by Alison Hart
‘I really like to open up discussions, Jesse. What do you think of this one?’
‘Well I agree. Nobody listens to me and I’ve got a lot to say.’
‘I know you do, Jesse. I’d like for us to have a chat sometime.’
I wouldn’t. He’s still a teacher. He’d probably talk to me for half an hour then make me write an essay about it. And I’m suspicious of people who say my name in every sentence.
After lunch, we’re allowed some free time. There’s not much to do except watch the goats from behind the Activities Room window. We give them all names. It’s fun except we keep getting them mixed up because they all look the same. Except for one. He’s easy to spot because he’s orange and also bigger and scarier-looking than all the others. If he comes up to a tuft of grass, the other goats run off and pretend they didn’t want the grass anyway. He has a bunch of bodyguards making sure everything goes his way. It’s easy to see why the other goats do as he says. We call him Creighton really quietly or when there are no teachers around.
Later on, Miss Agostino brings out a big box of sports equipment she brought from the school and says we can use it as long as we share it (standard instruction 1) and return it (standard instruction 2). There’re a few skipping ropes, tennis balls, frisbees and a basketball. We leave all the boring stuff in the box and take the basketball out to the flat bit of ground behind the Goaty Town enclosure to play four square. We use sticks to mark out the squares because necessity has forced us to be inventive. After a while, Mr S and Ian come and join us. It turns out Ian has a competitive streak. He throws the ball so hard it nearly knocks Mr S over. He should be more careful throwing the ball like that to Mr S. He could break something. Mr S and Ian hog the ball for about five whole minutes, throwing to each other like old friends. They must have forgotten they’re on camp and are supposed to be supervising forty-seven kids.
As we’re packing up Jun says, ‘Who reckons I can throw the ball so far, it’s gonna go all the way around the world and come back to Goaty Town?’
Mr S says, ‘No!’ but we all go, ‘Yeahhh!’ so Jun throws the ball like it’s a bowling ball and we watch as it tumbles and rolls along the flat dirt away from us and out of sight in seconds. Mr S sends two kids out to get it and they come back ten minutes later empty-handed. Three more search parties are sent off and return without the ball. It’s starting to get dark when the last pair return.
‘We’re going to leave the basketball where it is because I’d rather take forty-seven kids and no ball home, than return with a ball and forty-five kids,’ Mr S says.
What an old softie! Maybe he doesn’t know we have to sell about a thousand Westmoore Primary School tea towels to pay for one basketball?
When we return to the enclosure the goats are quite stand-offish – maybe because we got to be free while they had to watch us through the barbed-wire fencing.
I wonder what they think about all day. If I were a goat here, I would make a dash for forbidden Centre Block when the old lady came outside with the bucket. At worst, I would see what’s so secret about it. At best, I would go through Centre Block and out into the free world.
It’s a win-win.
On the way back to the Activities Room, Alex and I notice Jun isn’t with us. No one’s seen him since the basketball disappeared. The two of us kind of talk about it and decide to tell Mr S he is missing. We don’t want him to get into trouble but it’s dark and his goat suit is here.
Mr S and Ms Kendall grab torches to take outside to search the area behind the goat enclosure. ‘If we’re not back with Junli in half an hour, call the police,’ Ms Kendall tells Miss Agostino.
The police! I hope Goaty Town is on their GPS.
We all sit quietly for a change, wondering where Jun has gone.
Peta doesn’t say, ‘Jun shouldn’t have gone off by himself’ or ‘Don’t worry about Jun,’ which is good because we know that and we are worried. She knows how important it is that Jun is okay, even though she’s only been friends with him since yesterday.
Twenty minutes pass and Miss Agostino stands up to go out the door towards the front of Goaty Town to make the call. At the same time, Mr S comes back in through the door with Jun, who has Ms Kendall’s fluffy dressing-gown wrapped around him.
Jun comes over to sit with us while all the teachers and Ian discuss something in the corner.
He tells us straightaway where he’s been.
‘I was out the front of Goaty Town looking for interesting lolly wrappers and stuff in the weeds.’ ‘And …?’ we all ask.
‘I found some Fruit Dewberries and a Lime Licorice Stick. Unopened.’
‘But what happened with Ms Kendall?’ I ask.
‘Oh, Ms Kendall. She asked me what I was doing.’
‘What did you say?’ Alex asks.
‘I told her I was waiting for the basketball,’ Jun says, ‘to go all the way around the world and come back to Goaty Town.’
‘What did she say?’ Braden asks.
‘She said, “circumnavigate”.’
‘Circumnavigate?’
Jun says, ‘It means “go all the way around”.’
‘We know what it means,’ Alex says, laughing. ‘I can’t believe you said that to Ms Kendall.’
‘Neither can I,’ Peta says. ‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.’
Jun says, ‘I don’t even know why I said it … I was out there … thinking about the basketball. It popped into my head.’
He stands up. ‘Do you think I should go and tell Ms Kendall what I was really doing?’
‘No!’ we all say together.
As we line up to collect our tea, I notice Ian has changed his T-shirt again to one that reads, ‘We all Deserve to be Herd’. There’s a picture of a baby chicken talking to a group of cows.
Mr S announces he’s going to make a campfire in the yard after tea. He says, ‘You can’t have a camp without a campfire,’ as if that’s the only difference between this camp and every other school camp, ever.
When we’re all sitting around the fire, Mr S surprises us all by being able to play guitar really well. Then he surprises us even more by being able to play stuff we know after listening to us sing a few lines. Mr S doesn’t mind Ian singing along but we do. He sounds like a contestant on a talent show that should have been eliminated in the first round. He knows all the words to our songs and Mr S’s songs that were probably written a hundred years ago.
No one can think of what to do next until Peta suggests a game of truth or dare. I have a pretty good dare in mind but when it comes around to me, Braden jumps up suddenly and runs outside without any goat protection or anything. Ms Kendall sends me after him.
Braden has gone back to our room in Block E. He looks terrible.
He says, ‘I’ve got something really bad to tell you that I should have told you on the first day of school.’
I hope he hasn’t got a contagious disease or something. I sit right next to him every day. Braden starts talking but I can’t understand what he’s trying to say. He’s all out of breath and keeps asking me over and over not to get angry. Eventually I agree not to get angry because him asking me not to get angry is starting to make me angry.
‘Let me tell it,’ he says. ‘Then you can get angry at me.’
‘Go on.’
Braden sits down on his crinkly newspaper bed. I sit across from him – on Alex’s bed. Alex has been given the school’s spare sleeping bag because his was eaten. Personally, I would rather go without. The life story of that sleeping bag would fill thirty camp journals.
‘Okay,’ Braden says. ‘So … like, it was the first day of school and Mrs Leeman asked me to take the attendance up to the office while you were all still in assembly. To give to the office lady. I didn’t even know where the office was.’
‘You don’t have to tell me every detail,’ I say.
‘You said you wouldn’t interrupt!’
‘I said I wouldn’t get angry … maybe just jump to the bit
where you think I will?’ I say.
He sighs. ‘So I got to the office and Miss Creighton handed me your Grade 6 jumper …’
Braden looks at me.
‘… And told me off because you left it in the library,’ he said.
‘Then what?’
‘I put it on my head. You know … the hoodie bit. Then I couldn’t find my way back to the classroom and ended up in the girls’ toilet.’
‘How did you end up in there?’ I ask curiously.
‘I didn’t know it was the girls’ toilet,’ Braden says, starting to get upset. ‘Everything was the wrong way around … I didn’t know where anything was … I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t know which one was you until after school and then it was too late … I would’ve walked home but I couldn’t remember which way to go.’
‘Oh. What about my jumper, though?’
‘… I accidentally dropped it into the toilet because some girls came in. I was hiding in one of the cubicles.’
Neither of us says anything for ages.
‘You can’t flush a jumper down the toilet,’ Braden says. ‘I tried.’
As soon as Braden mentioned it, I remembered leaving my jumper outside the library on the first day of school. It’s right opposite our classroom. I wanted to get back inside before Mrs Leeman noticed me missing. Why did I forget that, yet remember Noah ate eleven mini toasts that day?
I look over at Braden, who wore my jumper on his head for minutes but carried it in his head for months. I realise I’m not angry at him at all. I’m not sure why.
‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘I promise not to tell anyone what happened – except maybe Jun, Alex and Peta.’
We go back to the Activities Room and explain to Miss Agostino that Braden’s allergic to goats and that’s why his eyes are watering. She makes him have eye baths every half hour for the rest of the night, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
The next morning, everyone has their gear all packed and ready to be put on the bus before breakfast. It doesn’t take me long to pack because the goats have eaten most of my stuff. Miss Agostino and Minha have gone ahead in the car to get supplies for the bus trip back to school.
While we’re waiting for them to return to Goaty Town, a shout from outside makes us all run to the Activities Room window. Ian and Jun are standing in the far corner of the yard. Creighton and a few of his posse won’t let them move. Most of the other goats are heading over there to see what’s going on.
Alex dashes outside, saying something about finding a teacher. He doesn’t need any goat protection because now all the goats are occupied by the events unfolding in the corner. This could be like a team-building exercise for them.
Ian makes a few attempts to nudge Creighton forwards, but he just puts his giant orange head down and stomps his hoof in the dirt.
Today Ian’s T-shirt reads, ‘We’re All Kids at Heart’ and there’s a picture of a whole bunch of goats, dancing around. Creighton obviously doesn’t think it’s funny, so he has that in common with the rest of us.
All of a sudden, I have one of those moments where you do something without thinking about it at all. I pick up a milk crate and head out into the yard. Some of the goats turn around to look at me, but not Creighton or his crew. They stay fixed on their target of Ian, who is obviously trying to stay calm for Jun but not really managing it. He’s saying something except I’m too far away to hear what it is.
Maybe he’s trying to ‘open up a discussion’ with Creighton.
I hold the milk crate like a steering wheel and slowly walk towards the corner of the yard. When I’m about a goat-length away, Creighton turns around and transfers his attention from Ian and Jun to me. Straightaway his posse changes position and forms a little semi-circle around me.
They’re obviously not really into thinking for themselves, his posse.
Creighton is right in front of me now. I’ve never seen a goat up close before. I never knew they were so weird-looking. His eyes are rectangle-shaped. Like two liquorice allsorts without the allsort bit. I sense someone next to me, turn around and see Braden. He’s had a bit longer to mastermind his plan, so he has two milk crates. The second one is upside-down on his head.
Ian and Jun take this opportunity to race back to the building and scramble inside. Hopefully to get some help. Creighton puts his head down and pushes hard against the milk crates. I never knew goats were so strong. If I did, I would still be watching from the window like the rest of Grade 6. I can only assume my eyes look like Braden’s behind the milk crate – wide and terrified. We count to three, drop our milk crates and run back to the building.
When we get inside everyone is cheering and clapping. Braden and I both lie down on the floor because our legs are so wobbly. We refuse the offer of milk-crate seats. In fact, we don’t care if we never see another milk crate again.
The Activities Room door swings open and Alex comes in with Mr S. He should’ve gone for a teacher who can run a bit faster.
Miss Agostino returns from the shop with Minha and gives Braden, Jun and me a barley sugar. Ian says he doesn’t need a barley sugar, but I can tell he wants one.
‘Why did it take you so long to find a teacher?’ I ask Alex.
He says, ‘It didn’t. You were only out there for one minute.’
One minute?
I won’t mention that bit when I tell people about it.
The bus driver’s not happy when she smells the pile of bags waiting to be loaded on to the bus. She’s even less happy when we’re on the bus. It’s amazing how quickly a goaty mist fogs up all the little windows. Alex, Braden, Jun and I grab the row of seats across the back and save a spot for Peta. It’s a good thing I told Peta we were saving her a seat because Leini stands up and stops her halfway down the aisle of the bus.
‘Peta! Over here! I saved you a seat.’ Gina is sitting away from her in a different seat altogether so I know Leini has planned this move. Peta glances down towards us at the back of the bus, then to Leini.
‘Oh. Thanks, Leini … I already have a seat … up the back.’ Leini turns to look at us. We all adopt what we hope is a neutral expression.
‘I saved the window seat for you, though,’ Leini says, which is not quite true because she has to shift across to the aisle seat to make it empty. Peta looks at us again, then back at Leini.
Peta points to us in case there’s any confusion as to where the back of the bus might be. ‘I’ve got a seat up there,’ she announces. I expect Leini to be angry or say something mean but instead she looks pleased, like Peta has done something to impress her. She doesn’t look pleased for long because the seat next to her is taken by Wesley, the last kid to get on the bus. Wesley! He’s looking a bit off already and the bus isn’t even moving yet.
On the way back to school, Braden and I tell Alex, Jun and Peta about my Grade 6 jumper.
Alex is not surprised at all.
He just says, ‘Ohhh … okay. I wasn’t sure how it got into the water pipe.’
Turns out he’d seen Braden on the first day of school walking across the courtyard with a jumper on even though he was new and wouldn’t have one of his own yet. Then, he was in class before anyone else, without a jumper. A couple of weeks later, Alex heard someone in the office asking Ms Kendall why Peta would want a bag big enough to hold a ‘school jumper and some other stuff’.
Alex had kept all of this a secret … because he didn’t want to accuse his friends of anything before he’d figured the whole thing out.
Wow.
I try to imagine what it must have been like for Alex keeping quiet all this time.
The teachers should be careful what they say when Alex is at the office getting his asthma puffer.
Peta’s happy to discover she saved me and Braden by making my jumper disappear permanently. She was a loyal friend before she was even a friend. We’re all quiet while this sinks in.
After a few minutes Jun turns to me. ‘Why didn’t you ask at the office if anyone had handed
in your jumper? You know … on the first day of school?’
‘Oh. Yeah …’ I say, laughing. ‘Why didn’t you suggest that earlier?’
Jun shrugs. ‘I only thought of it now.’
When we get back to school, the bus driver throws our goaty bags on the driveway and drives off to clean and deodorise her bus. Ms Kendall goes into the office. She might be requesting a ‘does not attend camp’ note be added to her file. Mr S waits outside with us. He probably wishes we had five days instead of three at Goaty Town. For some reason Ian’s still hanging around as well, talking to Mr S about building a veggie garden beside the water tanks. Miss Agostino left so quickly, her tyres left big holes in the carpark.
Mr S says, ‘You did a great job under very challenging conditions, Ian.’
Then Ian says, ‘Thanks, Dad.’
Dad!!!
I knew Ian reminded me of someone!
Alex looks at me with his eyes as big as dinner plates. He didn’t figure that one out. We both start laughing and can’t stop, rolling around on the driveway until we can’t breathe.
Jun says, ‘What’s wrong with you two? Why did you think they drive to school in the same car? And look the same? And have the same last name?’
This makes us laugh even more. I still don’t know what the ‘S’ in ‘Mr S’ stands for. My stomach is killing me with all this laughing.
Braden says, ‘Even I knew.’
‘Yeah,’ Peta agrees. ‘That’s because everyone knows.’
‘I didn’t know … I really didn’t …’ Alex says, like it makes him happy that he hadn’t figured it out.
The five of us sit on our backpacks, waiting to be picked up. After a few minutes, Jun leans forwards and says, ‘That was okay, that goaty place. It was the best camp we’ve ever been on.’
Alex nods in agreement. Braden and Peta look at me. They might think we go on camps like this all the time at Westmoore.
I’m covered in dirt and gravel and smell more than a little bit goaty wearing my green elf boots, a hat made out of newspaper and Alex’s pyjamas.
I nod in agreement, too. Without a lie, I can honestly say, in truth: ‘It was.’