“I can really do it?” Clara asked, her eyes glistening.
“If it goes wrong—” Virginia started.
“I promise it won’t.” Clara hugged them both, and went to have a bath.
Ella looked at Virginia. “What do you think?” she asked.
“I think it’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard and that this is going to get us into trouble.”
“Me too. But I don’t know how to head her off. What are we going to do about her?” Ella was lost.
“I don’t know. But I’m scared. Christ, we have to stop her.”
“But I’m not sure that’s possible. Every time we question her she just goes mad or bursts into tears.”
“I know.” Suddenly Virginia thought of James. “I need to make a call,” she said.
“Who to?” Ella asked.
“Just someone,” Virginia replied, picked up the telephone and walked out of the room.
Ella shuddered as she realised that everything was totally out of control.
She was shaking as she dialled the number. After the fifth ring, James answered. “Hello.”
“It’s Virginia.”
“God, how are you?”
“I’ve been better. You?” Virginia needed him.
“I’m fine. Are you around?” he asked.
“I’m at Clara’s,” she replied.
“Is she all right?” James asked quickly.
Virginia crossed her fingers. “She’s fine.”
“Can I see you?” James asked.
Virginia thanked God. “I could come round,” Virginia suggested.
‘shall I come and collect you?” James asked.
“No. I’ll get a cab. Give me your address.”
She went back into the living room and put the phone back on the charger. “I have to go out,” she said to Ella.
Ella sat up straight. “Where to?” she asked.
“Just out. Please don’t ask me,” Virginia replied. She couldn’t find words to tell her – and she didn’t want to.
“Fine. So you leave me with little Miss Cokehead, who we also can’t question, and you go free. Fine, Virginia,” Ella said crossly.
“I’m sorry,” Virginia said, although for the first time in her life she wasn’t.
“Oh, what the hell? You go and I’ll try to talk her out of this stupid plan.” Ella’s life was becoming a nightmare.
“I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” she said, as she picked up her coat. Ella watched her and knew instinctively where she was going. The sly cow is seeing Clara’s brother, Ella thought. Then she went to check on Clara.
***
Virginia hailed a taxi easily. After the madness of the past two days James seemed to represent comfort and safety. She tried to feel guilty about leaving Ella to deal with things, but she didn’t. Clara had promised them she would get help to get off cocaine. She’d lied, and she’d come up with this crazy plan. Virginia was angry with her. Clara needed help, and she knew how much trouble they might face if the revenge on Johnny went wrong. She couldn’t tell James about any of this, and she felt trapped. Ella felt the same, she knew. They were trapped by the revenge plans – and by loyalty to each other. They were trapped by loneliness too. As she sat in the cab on the way to see a gorgeous rich man Virginia knew that she was only in this position because of Clara and Ella. The loneliness that bound her to them had also turned her life round. She was so confused.
James answered the door wearing jogging bottoms and a T-shirt. “God, what a sight for sore eyes,” he said, grabbed Virginia and kissed her. They broke apart and went into the house. James had a gorgeous cottage in Chelsea and Virginia fell in love with it the minute she entered it. Although it was sparsely furnished and very clean, it was also cute. Real wooden beams jutted out from the ceiling. Virginia loved it even more than she loved Clara’s flat.
“So, what brings you here?” James asked.
“You,” Virginia answered. She had made a decision on the way over. She had decided she wanted to lose her virginity.
“Really?” James said mockingly.
“Yes really.” Virginia hugged James and immediately felt better.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asked as he held her.
Virginia was nervous. She did want him but part of her was still scared. A drink would help. “Have you got any wine?” she asked.
“Only red I’m afraid, is that OK?”
“Fine,” she smiled.
Virginia sat down on the sofa and waited for James. When he returned with two glasses of wine he sat next to her. “Have you been playing hard to get?” he asked. “Why?” Virginia didn’t understand.
“It’s been ages. I thought you’d call before. I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I’m sorry, but things have been crazy.”
“Virginia, I’m not sure I want to talk about these plans of yours.”
“Well I certainly don’t,” Virginia said sipping her wine.
Although James was next to her, she was unsure of what she should do. Before she had a chance to dwell on this, he leaned over and kissed her tenderly. When they finally broke apart, James looked at her. “Do you want to come to bed?”
Unable to speak, Virginia nodded. As he led her to his bedroom she tried to quash her nerves. She decided to let James take control.
He kissed her, then undressed her. As he caressed her she felt both self-conscious and heavenly at the same time. James was an expert and he lowered Virginia on to the bed, kissing, licking and touching her. Virginia groaned with a pleasure she had never experienced. James took this as a sign to take his clothes off. Virginia’s eyes widened at the sight of him. He guided her hand downwards and she started stroking. Although she felt unsure of herself, she gained confidence by James” groans of satisfaction. He was still kissing her all over when he suddenly stopped.
He reached into his bedside table and pulled out a condom. He stared at her as he put it on; he then pushed her down to a lying position before climbing on top. Virginia bit hard on her lip so she didn’t cry out. She was in pain, but it was a good pain.
“Are you all right?” he asked and she nodded. He kissed her again. Virginia finally realised she had been missing out. When James climaxed, Virginia was really enjoying herself. James lay next to her holding her in his arms.
“Do you want to get under the covers?” he asked tenderly.
“Yes,” Virginia said, suddenly feeling cold without his body warming her up. He moved her gently then he gasped.
“What?” Virginia said feeling worried.
“Virginia, you bled.” James looked at her. “You were a virgin?” he asked disbelieving.
“Yes,” Virginia admitted, feeling stupid.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” James asked.
“Why should I?” Virginia said defensively.
“Because, darling, I would have been more gentle. God, I’m sorry.”
“You were gentle. Anyway, I was too embarrassed. A virgin at my age.” Virginia felt stupid again.
“Virginia, you’re full of surprises. You know I really like you, don’t you?”
“Do you?”
“You’re very special. And now, well, I feel privileged. But I wish you’d told me.”
“What difference would it have made?” Virginia felt insecure.
“None to how much I wanted you, but I hate to think I wasn’t considerate enough.” James pulled her close.
“You were gentle enough to make me want to do it again,” Virginia said boldly. She didn’t know where the words were coming from, but they kept coming.
“Oh, yes? Well, then, I should oblige you.”
“You’d better. I mean, I need to make sure it’s as good as I thought it was the first time.”
James caressed her. “I promise you it’ll be better.”
They made love twice more before they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Virginia slept properly for the first time in ages.
In the morning, J
ames woke her. “I’ve got to go to work,” he said, kissing her ear.
“I’d better get back to Clara’s,” Virginia replied.
“Are you going to tell her now?”
“Not just yet. Please, James, not yet.”
“So am I just a one-night-stand?”
“Do you want to be?”
“No, I bloody don’t. Will you call?” he said.
“Of course, but I’ve got to finish this business. Can you be patient with me?” Virginia looked at him.
“Of course, but promise you’ll call.” Virginia couldn’t believe this was happening to her. How could he want her? But he said he did so he must.
“I’ll call,” she said, kissing him.
James went to the shower and Virginia put on her clothes. She still couldn’t believe she’d done it. She had seduced a man. A gorgeous man. A man who said he liked her. A man with whom she was falling rapidly in love. She waited until he was dressed and they left at the same time. He dropped her off near Clara’s flat but on the main road. They kissed, and Virginia watched as he drove away.
Chapter Forty-three
Ella woke early. She had had a horrible night with Clara demanding to know where Virginia was. Ella had said that Virginia was in shock over the Gavin thing, which made Clara launch into a tirade about how naive Virginia was. Then she had taken Ella’s presence as a sign that she was on her side. They had sat up for ages arguing over the plan. Ella had kept telling Clara that it was the worst idea she had ever heard, which prompted tears and tantrums. Clara argued that it would work. In the end, she had agreed just to get her to shut up. Ella missed Virginia desperately.
It was only six in the morning, but she got up and showered. Then she made coffee, sat in the kitchen, and tried to think rationally. Her head was pounding from lack of sleep. Her eyes were sore. She was feeling sick and panicked.
At eight she heard the front door open and Virginia walked in.
“So you’re back,” Ella said.
“Yes.” Virginia looked shy.
“I told Clara you’d gone home. You were with James, weren’t you?” Ella’s voice was cold.
“Please, Ella, don’t tell her,” Virginia begged.
“I won’t. But only because things are bad enough already. Last night was hell. Hours of Clara going on about how brilliant her plan is.”
Virginia giggled. “She didn’t convince you, then?” She was too happy to be fazed by Ella’s mood.
“Shit. You had sex,” Ella said.
“I know.” Virginia giggled again.
“Is it serious?” Ella asked, mellowing.
“It might be.”
“God, you’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” Ella said.
“Ella, this whole thing is a mess. Even James and me. When Clara finds out, I don’t know what she’ll do.”
“I’m not even ready to think about that,” Ella agreed. Virginia made some coffee and passed Ella a cup. “What are we going to do about this plan of hers?”
“Let her do it,” Ella replied.
“What?” Virginia exclaimed.
“Well, unless you think you can stop her, or come up with a better one, I don’t see that we’ve got any choice.”
“Ella we can’t,” Virginia argued.
“Listen Virginia, I can’t talk her out of it, and I have tried. All bleeding night. That failed, so I guess we just let her go ahead.”
“Ella, don’t you care anymore?” Virginia asked.
Suddenly Ella felt very angry. She wanted her head to stop pounding; she wanted to stop feeling sick. The room seemed to close in on her. “Actually I don’t. And as you had a night off, I’m going home. You can deal with her ladyship today.” Ella grabbed her bag from the sitting room and stormed out. Virginia tried to look indignant as she watched her go, but she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face.
***
Ella drove home, cursing the rush-hour. Sitting in the traffic, she remembered that she had no job and no future. After the latest debacle with Clara, she knew it was time to face facts. She needed to move on. Without the other two. But she cared about what happened to them. And caring had not been a part of her plan. She parked her car and walked up to her flat. Tears streamed down her face as she moved from room to room, not feeling at home, not feeling as if she had a home. Loneliness engulfed her, along with the anger and other feelings she couldn’t identify. “It was not meant to be like this,” Ella shouted to herself, as she looked in the mirror and saw only a stranger. Before she knew what she was doing, she pulled her suits out of her wardrobe. Designer labels everywhere. Pinstripes. More pinstripes. She felt hot with anger. She went calmly to the kitchen, found a pair of scissors, walked back to her bedroom and began to cut up her suits until she was surrounded by tiny pieces of fabric. Then she sat on the floor, the tears took over and she rocked herself back and forth.
***
At eleven Clara emerged from her room and found Virginia in the sitting room. “You decided to come back,” she said huffily.
“I just needed time to think.”
“What about?” Clara said.
“Lots of things.”
“Where’s Ella?”
“She went home. Actually, she stormed out.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. One minute she was fine, the next she said she didn’t care about anything anymore and she left.”
“Virginia, didn’t you try to stop her?”
“Well, you know she can be determined,” Virginia said, as she realised that she should have done so.
“Um. But aren’t you worried?” Clara asked.
“Why? I needed my space last night. She needs hers today.”
“Right. If you say so, I, on the other hand, am worried. I’m going to call her.”
Virginia immediately felt guilty. “But, Clara, she just went home, you know what Ella’s like,” she protested.
“Yes, I do know, but I can feel that something’s wrong. Don’t ask me how, but she wouldn’t have gone like that if there wasn’t something. You should have stopped her,” Clara snapped.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think,” she said.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. I just have a feeling, that’s all. It’s nothing I can put my finger on but, still, I think I’ll call anyway.” She walked to the telephone and dialled Ella’s number. It rang and rang and then the answer phone switched on. Clara shouted, “Pick the fucking phone up, Ella.” It didn’t work. She slammed the phone down in frustration.
“Oh, my God. What have I done?” Virginia asked.
“It’s not your fault. We still don’t know if anything’s wrong.” Clara was being reasonable.
“You’re right. She seemed off-balance. Oh, God.” Virginia turned pale.
“Have you got her friend’s number? You know the girl she stayed with for a while after the sacking.” Clara asked.
“Yes, yes I have. Her name’s Jackie.” Virginia ran to her bag and pulled out her address book. She found the number and gave it to Clara.
“We’re going round to Ella’s,” Clara said.
“Are you sure we should?” Virginia asked.
“I’m not sure about anything but I know something isn’t right.”
Clara dialled the number. “Hello, is that Jackie?” she asked.
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“Well, you don’t know me, but I’m Clara, a sort of friend of Ella’s.”
“Hi Clara.” Jackie sounded friendly.
“We’re worried about Ella. She was out of sorts this morning and she said she was going home. But she’s not answering her phone and we’re a bit worried. Do you have a key to her flat?”
“I do, actually. What do you mean out of sorts?”
“I didn’t see her but Virginia did. Apparently she was fine one minute and stormed off the next.”
“Do you have her address?” Jackie said.
“Yes.” Clara said.
�
��Meet me there. I need to get dressed so if I’m not outside the building wait for me.”
“We will. Thank you.” Clara hung up and ran to put her clothes on, leaving Virginia to berate herself for having been so wrapped up in what had happened to her last night. Otherwise she might have seen that Ella was upset.
***
As they pulled up outside Ella’s apartment block, they saw a girl with jet-black hair about to enter the building.
“Are you, Jackie?” Clara called.
“Yes. Clara and Virginia?” They all smiled weakly. “I tried pushing the buzzer but there’s no answer. Shall we just go in?” The others nodded.
They went up in the lift to Ella’s floor. Jackie opened the door of the flat and they went inside. Everything looked normal. Virginia made for the kitchen, Clara went to the end of the hall, and Jackie to Ella’s bedroom.
“Holy shit,” they heard her say, and ran to join her.
The three of them stood still as they saw Ella surrounded by scraps of suit material rocking herself and crying.
“Oh, my God,” Virginia said.
Jackie knelt down beside Ella. “Honey, it’s ok, we’re here now.” Jackie took her in her arms. Ella looked at them without seeing; she kept rocking.
“I think we should call a doctor,” Virginia suggested.
“I hardly think she’d want that,” Clara said.
“Shut up and let me think,” Jackie said, still holding Ella.
“One of you go and find some brandy. We’ll try that. If it doesn’t work we’ll call a doctor,” Jackie said.
Virginia dashed off and soon returned with a glass.
Jackie held it to Ella’s lips and managed to persuade her to sip some. After a while Ella stopped rocking and threw up everywhere. Virginia ran to the bathroom and found a towel. She came back and tried to mop up the mess. No one spoke.
“I’m going to put her in the bath,” Jackie said finally. She and Clara carried Ella to the bathroom leaving Virginia to clear up the vomit.
As Jackie ran the bath she said, ‘maybe Virginia’s right and we should call a doctor.”
“Jackie, I know you and Ella are close, so I don’t mean to be rude, but she really wouldn’t want that, think about it,” Clara answered.
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