by Amber Garza
“Oh, I guess I didn’t know….” My stomach soured. Man, he must’ve dated a lot of girls then.
He pushed off his car and stepped closer to me. His eyes met mine. I held my breath. “Maybe next time before you accuse someone of something, you should do your homework.” He was so close, warm breath met my skin. “I’m not as shallow as you think I am.” Drawing back, his lips curled upward at the corners. He stepped backward a few steps and then threw me a wave. “I gotta get inside and get cleaned up. I’ll talk to you later.”
My tongue was as dry as a wad of cotton, and I couldn’t formulate a response. Instead, I forced a wobbly smile. Man, why didn’t I keep my mouth shut? He was clearly annoyed about what I said. And I guess I didn’t blame him. It was kind of insulting.
Ugh. Groaning, I stared up at the sky as I heard his front door slam.
Way to go, Rem.
TWENTY
There were so many people here.
Hands shaking, I scanned the filled bleachers, silently counting each head. It was futile. There were too many. Our team scored a touchdown, and the crowd screamed and clapped. I doubted anyone was here for the halftime show. Probably didn’t even care about it. Well, except my mom, who stood in the center of the stands holding her phone like she was all set to video us. But she was probably the only person here to watch us. Hopefully everyone else would clear out during halftime, grab a hot dog or nachos or something.
I took a deep breath. Butterflies attacked my stomach, clawing, scratching, and eating through it.
“You’re gonna be great.” Ava tugged on my arm. “You sounded amazeballs during rehearsal.”
I laughed at her word choice.
“I’m serious.”
I nodded, breathing in and out slowly. Halftime was fast approaching. I prayed I wouldn’t hurl. The crowd cheered again. Looking up at the field, I spotted Nick. He high-fived one of his teammates. We hadn’t talked since the day of my epic fail.
A million times I’d thought of messaging him and apologizing, but I was too chicken.
He probably hated me, anyway.
When Nick jogged past the cheerleaders, Brooke squealed his name. He turned toward her and pointed. She smiled broadly and giggled. My stomach twisted.
For not dating, they sure flirted a lot.
“It’s almost time, ladies.” Sam sauntered over, wearing his band uniform, holding his hat and saxophone.
The butterflies resumed their vicious attack. Ava wove her arm through mine, offering me an encouraging squeeze.
Everything was a blur as we made our way out onto the field. I was fuzzy-headed and out of it as if I’d been partying it up. I kind of wish I had. Maybe I would’ve been less nervous if I’d been drunk.
The marching band started playing. Our first song was a group number, thank god. My solo was in the next one. As I sung, my nerves dissipated. I could hear Ava next to me, and it calmed me further. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
Now that I was up here, the butterflies had stilled to a quiet flutter of wings. Nothing like the all-out feeding frenzy from earlier. I could still feel them, but barely.
We made it through the first song, and now it was time for mine. The familiar notes rang out, and I took a deep breath, preparing myself. The lyrics appeared in my mind like words on a screen.
I opened my mouth and allowed the words to pour from my throat. Closing my eyes, I tuned out the world around me, hearing only the music and my own voice. My pitch was on, my tone full and rich. Ava was right. I did sound amazeballs.
When I dared to glance up, the first person I saw was Mom. She had her camera up high as she recorded, and her face was beaming. It boosted my confidence. I sang a little louder.
And that’s when I saw them. Brooke and the rest of the cheerleaders. They were laughing at us. At me. And they were whispering to one another. Brooke’s gaze met mine, her narrowed eyes and pursed lips like a sucker punch to the gut. I knew that look. I’d seen it so many times while we hung out. She thought I was lame. A joke. A loser.
My stomach plummeted, and my voice started to waver. Ava glanced over, nodding subtly, but it was too late. I’d lost my confidence. I felt sick.
Nick was nowhere in sight, but I was sure he thought I was a joke too. Hot tears pricked at the back of my eyes, but I blinked hard and kept singing. If I lost it now it would make everything worse. They were looking for a reason to tease me. I wouldn’t give them one.
I had wanted this solo so badly. Now all I wanted was for it to be over.
When it finally was, I hung my head and breathed deeply. There were a smattering of claps, but nothing like there were when our team scored. Not that I expected there to be. Most people were chatting or eating or taking a bathroom break. Like I said earlier, no one came for this.
Well, except my mom.
I could hear her clapping and cheering. And as sweet as it was, it only made me feel worse. My mom was my biggest fan.
Awesome.
But then to my right, a loud booming clap rang out. Then a cheer and a whistle. I looked in the direction of it.
Nick stood a few feet in front of us, clapping and cheering. His gaze crashed into mine, and he flashed a thumbs-up. My body flushed, my cheeks heating up. Ava gave me a sidelong glance and smiled. I bit my lip. From over Nick’s shoulder, Brooke frowned and glared hard at me. But I didn’t care anymore.
What she thought wasn’t important.
Nick liked it, and he wasn’t afraid to let everyone know.
Maybe he was the same Nick I’d fallen for in 1993. Maybe there was hope for us yet.
***
Late that night I got a message.
Nick: Your solo was lit.
I laughed.
Me: Thanks. So was your quarterbacking.
It took a couple minutes for his response.
Nick: Quarterbacking?
Me: Is that not a word?
Nick: Not that I know of.
Me: Okay. Then your playing was lit.
Nick: Thanks.
I was about to send a happy face emoji, but then deleted it.
Me: Hey, I’m sorry about what I said the other day.
Nick: No worries.
Having no idea what else to say, I figured now was a good time to send the happy face emoji.
He sent back a music note emoji followed by a fire emoji.
I sent back the word “Quarterbacking” with a fire emoji after it.
He sent back the laughing face emoji.
It made me smile. In real life. Not in emoji speak.
TWENTY-ONE
It was the week of homecoming proposals. They were all over campus and all over social media. Some were cool and original and others were stupid and cheesy. But they all made me crazy jealous.
I’d never been asked to homecoming.
Well, not in 2018, anyway.
Before Ian cheated on me, I figured I’d go with him this year. I even imagined how he’d ask me. Maybe play a portion of my favorite song or coordinate a flash mob at lunch. He did neither of those things.
Instead, he stood in the parking space next to the one Ava parked at this morning holding a sign that read: Remy, I like you a latte. Go to homecoming with me. In his other hand he held a white paper cup with what I assumed had a latte inside.
Was he for real right now?
“Oh, no he didn’t,” Ava muttered under her breath as she killed the engine.
I slumped down in my seat, hoping to avoid the entire thing.
One thing I’ll say about Ian – he didn’t know how to take a hint.
“Remy?” He rapped on the window.
When I looked up through my hair that had fallen over my forehead, he held the sign up and smiled. Did he really think I would like this? I mean, yeah, a few months ago I probably would’ve thought it was the cutest thing ever. But a lot had happened in the past few months. And now I found it sickening.
Ava shook her head. “What an idiot.”
“Tot
es,” I joked back. Then I shoved open the door almost causing Ian to spill the coffee. But thankfully he didn’t, because I needed it. Snatching it out of his hand, I smiled and said, “Thanks so much.” After sidestepping him, I stopped and peered over my shoulder. “Oh, and the answer’s no.”
“You better mean that.” Ian’s face dropped, a scowl forming. “This is your last chance. I’m not asking again.”
“Fine.” I shrugged.
“I mean it. I’m done, Rem.”
“Thank god.” I blew out a breath.
Shaking his head, he muttered a curse word under his breath and turned away. I felt nothing but relief when he walked off. Let’s hope he really meant it this time.
When I caught up to Ava, she laughed. “Savage, Rem.”
I was about to answer when we were stopped by a second homecoming proposal. But this time it wasn’t for me.
It was for Ava.
Sam stood on the school steps holding a sign that said:
With you and a song, I can’t go wrong.
Say yes to homecoming with me!
On his phone he played the song that Ava and I wrote with his help.
It was the sweetest proposal ever, and this time I didn’t feel any jealousy. Well, not a lot anyway.
Wearing a smile, Ava walked up to meet Sam at the top of the steps. Then she flung her arms around his neck and planted a kiss right on his mouth.
So, I guess that was a yes.
We all screamed and cheered, until the kiss went a little long and also the bell rang. Then I tugged on Ava’s arm and pried her off of Sam’s lips.
“Did you see that?” She gushed as we hurried toward the choir room.
“Yep. We all saw.”
“It was epic, right?”
“The proposal or the kiss?” I teased.
“The kiss, obvs.” She winked.
Laughing, I put my arm around her. “You really like him, huh?” She nodded. “I’m happy for you, Aves.” And I truly was.
At least I was in that moment.
It got harder to be happy as the day progressed. I seriously could not go anywhere without hearing about or seeing homecoming proposals. It was getting old fast.
When I came up on one before lunch, I spun around to walk the other direction and walked straight into Nick’s chest.
“Whoa.” He threw his hands up instinctually. A few of his buddies laughed.
Embarrassment burned through me. Whenever I forgot my place, this group had a way of reminding me. “Sorry,” I muttered, brushing hair out of my face.
Nick’s brows furrowed, his eyes doing that crinkly thing that always made me melt. “Hey? You okay?”
“Yeah. Fine.” My gaze flickered to his friends who were watching the exchange with their faces screwed up in confusion.
“Hey, guys, you go ahead. I’ll catch up.” Nick waved his friends on.
They nodded and walked off.
“You sure? You don’t look fine.”
“Wow. Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
He smiled. “You look upset. That’s what I meant.”
God, why was his smile so sexy? Why was he so sexy? And why was it so hot in this hallway?
Blowing out a breath, I ran a hand through my hair. “It’s been a really long day.” I glanced around. “I guess I’m not a fan of homecoming season.”
His lips twitched at the corners. “Dances aren’t your jam, either?”
I laughed lightly. “No, dances are all right.”
“What then?” He put his bent arm up against the wall and leaned toward me.
My breath caught in my throat. “Um…” I couldn’t think with him staring at me like that. “It’s not the dance. It’s the proposals.”
“Oh.” He frowned. “You haven’t been asked?”
It might have been offensive coming from someone else, but his tone was so concerned, so caring. Instead of making me mad, it broke me a little. I bit my lip. “No. I mean, unless you count Ian’s proposal, which I don’t.”
His eyebrows leapt up. “Ian asked you?”
“Yeah. And he gave me a latte, which was actually pretty good.”
“You turned down his proposal, but took the latte?” He shook his head. “Brutal.”
“Whatever. He deserved it.” I sighed. “But I guess the day wasn’t all bad. Sam asked Ava to homecoming, and it was really sweet. He used one of the songs we wrote with him.”
“You write songs?”
“Yeah. Usually with Ava. Sometimes Sam.”
“Nice.” He nodded with appreciation. “Maybe one day I could hear one?”
I blushed. “Maybe.”
The bell rang. Crap. I could not be late for class again. That would be twice today. “I gotta go,” I mumbled, and stepped forward, almost bumping into Nick again. But this time he didn’t throw his arms up like a shield. Instead, they came up around me, his fingers grazing my arms. I shivered.
“Yeah, me too,” he said, stepping backward to let me pass.
I hurried around him, my heart racing and my skin on fire.
“You know he feels sorry for you, right?” Brooke stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Nick,” she added, as if I didn’t know who she was talking about.
“I’m late for class,” I said, refusing to take the bait. I knew her better than she thought I did.
“He knows you’re going through a tough time, and he knows you have a crush on him.” My cheeks burned. She laughed. “I mean, everyone does.”
Did they really? Was I that obvious?
No, I wouldn’t let her get to me.
“I really have to go.” I sidestepped around her. The hallway was empty. My stomach knotted. I was super late.
“He’s sweet. And he does this, you know? Reaches out to girls he feels sorry for. Why do you think he asked Lacy Thomas to homecoming last year? It wasn’t because he was into her. Trust me.”
That’s right. He had gone to homecoming with Lacy last year. I’d forgotten that. And I’d never even seen them talk afterward. I’m pretty sure he started dating Tawny right after that. She was a senior. They went out for most of last year.
My insides twisted. Was it a pity invite?
Was he being nice to me for the same reason? Did he feel sorry for me?
I shook my head, moving away from her.
She was messing with me. It was what she did.
Right?
I remembered the night he took me to his old house and told me the story of how he used to be bullied.
Could it be…?
No, I wasn’t getting sucked into this.
Blowing out a breath, I walked faster, wishing that I could somehow outrun Brooke’s words.
***
Ava had been acting super weird for the past two days. Totally un-Ava-like. Everything was all about Sam and homecoming. I’d never seen her like this. All giddy and lovesick.
That’s why I wasn’t super suspicious when she popped up a few minutes into our lunch period announcing that she and Sam wanted to sing me a song. I thought it was all part of their new love-connection.
Sam reached for his guitar, his ear length hair falling into his face. When he stood up, he nodded toward Ava, offering her a shy smile.
“Ready?” he asked in his low voice.
Her head bobbed up and down in response.
I shifted on the ground until I found a comfortable position, and then listened intently.
The sound of Sam’s guitar filled the quad. No one at our school played like him. It was like he’d been playing his entire life. And I guess he kind of had. Ava said his dad first started teaching him when he was a toddler. I wish my parents had done that for me, but neither of them are musically inclined. Apparently, I’d gotten my musical gene from a great-grandma I’d never met.
A crowd began to gather by the time Ava joined him.
“We live yard-by-yard, side-by-side, and yet it’s been so easy to hide. We’ve gone our separate ways for all our days, but la
tely we’ve been talkin’, talkin’.”
Ava and Sam separated, and that’s when I saw him.
Nick.
He walked between them, a smile on his face, his eyes twinkling. He wore tight jeans and a grey t-shirt that melded to his muscles in a way that made my knees quiver.
Ava continued to sing, “And now I want to start dancin’, dancin’.”
Nick knelt in front of me, holding a sign that read.
We can dance to all the girlie-pop you want,
If you say yes to homecoming with me.
A buzz like an electrical current ran through my body. Every limb hummed like it was part of the song. My head spun. I was glad I was sitting, I was pretty sure I’d faint. This was the single most romantic thing that had ever happened to me.
It was like all of my fantasies wrapped into one.
Was I dreaming?
I blinked a few times.
Nope.
He was still there.
This was real. Very real. And not nineties real. No, we were in 2018, and Nick Sinclair had asked me to homecoming. And not in some super cheesy “I like you a latte” kind of way.
This was the best, most perfect way.
I looked into Nick’s eyes, my insides going all gooey like melted chocolate chip cookies. The quad was quiet as everyone waited for my response.
I still couldn’t believe this was happening to me. It seemed too good to be true.
If anyone had told me a few months ago that Nick would ask me to homecoming, I wouldn’t have believed them. Then again, it’s not like we ever talked a few months ago. We’d barely said two words to each other in all the years he’d lived next door.
Not until a few weeks ago…
Huh.
Why was that?
Why had Nick suddenly started being nice to me a few weeks ago?
He feels sorry for you.
I froze, icy cold snaking up my spine.
After my conversation with Brooke the other day, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lacey. I even looked her up on Instagram. I scrolled her feed searching for pictures of she and Nick. But there weren’t any. Not even from last homecoming. It’s like she’d erased the entire night.
What had happened that night that was so horrible she didn’t want to remember?