by Cheree Alsop
Kovak looked down at his hands. Nova wondered how hard it was for the gladiator to break eye contact with a man who had tried to kill him. Her own muscles were tight with the fear that he would be attacked again. She didn’t know how Kovak managed to stay so calm.
“I think I can help you, Farlon, but you have to trust me,” Kove said without raising his head.
The Quarian fell to his knees. He locked all four hands together in a gesture of supplication and begged, “Captain, if there is anything you can do for me, I would be so grateful. We stopped fighting the war, but the war won’t stop fighting me. I’ll never have the peace you do. How can you go on knowing the lives we had to take there?”
Kovak pulled off one of his shoes. Nova knew then what he was going to show the man. She closed her eyes and saw the scars Kovak described.
“Look, Farlon.” He paused, then said, “Each x represents a life I have taken.”
“So many,” Farlon whispered.
“Try being a gladiator,” Kovak replied wryly.
Nova couldn’t help the small smile that touched her lips at his tone. She opened her eyes and watched the two talk together quietly in the darkness.
“Don’t tell me you have more on your other foot,” the Quarian said.
“I do, in fact,” Kovak replied. He pulled off his other shoe.
Farlon gave a soft whistle of amazement.
Kovak’s voice was calm and low when he said, “Killing has been my life since I was sold to the Bacarian System as a child. Even though most of those I fought were also gladiators in training like myself, I had a very difficult time coping with the thought of the lives I was being forced to kill or be slain myself.”
“So what did you do?” Farlon asked with his gaze on Kovak’s feet.
“I began to study the beliefs of other races whose lives depended on being strong enough to defeat those around them. My studies eventually lead me to the Tirimithian tribe. Have you heard of them?”
Farlon shook his head without a word.
Kovak lifted a shoulder as if it didn’t matter. “I didn’t either until I found some ancient tomes in the Grand Lord’s study that spoke of several long-forgotten tribes on a planet in the Vexus System.”
Surprise filled Nova.
“Isn’t Vexus the biggest star in the ‘Verse?” Farlon said.
Kovak nodded. “Yes, but it was once upon a time a rather small star around which orbited two planets and their dozen or so moons. On one of these planets lived the Tirimithians until the star expanded, wiping out its belt, planets, moons, and all to become the hypergiant star we know of today.” He gave a small, humorless smile. “Why do you think we use its name more as a curse than anything else?”
“Because it wiped out the ones who depended on it?” Farlon said with amazement in his voice.
Kovak nodded. “Fortunately, before the Tirimithians were destroyed, a scholar visited their land and collected their beliefs in one of his travel journals.” His words quieted. “The Tirimithians believed that every soul was sacred, and that to kill meant to take away some of the beauty of their world unless a similar, balancing sacrifice was made.” He pointed to his foot. “The Tirimithians didn’t believe in possessions; they believed that the body was the one thing in the world they had, and so marking it was considered an act of great humility and sacrifice. And so, for every life they took, they performed a sacred ritual they called Essen al Tirin. It is in that ritual that I found my first peace.”
“Can you teach it to me?” Farlon asked in the barest whisper as though he was even afraid to ask.
Kovak put a hand on the Quarian’s shoulder. “I would be happy to, my brother.”
Tears of gratitude filled the Quarian’s eyes and spilled down his cheeks. He turned his head away in shame. “I am nothing like the soldier who once fought at your side. You must be so disappointed in me.”
Kovak was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was firm. “You fought at my side when the rest of our squad was busy hiding behind rocks and cowering from the Centari. You believed in my strategy and instigated the final attack so I could take my troops behind them and surround them. Because of you, we were victorious. I am happy to repay that in any way that I can.”
Farlon lifted his hopeful gaze to the Smiren. “Can we start now?”
Kovak looked around. “I don’t have a knife. Usually it takes—”
His voice cut off when the Quarian pulled a small blade from the back of his belt.
The gladiator looked from the Quarian to the knife. “You had that there the entire time?”
Farlon nodded.
Kovak let out a breath. “Remind me to thank you later for not stabbing me when you had me pinned to the ground.”
“I’ll remind you,” Farlon said.
Kovak glanced at Nova. When he met her gaze, he lifted his eyebrows. She did the same in return. They both knew he was lucky to still be breathing. She doubted he would ever lower his gaze from an opponent ever again, even if they had fought beside each other in a distant war to save the Accord Systems.
Kovak moved to sit with his back against the wall. When Farlon didn’t move, the Smiren motioned for him to do the same. Farlon hesitated, then joined Kovak on the ground. Kovak held out his hand. The Quarian didn’t hesitate to put the knife in it.
Kovak studied the blade. His voice was quiet when he said, “I was sixteen and already had deaths on my hands when I found the Tirimithian ritual.”
As Kovak quietly told his story to Farlon, Nova’s thoughts wandered back to the night she had found him passed out from blood loss on the bathroom floor of his quarters aboard the SevenWolf. He had already lost a lot of blood from his fight against their attackers in Lady Winden’s palace. The fact that he had then chosen to mark himself for the lives he had taken in that battle touched her deeply.
She knew if she took off her shoe and traced her finger above her instep, she would feel the small x she had carved for her father that night. The peace that had come with the action was unmistakable. She felt as though she carried him with her always.
She focused back on the pair huddled against the wall of the cold, dimly-lit cell. Her heart went out to both of them, the soldier unable to find peace because of the actions he had been forced to perform in war, and the stoic captain whose eyes said he had seen things that haunted him to his core, yet he still found the strength to make her smile.
“I translated the words but kept true to their original meaning,” Kovak was saying. “It took months, but the result has carried me all these years.” He paused, then said, “Are you ready?”
Farlon held out his hand for the blade. “Ready.”
“Not yet,” Kovak said quietly. “First, repeat after me.” He let out a slow breath, then said the words Nova had repeated for her father. “Your eyes are closed, you breathe no more; your soul no longer sings. Your heart is silent, your thoughts are still; your bones are simply things. No longer bound to flesh and blood, your soul has been set free; accept my sacrifice for you and release yourself from me.” Kovak waited for Farlon to repeat each phrase one at a time, then he said, “Blood for your blood, pain for your suffering, and a scar for your soul. You will be remembered.”
Silence filled the small cell.
“That’s beautiful,” Farlon said in an emotional whisper.
Kovak held out the knife. The Quarian took it and pressed the point to his foot. Kovak adjusted the angle of the blade before he cut too deeply.
“That’s it,” the Smiren said. “A small x for each soul that cries to you to be remembered. You choose who you do it for, but repeat the words for each one.”
“What are you going to do?” Farlon asked.
“Sleep,” Kovak replied in as exhausted a voice as Nova had ever heard. “I could use it.”
“You do that,” the Quarian replied.
Kovak pushed to his feet and made his way wearily to the floor near Nova’s bed. He smiled at her before he settled onto
his back.
“I want to argue that you should be the one sleeping up here,” Nova said.
“But you know I’m going to argue back about how you’re a Lady and I’m a lowly gladiator,” he replied.
She couldn’t help smiling at his retort. “Arguing with you is pointless.”
“I’m glad you see it that way,” he replied in a satisfied but exhausted voice.
Nova hesitated, then reached down a hand. Warmth filled her when his fingers entwined with her own. He then rested both of their hands on his bare chest. His skin felt warm to the touch. She wished she could climb down and be held in his arms, but she knew such an action was too forward with the other Lords around, not to mention her brother.
Silence settled across the cell. She felt Kovak’s breaths fall into a steady rhythm and began to drift away herself when Farlon said, “Thank you, Kove.”
The gladiator’s breathing paused for a moment. He turned his head toward the Quarian and replied, “Anytime, Farlon.” He tipped his head back and closed his eyes again. His breathing steadied quicker this time as if knowing that he had helped gave him the peace for sleep. Nova felt a smile cross her face as she drifted away to dreams of a better time.
The jangle of keys awoke her long before she felt she had gotten enough sleep. She opened her eyes blearily and sat up as four soldiers entered the cell.
“Kovak Sunder and Lord Redden Fay, come with us,” a man said.
“Wait. What about my son?” Regalus said. “Why are you taking a Lord? You never torture a Lord.”
Redden rose to his feet despite his father’s protests. “It’s alright, Father. Let me see what’s going on.”
Regalus stood. “I won’t allow it. You can’t take my son!”
“Want to try and stop us?” the soldier asked. He lifted his arm to emphasize the gun in the holster at his side.
Redden put a hand on his father’s shoulder. “It’s not worth it, Father. I’ll be fine.”
Regalus shook his head, his gaze stark. “I’m afraid you’ll be anything but fine, Son.”
Redden glanced at Kovak. “If Kove can take it, I can.”
Kovak shot him a searching look while trying to keep at bay the worry Nova read on his face. “That kind of thinking has gotten you into trouble before.”
Redden glanced at the soldiers and lowered his voice. “Don’t make a big deal of it. It’s not like they’re giving us a choice.”
“Come with us,” the soldier said in an annoyed tone at the delay.
Kovak met Nova’s gaze. “Take care of yourself.”
“You, too,” she replied.
She didn’t want to see him come back strained and exhausted with painful burn marks across his chest like last time. The fear that he wouldn’t come back at all whispered in the back of her mind. She rose and grabbed his arm as he made his way out of the cell after Redden.
He turned in surprise.
“Kove, come back to me,” she pleaded.
Before he could answer, she kissed him quickly on the lips. When she stepped back, she was aware of everyone staring at them.
“Move it,” the soldier barked.
“Nothing could keep me away,” Kovak said.
He gave her a lighthearted smile and turned to follow his captors. She watched the door long after his footsteps had faded into silence.
“Really? I’m right here,” McKy grumbled, tearing her attention from the door.
“It’s not your place to interfere with such things,” Regalus said.
McKy’s Cadonian eyes widened and Nova stifled a laugh. Even her brother knew better than to disagree with a Quarian Lord. The fact made her happier than she hoped she was showing.
Regalus gave her a kindly smile. “Even in the depths of a dungeon, beauty can still be found.” He looked past her and his face paled. “Why is there blood on the floor?”
She and McKy followed his gaze to where Farlon lay in the corner. His expression sharpened at their attention and he pushed up to a sitting position.
“Farlon, what in Vexus happened?” his father exclaimed.
Nova’s heart slowed at the sight of at least thirty x’s marring the Quarian’s feet. There wasn’t nearly as many as Kovak’s, but doing them all at the same time must have really been painful. She regretted not sitting up with Farlon while he performed the ritual through the night, but she had the strong feeling he would have preferred to keep his thoughts to himself as he did so.
“It’s nothing,” he replied. A smile touched his lips. It was the first Nova could remember seeing since the Centari Wars. “Father, I slept.”
Regalus had been mid-argument when his son’s words stilled his own. His hands lowered from their frantic waving to punctuate his words and a solemnness fell over him. “You slept?”
Farlon nodded and rose gingerly to his feet. Nova’s heart quelled at the blood that stained the floor, but she had no regrets that Kovak had shared the ritual with the Quarian.
“I really slept,” Farlon continued. He sighed and it sounded as though the weight of a million sleepless nights fled with it. “The Captain,” he glanced at her and his smile deepened to touch his eyes, “I mean Kovak, gave me the greatest gift I could ever wish for.”
“How?” Regalus asked. He looked at his son’s feet. “I don’t understand.”
Farlon set both of his right hands on his father’s shoulder. “I know you don’t and I don’t think I could explain it, except to say that Kovak helped me in a way no one else has been able to.” The want for his father to understand filled the Quarian’s eyes when he said, “I don’t see their faces anymore when I close my eyes. I no longer hear them scream.” He shook his head with amazement. “I can move on, Father.”
Though Nova could tell by the Lord’s expression that he was still trying to understand how it was all possible, he nodded at his son instead of asking more questions.
“I am glad for you, my son. Very glad for you.” The depth with which he said the words told Nova just how much he had seen his son suffering.
Farlon’s gaze shifted to Nova. “I don’t know how you found him, but hold onto the Captain. He deserves someone who cares for him the way he does for others.”
“He is a unique one,” Regalus said. “I’ve never seen a gladiator who wanted more beyond his own fame and glory.” He lifted a shoulder. “Truth be told, I’ve never seen a gladiator beyond the arena. Maybe I should get out more.”
Nova smiled and indicated the cell. “I don’t know if this is an improvement.”
He chuckled. “You have a point, Countess. Though at the moment, I don’t regret the company.” His eyebrows drew together. “But I can’t help worrying about my son.”
“I’m sure they’ll be alright,” she reassured him even though the same worries refused to leave her thoughts. “They’ve been through a lot more than this and come out on top.”
She pressed her lips together to keep in her own worries. Kovak had been through so much. Could the gladiator truly handle more for the sake of saving her star system?
Chapter Five
KOVE
Being chained with Redden at my side made it different. I could take pretty much anything, but having my friends tortured was another matter. Part of me was selfishly grateful they hadn’t chosen Nova. If they knew the true depth of my weakness for her, they would break me. I didn’t care which ruler I bowed to if it meant keeping her safe.
Yet after hearing what Nova learned about the Godking’s intentions and the civilizations he would slaughter to reach them, I knew we had to find a way to stop him.
“What are these for?” Redden asked as the soldiers strapped the bands around our chests.
Neither soldier answered him. When they left us with our arms chained over our heads and the electric torture devices strapped to our chests, I was hit with a wave of foreboding.
“Why aren’t they questioning us?” the Quarian asked. “Isn’t that how torture is supposed to go?”
; “Something like that,” I replied. “They didn’t ask me many questions last time.”
“And you looked like the wrong side of a drezian when you came back. What’s the point of torture if they don’t gain anything?”
I could hear the tension in his voice; it reflected my own. I didn’t like being unable to fight back, especially against an enemy I thought I knew.
The door opened and Anaya walked in. Her dark eyes flashed angrily when she met my gaze.
“Are you ready to bow yet?” she demanded without preamble.
Redden snorted. “That’s it? No preemptive questioning, no small talk?”
“Small talk?” Anaya repeated. Her glare intensified when she looked from the Quarian to me. “What is this, some kind of joke?”
I opened my hands and the chains above me rattled. “He’s just kidding. Calm down.”
Something in her expression set me on edge. “Ny, I—”
“Don’t call me that,” she snapped.
She pushed the button on the harness and electricity surged through me. My jaw locked and my body shook as the volts rushed through my limbs. When she stopped, the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. My tongue must have gotten caught between my teeth. I spit to the side. Rage flooded through me at the situation.
“Is that it?” I demanded. “Torture me until I’m dead or bow to the Godking you don’t even believe in?”
Anaya held my gaze for a moment before turning to Redden. “If you don’t care about yourself, perhaps you care more about your friend,” she said.
“You don’t have to do this,” I told her, carefully refraining from saying her name. “He hasn’t done anything wrong. And he’s a Lord. I thought the Godking was treating them as royal prisoners?”
She smirked and pressed the button on Redden’s harness.
My heart went out to the Quarian when he gasped at the pain. His legs dropped from under him and he hung by his wrists as the electricity surged through his system. His eyes rolled back and he shook with the volts.
“That’s enough,” I said, fighting to keep my tone level.