CHAPTER 16
Jacob
The following morning, I woke with Ellie beside me. Last night had taken us to the same edge as before, rough and wild, leaving us spent in the aftermath of a storm of sensation.
This morning was no different. Her sweet bottom was pressed against my already aching arousal. I found one of her lush breasts with my hand and dropped kisses along the downy skin of her neck.
Once again, I sank into her channel and thought maybe, just maybe, I was the luckiest fucking man in the world.
A few hours later, I had work to do. I was deep into an online chat with Darren as we sorted out a separate tech issue at two of his hotel systems. We were running a few beta projects—small ones, so we could target them to sort out the bugs.
Ellie had gone out to do some shopping. She kissed me goodbye this morning, and I had sensed the reserve in her. I hoped whatever shadow Wanda’s brief appearance had cast had already dissipated.
Later that afternoon, when she didn’t reply to my texts, I returned to the hotel suite to find she hadn’t returned. My gut pinged. Something felt off. A quick look around, and I found no sign of her clothes. My eyes snagged on a single sheet of paper on the dresser. She was gone. She left me a fucking note.
I was conflicted inside, anger tangling with a sense of feeling bereft. I was used to being in control of myself and of situations. This felt entirely out of my control.
On a single sheet of white paper, she wrote,
Jacob, the last few days have been incredible and unexpected. I was going to tell you what time my flight left today, but then I thought it best that I didn’t. I know neither one of us planned on this, so perhaps it’s best to leave it just as it is. It’s perfect, and I don’t want to sully it with expectations.
I don’t know if you picked up on this, but I’m a bit of a wishful thinker. I’m not nearly as clearheaded and logical as my brother, who you’ve known longer than me.
I might not have known you that long, but I sense you’re more like him. In reality, I think we both know you’re a little bit out of my league, so to speak. I’d like to remember this for what it was.
Incredible.
xoxo
Ellie
PS: I’ve arranged for Chocolate to be flown up to Seattle. For me, he’ll always remind me of you a little bit because without meeting you, I wouldn’t have met him.
I kept rereading her note as if somehow the words would change, and I would realize I misunderstood what she was saying.
After about the fourth time, my hand fell as I clenched the piece of paper.
“No,” I said to the room.
Only once before had I felt this helpless. When my sister died. That kind of pain was more terrifying and brutal. But it had the same undertone to it, a sense of something I needed to fix and didn’t know how.
I strolled across the suite, snatching my phone off the bar where I set it when I paused to pour myself a whiskey. Swiping the screen with my thumb, I tapped Darren’s number.
“What’s up?” he asked by way of greeting.
“Put Sarah on.”
Darren laughed. “Dude, of course you can talk to Sarah, but what’s up? You sound a little off.”
“Is Ellie there?” I asked, distantly noticing my tone sounded panicked.
“Uh, no. She’s not. I know she stopped by earlier to take care of some paperwork since she’s adopting Chocolate. Sarah is ecstatic about that, by the way. Sarah took her to the airport. I thought you knew she was leaving.”
“Fuck.”
“So, let me get this straight. While you were busy working today, she left and you didn’t know that was happening. Am I right?” he asked, the understanding evident in his tone annoying me.
“Yes,” I muttered. “Can you find out what time her flight left?”
His voice was muffled when he moved the phone away from his mouth. “Sarah! What time did you drop Ellie off today?” There was a moment of silence, and then, “Okay, thanks.”
His voice returned to the phone. “Sarah said her flight left hours ago. She should be landing in Seattle anytime now because Sarah said it was a direct flight.”
“All right. I’m gonna have to cancel our plans to do a little more work tomorrow.”
Darren chuckled. “Fine with me. I take it you’re going after Ellie.”
“Damn straight.”
“Have you told her how you feel?” he asked, his tone sobering.
I bit back my anger. Because I wanted to tell him to fuck off. “No,” I finally said.
“Well then, you might want to do something about that.”
***
With Darren’s words echoing in my mind, I rushed to get back to Seattle. Unfortunately, nothing happened as fast as I wanted. I found myself in the unenviable position of making vague excuses to a number of business contacts as I canceled meetings in my rush to return to Seattle.
Maybe I hadn’t planned on Ellie, maybe I hadn’t planned on ever letting anyone into my heart again, yet the idea of letting our weekend be nothing more than that wasn’t something I was willing to live with. I wanted Ellie every day.
My pride wanted to chalk it up to incredible sex. And it was absolutely incredible. Yet, that wasn’t what had me tied up in knots inside, with cold fear sliding through my veins and settling like an icy knot around my heart.
I was missing Ellie’s pure heart, the light and air she injected into my life like a warm summer breeze after months of cold, dark winter. In the midst of all my calls as I scrambled to arrange my abrupt departure, I reflexively answered the phone, not checking to see who was calling.
“Jacob!” my father’s voice boomed through the line.
“Oh, hey, Dad. I wasn’t expecting a call from you.”
“Of course you weren’t,” he replied with a chuckle. “It’s all business for you, son. I’m just calling to let you know your mother is going in tomorrow for an unexpected procedure.” His tone shifted from jovial to somber in a flash. “She’ll be fine.”
That fear around my heart squeezed, an icy fist of dread.
“What do you mean, Dad? A procedure?”
“Don’t you panic. It’s all I can do to keep my shit together,” he said bluntly. “She went in for a regular appointment earlier this week, and they found a shadow in one of her breast scans.”
I leaned against the wall beside the bed in my hotel suite, which felt cavernous and echoing without Ellie’s presence. Resting my head against the wall, I took a breath. “How do you know she’s going to be okay?” I asked.
“Because she says so,” he said, and I could hear the emotion in his voice.
My parents were one of the lucky couples, or that’s what I told myself. They were still quite happily married, and my father adored my mother.
“I’m coming home early, so I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“You are?” my dad asked, his tone genuinely surprised.
“I am. Before you ask, I’m chasing after a girl,” I said, my own laugh disbelieving.
My father was dead silent before he let out a sharp bark of a laugh. “I’ll be damned. A girl got to you. I can’t wait to meet her.”
My heart was thudding against my ribs, too hard to consider what was on the line. “I’m glad I’m already on the way, so I can be there for you and Mom. I’ll call tomorrow?”
“I’ll call you as soon as we know something. Your mother would love to see you. She won’t want you to come to the appointment though.”
Minutes later, I hung up the phone, frozen in place for a few beats. The combination of this abrupt concern for my mother, who had already survived breast cancer once, tangling up with the situation with Ellie left me feeling off-balance.
There was a reason why I preferred not to get emotionally involved. I knew the feeling of loss—brutal loss—too well. Yet, something about Ellie had broken down all the walls around my heart and overrode all of my common sense.
With a muttered curse, I pushed
away from the wall and swiftly finished packing, practically running out of the hotel.
CHAPTER 17
Ellie
I idly stirred my mug of hot chocolate. My flight had landed yesterday evening. As planned, Chocolate had arrived this morning. He was presently curled up in a corner of the couch, after sniffing my entire apartment quite thoroughly. Between the rescues I fostered on occasion and Sally’s presence here before she passed away, I was certain his nose had been working overtime. After Chocolate had his fill of smelling everything, he’d happily chowed down on a bowl of food, lapped at his water, and then curled up to fall into a deep sleep.
Last night, I had plenty to do to keep my mind somewhat occupied. I had rushed out to get new supplies just for him, including a brand-new dog bed, a bowl, and a bright purple collar and leash. I was that kind of dog person. I got them everything. If they let me, I put sweaters on them when it was cold. I had no shame.
I had taken Chocolate out this morning in the cool, misty rain. Now, we were back at my apartment, and I was bored and lonely and missing Jacob.
I usually liked the flexibility of working for myself. I didn’t answer to anyone other than my customers, and I did that on my schedule. Because I had known this trip was coming, way back when Wayne and I first planned it, I had everything lined out. I didn’t need to rush and start working on any projects. It wasn’t until next week that I had a few shows to prep for. In my normal world, I liked having a few days when I came back from being out of town to settle into my routine and regain my bearings.
After the glitter and glamour of Las Vegas, the unexpected blackout, and then those incredibly hot days and nights with Jacob, I was restless and doing my damnedest to ignore the lingering ache in my heart.
Chocolate was the only bright spot, and he was a sweetie—all soft, warm, snuggly, and friendly. I was ready for my own dog again. I could start fostering again now. It seemed a little insane, but I couldn’t foster when I didn’t have my own dog. I wanted to keep them all, so it was best I wasn’t tempted to do that.
After Sally passed away, I checked the local shelter occasionally, but I hadn’t felt quite ready. Chocolate let me know I was ready.
During our walk, I had taken him to the dog park for him to play with other dogs, and tossed a ball for him to fetch for a bit. We both got drenched because it was Seattle in January, and it rained here a lot.
I looked around my small apartment and sighed. I lived in an upstairs apartment in a neighborhood close to downtown Seattle. My apartment wasn’t big or fancy, but it was comfortable. It was nothing to compare to where I imagined Jacob lived. I kept mentally ordering myself not to be curious, but my mind was steadfastly ignoring me. It was like a little puppy scampering about, sniffing at every possible train of thought that involved Jacob. I couldn’t help it. Dog metaphors came easily to me.
My apartment should have been a firm reminder of why Jacob and I were not meant to be. It was the upstairs of one of those cute little bungalow-style houses. In the spring and summer, I had flower boxes in the windows, little splashes of color to cheer me up.
The front windows looked out over the street. A wash of raindrops rolling down over the windowpanes blurred the view. Hardwood floors stretched across the main room where you entered from the side door to the stairs outside. It had an angled roof, creating the sense of a larger space when it really was tiny. The kitchen and living room were one open room. The only thing demarcating the kitchen from the living room was the shift from hardwood floors to tile. I had put a table in between the spaces, which kind of behaved like an island, but not really. The kitchen was tucked into the corner with two counters along the walls. It was perfect for one person.
To the back, there was just one bedroom and a bathroom. The entire space was cozy, decorated with my usual haphazard, quirky flair. My latest focus with my art was fabric wall hangings and quilts. I had two hanging on the walls to brighten the space, along with a deep purple woven rug in the center of the living room. A sectional sofa and a coffee table, along with two end tables, were the extent of the furnishings.
It was entirely unglamorous and nothing like what I imagined Jacob was accustomed to. I wasn’t one to hold myself up to others like a yardstick, not usually. I preferred to just be who I was. Because anything else was too disheartening.
Yet, I couldn’t help but think of how easily Jacob had intervened in my potentially disastrous hotel room situation in Las Vegas. It wasn’t as if he needed to spend money to solve the problem. He could have, and it wouldn’t have been any trouble for him. Whereas, if I had been in the position where I had to use one of my credit cards to cover an unexpected room cost, it probably would’ve taken me months and months and months to pay it off, if I was lucky.
I usually thought things through. It wasn’t that it never crossed my mind that Wayne might try to use that room, but I was stubborn about it. I told myself it would all work out for the best, and he didn’t deserve it.
Fucking Wayne and Cheryl. I’d learned a bruising lesson about where to place my trust.
With a sigh, I sipped my hot chocolate and added a dash of cream liqueur from the cabinet. Stepping away from the counter, I padded into the living room to sink onto the couch beside Chocolate. I rubbed his fur lightly. It was still slightly damp, but it was drying and willy-nilly curls were forming all over his back. I smiled, dipping my head to press a kiss to his forehead. He let out a soft sigh as he sank more deeply into the couch.
When I left that note for Jacob, I thought it made perfect sense. Oh, I hadn’t wanted to write it. But I could be foolish. I had gotten jealous when that woman approached him the night before. My reaction had been a timely reminder of what I needed to remember.
Namely, that Jacob’s world was different from mine. Glamorous, confident women who could do the whole acquaintances-with-benefits thing with style fit into his world better than I did. My stupid heart, my oh-so-foolish heart, had started to spin fantasies around us.
That was dangerous.
Staring out into the rainy view, I curled my feet under my knees. I had dressed in my absolute most comfortable clothes—my favorite pair of fleece sweatpants and a loose fleece top. With no bra, of course, because I was home alone, and it didn’t matter. To finish it off, I was wearing a pair of fuzzy pink socks.
I was warm, dry, and comfortable. The cold winter rain falling outside was held at bay. I might be a little lonely, and I might be longing for Jacob, but I was fine. Totally fine.
I took a sip of my now spiked hot chocolate and leaned back into the cushions, reaching for the remote just as there was a sharp knock at my door.
Chocolate lifted his head and let out a soft bark, his eyes looking to me. Having had rescues and fosters many times, I sensed he was trying to assess what I wanted him to do. I definitely wanted him to let me know when anybody came to the door, so I reached over and stroked across the top of his head, scratching gently as I praised him.
Who would be showing up at my place now?
I set my mug on the coffee table and stood to walk to the door. I hesitated for a moment. I didn’t look bad, but I also didn’t usually invite company over when I was in my most comfortable clothes. With a shrug, I kept walking. Probably a delivery, or something.
CHAPTER 18
Ellie
Chocolate followed me over to the door, a low rumble coming from his throat.
Leaning forward to look through the peephole in the door, I was stunned to see Jacob on the other side. His eyes were cast down and the lines of tension evident on his face.
My breath caught in my throat, and my heart started pounding, echoing through my body as blood rushed in my ears. I opened the door slowly.
I stood there silently, frozen, although the inside of my body was going wild. Chocolate instantly recognized Jacob and started wagging madly, circling Jacob’s legs and dashing in and out of the door.
Jacob and I simply stared at each other. He looked weary, his eyes contai
ning a slightly wild look. He was a far cry from the polished man I was accustomed to seeing. He leaned his hands on either side of the doorframe, almost as if he needed something to hold onto.
“Ellie,” he finally said, his voice raspy.
“Jacob, I…”
Just as I managed to actually speak, a squirrel leapt from a nearby tree onto the deck railing. Chocolate let out a quick bark and dashed through the door and down the steps.
Jacob moved, reflexively looking toward Chocolate. I started to race after him, and Jacob was right ahead of me. Blessedly, the yard was fenced, but I couldn’t even remember if I had thought to close the gate behind me when we came in earlier.
With a quick call from Jacob, and the squirrel wisely finding another tree to hide in, Chocolate lost interest and trotted to Jacob’s side at the bottom of the stairs. I waited by the door as they returned.
Perhaps, to some people, Jacob’s instinct to instantly go after Chocolate would seem like a small thing. To me, it meant everything. He didn’t think it was silly that I would worry about Chocolate racing off, he didn’t care about the rain. He knew it would matter to me that Chocolate was safe and sound, so he got him right away.
With my heart still thudding wildly, I paused to check on Chocolate, the distraction a bit of a relief. “I see you chase squirrels,” I said, as I leaned over and ran my hand along his damp back. I wasn’t in the mood to tell him he shouldn’t.
Tail wagging, Chocolate trotted back into the warm, dry apartment. Jacob and I stood there, staring at each other in the rain.
“Thanks for getting him,” I said, swiping a raindrop out of my eye.
That electricity that seemed to hover around us whenever we were near each other started humming. Jacob stepped closer to me.
“We can talk in a minute,” he murmured, right before he pulled me close and brushed his lips across mine.
Blackout: A Romance Anthology Page 56