Lone Star Holiday Proposal

by Yvonne Lindsay

  Raina opened one bleary eye then the other as JJ’s joyful cries dragged her from sleep. She reached for Nolan, wondering how on earth they were going to explain his being there in bed with her, but her hand came up empty, the sheets cold beneath her touch. Raina quickly dragged on her nightgown and a robe and went to the living room where JJ was excitedly hopping from one foot to the other and staring at the bounty under the Christmas tree.

  “Merry Christmas, JJ,” she said, scooping her son up for a cuddle and a kiss. As she expected, he squirmed in her arms wanting to be put down to get to the serious business of opening gifts. “Remember the rules, JJ. Only one gift now. Granddad will be here to have breakfast with us and you can open all the rest then.”

  “Just one, Mommy?” JJ asked plaintively.

  Raina held firm. She’d explained this all to JJ more than once in the days leading up to Christmas.

  “How about you phone Granddad and let him know you’re awake? He can let you know what time he’ll be here.”

  JJ raced to do as she’d suggested, pressing the speed dial button on the phone Raina had taught him to use. After a brief conversation, he ran back to the Christmas tree. “Ten minnit!” he announced, hopping from one foot to the other.

  “Great, now which gift are you going to open first?”

  JJ zeroed in on the massive present Nolan had left under the tree for him. “This one,” he said, and began tearing the paper off it immediately.

  His squeal of delight was ear piercing when he saw the picture on the box. Raina hastened to help him open it and lift the bike out. There was a little assembly required but thankfully it only took a few minutes. Even better, Raina’s dad arrived to do it all for her. He raised an eyebrow in her direction when he saw the bike, knowing it wasn’t something she’d been able to afford for her son.

  “It’s from a friend, Dad,” Raina said in explanation.

  “Fancy wheels from a fancy man,” he commented with a brusque nod, his eyes not budging from her face.

  Raina felt the heat of a blush rise in her cheeks and she turned away from her father’s piercing gaze.

  “Now that you’re here, I’ll go and grab my shower and get dressed. Then I’ll make us all breakfast, okay?”

  Without waiting for a response, Raina flew down the hall toward the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it for a few seconds, willing her blush to subside. Her father knew her too well. She’d seen that look on his face when she’d believed herself in love before. But this time it was different, she told herself. This time it was real.

  Thankfully, her father didn’t seem inclined to say any more on the subject, and after they’d had breakfast and opened all the presents under the tree, he went back to his place. Raina started to clean up the mess of wrapping paper and boxes that JJ had strewn all over the room in his exuberance. She’d hoped that he’d have happy memories of this day. Goodness knew she’d tried really hard to make it so. Right now, he was in his room, playing with some of his new toys until Raina could take him outside on the sidewalk with the new bike.

  Raina almost missed the small parcel and envelope that had been placed at the tree’s base. In fact it was already in her hand with the fistful of discarded paper when she felt it. After sorting through the paper and putting it in the trash bag, she sat down and looked at the items in her hand. Her pulse raced as she examined the small wrapped cube and the simple white envelope that accompanied it. Her name was written in bold black script across the front of the envelope and she traced the letters with a fingertip.

  It wasn’t her father’s handwriting, which left only one other person who could have left it there—Nolan. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach, their tiny wings brushing against her nerves and making her hands tremble. What was this? Despite his words last night, could it be a farewell perhaps, or something else? There was only one way to find out but suddenly Raina found the prospect of reading whatever he had written more daunting than anything she’d ever done before.

  Eventually she dragged in a deep breath and slid her finger under the flap of the envelope, tearing it open with a jagged edge. There was a single slip of paper inside, which she took out and unfolded.

  Dear Raina,

  I know we’ve only known one another a very short time, but believe me when I say that I’m very serious about wanting you in my life. I guess by now you’ve realized that I have something very special to ask you. I wanted to ask you last night, but I know you probably need more time to think about this and to be sure, so I’m giving you this next week—unencumbered by my presence—to consider what we mean to one another and particularly what I mean to you.

  For my part, I know I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you by my side. I’ve learned, the hard way, that the special things in life can be torn from you at a moment’s notice and that we need to reach out and grasp those gifts when we can—to cherish them and hold them dear to us, the way I want to cherish and hold you.

  I only hope that you want the same as I do and that you’ll let me be there with you and JJ, loving and supporting you both for as long as you’ll let me. Nothing would give me greater pride or pleasure.

  I’ll be home on New Year’s Eve and I’d be honored if you’d accompany me to the Texas Cattleman’s Club function that night. You can give me your answer then. In the meantime, I would like you to open my Christmas gift to you and know that it comes from my heart and with my very best intentions.

  All my love,

  Nolan

  Raina’s fingers were wrapped tight around the small box in her hand, so tight that her knuckles whitened and her palms began to ache from the imprint of the edges of the box. Did he mean to ask her to marry him? Black spots began to swim in front of Raina’s eyes and she realized she was holding her breath. She forced herself to breathe in and out, and again, until the spots receded.

  Panic clawed at her throat. She’d thought she was ready for this but she so wasn’t. They’d met less than four weeks ago. How could he be so certain she was what he wanted? How could she when she knew he still hadn’t told her about the sadness of his past? There was still so much unsaid between them. The details of her past, of his. But did any of that matter when they loved each other?

  Droplets of water dripped onto the sheet of paper in her hand and Raina realized she was weeping. The words on the paper blurred and she quickly refolded the sheet and shoved it back in the envelope. All the while, her heart urged her to take a risk on love again and her mind shrieked its horror in the background.

  She’d taken risks on love before and she still bore the emotional scars from that. How on earth could she even contemplate marriage, if that was indeed what Nolan was suggesting, based on her track record with men? Hadn’t it been a crazy, hormone-driven attraction that had seen her hook-up with Jeb in the first place? She’d been twenty-six, going on twenty-seven. Hardly a child by any means. She should have known better then—and she certainly knew better now.

  Sure, deep down, she knew that Nolan was different from Jeb and the others she’d dated before him. But there was still that niggling sense of not knowing exactly where she stood with Nolan.

  JJ would be thrilled at the chance to call Nolan Daddy. She knew that. But she had to be careful. She’d fought Jeb and beaten a tornado to give JJ a stable and secure home, a safe and happy childhood. She couldn’t risk throwing that all away. Not now.

  A voice in the back of her head reminded her that Nolan had acknowledged his initial deceit, that he’d apologized and done his best to make it up to her. That he’d even resigned from his job over it. Surely those were not the actions of a man who would stomp all over her heart and then walk away. He said he was back in Royal for good now. And she knew he meant it.

  A kernel of hope began to bloom inside her until she reminded herself of the money that still sat in th
e safe back at Priceless and of the fact that Jeb probably still wanted it. While her ex certainly appeared to have dropped off the radar for now, who knew when he’d be back next or what his demands would be? How would Nolan react then? Would he be prepared to accept Raina with all her baggage?

  “Mommy? Can we go outside now?”

  JJ interrupted her jangled thoughts and Raina latched on to the chance to distract herself.

  “Sure, honey,” she said, shoving the envelope and the still-wrapped box in a drawer in the sideboard. She’d deal with it later. Maybe. “Let’s get our coats on, okay?”

  “Yippee!”

  * * *

  It was New Year’s Eve and Raina was still in a quandary about Nolan’s letter and the box that sat untouched in the drawer of her sideboard. She’d missed him this week. More because she’d known he was so far away. But he was back today and she’d alternately been filled with excitement and with a major case of the jitters.

  “G’anddad’s here!” JJ announced from where he’d been watching at the front window for his grandfather to pick him up and take him back to the trailer park to see in the New Year.

  “Go and get your bag then, JJ,” Raina suggested with a smile, turning away from the mirror where she’d been fussing with her hair for about the seventh time already that evening.

  She went to the front door and opened it wide.

  “You all right, girlie?” her dad asked, stomping his feet on the step before coming inside.

  Raina welcomed her father with a huge hug and inhaled the special scents of his forbidden cigars and Old Spice.

  “Yeah, Dad, I’m fine. Just glad to see you.”

  Her father gave her a sharp look and a small nod. “I heard some interesting news today. About your young man.”

  “My young...? You mean Nolan?”

  “He’s why I’m sitting for you tonight, isn’t he?”

  Raina felt the heat of a blush warm her cheeks and nodded. “Yes, he’s taking me out tonight. What did you hear?”

  Please don’t let it be something bad, she wished with all her heart.

  “Has to do with that no good piece of sh—”

  “Dad! No swearing,” Raina interrupted, glancing toward JJ.

  “Well, you know who I mean.”

  “Jeb?”

  “Who else?”

  “What has Nolan got to do with Jeb?”

  Her Dad gave her a sly smile. “Seems your young man arranged a meeting with the lowlife. Got him arrested and put away. Turns out he was wanted for third-degree felony over in New Mexico. Killed someone while driving under the influence and fled the scene, then jumped bail after that.”

  “But...how...when?” Raina was at a loss for words. How on earth would Nolan have known who Jeb was, let alone arranged for him to be arrested?

  “Happened the night after the pageant, apparently. According to my poker buddy at the sheriff’s office, Nolan offered him money to stay away from you, permanently. A goodly sum, so I’m told. That scumbag couldn’t resist, of course, but it turns out he was dealing with the wrong person. Nolan apparently used his contacts to find out a bit more about who he was dealing with, and took his information to Sheriff Battle, who was only too pleased to oblige and take that waste of space off the streets. Apparently he put up a bit of a fight.”

  Did that explain the bruise on Nolan’s face? Hard on the heels of that question came the realization that Jeb was in jail. Relief warred with confusion in Raina’s mind.

  “Anyways, doesn’t sound like Jeb’s going to be a problem for you again. You can thank your young man for that. I certainly plan to the next time I see him.” Her dad fixed her with a steely look. “And I will see him a next time, won’t I?”

  “I... I don’t know, Dad. I’m not sure I’m ready.”

  Her father harrumphed and pulled her into his arms for another hug. “You’ll know when you’re ready, my girlie. You’ll know in your heart.”

  “But, Dad, we haven’t known each other long en—”

  “Time isn’t what’s important here. What you gotta ask yourself is what would your life be like without him in it.”

  Raina tipped her head to look up at her father. He’d had plenty of lady friends since her mom had left them, but never anyone who stuck around. “Is that what you asked yourself?”

  He nodded. “I did, and I never got lucky enough to meet the lady I’d miss forever. Well, not yet anyway,” he concluded with a twinkle in his blue eyes. “Now, where’s that grandson of mine?”

  After JJ and her dad had gone, Raina paced the living room floor, weighing her father’s words and the news that Jeb was in jail. The relief she felt was slow to sink in, but bit by bit, the realization that she no longer had to worry about a random knock at her front door or being accosted on the street or receiving yet another late-night phone call or text began to seem real. A feeling of liberation filled her, a sense of freedom she hadn’t known in a very long time—and she owed it all to Nolan.

  What kind of man did what he’d done? A good man. An honest one. A man who was reliable and forthright and who looked after what was his to the very best of his ability and who wasn’t afraid to ask for help when he couldn’t do it alone. He’d protected her from harm, even when she hadn’t asked for it. And she knew, deep in her heart, that Nolan would move mountains for her if she needed him to.

  No matter which way she looked at it, Nolan Dane was a better person than she’d wanted to believe. She’d been so scarred by the actions of her past that she’d let them hold her back when she was being offered a chance to make a new start, a new beginning—filled with the kind of love she’d always dreamed of.

  The sound of a car door slamming announced Nolan’s arrival. Raina quickly grabbed the wrapped box from the drawer and slipped it into her evening purse.

  He’d given her this week and she’d thought long and hard. And she’d reached her decision.

  Seventeen

  Nolan strode confidently up the path to the house and felt his heart lift when he saw the front door open to reveal Raina standing there, waiting for him. He’d missed her both physically and mentally. He’d lost track of the number of times he’d picked up the phone to call her, only to remind himself that he was giving her space to think.

  Now the time had come for what he hoped would be the answer he’d been waiting for. Despite his eagerness, he wouldn’t push. He understood her vulnerability, even though she projected such a staunch and strong face to the world. She needed to come to him on her own terms.

  Framed in the doorway, she smiled nervously down at him. He bounded up the front steps to greet her the way he’d been waiting to do from the moment he’d left her bed, and she slid easily into his arms and lifted her face for his kiss. He kept it short and sweet, denying the nearly overwhelming urge he had to forget the night ahead and to simply sweep her off her feet, take her into her bedroom and pick up where they’d left off a week ago.

  “I’ve missed you,” he said simply, as he forced himself to release her.

  She gave him a shy smile. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  Her cheeks flushed a delicate pink beneath the subtle makeup she wore and Nolan felt his heart squeeze in response. There was nothing he didn’t love about her. He only hoped she’d let him tell her that every day now for the rest of their lives.

  “You left without opening your Christmas gift,” Raina said, reaching behind her to the hall table and passing a long slender parcel to him.

  Nolan looked at it in surprise. This was the secret JJ had whispered to him about. “Can I open it now?”

  “Sure,” she teased, “unless you want to wait until next year.”

  He tore away the wrapping and instantly re
cognized the case he’d coveted a few weeks ago. He opened the lid and revealed the writing set inside. Nolan was staggered. Not just by the beauty of the gift, but by her thoughtfulness in giving it to him.

  “It’s old, of course,” she said, sounding worried, “but in excellent condition. I remembered you looking at it and I thought—”

  “I love it. Thank you, it’s perfect.”

  He leaned forward to kiss her again. She was flushed when he finally let her go.

  “Oh, you like it? Well...that’s good then.”

  He smiled; she still sounded as if he’d knocked her off-kilter. She could barely meet his eyes as she reached into the cupboard behind her for her coat. He helped her into it, taking a moment to inhale the fresh herbal scent of her hair as she lifted it over her collar. He imagined his face buried in that sweet softness again and, as his body throbbed in response, was forced to turn his mind to other things.

  “Shall we go?” Raina asked.

  Surprised, because he’d hoped they’d talk about the gift he’d left for her before they headed out tonight, Nolan inclined his head. “My chariot awaits,” he replied, gesturing for her to take his arm.

  She locked the door behind her and they headed to the car where he stowed the writing set safely in the back. The journey to the Texas Cattleman’s Club was conducted in silence, briefly punctuated by Raina asking how his trip to LA had gone. By the time Nolan handed his car keys to the valet outside the club, his stomach was a ball of nerves. Still not one word about his letter or his gift. He reminded himself that he was the one who’d set the parameters here. It had been his choice to leave her for this week and give her space and time to think about their future, if indeed they had one.

  They circulated among the crowd, stopping and chatting here and there. The club was a large, rambling single-story building made of dark stone and wood that had originally been built in the early 1900s. The interior decor still reflected its Old World men’s club heritage, with hunting trophies and historical artifacts adorning the paneled walls but, Nolan noticed, the ceiling had been lifted during the repairs after the tornado, giving the club an airier feel about it, and the colors were brighter and lighter than before. Overall the renovations better reflected the now mixed gender culture of what had long been solely a male domain.