by Ruby Rowe
“Have you talked to Nicole?” I ask.
“I called her last night. I told her to stop by sometime, but it was pointless. You need to do what I said and let this go. I think being sick made me emotional, and I was looking for someone else to lean on so I wouldn’t hurt you.
“Besides, Nicole’s struggling to even be my friend. There’s no way she’ll agree to spend time with me while I figure out if I want more with her.”
He reaches his hand over to the end of the couch to hold mine. “I don’t need anyone else, Sailor. I love you.”
“There was a reason you invited Nicole to our party and went to her house to confide in her. It’s the same reason you let her take you to have your medical procedures without our knowledge.
“I love you, but I have to know without a shadow of a doubt where you stand before this baby arrives. Jake and I will be at Thatcher’s wedding Saturday and staying at the apartment that night. Have Nicole come over to visit while we’re gone. Maybe you’ll find your answer.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Jake
“Is Sailor still getting ready?” Elliott asks me from the recliner after I walk out of my room with my tux hanging off my shoulder.
“Yep.”
“Are you sure I should have Nicole over while you’re gone? I don’t want Sailor upset and it ruining your time with her at the wedding.”
“She’s OK with it. She even seems excited about going. I’m glad she’s socializing more than when we met.”
I hear my door shut before Sailor walks into the living room. My eyes start at her shiny tresses and work their way down her slender neck to the deep V in her thin cream blouse.
It’s tucked inside a short, pleated navy skirt that doesn’t hide the luscious shape of her hips, which have become noticeably curvier over the last couple of weeks.
“Damn, you’re smokin’ hot.”
She blushes. “Thank you. Elliott, are you sure you don’t need us to come home after the reception?”
“I’m sure. I have a nurse staying the night, who I don’t even need.”
“I feel better knowing you won’t be alone.” Her spiked heels click across the floor as she goes over to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“You look sensational, by the way,” he says.
“Thanks. Now, be nice to your nurses.”
“Always.”
“Uh, huh, right.” Sailor winks at him before glancing at me. “I only need to run upstairs to grab my overnight bag. Our Uber should be here any minute.”
***
We’re dropped off at the church on 53rd St. Thatcher and Marybeth will be married here with their reception following the ceremony at Midtown Loft and Terrace. We barely make it through the doors when we spot Naomi speaking to a few women at a back pew.
“Sailor, I’m so glad you’re here,” she says as she rushes toward us. “Marybeth’s best friend, Cassandra, is grounded at the airport in Minneapolis due to a snowstorm. She couldn’t fly in until today, which was her first mistake.
“Anyway, we thought our cousin Rory could fill in for her, but she can’t fit in Cassandra’s dress. You’re the exact size, so would you please be in the wedding? You’d get to stand across from Jake.”
Sailor looks at me and back to Naomi.
“There’s no other friend or relative she’d prefer to have as a bridesmaid?” she asks.
“It doesn’t matter; none of them are your size. Besides, Marybeth said having a Lockwood in the wedding only adds to its prestige.”
“Jesus, Naomi. How do you manage to have less of a filter than I do?” I ask.
“It’s no problem,” Sailor says. “I’d be happy to help.”
“Great! Come with me.” Hooking her arm around Sailor, Naomi pulls her toward a door off to the side. “Jake, the guys are back here, too.” Since I’m part of the wedding party, we arrived before most of the guests.
I admire the church’s architecture before me. The building’s over a hundred years old, and the ceilings must be close to one hundred feet tall.
They tower above, along with ornate carvings that encase sapphire stained glass, all of which give the church an ancient, gothic feel. I’ve been here once before with my parents, and like the first time, I’m in awe of its design.
Figuring I should find the guys, I head toward the door Sailor and Naomi disappeared through. It should be an exciting evening.
Sailor
Thank goodness my baby bump hasn’t appeared yet. I turn away from the mirror to look over my shoulder at the back of the lace burgundy dress that lands right above my knees.
Since Naomi’s not wearing her long hair up, Marybeth said I could leave mine down, too. I was happy to hear it since I spent an hour curling my straight strands.
“Here are your flowers,” Naomi says as she hands me a small bouquet of burgundy ranunculus and cream roses. The layers of silk petals are beautiful, and nestled between them are berry sprigs and Queen Anne’s lace. Growing up affluently, I know my flowers. They were always on our tables and filled our outdoor gardens.
I face Marybeth, whose mother and grandmother have been putting the finishing touches on her. I cover my mouth. She’s stunning, every little girl’s idea of the perfect bride. Her understated makeup is flawless, and her honey-blond hair is up in a twist with only a few flyaway strands framing her face.
“Marybeth, you’re breathtaking, and thank you for inviting me to be a part of your special day.”
“Aww, Sailor, thank you. I’m grateful you saved the day.” She squeals. “Are we ready?”
“Yes, we should be going,” her wedding planner says. The young woman, maybe my age, looks nervous as she messes with the train of Marybeth’s dress.
We make our way to the nave where we’ll begin our walk down the aisle. I have to go first, and that stinks. I thought she’d have more bridesmaids than this.
The wedding planner steps out to see if it’s time, and as the angelic processional begins, she nods toward the woman who’s supervising the flower girl and ring bearer. They’re maybe five or six years old, and since I was cornered into this ceremony only an hour ago, I have no idea who the children belong to.
Once they’re close to the altar, I walk out to the aisle. The guests are turned to face me, and as I follow the trail of rose petals, I feel as if a hundred sets of eyes are nailing me to a cross. I’d be cussing Marybeth’s friend Cassandra with every step if it weren’t for the fact I’m in a church.
Reaching the handsome groom and groomsmen, I take my place and face them. I can’t even deny that Harrison cleans up nicely. They smile at me, but once my eyes lock with Jake’s, I have no desire to look anywhere else. His grin and soft eyes always keep me from falling.
Walking in front of me, Naomi breaks my trance with Jake. We pivot to watch Marybeth, and as the music changes to the bride’s processional, I feel my emotions joining the celebration.
Marybeth is halfway down the aisle when I can’t resist glancing back at Thatcher. He’s staring at her as if the heavens have gifted him the meaning of life and that miracle is coming right toward him. It’s touching, making it hard to believe how many marriages end in divorce.
I start to look at Marybeth again, but I catch sight of Jake. He’s gazing at me, and after a few seconds, it’s impossible to deny that he’s seeing me the same way Thatcher’s seeing his soon-to-be bride.
No words have to leave Jake’s lips to explain the love his eyes bestow; there’s a depth of admiration I’ve never felt before, even from him. Our bodies are feet apart, but there’s no distance that could separate our souls.
I press my hand to my chest as the seismic truth shakes me to my core. It shatters my doubts and fears. Jake’s love and presence will never waiver. He’d only leave me if his heart failed to beat. Elliott can no longer say the same.
Elliott
The doorbell rings, and the male RN working second shift heads for the door to answer it. I hate that I’m nervous to see Nico
le. I’m normally not like this … weak and off-kilter.
I push back my damp hair, and even that movement causes me pain. At least I was able to get a shower. It wasn’t easy, and now I’m exhausted, but I want to see Nicole.
“Hi, she says with a hesitant smile.
“Hi.” I nod to the nurse. I told him before Nicole arrived that he wasn’t to step foot in the living room while she was here unless I called for him. I’m such an easy patient.
Taking off her jacket, Nicole sits at the end of the couch closest to me, and I get a whiff of her rose scent. She’s in a long-sleeve, snug shirt, and the light green color brings out the grassy-green in her hazel eyes.
“You look better than I expected,” she says.
“I hear it’s a huge improvement from the day of surgery. Jake took a picture to show me how much I looked like a science project. The guy should spend a night in the ER.”
She laughs. “Jake’s funny.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy. We’re a lot closer than we used to be. You’ll have to help yourself, but there are plenty of drinks in the refrigerator if you’d like one.”
“I’m good. Do you need anything?”
“No, but thanks. I got my water here.” I glance to my plastic bottle. “I’m practically living in this chair. We put an adjustable bed in Jake’s room, and I sleep in it at night. He and Sailor moved to the spare room upstairs.”
God, I’m jabbering like a fucking idiot.
She reveals a humored yet perplexed expression.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing. It’s none of my business.”
“Come on. I want to hear.”
“OK. I was trying to imagine how the sleeping arrangements worked around here before you were sick.”
I feel my cheeks flush. “Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah. I’m intrigued.”
“OK … before I was sick, Sailor would stay in Jake’s room while I worked, and she’d mostly stay in mine the nights I was home. It changed depending on what was going on.
“Like, if Jake was tired or gone at night for a case, she’d stay with me, or if my grouchiness pissed her off, she’d stay with Jake.” I grin. “We haven’t had too many rules, and we’ve come to the conclusion that we’re the worst participants of a polyamorous relationship.”
“Why is that?”
“The first couple of months went smoothly. I think we were all on our best behavior, but then Jake and I had trouble hiding our jealousy, mainly Jake. By Christmas, he was finding the relationship near impossible, and he bailed after the holidays, saying he couldn’t share Sailor.”
“What made him come back?”
“He decided he’d rather make this work than give her up. I knew he’d come around. He loves her too much.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Yeah, he’s good for her.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Uh, they’re more alike, and if someone asked which one of us makes her happier, I’d have to admit it’s probably Jake. It’s like they’re more in sync or something. It’s hard to explain. All I know is the smile I see on her face when he’s near her is different than the one I see when we’re alone.”
I shake my head. “I hadn’t really thought about it before you asked, and I can’t believe I shared that. I think my pain pills are making me loose-lipped.”
“Can’t they cause that?”
“Yeah, they can. I’ve witnessed it in the ER more times than I could count.”
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
Shit. I rub the back of my neck. I do feel something for Nicole. I know it because I want to tell her, yet I’m intimidated as hell, and that never happened when we dated before.
I’ve always been smooth with women, and I fear I’m going to crash and burn before I even begin. I guess having a lobe of my lung removed, and being on narcotics, could cause it. I’m going with that, anyway.
“Elliott?”
“Sorry. I don’t know the best way to say this, and I don’t know how you’re going to react.”
“I have no idea what it could be, but you can tell me anything.”
I attempt to reposition myself in my chair, and the pain from my chest steals my breath.
“Are you OK?”
I gradually exhale. “No, but I will be. Fuck it. I’m just going to say it. I like you.”
“Like me… I don’t understand.”
“I like you as more than a friend.”
“What? No.”
“Yeah, I do.”
She rubs her forehead. “So, what you’re saying is, you brought me to the home you share with your girlfriend, who happens to be pregnant with your baby, to tell me that you have feelings for me.”
“Damn, it sounds bad when you put it that way.”
“Oh, my God, are you trying to make me a homewrecker or expand this three-way relationship you’re a part of?”
“Neither. Christ, that thought never crossed my mind. This relationship with Jake and Sailor was nothing any of us wanted. We only did it because we didn’t know any other way to handle our situation.”
She shakes her head. “After you ended our two years of casual dating, I cried for weeks. I loved you, and when I finally thought I was moving on, you sucked me back in, but I don’t want it. You’re not single, you’re expecting a child, and you still love Sailor, right?”
“Calm down.”
“No. You’re an asshole for doing this to me.”
I furrow my brow. “I told Sailor you’d react this way.”
“You two discussed this?”
“Yeah. She and Jake know, and they told me to figure out if I wanted to be with you. I do love Sailor, but I don’t know what kind of love it is anymore.”
Heavy tears begin to fall, and Nicole’s hurt stares back at me. How do I dig my way out of this fuckup? “I’m sorry. I know you deserve better than a situation this complicated, but I’m not the man I was when we dated before.”
“I’m aware of that, but I can’t have my heart broken again, either.”
“I wanted to bury my feelings to protect you and Sailor, but it wouldn’t have worked. I like you too much.”
Grabbing her purse and jacket, she stands and brushes away her tears. She’s going to draw up her strength and fight this. She’s too strong a woman not to.
“Tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do with this news?”
“I’m asking you to spend time with me to see if there’s something more between us than before.”
“More…?” She grips her hip. “There was more on my end before.”
“I’m sorry. My timing couldn’t be worse, but I’ve changed. I’m only asking you to hang out with me. I don’t need you to take care of me while I’m sick, and I’m not looking for sexual favors. I’m only asking for your company.”
“I need time to think. I have to go.” She bolts for the door before I can plead my pathetic case any longer. Once again, I’m groveling to a woman for a second chance.
Maybe it was always supposed to be Nicole, but I couldn’t see beyond my past. I needed Sailor to forgive me for it first. The problem is, Nicole shouldn’t have to risk her heart again all because I’ve worked through my baggage.
Jake
“You were quiet in the limo, and you’ve barely touched your one hundred dollar plate dinner,” I say as I lean in to Sailor at the reception. “Are you feeling OK?”
Turning her head, she gazes into my eyes. “I love you.”
I give her a crooked smile. “I love you, too, doll.” The flickering light from the candle on our table illuminates her ebony irises. How did I get so lucky to look at eyes this soulful?
“Dance with me,” she says. I listen for the song… It’s “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele. Taking her hand, I lead her to the dance floor, and as I pull her close in the crowd, I get an even better look at her gorgeous face.
The strands of lights hanging above us showcase her sm
ooth skin and button nose. Fuck, will I ever not be lovesick for this woman?
I bared it all to Sailor during the wedding. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I couldn’t stop staring at her or experiencing intense feelings. I wanted to marry her on the spot.
I clasp her chin. “I freaked you out during the ceremony, didn’t I?”
Shaking her head, she smiles shyly. “No. Listen to the words of this song and hold me. I want you to feel my love the way I felt yours during the wedding.”
She presses her lips against mine for a beat. “I’ll make sure you feel it even more once we’re alone.” I hold her closer, like she requested, and we sway to the music. I do feel her love. I feel it like I never have before.
***
After kicking off her heels at the side of the bed, Sailor says, “Unzip me.” We’ve been like a furnace turned up too high since we slow-danced at the reception.
Only a few songs later, we were calling a cab, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other on the way to our apartment.
Moving her hair to the side, I gradually unzip her bridesmaid dress and press kisses to her shoulder as my hands inch their way down her back. She shudders from my touch and reaches up to run her fingers through my hair.
“I love you,” she whispers. Sailor has said those words more times than I could count since the wedding.
I whisper back, “I love you, too” and slide her dress over her shoulders. She takes over, working it off, so I remove my clothes, as well.
She reaches behind and unhooks her bra, letting it fall to the floor. After examining her marvelous tits, which are a good handful now, I massage them and play with her nipples. Damn, her whimpers cause my dick to ache.
Becoming eager, she skirts her panties down her legs and kicks them off. She takes my hand and pulls me down on the bed next to her.
“All that you were feeling during the ceremony, I felt it too,” she says, “and I’ll never question your commitment to me again. I know you’ll never leave.”