by Nicole Helm
“Please, Mom?”
“We’ll start with lessons, and we’ll go from there,” Cora said stiffly. It was strange to see her stiff and a little cool. Was this all because he’d been generous enough to offer an alternative if she couldn’t afford the lessons? That seemed like an overreaction to him.
A bell ringing sounded in the distance. “That means lunch,” Shane said, clapping Micah on the shoulder.
“I’m starving.”
“Just wait until we really put you to work,” Gavin said good-naturedly. “You follow me, and I’ll show you what we do when we’re done riding the horses.” Micah trotted after Gavin.
“You want to head to the house?”
Cora’s gaze was blank, and she didn’t meet his. “I think I’ll go see what we do when we’re done riding the horses,” she said, rather high-and-mighty, before she stalked after her son.
Shane could only stare in utter confusion at her retreating form.
What on earth had just happened?
Chapter Eight
It was wrong to be furious. Cora couldn’t help herself. How dare that high-handed, smooth-talking cowboy so easily insinuate she couldn’t take care of herself? As if he knew. When he’d had everything handed to him. All that crap about Ben lying as if it were the worst thing a person could do.
Well, some people had to lie. Some people made mistakes and did bad things. Clearly Shane Tyler was just perfect and well off and oh, so smart.
She was in too much of a red haze to pay any attention to what Gavin was doing with the horse or how much Micah was getting into it. The only thing she could do was stand and breathe, trying to calm that spurt of anger.
It was hardly Shane’s fault he’d accidentally stumbled onto one of her sore spots, and she couldn’t be mad at him. They were just . . . different. All the smiling and flirting in the world didn’t change that fact.
She could hardly be mad at him for proving to her what she already knew. She was less. She was a ball of mistakes and failures who had lied to survive among other awful things.
She’d just thought he’d seen something different in her, and that was her own dumb fault.
Cora stopped the downward spiral of negative thoughts. She forced those old nasty voices out of her head. Some mix of Mom and Stephen and her own insecurities.
She wasn’t that girl anymore. She fought her insecurities head-on, and she didn’t take them out on other people like she had on Lilly for so many years.
“All right. You ready for some grub?” Gavin asked.
“Yeah.” Micah bounded over to her, and it soothed some of that roiling in her stomach. She was doing something right. Maybe the whole basketball camp thing still didn’t make any sense to her, but here he was grinning at her like she’d given him the world.
“You know this is supposed to be a punishment, right?” she asked him, running a hand over his hair, and he didn’t flinch or bat her away.
“Well, the shit was gross.”
“Mouth, Micah.”
“They said it!”
She gave Gavin her best “mom” glare, and he tipped his hat. “Sorry ’bout that.”
“Let’s head in to lunch. And I expect you to be incredibly polite and grateful that Mrs. Tyler is providing us with food.”
Micah heaved a sigh she knew meant assent somewhere deep down. Since he was letting her touch him, she slid her arm around his shoulders. Shoulders that would be up to hers in no time at all.
They walked out of the barn, Gavin leading them toward the house. Shane was nowhere to be seen. She didn’t anticipate the mixed reaction she had to that. A little relief she didn’t have to face him knowing she’d been unnecessarily curt with him, a little disappointment that he’d bail.
“After lunch we can do some weed spraying and some brush clearing in the pastures.”
Micah shifted out from under her arm. “That sounds lame.”
“The lamest,” Gavin agreed cheerfully. “But after a good afternoon of that, we’ll feed and water the horses. Then maybe, your mom willing, we’ll get you up for another ride.”
Micah looked up at her expectantly, and she knew she was sunk. Every last free moment of the next however long it would take for this to wear off, she’d be begging from the Tylers for some horse time.
Because you can’t provide for your son yourself, can you?
Oof. Why couldn’t she get that voice out of her head? Well, she’d have to keep working on it until it was gone. Gone.
They walked up to the porch, and Gavin led them inside, but before she could follow him down the hall, she heard Shane say her name.
She stopped to find him standing in the doorway to the living room. “Cora, can I talk to you for a minute?”
She winced because she knew she owed him an apology. Apparently he wasn’t the kind of guy to let a little unexplained rudeness from a woman go.
“Ooh, I think your mom’s in trouble,” Gavin said in a sing-songy voice, which earned him a glare from Shane and Cora, and a laugh from Micah.
“Come on, kid, let’s load up our plates, and maybe we can get two helpings in before we get back to work.”
Cora wished she could insist on going with Micah, but she didn’t avoid hard things anymore. She stepped into the pretty living room area and tried to smile at Shane.
But he was frowning at her. “Did I do something to offend you?”
She closed her eyes. “No.” But that was a lie, and she might have had to lie on occasion, but she wouldn’t on this. “Yes.” She opened her eyes to find Shane frowning even more deeply, and who could blame him? “I mean, it’s my thing. It was nothing really to do with you. So, we’re fine. It’s fine.”
“Okay. Are you going to . . . explain said thing?”
“No.” God, no. This man in front of her would not understand a sore spot or an insecurity. He would not understand someone who hadn’t been a very good person in parts of her life. Who had been weak enough to be manipulated and harmed and . . . No, she might think he was easy to talk to and nice to look at, but they were just on opposite sides of the world. “We’re awfully different, Shane. I’m not sure we’d ever really understand each other.”
“Okay.” His puzzled frown didn’t disappear, but there was no other way to explain this whole thing to him. Not him.
She forced herself to smile. “Lunch then? Gavin said something about weed killing and then maybe another ride. I hope we aren’t keeping you from your work?”
“No. No, it’s fine,” Shane said, none of the confusion in his tone dissipating.
She started walking for the hall, hoping she could find the kitchen or dining room or wherever Gavin and Micah had gone off to.
“So that wasn’t flirting?”
Cora stopped mid-step. She wanted the floor to swallow her whole. Because she had been flirting. One hundred percent. But that was before he’d insinuated she couldn’t handle her life and . . .
“Uh.” Her cheeks warmed, which was so odd because she didn’t blush. She usually got defensive or bold, never embarrassed. She didn’t even know what to say when usually she could babble her way out of any situation.
“It felt like flirting, but if we’re so different, maybe I was misreading.” Except he sounded a little smug, not contrite or worried he’d read into things.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I was flirting,” she replied, offering him an arch look.
His mouth curved, and all those butterflies she’d thought had died violent deaths just a little while ago winged back to life. Yeah, they were different. Yes, she could never really show him all those ugly sides of her, but wasn’t that okay? New leaf Cora?
Except she had made a resolution. For herself. For her son.
“I’m sorry. I think you’re hot. And nice. But I’m . . .” A mess. No, not that. Not anymore. “I made a New Year’s resolution. No guys this year. No . . . No.”
“Okay.” His eyebrows drew together. “We’re too different, and you hav
e a New Year’s resolution?”
“Yes.”
“Are you making that up? Because I can handle a little rejection. It’s July. A little late in the year to be using resolution excuses.”
She wanted to laugh, and some odd part of her wanted to cry. “No, I’m not trying to spare your feelings. I’m just . . .” Sometimes honesty was the best policy. She couldn’t be honest about all of herself, but she could be honest about this. “I’m trying to be a good mom and a good person, and I haven’t had very much luck doing that when there’s a man in my life.”
“Gotcha.” He made a gesture toward the hallway. “Let’s get some lunch then.”
Cora nodded, stepping into the hall, feeling oddly wrung out emotionally. It had just been a little conversation. An admittance to a certain amount of attraction, and a slightly more depressing admission that she couldn’t act on it.
Even when life wasn’t hard, it was complicated. She followed Shane down the hall, wishing she knew how to make things different.
“For the record,” Shane said in a low voice, glancing back at her over his shoulder, “I’d never want to get in the way of your being a good mom or a good person, since those are things I like about you.”
He dropped that serious, dark gaze and stepped into the kitchen, giving her no opportunity to respond to that, and maybe that was for the best. She didn’t know what she would have said, and she was a little afraid she might have cried if she’d tried to say anything.
* * *
Shane felt broody that evening, and since he didn’t care to dwell in a brood he couldn’t fix, he decided to dwell on one he could.
He’d called a meeting of his siblings. They needed to nip the Ben Donahue situation in the bud once and for all.
Gavin plopped a twelve-pack of beer on the old table. Since they’d been kids they’d turned this small corner of the barn into something of a private space. When Mom got rid of a piece of furniture that still had some use, one of them would drag it out to the little room in the barn that had once been Dad’s outdoor office.
Right now it boasted a table, five chairs, and a few battery-powered lamps. They’d had a mini fridge out here for a while, but it had bit the dust a few years ago, and the thrill of sneaking beer wasn’t quite as big when you were grown adults.
Gavin settled himself on his chair, a worn leather beast that had once been in Dad’s indoor office. Shane sat in his chair, which had been part of a kitchen set. It was uncomfortable and had a creaking, loose leg, but it still held his weight. Lindsay and Molly entered the barn, Molly with a jug of water and Lindsay with one of her ever-present boxes of candy.
There was an empty, overturned crate Boone had used once upon a time. It always stood out like an empty, sore thumb.
“Shane’s got his pacing shoes on,” Gavin said, opening a can of beer. “Let me guess, this isn’t about the price of cattle.”
“We have to do something.” Shane couldn’t control much, but he had to control this. He had to protect his mother. If he didn’t . . .
“You told her about the reference lying, and Mom didn’t budge,” Molly pointed out. “Unless he’s stealing from us or, I don’t know, a serial killer, her mind’s made up. I don’t want to twist myself into knots over this anymore. Let’s just support her.”
“Support her into making a mistake and giving Donahue part of our ranch?” Gavin demanded.
“Is that all you care about? That he’ll have a share of the ranch?” Molly returned.
“You know it’s not, but it doesn’t make it not a concern,” Shane said determinedly. “There can’t be fighting between us. We have to be a united front. Not that long ago we all agreed,” Shane reminded them.
“Honestly, if he confessed to lying before we told on him, he can’t be that bad,” Lindsay offered, being absolutely no help at all.
“Or he’s hiding even worse sins and he confessed to throw her off the lying scent,” Gavin said, pointing his beer at Lindsay.
“And maybe you’re a paranoid nutjob, Gav.”
“Why do you like him so much?”
Lindsay huffed out a breath. “I don’t really like him. I don’t not like him either. But, come on, we’re going to interfere with Mom’s life? On what planet.”
“And good for Mom for getting the hot, younger guy. She deserves a boy toy,” Molly said, not doing a very good job of suppressing a grin.
“Gross,” Shane and Gavin responded in unison.
“We need to hire an investigator,” Shane announced. Though he shuddered at the term, Mom could have all the boy toys she wanted. As long as she didn’t marry them.
His siblings’ responses were immediate and all at once:
“Now you’re talking,” Gavin said.
“Are you high?” was Lindsay’s demand.
“No,” Molly said in her straightforward way.
“What is the harm in pooling our resources and hiring someone to make sure Ben Donahue isn’t a no-good, thieving liar?” Even though Shane was certain Ben was without doing any investigating.
“Mom would kill us,” Molly replied. “Why are you so fixated on this?”
“Why aren’t you?”
“Because Mom’s an adult? Because when you were sticking your nose in my life, I sure as hell didn’t listen to you.”
“And, as I recall, you ended up being wrong.” Which he should not have said to his sister even when it was true. She’d taken a hit there. He shouldn’t poke at it. “Look, we’ve got a tie. So—”
“I could probably break the tie.”
It was as if all the air was sucked out of the barn in one instance. Because even if the sun setting through the door obscured all their views of the man in the barn door opening, they all knew that voice.
“Boone.” Shane sure as hell didn’t know what else to say aside from his brother’s name. His brother who hadn’t been home since Christmas, and even then just for dinner. He certainly hadn’t called home or returned any of Shane’s calls about Mom and Ben. Boone was an occasional ghost at best.
And now he was here.
“Boone!” Lindsay screeched, launching herself toward the figure in the door, but she skidded to a halt. “You’re hurt.”
Boone stepped farther into the room. Actually, limped was a more apt term. Now that Shane could see his younger brother’s face, he saw there were bandages across his temple and chin, and Boone moved stiffly.
“You look like shit,” Gavin said flatly.
“Yeah, well, had the hell trampled out of me by a bull.”
“You didn’t think to call?” Shane managed to croak. Clearly Boone would have had to have been in the hospital with those injuries, and they hadn’t known. He hadn’t contacted them, hadn’t wanted their help or support.
“Nah. A few broken bones and bruises. Healed up okay.” Boone limped forward again. “So, what’s the meeting about?”
“Mom’s getting married. Which you’d know if you ever answered your phone or called.” Lindsay moved like she was going to slap him across the arm, but she stopped herself.
“Married, huh?” Boone flicked a glance toward Shane. They stared at each other for a few palpable, silent moments.
It burned. The physical evidence of a failure he’d never be able to fix, most especially when this thing with Mom and Donahue felt like an uphill battle, when, stupid as it might be, he felt that same burning desire to somehow help Cora . . . except she wouldn’t even tell him why they were so different.
It was almost as if the universe was trying to tell him something, except what could it be telling him? He was the head of this family, and he had to work on the things he could fix, even if it was hard. Even if it was a challenge.
He owed it to all of them.
Boone was home, and that was a step in the right direction. Surely, Boone of all people would be on their side when it came to Mom’s marrying a shady man.
“You’re home. Are you home?” Molly asked, her voice a little scratchy.
“For a bit, I guess. If Mom doesn’t kick me out.”
“She won’t. You know she won’t.” Lindsay and Molly were flanking Boone, leading him toward Lindsay’s chair.
Boone’s gaze returned to Shane. Shane had truly never understood his youngest brother. He’d tried, he really had, but Shane believed in right and wrong, and that you always did what was right. Boone believed in raising hell and pissing everyone off.
“What about you, Shane? Going to welcome me home?”
“Of course,” Shane said stiffly.
Boone’s mouth quirked, and Shane noticed there was a split in the bottom lip. He was more than a little banged and bruised. “How long were you in the hospital?”
“So, tell me about this guy Mom’s marrying. Some crusty old rancher type?”
“Oh, no. He’s a ranch hand,” Molly piped up, clearly hoping to keep Shane from interrogating Boone further.
“And handsome,” Lindsay added. When all three of her brothers glared at her, she rolled her eyes. “Well, he is.”
“He’s old enough to be your father.”
“Fathers can be hot,” Lindsay returned.
Christ, they were all going to kill him. Spontaneous brain explosion. And yet, they were all here. Together. In their old thinking spot. If the universe gave signs, then this was his sign.
His family was all home. Together. If anything would get through to Mom, it would have to be that.
Chapter Nine
Cora didn’t know why she was nervous. There was nothing to be nervous about. She was going to drop Micah off with the Tyler brothers, who were kind, responsible, good men, and they were going to give him chores while she and Deb went to visit the florist.
Micah who had grumbled and groaned and yawned and groaned some more as she’d forced him into the car this morning was now bright and alert as they passed through the Tyler ranch archway.
“I need you to tell me why you got kicked out of basketball camp,” Cora blurted. Because she needed to know why there was this difference. When he’d loved basketball so much.
“You know why.”
“I want to know why you did it. Throwing something at someone isn’t like you, Micah. I know that in my soul. Something happened. Something prompted this, and I need to know.”