She swallowed. Yes, she’d often imagined Brent doing those very things to her body and she didn’t doubt that he knew many ways to make sex exciting and unforgettable, but there was no point imagining herself with Brent when she knew how studiously he avoided contact with women these days. Well, except for her and his cook.
‘Not all men are cruel,’ he was saying when she paid attention to his words rather than the way his trousers stretched across his groin when he had his hands on his hips and his coat tails pulled aside. ‘Some husbands value their wives and treat them like queens.’
She sighed. ‘A nice thought, Brent, but unless you can introduce me to one of those paragons of husbands, I’m reduced to finding my excitement with one of the gentlemen here tonight.’
‘Lillian,’ he hissed through gritted teeth. ‘Have you been paying attention to me? I know most of the gentlemen attending this ball and there isn’t one of them that’s good enough for you.’
‘Not even you?’ At his shocked look, she waved her hand between them. ‘Sorry. I know you’re not interested in me. Not in that way, anyway.’
She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, hard. Was she mistaken? Did he find her attractive, after all? Because, Lord knew, she found him, and his muscled body, very enticing. Many a time she’d ridden behind him purposely so she could watch his taut behind rise and fall in the saddle, his thighs stretched tight as he rose slightly in the stirrups and his coat pulling across wide shoulders. She’d secretly been pleased that he wouldn’t allow visitors to his house, declaring that he and his daughter were still grieving. Though she knew that was a fabrication to prevent his mother from bringing a constant stream of eligible ladies to visit, she enjoyed being the only woman who saw him dressed down and carefree as they rode together. Which they did often.
With her head tilted to one side so she could peer up at him, she said, ‘Are you? Interested in me that way? As a woman.’
She heard the hiss of his indrawn breath and sensed she was about to be rejected. Being rejected by her husband had wounded her feminine pride, though even that pain hadn’t destroyed her. By contrast, if her best friend, the man that knew her better than her mother, turned away from her, the pain would kill her. She spun towards the door, desperate to escape.
‘Ah, there you are.’ Her companion, Maggie, stepped through the balcony doorway and strode towards her. She eyed Brenton, slowly appraising him from top to toe, before turning her back to him. ‘I was worried when I couldn’t find you. Are you all right?’
Brenton stepped around Maggie and gave her the same disdainful look as she’d given him. He gave a small bow and said, ‘I’m Brenton. And your name is…?’
Maggie rolled her eyes. ‘I know better than to reveal myself here. And I already know who you are, my lord.’
Lillian squirmed when Brent’s gaze flicked towards her and back to Maggie. ‘I’ve told my friend about you, Brent.’
‘I see.’ He turned to Maggie and leaned in close. ‘And what sort of friend are you that you brought a young woman to an event that caters to less than respectable ladies?’
‘The best sort, my lord.’ Maggie didn’t flinch form Brent’s blunt question. ‘The sort of friend who recognizes that a woman has been scarred by men and life and needs a chance to enjoy herself without censure. Needs a night of fun and frolic, rather than one of fear and loneliness.’
‘Loneliness?’ Brent repeated the word in surprise and looked at Lillian. ‘Is she correct? You’ve been lonely.’
‘In my marriage, yes, I was lonely. Geoffrey didn’t like me to see my own friends or family too much. He wanted me at home, where he could keep me under control, or attending events on his arm. A decorative addition to enhance his reputation as a man who purchased only the best quality goods. Immaculate clothing, flashy carriage, well-bred horses, and a household where he ruled supreme. There was little room for me to breathe.’
He touched her arm. ‘I’m sorry to have failed you so badly. I was so swept up in my own misery and battling to keep my wife’s affairs under wraps that I gave no thought to how your life was when in London. I picture you as that free spirit riding across the fields at full pelt and not giving a damn who sees you in your breeches and shirt.’
‘Come inside,’ Maggie urged. ‘We shall investigate the secrets of the upper floors.’
‘No, you won’t,’ Brent said sharply. ‘Perhaps you are accustomed to this level of debauchery, madam, but Lillian will not witness what goes on up there. The punch is heavily laced and everyone will be tossing off their inhibitions, if they had any to start with.
‘You didn’t tell me his lordship was a prude, Lillian,’ Maggie said, making Lillian groan aloud. Her friend was taunting Brent, though she had no idea why, nor what she should do to intervene.
Brent stiffened. ‘I am far from a prude. I simply don’t think any of these men, or the sights, are worthy of Lillian. She deserves a gentleman, not a lout. A man who will introduce her to pleasure and block out her memories of pain.’
‘Then perhaps, your lordship, you should volunteer to broaden her knowledge of bedroom antics.’
Brent’s eyes widened and Lillian held her breath waiting for him to laugh at her companion’s suggestion, or perhaps berate her. He met her gaze and the heat in his sent blood rushing through her entire body and a flush rush to her cheeks.
‘Perhaps I should. At least Lillian would be safe with me.’
Lillian gasped. ‘Would you two mind not discussing me when I’m standing beside you.’
To her shock, they continued their conversation as if she was invisible.
‘That’s true, your lordship, but you’re her best friend. You risk her falling in love with you.’
Brent shrugged. ‘It’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means smuggling her out of here before anyone recognizes her.’ He stared at Maggie. ‘Will you leave with us?’
Lillian had heard enough. She walked away and left them discussing her. Once back inside the ballroom, she pasted on her most flirtatious smile and eased her way into the closest circle of masked revelers. The gentlemen automatically shifted to widen the circle and allow her into their conversational ring, eager to speak with an unknown woman.
‘Would one of you lovely gentlemen mind escorting me to the upper levels. I’d go alone but I’d rather an escort who understands these things.’ She fluttered her eyelashes and tiptoed her fingers up the sleeve of the blonde man on her right. ‘Which of you will introduce me to the games I’ve been told take place in the upper chambers.’ She turned to the dark haired man on her left and ran her hand along his sleeves, trying to flutter her eyelashes again in what she hoped was a seductive manner. Though by the alarmed looks on the men’s faces, she feared she was a failure as a temptress. Time for more explicit advances, and damn the consequences. Time to toss off her conventional persona and welcome some excitement into her life.
Her hand eased further up the dark man’s sleeve and curled it around his neck, tugging his face down to hers. She kissed his freshly-shaved cheek and was gratified to hear his breath catch and feel his hands slide around her waist to draw her close to his body.
‘Stop.’ When someone yelled near her ear, the delicious dark-haired man abruptly dropped his hands from her body. He looked over his shoulder and Lillian followed his gaze. Brent gripped his elbow from behind, tight enough to cause the poor young man to pale and tremble.
She whacked at Brent’s hand where he gripped the man’s sleeve. ‘Let go of him,’ she hissed. ‘This instant.’
Brent released the young man and he and his group of friends backed away and then moved along to the next empty area and continued their conversation, glancing at Brent and obviously talking about their connection, and most worrying, their identities. Gentleman were much easy to distinguish here because their own concession to anonymity was a short black mask, whereas the women could dress in a completely style than their usual and thus radically change their appearance. Her l
ow-cut red gown was something a bird of paradise looking for her next prey would wear, and not the style of gown Lillian wore to tonnish events.
‘How dare you.’ She spat the words at Brent and gave him her fiercest glare. ‘You shouldn’t have interfered like that. If those gentlemen recognize you, they might work out who I am, which is exactly what you wanted to avoid.’ She huffed. ‘Besides, I instigated that kiss.’
‘Why would you do such a brazen thing? Risk your good name and your life in such an impulsive manner.’
She sighed, all her anger delating. ‘My good name evaporated when Geoffrey’s sexual preferences became known after his death. The men he mixed with kept his secrets when he was alive, and possibly even liked whips and ropes as much as Geoffrey, but dead men can’t reveal their secrets so they felt safe to expose him, while distancing themselves from those activities.’
‘But why would they risk incriminating themselves?’
‘I learned later that two girls had died, a day apart and in different areas of London, but both had been physically tormented and their bodies were left in parks in Mayfair. Government officials were sent to investigate after a minister’s wife and children stumbled upon one of them, and there was a push to find the culprit and to close down any houses of ill repute in respectable neighborhoods.’
‘I read about the murders, but surely they don’t think Geoffrey had anything to do with that. He wasn’t the most respected man and nor was he a decent husband, but I cannot imagine him killing women.’
‘The enquiry cleared Geoffrey, but as those houses were places that Geoffrey and his cohorts visited, his so-called friends decided to toss out Geoffrey’s name and draw the scrutiny away from them.’
Brent took her hands and shook them lightly. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
She shrugged. ‘Geoffrey was dead and I simply wanted to forget all the sordidness and start afresh.’ She waved a hand at the guests, whose conversations had become bawdier and louder the more punch was consumed and, as inhibitions were drowned in liquor, both women and men had stripped away clothing and were well on their way to public sex. ‘Here, I can reclaim myself, because everyone indulges in excesses and they don’t judge each other badly because they’ve let down their guards for an evening. Look around you.’ She pointed to a curtained alcove across for them. ‘Lord Hastings has been in there for twenty minutes with a lady. Actually, a young girl.’
‘Hastings is the son of a duke so he has plenty of blunt to purchase a mistress, or two. And though he’s known to prefer young blondes, he rewards the girls well and he’d never harm them.’ He looked her in the eyes and spoke with sincerity. ‘Every woman, or girl, invited tonight comes willingly, and knows what to expect. News of these balls is kept secret from the sticklers, but many women are off the streets because they’re kept by men.’
She glanced from his polished evening shoes to his perfectly-tied cravat. His vest was shot with gold, his coat of the finest deep blue wool, and his accessories of a stick pin and fob watch looked expensive. ‘You must be in demand. You’re handsome, wealthy, and well-presented.’
He chuckled. ‘My valet took extra care with my accouterments. As to the rest, I’m flattered that you think me handsome.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘You’ve noticed the women looking you over as much as I have.’
‘I’ve no desire for a mistress.’
She frowned. ‘What do you want? You can’t shut yourself away for ever, you know.’
Creases appeared between his brows while he considered his answer, and those lines added to his appearance as a gentleman of distinction and experience. Whenever she was this close, she longed to lay her hands on his chest and feel the vitality that pumped through his strong body. She knew his legs and arms were strong and muscled for riding, but she wanted to feel his heart pumping and to absorb his heat and energy. Would he be shocked if she accepted the invitation he’d blithely tossed out earlier?
She’d ignored it at the time because she’d be mortified if she said yes and discovered that he hadn’t been serious. After two hours in this enervated gathering, watching and learning, her own excitement had risen to such a state that her body clamored for more and her mind whirled with the possibilities of what she might try, and with whom. In reality, the person she’d most like to engage in a bout of earthy sex with stood beside her, unaware that her fantasies always included Brent as her hero, her masterful seducer, and her introduction to the gratification she’d been denied during her marriage.
‘I want,’ he said, breaking her reverie and forcing her attention back to her question. ‘I want what any man wants. A home, a wife, and children. But if I take a second wife, she’ll be sweet and biddable and faithful. The complete opposite of Marion.’ He grinned. ‘Somewhat like you, though you’re never biddable.’
She pretended to be outraged, despite knowing it was the truth. Her parents said she was too stubborn for her own good, her sisters said she argued too much, and Geoffrey… He’d put her to her knees and whipped her bottom to bend her will and force her to submit to him, body and mind. Bowing to a dominant husband had been rather exciting, so if Geoffrey had stopped at light trails of the whip ends across her bare body she’d have been tantalized and aroused, but his tastes had been extreme and their nighttime interludes had ended with tears and pain and the embarrassment of inventing explanations for the blood on her clothes when they stuck to the raw slashes across her back the next day.
Money had sealed the lips of her maid, but she couldn’t bribe all the servants without exposing herself and the truth about her marriage. Servants gossiped, and she feared that her parents would learn how she’d been subdued by her husband, though intervening would have been illegal because the law stated that a husband could beat his wife, within limits. Geoffrey had stretched those limits and investigators had visited her house and asked her questions, but by then it was too late. Her sadistic husband was dead. She only hoped that the murderer of the two prostitutes would be caught before he killed again.
She smiled. ‘No, I’m not normally biddable, but if you take me upstairs I’ll submit to you. Do whatever you like with me while in this house, and tomorrow we’ll pretend it never happened.’
‘Doing whatever I want with you, Lillian, would change our relationship forever. We could never go back to being good neighbors who shared their news. If I have you once, I’ll want more. I know that. Have known it for a long time, which is why I’ve trained myself to keep a respectable distance between us. As it is, I knew you were in attendance this evening because I recognized your perfume. I was aroused before I ever found you, the way I always am when you’re around.’
She gasped. ‘Why have you not said something?’
‘Because being able to discuss things with you, estate matters, politics, our peers, has kept me sane. My family believes that my daughter occupies all my thoughts, and time, but they’re wrong. You’ve occupied my thoughts far more than they know.’
Her chest felt tight and her breathing strained. ‘What sort of thoughts have you had about me?’
‘Sexual ones. Very erotic. Are you shocked?’ She shook her head, unable to reply. ‘I’d like to take you upstairs to a bedchamber and show you how much I need you, and for more than friendship. But…’
‘But what? We both want the same thing, so what’s holding you back?’
‘Being intimate often begets certain expectations for women.’
She frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
He let out a ragged breath. ‘I’m not making my self clear, I know. I’ve vowed to never marry for love again, to never risk the devastation that often comes with that emotion, especially if one partner loves and the other doesn’t.’
‘You’re remembering your wife, but I’m nothing like her. I may be a little strong willed--’
‘A little?’ He laughed.
‘Very well. Somewhat strong willed, but I was never unfaithful to my husband, and I would never shame my marr
iage vows by having an affair.’
He tangled his fingers in her hair and brought her face close to his. ‘I know, and that’s the problem. If we’re intimate, you’ll expect more from me than I might be able to give in return. You’re the warmest and most giving person I know, and you deserve to loved in return. You deserve more than my respect and admiration.’
She shook her head. ‘You already treat me far better than Geoffrey ever did, and that means a lot to me. So we’ll speak no more of poetic love and we’ll give our bodies to each other as freely as the courtesans do with their protectors.’
‘Doing that demeans your life, your station as a lady.’
She smiled. ‘Not if it’s what I want, what I need.’ She ran her hands up and down his arms, squeezing his muscled forearms and making him groan. ‘I’m desperate to see you unclothed. To touch and explore you.’
Brent groaned again. Lillian and the warmth she radiated always charmed him, but in this setting where they were free to explore their desires, his resistance crumbled. Despite knowing that keeping Lillian at arm’s length would be impossible if they shared this one fantasy-fulfilling night, he’d used up all his half-hearted arguments regarding them walking up that staircase together. If her family discovered that he’d taken her to bed instead of tossing her over his shoulder and taking her home, they’d shoot him anyway. Yet, he found her impossible to resist.
She took his hand and started towards the steps and he followed like an obedient dog. Two hours ago he’d been protesting about attending this ball, yet now he wanted to scoop Lillian into his arms and run up the stairs so she couldn’t change her mind. For the next few hours, she was his and he intended enjoying every moment she was in his arms.
Seven Nights of Sin: Seven Sensuous Stories by Bestselling Historical Romance Authors Page 38