I ducked my head and sighed. I had been acting like a moody teen all week. Maybe moving back home had been a bad idea. But what were my options? I couldn’t go back to my apartment, and I couldn’t stay with any of my friends since they were all Nathan’s family. I’d really screwed up in so many ways—I couldn’t even begin to catalogue them all.
“Sorry, Mom.”
“Thank you. There’s a delivery out front for you.”
“Huh? I didn’t order anything.”
She shrugged. “Well, I can’t sign for you. They need your signature, apparently. Get dressed.”
She closed the door behind her, and I sighed. I felt bad for being so horrible to her lately. I had to do better. Be better.
I got dressed in a hurry—yoga pants and a sweatshirt to cover up my lack of a bra, because who had time for bras when you were heartbroken—and shoved my feet into a worn pair of Chucks. Stumbling down the hallway, I pushed my hair out of my face. I probably should’ve run a brush through it, but it wasn’t like I wanted to impress whatever delivery guy was here.
When I got to the front door, it was closed, and no one was waiting.
“Mom? I thought I had to sign for something?”
“He’s outside!” My mom shouted from the kitchen. “He didn’t want to wait in the house.”
“Uh, okay.” I put my hand on the knob and my mom yelled again.
“And when you’re done, we’re going to have a talk about all this, young lady.”
That sounded ominous. And like something I wanted to postpone as long as possible.
Suddenly excited for my delivery, I ripped the door opened, stepped outside, and found Dylan.
Dylan.
Only about the last person alive I wanted to see at the moment.
I turned around. I’d rather get my ass handed to me by my mother than talk to Dylan.
“Maddie, wait!”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I came to apologize and let you know what’s going on.”
“Well, you’ve got shitty timing!” I shouted back as I whirled around. Tears burned my eyes, obscuring my vision. “The time to apologize was a week ago. Or a month ago when you promised you were going to tell everyone what was going on and not lie—repeatedly—to me. I don’t want to hear anything you’ve got to say. You’re a shitty friend.” I swiped at the tears running down my cheeks.
“I went to the police!” Dylan shouted as he pointed a shovel—of all things—at me. “And I told them everything. Everything.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. “Dylan. Oh my god. What’s… I don’t know what to say. What are they going to do? Will they arrest you?”
He dropped his arm to his side as a disgusted expression swept over his face. “Seriously? Even now, after all the shit I’ve put you through, you’re worried about me?” He shook his head. “I’m not worth it. Like you said, I’m a shitty friend. I know I’m a shitty brother. Why the fuck do you guys still care?”
The naked pain and emotion on his face made my heart ache. I remembered he’d looked the same way in the fifth grade when they’d announced the father/son lunch. He’d cried to me that night about how he hated always having to show up with his brother and not his dad. I’d offered to let him use my dad, but he’d sobbed as he told me it wasn’t the same.
I stepped off the front porch and walked over to him. “Because no matter how much you piss me off, you’re still my best friend. I love you, Dylan. Even when you’re an asshole, and I hate you. I’ll always love you, dork.”
“I’m so sorry, Maddie.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry. I never thought they would come after you. When I heard what they did—” He broke off with a gulping sob. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.” I wrapped my arms around him—shovel and all—and held him tight. “This is the part where you tell me you love me too.”
Dylan made another gulping sob sound as he hugged me back. “I do. I fucking love you so much. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Never. That’s what best friends are for.” I squeezed him tight as a sense of calm settled in my chest. It just felt right. I gave him another squeeze before pulling back. “So uh, you gonna tell me what the shovel is about?”
“Oh.” Dylan dropped his arm from my shoulders and held up the shovel with his other hand. “I brought a shovel and I have a bag of lye in the truck.” He gestured toward the rental truck parked in my parents’ driveway that I hadn’t noticed.
“What?” I swiveled and took in the moving truck. “How’d I miss that? And why did you bring a shovel? I’m so confused.”
Dylan lifted a shoulder. “You said a few months ago about how we were ride or die friends, and you’d help me bury a body if I ever needed it. I knew you were seriously pissed at me, so I thought I’d give you a hand.”
“With getting rid of your body?” I blinked.
“If it came to that.”
“Oh my god.” I laughed. “You’re insane.”
“So are you gonna need it, or is all forgiven?”
“I don’t know. Depends on what’s in the moving truck. It’s not bodies to bury, is it?”
“Nah. That’s just all your furniture from your apartment.”
“What?” I blinked. “How did you—why did you…Why do you have all my furniture?”
“Nathan said you had to get all your stuff out of your apartment by today to get out of your lease. So we all loaded up your stuff. I have your walkthrough and lease termination paperwork in the rig.”
Nathan. Even now he was trying to move me like a fucking puppet. I gritted my teeth and glared at my best friend. “And where is the most annoying Burns brother?”
Dylan raised his eyebrows. “Uh, he didn’t think you wanted to see him right now. Something about you not returning his calls or texts? So he asked for a volunteer to haul the stuff over. And I knew I owed you about a million times over, so here I am.”
“Right.” I bit my tongue and silently fumed. Nathan still thought he knew best. And even when we weren’t together, he was still determined to force me into his choices. It just made me so fucking mad.
“Uh…” Dylan watched me with wide eyes and gestured to the truck. “So if you’re not gonna use the shovel and the lye, I guess I’ll get to unloading your stuff. Where should I put it? The garage?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you should ask Nathan.” The words fell from my lips before I even thought them. I was just so freaking mad. Sabrina and Hope and even Dylan were right—he was too much of an asshole and I was too much of a doormat.
“Um…” Sabrina’s voice came from somewhere behind us. I whirled around and found her standing on the sidewalk with a hesitant expression. “Is this a bad time?”
“Sabrina. Hey.” I winced. The last time I saw her I’d been a sobbing mess. I guess this was a slight improvement. “I should probably help Dylan unload my stuff.”
“That’s okay.” Dylan took three large steps backward and away from me. “I got this.”
I shook my head. “But it’s too—”
“Nope.” Dylan cut me off. “This is part of my penance. I’ve got it.” He awkwardly saluted both of us with the shovel and took off for the back of the truck.
No doubt eager to avoid me and my sour mood.
“Maybe we can talk over here?” Sabrina gestured toward the front porch.
I silently followed her up the steps and took the rocker next to her. “So what’s new?”
“Um, did you make up with Dylan? I know he was worried about you, and you weren’t exactly his biggest fan the last time I saw you.”
I winced. The last time meaning when I was a hysterical mess after I’d left the police station. Between the King throwing the chain at me and Nathan leaving me on the side of the freeway, my emotions had been pretty severe. “Yeah. We talked. I think we’ll be okay. After he makes it up to me a few more thousand times. But we’ll get there.”
/> “So you’re going to forgive Dylan for putting you in that situation, but not Nathan?”
“I thought you’d be happy that I don’t want to be with Nathan anymore. You were so against the thought of us. You called us Romeo and Juliet, remember? Destined to end tragically. Turns out you were right.”
It was Sabrina’s turn to wince. “In my defense I was really drunk.”
“And drunk people never speak the truth. Right.”
“I just… I was afraid that he’d walk all over you.”
“And you were right. He did. He was always trying to control me. Checking my car. He arranged for me to get out of my lease behind my back. And he wanted me to work as a receptionist at the shop.” I shook my head. “It sounds kinda crazy when I say it out loud, but he was trying to control me. Change me. What kind of relationship is that?”
“I was talking to my mom and—”
“Seriously?” I had zero privacy. Zero. This was another great example of why Nathan and I wouldn’t work out. Aside from him being an overbearing ass, we would always have our families in the middle of our business. Who wanted to live that way?
“Yes. My mom. His too. We talk. May I continue?”
I huffed then made a go on gesture with my hand.
“Have you ever heard of love languages?”
I blinked. That was a weird segue. “Uh, it sounds familiar. Like a self-help thing, right?”
“Kind of. I think it came from a therapist or something. Anyway, there are five main love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and acts of service.”
“Okay. What does any of this have to do with me and Nathan?”
“Mom and I think that you and Nathan are having a hard time because you don’t understand each other’s love language.”
I never in my entire life thought that Sabrina or Wendy were the hippy dippy type. “Sabrina, I know you mean well, but my problems with Nathan go deeper than a simple misunderstanding. He’s an overbearing ass, and I’m an accommodating doormat. I had to get out before he walked all over me and started controlled every aspect of my life.”
“But what if all those things that he did wasn’t him trying to control your life, but instead was him trying to show you that he loved you?”
“Really? Now controlling someone is a sign of affection?”
“No, what I’m saying is that him checking your oil, sorting out your apartment, and finding a job for you were all ways of him saying that he loves you. He did the same with Mom growing up. He was always carrying the groceries in for her without being asked and checking her oil and putting gas in her car. It’s how he shows that he loves someone.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Little acts I could understand, but it felt like he was trying to arrange my life for me.
“I think he was just excited and wanting to help.” Sabrina smiled. “Nathan has a rep for being the angry, bad Burns brother, but he’s really just a big, softy. If he went over the line, it’s on you to tell him as much. You can’t have a relationship without communication.”
“Huh.” I hated to admit it, but what she said made sense. Maybe I hadn’t given Nathan an opportunity to tell me what was going on. “But that still doesn’t excuse him leaving me on the side of the road after that Kings tried to kill me. I could’ve been hurt for all Nathan knew.”
“I’m not excusing it or him, but he did say he checked on you before he left.” Sabrina made a face like “He was pissed and he was out for blood.”
“And if he hadn’t tried to chase them down, we never would’ve known it was Rags who tried to kill you,” Dylan said from the porch steps.
“They IDed him?” I blinked in amazement. The cops hadn’t contacted me about any of this.
“Nathan could ID Rag’s bike. That, plus the information I gave them about the Kings drug running operation gave them the leverage to flip Rags. He’s going to testify against the Kings and their supplier. They’ll go to jail, and he’ll probably end up in witness protection.”
“What about you?” I asked Dylan. “Will you have to testify or go to jail?”
Dylan shook his head. “They won’t even need my testimony, since they got Rags and no doubt another King once they start bringing them in. Our lawyer said they’ll most likely give Rags immunity on everything he’s done, including the assault on you.”
“But you won’t have to do any time. Or testify against the baddest motorcycle gang in California. Sounds like a fair trade to me.”
“And all because Nathan chased after Rags.” Sabrina raised her eyebrows.
I snorted. “Like he knew that at the time. He just wanted to kill the SOB.”
“Because he does things for the people he loves.” Sabrina laughed. “Is it sinking in yet?”
Nathan Burns loves me.
A giddy warmth spread through me. Honestly over the past few days something Dylan had said when we had our big blowup nagged at me. The whole “not Nathan’s type” jab had hurt. And made me feel not worthy. It was easy to get lost in my anger because it was better than thinking that I was lacking and that was the reason Nathan had wanted to fix everything in my life.
But no, Nathan had done it because that was how he showed his love.
Don’t get me wrong, we were going to have a huge conversation about boundaries, but that giddy feeling was multiplying inside me.
Nathan Burns loves me.
I bit my lip as my face flushed. “So what I do I do? I swear I feel like I’m in high school again.” I rolled my eyes as excitement filled me. “A boy likes me and I like him!”
Dylan cleared his throat. “This is the part where you grovel.”
“Me?” I frowned. “Why do I have to grovel?”
“Are you serious?” Sabrina shook her head. “You kept a secret from him—a big secret—that almost got you killed. Could’ve gotten Dylan killed too. You don’t think you did anything wrong?”
I winced. I’d been so focused on how everyone had wronged me I hadn’t taken a second to think about how I’d hurt them. And I had. The guilt about the secret had been eating me up which was why I’d demanded Dylan tell the truth. I guess it didn’t matter whether he did or not. I should’ve been the one to tell Nathan what was going on. Especially since it involved all the people he loved.
“You’re right, Dylan. I’ve got to grovel.” I sighed as my mind raced. I thought about Nathan and love languages and all the labels we’d used lately. And I had an idea. “And I think I know the best way to do it.”
Dylan wrinkled his nose. “Ugh.”
“Gross.” Sabrina shook her head. “I don’t want to know about that.”
“Get your minds out of the gutter.” I rolled my eyes. There would be plenty of that, but later—after the groveling. “But I will need your guys’ help.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nathan
The next day
“I don’t know, man.” I sighed as I stared at my clasped hands. “Short of kidnapping her, I don’t know how to make her listen to me. And honestly I’m more than a little pissed at her anyways.”
Ryan grunted next to me after Felicity slapped his face. His words were muffled by her hands when he spoke. “And probably not the best plan considering how she freaked out because you were taking over her life.”
“That’s not what I—”
“Sorry. Just repeating what Hope said after she talked to Sabrina after she talked to Maddie.”
“Jesus.” I rubbed my palm over my face. “It’s like high school all over again.”
“I dunno.” Ryan grinned. “I sure as hel-heck didn’t have one of these in high school.”
Felicity stood on Ryan’s stomach as he reclined on the sofa at his place. Grabbing his ears, she bent down face to face to him. The sheer joy in her face contrasted against the reverence in his. Ryan loved that little girl more than anything.
Damn.
I sighed again. I was starting to feel like an angsty
teen. Mooning after a girl who apparently didn’t want me. But Maddie was having such a hard time getting out of her lease, and I had an attorney on retainer. And maybe I had gone over the line with looking for a job for her. But I meant well.
Shit, was there a sadder sack expression than that? I meant well.
“Nathan’s sad, Fliss.” Ryan mocked me with a pouty face.
“Na!” Felicity sprang off Ryan and leapt toward me. “Na. Na. Na.”
I caught her and let her walk on me like she had with Ryan. It was impossible not to smile when looking at that face. And I didn’t mean Ryan.
“I’m babysitting for you guys Friday night.” I made a face at Fliss even though my words were for Ryan. “You two need some alone time, and I want to spend some time with my favorite girl. It’s not like I’ll have plans on Friday.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“I am. I’ll be over Friday. Plan on it.”
“Fine.” Ryan sighed. “Anyway, I was talking to Hope about you guys and—”
“Argh. Can we give the whole sad sack relationship a pass for now? I really don’t even want to think about it anymore.”
“Will you let me say just one thing?”
“Like you can stop at one thing. What?”
“Just… Will you listen to her when she does finally reach out? Give her a chance to tell you what’s on her mind?”
I swallowed back my first impulse to lash out at Ryan. It burned like hell to take love advice from my little brother, but clearly he had shit figured out. He had a fiancé and a happy baby. What did I have?
Fliss grabbed my nose so I sounded nasally when I answered. “Sure. I can do that.”
Fliss screamed, babbled something incoherent, and slapped my cheek.
“You’re right, princess.” I nodded. “I should’ve listened to you.”
“Buh babababa. Dada.”
Ryan laughed. “She is pretty smart for only being eleven months old.”
“Oh Romeo, Romeo!” A woman shouted outside Ryan’s patio. “Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”
“What the hell?” I looked at Ryan in confusion. “Is there a local Shakespeare play going on?”
Torque: A Bad Boy Next Door Romance (Burns Brothers Series Book 4) Page 21