Outside the wall directly below us, a few soldiers and cavalry riders had Sonnenbornes tied up, and Kerrick and Harian were directing them to be taken to holding cells, where we could deal with them later. Torches and mage lights glimmered to provide a map of streets as people flooded out of hiding. I heard the distant roar as throngs of people celebrated, joyous that their city had been taken back.
But as much a success as the day had been, a creeping voice in my head let me know that it wasn’t over yet.
We need to talk, the familiar voice whispered. Meet me in the library.
“There’s something I need to take care of,” I told Mare, giving her hand a squeeze. “Meet me at the stables in twenty minutes?”
“That sounds perfect,” she said. “I see Wymund down there—I’d best check with him about plans for repopulation.”
I reluctantly parted ways with her at the base of the wall and walked back through the bustling coutyard to enter the chilly library.
When Queen Invasya arrived, she came alone, in human form and dressed in white as always.
Hello, little bird, she said, easing her way around my mental shields.
“Get out of my head.” I stood up from the chair I’d been waiting in. My days of referring to her as “Your Majesty” were over. I was my own person, with my own strength, and she couldn’t take that from me.
“I can’t,” she said, stepping closer. “I go wherever you go. You’ll hear me if I want to be heard.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to obey you,” I said. I had to believe it for my own sanity.
“No, but it would be nice if you’d consider it,” she said, as though I’d be a fool to do anything other than obey her command. “The threat of Sonnenborne may not be completely neutralized. Two powerful magic users are better than one in a battle, and there is only so much danger in which I can put myself.”
“Delightful! I’ve always looked forward to sacrificing myself for someone else’s kingdom.” My voice dripped with sarcasm. With a pang, I realized I sounded like Mare.
“It’s not just Zumorda. If Sonnenborne were to invade, you know it would only be a matter of time before they pushed on into Mynaria and Havemont.” Her voice was persuasive. How could she be so calm after everything that had happened?
“I’m not saying that I’m in favor of Sonnenborne taking over,” I said. “But you know what would be nice? It would be nice if once in a while someone asked for my help instead of assuming it would be given. Ever since I was a little girl, my life has been mapped out for me. Study, train, practice, then go to Mynaria to marry Thandilimon and become a queen. Once I married, I would produce heirs and take care of the castle. I managed to escape that trap. But what happens? I get sucked into the politics of yet another monarch who sees me the same way—as a pawn. As someone to be used. As someone expendable.” The words felt more and more right as I spoke them, and an anger I didn’t know I possessed washed over me, white hot.
“You’re glowing,” the queen said.
She was right. Particles of light danced around me. I pulled them into my shields. Wasting energy wouldn’t do right now, not when I was already exhausted.
“I don’t see you as expendable,” the queen said. “Family is weakness when you’re a Zumordan monarch, so I never sought out my descendants. But I watched, and waited, in case a gift like mine should emerge somewhere in the family. And it did. In you.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” I said. She hadn’t cared about any of us until my gift had shown itself. That, more than anything else, showed what truly mattered to her.
“Do you realize how rare it is to have the sort of gift you possess? The strongest of the guardians I’ve trained would be laid flat by the day you’ve had.”
“Compliments don’t mean anything to me when they were given because I’ve hurt people,” I said.
“Perhaps not, but I hope you’ll at least consider helping me, little bird. We need you more than you know. Not just Zumorda, but all the Northern Kingdoms. And until you agree, I will go wherever you go. I’ll be with you and care for you until the day one of us dies.”
“Or you could leave me alone,” I said.
“When you’re done having your adventures and your friend returns to Mynaria, and the inevitable boredom finds you, when you’re itching to do something useful again, you’ll find me. And together we will do more than you ever imagined.”
She turned and walked away before I could respond, and was immediately swarmed by Swifts and courtiers as soon as she set foot outside the door. All I cared about was getting back to Mare. The queen couldn’t dictate my life. I would find a way to remove her voice from my head. I would remember, every day, how her words were a threat, not a promise.
I brushed Flicker in his stall while I waited for Mare, losing myself in the familiar circular motion of the curry comb and the steady sound of him crunching his hay. The stables were quiet by the time Mare walked in—the cavalry riders had completed their check, and all the horses were fed, watered, and blanketed. In all honesty, the Mynarians hadn’t had much to do. The only good thing that could be said about the Sonnenbornes who’d captured Kartasha was that they took good care of horses.
“Well, this is a sight to warm my frozen heart,” Mare said, letting herself into Flicker’s stall with me.
I smiled into her chest as she enfolded me in her arms.
“So what comes next?” I asked.
“Wymund’s fighters are going to help escort the refugees back to the city over the next couple of days,” she said, releasing our hug but keeping an arm around me while she reached to stroke Flicker’s neck.
“That’s wonderful news,” I said. “What about after that?”
“Well, I have to tell Thandi what happened and give him the good news that we have help lined up to take back Zephyr Landing.” She picked up a soft brush from the grooming tote and ran it over Flicker’s coat. He sighed, as if rather overburdened by all the attention.
“We do?” I asked. The queen hadn’t mentioned it to me.
Mare smiled wickedly. “Even if the queen refuses to give formal help, Wymund has promised me a contingent of his foot soldiers. I think half of them are delighted by the idea of a Mynarian vacation, even if it involves some bloodshed at the outset. They get awfully bored in Duvey during winter with nothing to do but drills and resurfacing roads.”
“That’s amazing,” I said, only half agreeing with my own words. Of course I wanted Zephyr Landing to be taken back as soon as possible, but there was another problem. “Does that mean you’re going back to Mynaria?” I had my worries about returning there, even with my powers under control. Most people would still consider me a heretic, dangerous, or both, not to mention that the entire kingdom—including the man I was supposed to marry—thought I was dead.
“Perhaps,” she said, dropping the brush back into the grooming tote and turning back to me. “I need to talk to Thandi first, though. I suppose I should make sure he’s all right with whatever plan Wymund and I concoct.” She rolled her eyes. More tentatively, she asked, “What are your next plans?”
I opened my mouth, then realized I had nothing to say. “I don’t know,” I admitted.
She smiled. “There’s a first time for everything.”
I shook my head, bewildered. “I’ve always known what lay ahead.”
“Well.” She took both my hands in hers. “There is one part of your future that could be certain—if that’s what you want.”
“Which part?” I stepped closer to her so that our bodies nearly touched.
“This.” She leaned forward to kiss me. When our lips touched, I let them linger, tasting salt and sadness, but also the joy of being close to her again. Now that we were together, we were both finally home.
THIRTY-ONE
Amaranthine
IN THE MORNING, THE BLOOD IN THE STREETS OF Kartasha was covered in a fresh blanket of snow. It seemed so much more innocent now, but I knew the darkness tha
t lurked underneath.
Denna still slept heavily, and I hesitated to wake her yet. I kissed her on the forehead, strapped on my sword, and left the room. As I made my way downstairs and exited into the courtyard, people behaved with strange deference toward me. It made me uncomfortable, until I realized it was just their way of showing gratitude and respect. It was because of our team of fighters and magic users that these people had their city and their lives back. I tried to nod to each of them, at least until my head started feeling like it was going to fall off.
This early in the morning there were very few people out except those getting a head start on shoveling snow. As I expected, the snow in Hornblatt’s alley was an untouched sheet of white. I avoided the piles lurking beneath it, not knowing whether they were garbage or something worse.
I knocked on his door, smiling when I heard the familiar stream of curses from within.
“What do you—oh, it’s you.” Hornblatt opened the door and let me inside. I stepped into the wreckage, careful not to trip over anything even as Jingles twined herself around my ankles in an extra effort to make sure I face-planted into something.
“I suppose you want to talk to someone,” Hornblatt said.
“My brother,” I told him.
He held out his hand, and I pressed my brother’s seal into it, hoping it would be enough.
“Did you bring me any honeyshine?”
“I brought you my eternal gratitude,” I said. “At least for today.”
He grumbled and swept one of his haphazard piles of papers off the desk in his little room. The mirror lay underneath, with a stripe of green crust on it. Hornblatt grumbled, then spit on the mirror and wiped off the crust with his sleeve while I watched with mild horror. After a brief incantation, he handed the mirror to me. I stared into it and waited for my brother to appear, hoping I hadn’t caught him so early he was in the bath or some other dreadful scenario I wanted no part of.
“Thandi?” I said, hoping he could hear me though the mirror hadn’t yet cleared.
His blond hair came into focus first, followed by his blue eyes and a spooked expression. “Mare?” He squinted at me incredulously. “What are you doing in my horse’s water bucket?”
I sighed. Hornblatt really needed to work on his choice of vessels.
“Just be glad it’s not a chamber pot,” I said.
“Disgusting.” Thandi smiled. “I suppose it must be you, and I suppose this is some bizarre Zumordan magic that I’m to accept as a matter of course.”
Hornblatt huffed indignantly from the other side of the table.
“We took back the city of Kartasha from the Sonnenbornes,” I said. “The Zumordans will help us take back Zephyr Landing in the same way, if you’ll grant me command. In addition to the cavalry, I now also have a company of foot soldiers at my disposal.”
Thandi stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time. “You’re commanding an army?”
“Of sorts.” I smiled.
“The Havemontians will be so glad to hear this,” Thandi said. “I think they were starting to doubt our strength.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re still trying to impress them?”
He glanced down, his neck turning red. “Well, Alisendi, at least,” he said.
“I would laugh, but I’m too tired.” I grinned. The truth was, whatever it meant for our kingdoms, I was glad he’d found someone else to love. He’d never loved Denna like I had, but he deserved someone who lit him up inside the way she did for me. “Speaking of Havemont, though, there’s something very important I need to tell you about the battle and how it was won.”
“Is there a chance we could relocate this conversation to somewhere other than my horse’s stall?” he asked. “I look like a nutter talking to my horse’s water.”
I glanced at Hornblatt, who gave a sour shake of his head.
“I’m afraid not,” I said. “But just so you know . . .” I took a deep breath, feeling shaky and unsure. I had to tell him the truth, but I wasn’t sure how. “There are a few facts I need to clear up with you about what happened when Kriantz abducted me.”
Thandi’s face twisted with guilt. “I’d rather not talk about that night,” he said.
My own guilt doubled in size. “I know, but we must,” I said softly. “It’s about Denna.”
“Nothing I can do will ever make up for losing her,” he said. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I won’t ever forgive myself.”
The moment had come for truth. “But Denna is still alive,” I said. “She didn’t die in the star fall.”
“What?” Thandi looked like he’d taken a hoof to the head.
“Can you hurry up this confession?” Hornblatt interrupted. “Some of us have other things to do. Or drink.”
I shot him a dirty look.
“Who is that?” Thandi asked.
“A friend of sorts,” I said, to which Hornblatt looked rather pleased in spite of himself.
“So, Denna . . . she lives?” The tentative hope on Thandi’s face was almost more than I could bear.
I nodded. “She was part of the team that helped reclaim Kartasha. She’s been here learning to control her magic and use it for the greater good. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. She feared persecution in Mynaria, and desperately needed training for her gift.”
Thandi stared at me, looked up for a few long moments, and then took a deep breath and finally met my gaze in the mirror again. “I don’t know what to say,” he finally said.
“That’s . . . it?” I said incredulously.
“It wasn’t that long ago that I got used to knowing she was dead, and now you’re telling me she’s not. It’s a lot to process, Mare.”
“Fair,” I said. I resisted adding a snide comment that whatever grief he’d felt over Denna’s “death” was probably more peaceful than what Denna and I had been through in the last few moons.
“In any case, it sounds like she’s succeeded in doing some good,” he said. “I’m happy for her that she’s found a path that makes use of all her talents. It’s what her family would have wanted for her. It’s what I would have wanted for her, had I been a wiser man when we first met.”
Maybe it wasn’t just my brother who didn’t recognize me. I barely recognized my own brother, but I liked the person I was getting to know now.
“I think she would appreciate that a lot,” I said.
“In any case, please tell her she’s free, in case that was something that still concerned her. Alisendi and I have worked out new alliance terms that don’t involve marriage but are still productive for both our kingdoms. And I hope to broker one with Zumorda as well.”
“It may be a while coming,” I said. “The queen is still a difficult person to win over. Anything that could be a threat to her autonomy isn’t received well. I have so much to tell you.”
“Mare?”
“Hmm?”
“After Zephyr Landing, will you promise me you’ll come home?” he asked.
My throat tightened. I’d never thought my brother would want me around. I’d always assumed that just like my father, he’d want me sent off to be married as soon as he could find someone foolish enough to take me.
“I could really use your advice from time to time, you know?”
I nodded, overcome. “Yes. Yes, of course.”
Hornblatt made a throat-slashing motion from the other side of the table. He was starting to look a little gray.
“I have to go for now, but I’ll send you a pigeon from Zephyr Landing, if that’s all right,” I said.
“My right to command is passed to you, and I’ll see that the paperwork arrives to the auxiliary there,” Thandi said.
“Ugh, paperwork,” I said. That was one thing I hadn’t missed about Mynaria. “Can I just have Denna set it on fire?”
“No.” He smiled. “Take care, and may the Six bless you.”
“Protocol has gone to your head,” I said. “But you take care, too.”
>
The mirror went cloudy, and then dark.
“Now get out of my house,” Hornblatt said. “I need to feed Jingles.” He stood up and shooed me toward the door.
“I can show myself out,” I said, and picked my way through the disaster of a hallway back to the front door. “Thank you for your help, Tum. You helped save your city, you know. And I’m sure Jingles is glad to have you home.” I petted the little gray cat, and she squeaked a happy meow and rammed her tiny body into my ankles.
“I did, didn’t I?” Hornblatt said, looking pleased and still mildly confused.
I laughed and headed out into the street to make my way back to the Winter Court. The air smelled heavy and metallic in a way I’d come to recognize meant it was probably going to snow again. I pulled my cloak more tightly around my shoulders and walked as quickly as I could to keep warm. When I arrived in my rooms, now at the Winter Court and far finer than those I’d had at the merchants’ hall, Denna was waiting for me.
“How did it go?” she asked.
“We have an adventure to plan and our work cut out for us,” I said.
She smiled. “Then you’d best come sit with me. Strategizing requires hot chocolate.”
I joined her on the plush sofa in front of the windows and reached for the mug she was about to hand me.
“Wait, it’s gotten a little cold,” she said, and cradled the hot chocolate in her hands. She closed her eyes and murmured something that sounded like a prayer, then gave me the mug. The earthenware cup was nearly too hot to hold, forcing me to transfer it from hand to hand to keep from burning myself.
“Trying to scald my tongue to shut me up?” I teased.
“Hardly!” She feigned offense.
“Well, if I can’t use my mouth to drink this chocolate, I suppose I’ll have to find another use for it in the meantime.” I set down the mug, then leaned over and kissed the side of her neck in the gentle way I knew would send goose bumps down her whole shoulder. She turned toward me and her lips met mine, impossibly soft and sweet. Every time we touched, it felt like a miracle all over again. And now, more than ever, I was grateful that she’d chosen me and I’d chosen her.
Of Ice and Shadows Page 37