. “How bad?”
“On a scale of one to burn down everything I own? Probably a kitchen fire?”
His laughter starts again and he tosses an arm around my shoulder again. “We'll get you out of here early so you can go beg until your knees are bruised and apologize until your nuts are empty.”
Heading toward the room we're expected in I sigh, “Appreciate it.”
“Yeah. Of course. Besides, I like Minka. She reminds me of Gen. She's not fucking camera hungry. She's doesn't care about the amount of make up on her face or the price of the shoes on her feet. The only thing that matters is she's happy and has a reason to smile. Most importantly, I know what you were like before her. You were starting to lose the roots of yourself you were desperately trying to hold onto. Minka helped ground you again. Remind you not everyone is a greedy, money hungry bastard. That there are real people still out there. She's the kind of woman you don't let go.”
I try to offer him a smile.
He's right. She's not. And I hope like hell I can fix this.
**
Caroline keeps good on her word, has me fake a stomach ache of epic proportions and helps me sneak out half way through the first episode.
In the SUV, she's got her face buried on her phone in the seat across from me while Gunz is up front with my driver. “Are you kidding me?!”
I look over at her in question.
“These photos are so suggestive,” she complains. “If I was Minka I would've flipped out too.”
“Okay but suggestive isn't-”
“Save it.” Caroline holds up a hand. “In fact...did you say Eddie told you it would be a good idea to go out with her?”
“I didn't go out with her I-”
“Answer the question.”
Am I in court? God, if she needs another career after this attorney would be perfect.
“Yeah. Eddie did.”
With a slow shake of her head, she rolls her eyes. “I hate him as much as I love him.”
I lift an eyebrow in question.
“The reason Eddie is the best at what he does is because he can put out a fire as quickly as he can start one. This.” She pushes the photo at my face again. “Was a marketing ploy.”
My jaw cracks open.
“Think about it. New season about to launch, what a better way to draw more attention to it than to get your name in everyone's head for another reason. Have them searching for more on the situation and you. And Tessa,” Caroline's voice drifts at the same time her fingers tap the keys. When she lifts her phone back at me, there's a headline that makes me shift uncomfortably. “Has a new movie releasing next month. Attention. Attention. Attention.”
I let my head hit the back of the seat harshly. “You're telling me I was just fucking played.”
“Pretty much,” she hums.
Shutting my eyes, I curl my fists in uncontrollable anger.
“Eddie knew exactly what he was doing. Chances are he probably let Tessa in on the scam but kept you in the dark for obvious reasons.”
Through gritted teeth I grouse, “Like my actual girlfriend.”
“More like the amount of press that would come with a scandal when you brought her out tonight.”
Making Minka's decision not to come the right one. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“I wanna talk to Eddie about this shit tomorrow.” Turning my face to hers I gripe, “My personal life isn't a fucking press stunt. It's mine. There aren't many things I can control in this business, but that's one. This shit can't happen again.”
“You say that like you don't know this isn't the first time he's done it,” Caroline says in a cautious tone. As soon as disbelief pops on my face she sighs, “Oh...you don't know.” She shuts off her phone and explains, “Pierce, one reason your agent loves Eddie is because he's the chess master of headlines. More headlines means more exposure which makes you more desirable ect… ect. There have been numerous situations orchestrated by him to get you on front page prints. Don't ever mistake his actions as actually wanting to help you. The stunt double switches aren't because he wants you to have relief and a moment to breathe, they're because what you're really doing is boring and won't make a splash worth reading about it.”
See what I mean. Nothing in this business is what it seems. Here I thought I had someone trying to help me from dreading waking up most mornings and instead he's just another reason to. With the exception of Caroline, Gunz, and J.J. I really can't trust anyone around me. Guess it's my own fucking fault for being too stupid to learn the very lesson I thought I already had.
The remainder of the car ride is in silence.
As we pull into my driveway, Caroline sighs, “I'll rearrange your morning schedule to try to give you two some time together to finish making up. You don't have anything major after tomorrow until you start filming on Wednesday. Use that time to really make sure Minka knows which Pierce she loves.”
Gunz leans around the seat. “She's a good woman.”
Hearing the man of few words declare what I already know makes it hurt more than it already did. After giving them both a nod and a goodnight, I rush for my front door, unsure of exactly what else to say besides I'm sorry.
Right. And that I'm a dick. She was right. And again that I'm a dick. Asshole? Is that better?
Inside, I shove my keys in my pocket and call out, “Minka!”
Not seeing her lying on the couch like I expected moves me hastily towards my bedroom. I sling the door open being exposed to a neatly made bed and an empty room. Her luggage is gone. Her computer is gone. She...she's gone.
No...she wouldn't just leave like that.
Frantically, I rush out of my room and around the house, yelling her name and checking the others for any sign of her. After double checking and eventually triple checking every room of the house I brace my back against the hall wall. Both of my hands clasp on top of my head as my body sl
ides down for the ground.
This...this can't be happening. She can't be gone. I can't have lost the love of my life as accidentally as I found her.
Minka
Emerson hands me the fast food bag. “I'm still shocked you got on a plane by yourself and flew home. That...that alone is impressive enough for you to up size those tater tots.”
Snatching it from her I grunt, “Who are you telling? I had no idea what I was doing. I just...kinda did it. Lucked out they had one straight flight left with some seats. Thanks again for picking me up...”
“Of course,” Em parks the car as I rip the bag open carelessly.
Normally I'm not allowed to eat in here or anywhere near her precious 350z because 'it's not a goddamn kitchen table' but sympathy has a funny way of changing people's minds.
Once I've coated the hot dog in mustard I shove a huge bite into my mouth. Chewing viciously, I try to enjoy the first real food I've had all day. Emerson merely stares on while I devour my emotions.
“It was hard to understand you on the phone,” she begins slowly. “But um...I take it those photos were real?”
Those were real. He's a real asshole. And now....now I don't know what to think.
I shove a handful of tater tots in my mouth and angrily mumble through bites, “They were fucking real!”
“I can't believe he cheated on you.”
“He says nothing happened.”
Before I can stuff my mouth further, she grabs my hand. “Slow down Cookie Monster.”
Don't laugh.
“What do you mean he said nothing happened?”
“He said he didn't cheat. He just had dinner with her and they caught up.”
“And you didn't believe him?”
I offer her a sarcastic look as an answer.
“Well, maybe that's all that really happened.”
“Maybe it is, but he wasn't honest with me. He would've never told me about it had I not seen the article. How many other things did he think he didn't need to mention or what's to stop him from pulling bullshit like that in the future? 'Oh no. My dick slipped. I didn't think it was a big deal.' Yeah. No. Pass. So much pass.” Pouring more mustard on my hot dog I continue to rant, “And he said he was babying me from the woes of his work. Seriously? Babying me? And if that wasn't enough of an insult to injury when I told him I didn't wanna go any more he said 'Fine. Dates are a dime a dozen'. A dime a fucking dozen! Like I don't mean anything to him!” Suddenly tears begin to flood my eyes. “Like I'm just another groupie in his bed.”
“Oh Minka,” Emerson softly says and wraps her arms around me carefully avoiding the stain ridden disaster of food between us.
“Even if he didn't cheat on me, he showed me what I was really afraid of.”
Her hand strokes my back. “What's that?”
“That the man the rest of the world sees will always win over the one I fell in love with.”
She makes a sympathetic sound as more tears fall from my eyes.
Funny thing about books and reality. I could scribble in a few well-placed lines, a romantic exchanging of apologies and give you a happily ever after. But I can't do that now. This isn't a Minka Knight novel. The grim reality is happily ever after is just temporary. Looks like mine's over. Permanently. I guess I should just be grateful I finally got a story worth reading about.
Pierce
Tossing back another shot of Jack Daniels I croon, “Siimmmmmmppllleeeeee....”
The other words to the Lynryd Skynyrd song are lost somewhere in the glass. Liquor drips down the corner of my lips as I try to sing again, “Simmmmmmmpllleeeee....”
“You can't go on set like this,” Caroline appears in front of me.
Holy shit...when'd she get there. She's like a genie. I wish I had a genie. I'd go back in time and undo everything. I wouldn't be an actor. I'd be something amazin' like a doctor or a used car salesman.
“I'm vine,” I shout over the music.
Swiftly she snatches the remote and kills the music.
“Hey!”
“You're not fine.” A huff leaves her. “In fact if you could even see the line of fine from where you are right now, you'd nut punch yourself for acting this way.”
“Wha way?”
Her face cringes. “How much have you had to drink?”
“Meh.”
She marches over and snatches the bottle away from me. Jiggling it around, she scowls again. “This was the special occasion bottle J.J. ordered you for your last birthday. It hadn't been opened. Now there's a rain drop left.”
I shrug.
Caroline ruffles her hair. “Pierce, I know you're not dealing too well with your break up-”
“We're not soken up! She's...she's just needs some thime to sink.”
“Right.” Her head bobs. “Three weeks of not answering your calls or message is just time to think.”
I point a wobbly finger at her. “Precisely.”
Minka's special. She just needs extra time to think. Get the perfect words to put me in my place and eventually let me beg forgiveness. I...I'm patient or trying to be.
“My point, Pierce, is you can't throw you career away because you're sad-”
“I can!” I shout. “I can and I will! I'm so....” My head rolls around. “Sired of being sold wha I san and san not do!”
Huh? Those were Cs.
“Arguing with you while you’re inebriated is stupid, so I'm going to stop and march out of here to tell Erick his star isn't going to make it onto set again today.”
With another shrug I request, “Can you surn the music sack on?”
“No.”
“You're mean.”
Her rambles are followed by me stretching on my couch to pout. I shut my eyes and enjoy the feeling of the cold leather against my burning face.
Why's it so fucking hot in this trailer? Don't I pay for air conditioning?
**
There's a poking between my ribs that causes me to groan.
I open one eye to see J.J. sitting on my couch.
Wasn't I just up there?
“You look like shit.”
My eye shuts again.
He kicks me as a result. “Fuck...”
“You've been out for almost two days,” J.J. informs opening my eyes once more. “What do you say you have a shower? Some coffee? Maybe even some food that's not in the form of liquor?”
Rolling over onto my back, I groan again at the steady throbbing in my skull. “Fuck...”
“Yes my dear boy. That's how a bender feels.”
I don't comment.
Wouldn't know. I've never been this consistently fucked up. Partied a little more frequently in the early days, but never steadily wasted like this. And I do mean steady. After Minka bolted it started with beers. Every day just gradually got worse. Honestly? I don't even remember the last week. I don't even know where we are. I think we're in Seattle?
“Erick's canceled filming any scenes that involve us for the week. He's worried man. Like really fucking worried.”
Annoyed I grouse, “He's worried about his precious fucking show.”
“You know damn well Erick isn't like that,” J.J. argues. “Remember when Gen got sick back in season three? Remember how he shut down production for two weeks so I could go and take care of her?”
Recalling causes my head to ache.
Only light and fluffy thoughts from now on.
“Remember when Tito's kid was born way too early? He rearranged the schedule to film everything humanly possible without him while Tito went to be with his son. Erick isn't a dick like everyone else in our lives. Money isn't his first instinct. Shit, remember back in the beginning when the budget was low and he could either pay us a little extra or pay a little more for better effects. What did he do?”
“He paid us extra and gave up his salary to cover the cost of the lost production budget.”
“Exactly. So when I say he's worried I fucking mean he's worried. Hell, we all are.
Caroline's running around like she's afraid you're going to die from liver failure. Gunz sleeps in front of your fucking door to make sure you're not disturbed and I'm....I'm fucking terrified I'm about to lose my brother without being given a fair shot at trying to save him.”
My head shifts to look up at J.J. “I'm miserable.”
“Yeah. The Jack and lack of showering pretty much gave that away.”