“I know. Thank you for your help with Johnny.”
“I still can’t believe you all came up with such a mad plan.”
“Believe me, it was all Clara’s idea. I went away while she implemented it.”
“Why?”
“I had things to sort out. Anyway, I was convinced it wouldn’t work. I still can’t believe it did.”
“It was fantastic. Although I think Jeff’s losing his hair.”
“Liam, I really miss the office.”
“We miss you. I know you faked your degree. Are you going to tell me why?”
“Maybe one day.”
“I see. It isn’t a first-date sort of story?”
“So this is a date, is it?” Ella smiled.
“I hope so.”
They ordered dinner and talked the whole way through. Ella was enjoying herself and Liam was becoming increasingly attractive to her. After he had paid the bill, they got up to leave. “Are you going to invite me back for coffee?” he asked cheekily.
“I’m going to invite you back for more than coffee,” Ella said, and they got a taxi home.
The next day, Ella smiled all day and sold her car. A number of people came to look round her flat. It was all happening so fast. Liam called and they arranged to meet again the following night. He was cooking her dinner at his place. Ella held out little hope for good food, but she knew she’d get good company and good sex. She called Clara and Virginia and told them what was happening, and they asked her to go round that evening, but Ella needed to phone her parents. She was still working through her list.
The rest of the week passed in a blur for her. By Friday morning she was basking in the afterglow of another fantastic evening with Liam and thinking they might have a future. The estate agent called: he’d received three offers on her flat. She celebrated with a cup of coffee as she read the prospectus she’d been sent by the London college. She felt as though she was finally putting her life back on track.
Chapter Fifty-one
Virginia told Clara she was going to register with some temp agencies. Clara said it was a waste of her talents to go back into secretarial work, but she didn’t have any ideas for alternatives. She still didn’t know what she would do. They both missed Ella.
The revenge was finished and they felt empty. Clara went to see Oliver and came back with more cocaine, which she devoured. Virginia sneaked out to see James a couple of times. He was increasingly insistent that they tell Clara, but Virginia still didn’t feel ready. She wished she could do what Ella had done: Ella had seemed to put everything behind her so easily, and in a way Virginia wished they still had more plans to make so that she wouldn’t have to face the future. Her working future. She had been using the Internet increasingly often, and had begun to think she wanted to do something with it. She just didn’t know what.
One night Clara went out with an old boyfriend and slept with him, which left her angry with herself and unsatisfied. She buried her nose in more cocaine. She was also upset that Ella had seemed to put her and Virginia behind her so easily. Although she had called, she hadn’t been round all week.
On Friday morning, while Virginia was out job-hunting, Clara had a visitor. It was James.
“Jamie, how are you?” Clara hugged him.
“I’m fine, darling, but I need to talk to you.”
“What about?” Clara sat down on the sofa.
“Virginia.”
“Virginia? What on earth for?”
“I like her, Clara.”
“So do I. I asked her to move in and everything. She’s lovely.”
“I agree, but I like her a bit more than that. We’ve ... well, we’ve had a couple of dates.”
“When?”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that she thinks you’ll disapprove and she doesn’t want you to know. She thinks that you’ll throw her out, stop being her friend. I told her you weren’t like that and you’d be happy for us.”
“Right.” Clara felt cold.
“You don’t mind, do you?” James asked.
Clara thought for a minute, then smiled. “Of course not, Jamie.”
After James left, Clara went to get more cocaine. She was so angry. How dare Virginia get James? How dare he get Virginia? She knew it would only be a matter of time before they forgot her, as everyone else forgot her. As Ella had forgotten her. And Virginia had lied to her; James had lied to her. Everyone she loved and trusted lied to her and left her. She took more cocaine, more than she’d ever taken in her life. She walked into the lounge and started throwing things around. She broke everything she could find, she ripped the cushions off the sofa, she hit the walls with her fists, she drank half a bottle of vodka. When the anger and the tears had subsided, she called Ella and begged her to come round.
***
That Friday afternoon, when Ella hung up, she wondered why Clara had summoned her. She had sounded on edge but she wouldn’t say anything on the telephone. Ella felt guilty about keeping away, but she tried to brush that aside. She had called them every day and things had seemed fine, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and she couldn’t shake her guilt.
When she rang Clara’s doorbell, as she had so many times, she was hoping against all hope that everything was OK.
“Come in,” Clara said.
“Hi,” Ella said, then stopped and gasped at the sight before her. Clara looked awful. Her pupils were so dilated that Ella wondered if she had gone mad. Her hair was wild and so was the flat: it looked as if she’d been burgled.
“What the hell’s going on?” she asked.
“You’ll see,” was the reply from the mad girl who seemed to be Clara, but a Clara she’d never seen before. Ella sat down and lit a cigarette, for want of something to do. She vowed again that she’d give up, but this was obviously not the right time. Why did she feel so nervous? They’d had all the bad times, hadn’t they? After a while she heard a key in the lock and Virginia walked in.
“Oh, God,” Virginia said, as she stared into the same mad, staring eyes that had greeted Ella. “I’ve been job-hunting. What’s going on?” she asked.
“What’s wrong? Has something gone wrong?” Ella asked as she looked from Virginia to Clara.
“She knows,” Clara hissed, waving a hand at Virginia. She lunged toward her, stumbled and tried to regain her balance.
“Clara, you’re on drugs,” Virginia said, stating the obvious but seeming calm. She had the upper hand for once. She knew what had caused this. She knew and she was scared for Clara, but at least she understood.
“You bitch,” spat Clara, once again losing her footing and grabbing the back of a chair to steady herself.
Ella realised that this was the final phase. It was time to help Clara.
“Tell me,” she commanded.
“Our little virginal friend has been sleeping with my brother,” Clara snarled.
Ella wondered why this should reduce her to such a state. Clara moved forward and grabbed a vodka bottle. White powder was scattered over the coffee table; Ella realised that she had been on a major bender.
“Yes, my fucking brother. The stupid slut’s got my brother or he’s got her,” Clara burst into tears.
“God, Clara! I didn’t think you’d mind this much. I’ve only been on a couple of dates with him,” Virginia was afraid.
“Why? Why did you have to have him? Why did he get you? He’s got everything, always has had, and now you! You were my friend, not his, and now you’re with him, and I’m alone and I’ve got no one and you’ve got James or he’s got you and I’ve got no one and that’s the way it’s always been,” Clara fell over.
Ella went to her. “How much have you had?” she asked, worried that this time Clara had gone too far.
“Fuck off, bitch, bitches, bitch. How could you? I did this for you. I got you out of your messes and your sad lives, and you take my brother, and you’re my friend and now you’re his, like everything else in my
pitiful life.” She grabbed the vodka bottle and threw it across the room. It hit the wall. Then she went mad, hitting the walls and screaming, “Bitch,” repeatedly.
Virginia stopped looking scared. “You’re right about one thing,” she said. “Your life is pitiful. Christ, you stupid cow. James loves you, he’s the first man who’s been nice to me, and we could all be friends, but you have to try to kill yourself because I’m dating your brother. Well, I’m seeing him again and I hoped you’d be happy.”
“Calm down,” Ella screamed at them. “Virginia, go and get black coffee for all of us.”
Virginia scurried off and Ella crossed to where Clara was sitting on the floor.
Despite her resolve, she knew none of this was finished. Would it ever be finished? Because as she had learnt the hard way, through her work, through getting even and with her quest to sort her own life out, none of this was over until it really was over.
She hugged Clara, who had clearly had too much – she couldn’t even vent her rage properly. “Clara, why can’t Virginia see James?”
“I hated you both at first, you cold, her boring, but now I don’t because you’re all I have and with you I felt I was going to be OK. Virginia my new housemate, your my friend, we were invincible. But now you’ve gone, we haven’t seen you all week, and Virginia will be with James so I lose all three of you. You, Virginia and James.”
She was childlike as she wept, and Ella encased her in her arms as a mother would, stroking her hair, wiping her tears, holding her as close as she could. She blamed herself for walking away. Clara and Virginia had helped her when she needed them and she had known that Clara would fall at some stage. She shouldn’t have left them. Clara and Virginia, the unlikely girls who had worked with her to take their revenge on their bosses, who had helped her confront her demons and stop fearing Tony. And although she had thought she could walk away, she now realised she couldn’t, because they still needed each other, and that was the way it was. “It’s not over yet, it’s just not over,” Ella said to herself.
Virginia returned, tear-stained, with the coffee. She sat down too, and hugged Clara. “I really like James, but only because he’s so like you. You’re my friend first, and if you want me to stop seeing him, I will,” Virginia whispered.
“No, no, I don’t want that. I just want – I just want help.” It was the first time that Clara had asked for help. It was not the first time she had fallen apart, but it was only now that Virginia and Ella were being given a chance to put her back together again.
An hour later Clara got the shakes. She looked at them both with her big blue eyes. “I need more,” she said.
Ella shook her head. “Listen to me. If you can get through tonight with us both here, then you can get through tomorrow and the next day. We’re going to help you, and, God, we’ll help you.” Clara lay shaking in Ella’s arms as Virginia went to get a blanket.
“When I was little and couldn’t sleep, my brother used to make up stories for me about princesses and princes and they always made me feel safe.” Clara glanced at her, still a little unfocused. ‘tell me a story now,” she asked.
“There once was a beautiful princess and she was called Clara ...”
Chapter Fifty-two
As day broke the three girls sat huddled together. Clara had stopped shaking about two hours earlier and Virginia had made more coffee to keep them awake. Ella had never seen anyone look so fragile and she knew that they had been given one last chance to do something.
A phone call, a packed bag and James was all it took. Ella couldn’t help noticing the look in Virginia’s eyes when the handsome heir to Clara’s family fortune walked in. He hugged her, hugged Ella and took Clara in his arms. “Tell me what happened,” he said.
“It’s cocaine,” Virginia said.
“You knew about this? You knew and you didn’t tell me?” James shouted at her. After what they had been through last night, Virginia burst into tears. She was exhausted, they were all exhausted.
Ella said firmly, “James a word in the kitchen. Virginia, stay with Clara.” She grabbed his arm and marched him out of the room.
“We couldn’t tell you. Clara promised us it was over; she kept saying it was under control. You are the last person we’d tell because she loves you more than life itself and she feels ashamed of herself. If we’d got you involved before she let us she would have shut us all out and she probably would have died. Now Virginia has been in pieces about you, about Clara and about the drugs. We would never have let her get like this if we could have done anything to stop it. The reason she tipped over the edge was because you told her about Virginia and you. It ate her up with jealousy. So don’t blame us. You saw her as we did. You couldn’t tell that she was off her head and neither could we. We tried, James, and when we couldn’t do any more we called you.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I should have seen she was in trouble.”
“Then fix her, James.” They walked back into the sitting room.
“Sis, I love you, darling, don’t kill yourself.” They saw the tears in his eyes.
As he carried her to the car, Ella and Virginia trailed behind him with her bag. “I’ll take care of her, don’t worry, and I’ll call you,” he said. Ella kissed Clara’s cheek, and Virginia did the same.
“Thank you,” Clara whispered, as James put her into his car.
Chapter Fifty-three
It seemed a long time ago that they had witnessed Clara being taken away, and although they had spoken to her, this was the first time they had been allowed to visit. The first time she’d been allowed to phone she had begged them to go and get her. On the second she had told them she hated them. On the third, she had apologised, and on the last she had asked them to visit.
They drove up in Ella’s little Peugeot, which she had bought to replace the TVR.
“A bit of a come-down,” Virginia had joked, as she got in.
“Yeah, but when you’re going to be a student you need the money. I could probably live for a year off the money I got for my TVR,” Ella laughed, “and of course, it would hardly have fitted with the lifestyle. If I went to college in that they’d probably throw me out. And no one is going to get the chance to throw me out.” They smiled conspiratorially.
Ella had been accepted on an access course. She planned to study economics – she still loved it. Everyone, including Liam who was now a big part of her life, had encouraged her. She had moved in with Jackie and she saw Virginia all the time. She had been building bridges with her family; she had started to laugh again; she felt happy with who she was. She still called herself Ella: she had decided to leave Eloise buried in Manchester.
***
Virginia and James had been comforting each other, and were becoming close, as friends and lovers. James was helping Virginia with her future. He had coaxed out of her that she wanted to do something with the Internet, and put her on a course to learn more about it. They had both been working out her next move. She was drawing up a business plan and had ideas that she hoped would become reality. She was going to work with Clara; she was also going to work with James. Even Ella had been roped in to help set things up.
She had sent a change-of-address card to her parents. At first, she wrote a letter, pouring out exactly how she felt about them. It was filled with accusations, all the things she’d told Clara, Ella and James. Then she ripped it up. She knew they wouldn’t suddenly change and apologise. She knew they wouldn’t understand. So she sent the card with her new address and nothing else. They knew where she was if they wanted to write to her but she didn’t need them anymore. She had also started e-mailing Susie again. Their relationship had changed beyond belief and it comforted Virginia to see how it was she who was different, not Susie. She wasn’t going to let Susie go, though: she had been her only friend for so long that the friendship would endure.
Virginia and Ella approached a building that looked more like a palace than a rehab centre. It
was called Manor Park, which made Ella laugh.
“I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel,” she joked. They parked and walked to the entrance, feeling a little nervous of what lay ahead. The inside didn’t reflect the glory of the outside as they made their way to Reception. It was cold, grey and more than a little scary. Virginia thought it was just how she imagined prison to be. She glanced at Ella, who squeezed her hand. They had to be strong for Clara. They were led to a visitors’ room, where an ageing sofa and a chair were the only furnishings.
They sat waiting for what seemed like for ever, when the door opened and in walked Clara.
Ella hoped that her sharp intake of breath hadn’t been noticed. Clara stood before them in a baggy navy blue jogging suit, her hair scraped back from her face, which was devoid of makeup. She looked unwell, her skin was grey and she had lost weight. When she saw them she burst into tears.
They hugged, kissed and hugged some more. Then they sat down.
“Are you all right?” Virginia asked, feeling horribly inadequate.
“My name is Clara and I’m a drug addict.” Clara smiled at her feeble joke.
“Shit, is that all? God, we thought it was something serious.” Ella giggled.
“Apparently I’m not addicted to sex at all; it was just the coke. After all, I’ve managed to resist the advances of all the sex addicts in here so I’m OK on that front. Mind you, the way I look doesn’t get me the admiring glances I’m used to.”
“What about shopping?” Virginia asked.
“Well, I can’t test that out in here either. There’s nothing to buy. But I think an addiction to shopping might be OK.”
“Alcohol?” Ella asked.
“I know I drank too much, but I was never an alcoholic. In here, they encourage you to give up everything, but I know that the cocaine and the alcohol weren’t linked. I’m not giving up drink – I only drank too much with the cocaine. I can’t imagine never having champagne again, or wine, or vodka. But if I ever start drinking in the morning, I’ll be back here. Do you think I’m right? Do you think I can still drink?”
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