by Amy Field
“Perhaps if I become Mark’s wife, I can once more feel needed. I will have a house to run, two children to take care of and a husband,” she spoke unaware of the path her mind had led her down. Realizing what left her mouth she laughed out loud as she sat on her haunches looking out across the farm lands that had not been tilled since Matthew’s death.
Maybe she was reading too much into the Deacon’s actions, she thought to herself. Perhaps he was just being a good neighbour and was looking out for a poor widow. She would hate to entertain the idea of them becoming something more than neighbours, only to have it not be true and having him laugh in her face at her assumptions. In any event, she supposed the deacon could probably get anyone he so fancied, He was handsome and hardworking, while she on the other hand could probably be classified with the less than desirable things the community had to offer.
She sighed deeply.
After completing the task of weeding her vegetable garden, Martha decided that she still had energy to burn. So she dusted and swept every surface she could find in the house before making her way to the kitchen to prepare dinner for her and Leah. As the beef stew she decided on was simmering in the pot, she decided to finish what her daughter had started earlier that morning and proceeded to peel the apples for the apple pie she would be making.
When she was finished, she went to freshen herself by taking a long shower and then releasing her hair from the bun to brush away the tangles. She felt refreshed and opted to take a short nap before Leah got home. Even as she tried to sleep her mind forced her to think about Mark and the possibility of them together. As such she drifted off into sleep and had a dream that starred her and the lowly deacon.
“And do you promise to love and protect Martha?” Pastor Hans asked Mark who was staring directly into Martha’s eyes.
The feeling of elation that washed over her when he responded positively to the question had Martha shooting hoops on the inside but just as she was about to respond to the same question posed to her by the pastor, a familiar voice interjected and interrupted the ceremony.
“Wait!” came Stephens voice “You can’t do this Martha. You don’t love him; you love me.”
She felt her heart constrict and when she turned to face the man who she had given her heart to so long ago, she became confused. Mark was patiently waiting by her side for her answer but none was forthcoming. As she looked from him to Stephen her irresoluteness between the two men highlighting the dilemma she had found herself in.
Instead of providing either man with an answer she found herself lifting her skirt and running. The more they called after her, the faster she ran. With a start she awoke to sounds coming from the room opposite hers.
Leah was home.
The following Sunday was church and it was slated to be held at Pastor Hans’ home. Martha was anxious as it meant she would be seeing Mark whom she had not seen since their encounter five days ago.
Martha had hoped he would have visited her and was put out when he did not. Even if he had simply stopped by to deliver more apples, at least it would be a clear indication that he was interested. Now as she fixed her straight blue dress her mind was on him and whether or not he would speak with her after service.
It all was overwhelming, trying to determine whether or not the man had genuine interest in her or was as her mind had warned her simply being neighbourly.
Fixing the prayer kapp securely over her hair, she smoothed down her dress once more before exiting her room and headed for the porch where Leah currently stood, looking out at nothing in particular as she waited for her.
“What are you thinking?” Martha asked when she made no move to push away from the porch beam to which she currently clung.
“Nothing in particular,” she replied simply when she finally focused on her mother before moving away from the beam.
Martha suspected Leah was bothered by something but decided to let it be for now. Heaving herself up and into the driver’s seat of the buggy she waited for her daughter to join her before the two were off.
Nearing the service venue Martha saw Mark before he spotted her but opted to keep out of his line of sight at least until service was over. She watched as he entered the large barn where everyone was currently gathering as service would begin soon.
When she entered the barn, she decided to take a seat closer to the back where she would be obscured from view as the other women came piling in and sat before her blocking her presence. Mark was currently standing beside the preacher as he was slated to give a brief teaching before they received the main word from Pastor Hans.
As he spoke, Martha found herself riveted by his deep baritone voice and by the charisma with which he spoke about Jesus’ teaching on loving thy neighbour as thyself – she thought the message was convenient and it brought her mind to her earlier thoughts. Perhaps he truly was being neighbourly and had no interest in her past that.
As soon as service ended, Martha slipped out of the barn eager to get some fresh air and time to collect her thoughts before the usual chatter commenced as persons milled around while waiting for the afternoon meal that was being prepared to serve. She walked towards the small meadow that was behind the barn happy that no one had seen where she went and content to get some time to herself.
Coming upon a small pond where a mother duck and her offspring were currently paddling across, she stopped and took a seat by the huge willow tree whose branches hung so low that some of the leaves were immersed in the water giving it the appearance of sapping up the liquid through its tips.
She stared out at the scene before her, marvelling at how free the ducks were as they had the opportunity to come and go as they pleased – something she had never been privy to.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” came the voice of the man that currently had her mind in turmoil.
Whipping her head in his direction, she offered up a small smile.
“Hello Mark,” she answered pleasantly.
“Hello Martha,” he repeated her greeting after inserting her name.
Coming closer he stood looming over her as she stared up at his smiling face even as his green eyes captured hers.
“Do you mind if I sit Martha?” he asked her and she felt a sudden leap of her heart and butterflies gliding over each other in her stomach as her mind processed his request.
“Ah sure, sure,” she managed to blurt out before scooting over so that he could take a position beside her.
The two sat in silence for a while just staring at the ducks who circled the pond continually and on occasion half immersed themselves in the murky water before shaking themselves dry.
“There is something I have been meaning to talk to you about,” he said suddenly causing Martha’s heartbeat to race at an alarming speed.
“Oh yes?” she asked expectantly as she turned her attention to him.
He simply nodded his response and she waited with anticipation for him to continue.
“I have thought about this long and hard Martha and I know that I may be rejected by you but I feel I owe it to myself and to you to tell you how I feel.”
Again her heart picked up speed as it beat erratically against her chest, the sound hammering against her ears.
“And how is that?” she asked, her voice suddenly breathy from the activities taking place in her body.
Turning to her, he took both her hands into his and again she felt the jolt of electricity like what she had felt the last time he held her hands. Surprised she stared into his eyes that had become much darker than she had ever seen them almost reflecting the colour of the murky pond water. He stared intently into her eyes and she opened her mouth to take in a gulp of air to calm her nerves.
“When my wife died I was devastated and I never thought I would ever have the slightest bit of feelings for anyone like I had for her. Over the past year though I realized that my thinking had shifted and try as I might to deny it, I can’t. I have grown quite fond of you Martha,” he confessed st
ill staring at her.
Her breath caught in her throat at his revelation, not sure how to respond as in no time had Matthew ever express his feelings to her. Throughout their courtship he had simply collected her at her home and took her for a spin in his buggy around the community. The only words he ever spoke to her about was what he expected from a wife. In those times she had simply nodded her head or provided monosyllabic responses as anything more than that would earn her a disapproving glare from him or a lecture about women keeping silent.
“I-I don’t know wh-what to say,” she stuttered trying to find the appropriate words.
Placing her hand around her neck, she continued to stare at him afraid that she would say something to put him off.
“You don’t have to say anything right now,” he offered. “I just need you to think about my proposition. Martha I would like to court you with the hope of getting your hand in marriage.”
Raising himself to his feet, he held his hand for her to take it.
“I reckon, they should have started sharing the afternoon’s meal. Shall we go back?”
“Certainly,” she replied reaching for his hand and allowing him to lift her up. She was truly grateful for his thoughtfulness. He had not pushed her to give him an answer immediately and his decision to change the subject made her respect him more.
When they made it back to where the others were gathered for the afternoon meal, the first thing she noticed was Anne’s eyes trained on him, and then on her when she and Mark parted to sit with their respective gender. She tried her best not to look in the pernicious woman’s way and took a seat as further away from her as possible.
Martha kept her chatter to a minimum choosing to focus on enjoying the plate of stew and biscuits that were before her. She also did not want to draw any unwanted attention from Anne who she could tell was eager to find out what was happening between the deacon and herself. For someone who was married to a deacon herself, Anne sure did not live up to the title. Instead of being a docile female with great Godly attributes, in Martha’s opinion she was a busybody who only went around stirring up trouble whenever she could. Most of the females had now come to realize the type of person she was, and Martha was one of them.
“I saw you coming back with the deacon after service,” Leah said as Martha pulled away from their neighbour’s farm.
“I think he would make an excellent stepfather,” she continued mischievously throwing a sideway glance at her mother.
Martha internally rolled her eyes at her daughter’s not so subtle attempt to tell her that she approved of her and Mark; not that anything was even there – yet.
“Oh you do, do you…” Martha replied playing along, “And whose stepfather should he be?” she asked turning to give her daughter a pointed stare.
“Someone who has children of course,” she replied while smiling, “And she should be just about his age, with blond hair, blue eyes and a smatter of freckles across her nose like you do,” she finished.
“And where is he going to find someone that is 'just like me'?”
“Well…” Leah began with a mischievous glint. “Seeing as there is no one that would have all the attributes that you have, why should he settle for a replica when he can get the original?”
Martha laughed at her daughter’s reasoning knowing exactly what she had planned to say.
“We will let him choose if he wants someone that is close to the original, or is the original, okay?” she asked after her laughter died down.
“Fair enough,” Leah replied contemplatively.
“What about you my darling?” Martha asked turning the tables on her daughter. “Have you still not found anyone that might have peaked your fancy?”
At this Leah averted her eyes to look ahead as she intertwined her fingers that rested in her lap.
“Leah, honey what’s wrong?” Martha asked concerned at her daughter’s reaction to her question.
“It’s nothing really,” Leah said turning to face her mother once more with a huge smile on her face to hide her prior reaction. “I haven’t found anyone in the community mother but maybe give it a year or two. I don’t know maybe my mind will change,” she reasoned.
Martha was not satisfied with the response she gave as she had witnessed the shadow of fear that had transformed her daughter’s face just moments ago. Something was definitely the matter but she knew Leah wasn’t going to tell her so she would probably have to get to the bottom of it herself.
“Maybe if you had stayed back at after service singing you could have gotten your chance,” Martha spoke pointedly.
“I doubt it,” she said and once more Martha noticed the shadow that slipped into her eyes before it disappeared.
Martha was becoming restless. Why hadn’t Mark made a move yet? It has been nearly a week since he had confessed his feelings for her, yet he had not come to visit. Maybe he had changed his mind, or he was very busy and just couldn’t find the time to visit, she reasoned with herself. Both conclusions only left her feeling more antsy and every vehicle that passed the house had her looking out in hopes that it would be Mark. Everytime it proved to be someone just passing by her home, leaving her with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Hello Martha, enjoying the weather?” asked Claire, one of her good friends who lived two farms away from her.
“Hello Claire, you can say that,” she replied getting up off the porch to greet her.
“It has been a while,” she confessed as both women embraced. “Would you like to come in for a piece of pie and some coffee?” she offered grateful for the company and not wanting the visit to end anytime soon.
“Yes thank you. Is it your world famous chocolate pie?” the woman asked, already eager to partake in the gifts Martha had to offer.
Martha had always been a good cook. For that she was constantly commended, with her visitors eager to consume her sumptuous dishes. Matthew’s presence had always deterred persons from stopping by as he didn’t encourage it – “I don’t like people in my home Martha,” he had warned one day when he had come home to witness her having tea with Claire and her neighbour Hannah who had just married Jonas.
“They just came to pay a friendly visit and I had been meaning to invite Hannah over to congratulate her. What should I tell them?” she asked earning a deep scowl from him.
“Just don’t do it again,” he grumbled before leaving out the back door to tend to the animals.
It was funny how things changed. Now Martha could entertain as much as she wanted and whomever she pleased.
“So what brings you by?” Martha asked her friend even as she placed a thick slice of chocolate cake on a plate for her.
Putting the cup of coffee she had raised to her lips, Claire turned her attention to Martha.
“Well I genuinely wanted to see you. I realized we haven’t seen much of each other for the past month,” Claire responded before pausing for a while. “I also saw you and Deacon Mark after last Sunday’s Service,” she resumed speaking, her voice taking on a note of curiosity this time.
“And?” asked Martha already knowing where the conversation was headed.
“Oh, I was merely curious if you’ve taken my advice and are ready to think about marriage again. I told you before Martha, you’re not too old to find love a second time and I mean it,” her friend said before raising the fork with the piece of cake she had speared to her lips.
“Well, he did tell me that he was interested in courting me,” Martha confessed.
“Really?” Claire asked pleased. “What did you say? I hope you told him yes.”
Martha laughed at her friend’s excitement over her budding relationship with Mark but sought to put some things into perspective.
“I didn’t give him an answer.”
At this Claire’s face fell with her disappointment and Martha rushed on to clarify.
“He told me to think about it before I answered and that he wasn’t in any rush.”
&n
bsp; “But what is there to think about?” she asked uncomprehending the need for a delay. “You like him don’t you?” she asked her in a tone you would use with a daft child.
“Of course I like him but I also like the fact that he wants to give me time to think about it. He is such a considerate man, not at all like Matthew,” she reasoned.
“That you are tight about. He is nothing like Matthew,” Claire agreed. “But don’t wait too long to give him your answer, you know there are other women in the community, even young ones who have been pining after him ever since his wife died. You have the advantage now; push through before someone else pulls a wool over his eyes,” Claire encouraged her.
After Claire’s visit Martha sat thinking about what she had said. Perhaps she should take matters into her own hands. If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed than Mohammed would have to go to the mountain. She was definitely going to take things into her own hands.
After supper she informed Leah that she was going out before hitching up the buggy and heading across town to Mark’s farm.
“Martha! What are you….” Mark started surprised when he opened his door to see her on his porch.
“Hi Mark,” she interrupted. “Can we talk?” she rushed out before her resolve broke.
“Of course,” he agreed moving aside to grant her access.
“Oh no, I thought we could perhaps take a stroll?” she asked hopefully.
At this he smiled before nodding his head.
“I brought you an apple pie that I made from the apples you brought on your last visit,” she said, lifting the paper bag that held the pastry.
“Thank you Martha,” he answered, smiling and genuinely pleased.
“Why don’t you come in while I put this away?” he asked her and she complied and followed him towards the kitchen that was attached to the main house and not separate like hers. When they entered his two sons looked up just as surprised as their father had been.