by Beth Rinyu
He nervously folded the napkin that was on the table. “Mia, I’m dying.” I was emotionless as I stared at him intently. “I have terminal cancer.”
“Oh, so you felt the need to come here to absolve your guilt before you died?” I knew I sounded heartless, but I was so angry. Angry, over the fact that he never bothered to work things out with my sister and I years ago, but had to come here now to lay this guilt trip on me.
“Mia, I came to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for doing what I did to you and your sister.”
“Fine, you said it and now you can go.”
He looked at me sadly as I fought with everything inside of me to hold back the tears. He got up from the table and began to walk away.
“Why did you leave us? Why did you make Tressa and me feel like we weren’t good enough? What did we do that was so wrong?” I shouted as the tears streamed down my face.
He stopped dead in his tracks, turned around, and sat back down at the table and took my hands in his. “Mia, sweetheart. You girls did nothing wrong. It was me. I was the one who failed you. I was screwed up. I felt like my life had spiraled out of control and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I just thought that you girls would be better off without having someone like me in your life. Then so much time had gone by, I just figured you would resent me.”
I shook my head. “Why didn’t you let us make that decision?”
“I don’t know, Mia. I was wrong and I can’t change what I did. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just needed to see you and, hopefully your sister, one last time.”
I was looking into the eyes of a man who knew he was dying. He looked so scared, so alone. All of sudden, I was flooded with memories. Not the bad ones that were still fresh in my mind, but the happy ones. Walking to the ice cream shop on warm summer nights with my dad, remembering how he would always let my sister and me get that extra scoop, even though my mom protested. The nights that he would check for monsters under the bed when I was too afraid to go to sleep. I had spent most of my life trying to convince myself why I shouldn’t love him and I had forgotten about the good times that we had, before he and my mother began to fight like cats and dogs.
He looked so frail and much older than his fifty-two years. Even though I felt like he was a stranger, something about him was familiar. Something that made me realize that deep down inside he was still inside of my heart, tucked away safely in a place that had been under lock and key for the past twenty-three years. Sitting here with him now and looking into his eyes, I suddenly felt the chains being broken from that far-off place. As those guarded walls came crumbling down, I gave him his dying wish - I forgave him.
I had given him my email address, so his wife could email me some pictures that he had wanted me to have of me and him. He gave me his phone number to give to my sister. I warned him that I didn’t know if she would call.
We walked out of the coffee shop and stood on the busy street as the cold wet snow began to fall once again. He took my hands in his. “You are a great girl, Mia. Your mother did a wonderful job raising you. I wish you nothing but happiness, the same happiness that you have just given me.”
I pulled the sleeve of my coat over my hand and wiped away the tears.
“I may have been a horrible father while I was here. But I promise you, if I’m lucky enough to make it to heaven, I will be watching out for you every single second.” The tears flowed down his face as he pulled me close and hugged me tightly. “I love you, Mia.”
I swallowed hard at the words I had yearned to hear from him for the past twenty-three years. “I love you too,” I whispered. I stood still as I watched him walk away down the dark busy street, until he blended in with the crowd. My tears felt like they were frozen on my face. My father had come back to me, only to leave again forever.
Chapter 33
Mia…
I flopped down on my couch, finally feeling like I was able to breathe for the first time since walking out of that coffee shop. I was numb and it wasn’t just from the cold. Every time I thought of the sadness in my father’s eyes, my heart would feel like it had dropped into my stomach. I knew that after what he had done to me and my sister, I should have felt nothing for him. But I couldn’t; that was not who I was. Once someone had etched a space in my heart, it was impossible for me to feel nothing for them, no matter how much they may have hurt me.
I was hoping to have heard from Travis. I needed to hear his voice to help put me at ease.
I took out my phone and dialed my sister’s number. My sister was the opposite of me; she wasn’t able to let things go and forgive as easily as I was. I by no means was going to try and force her into doing anything that she didn’t want to. I was simply going to deliver the message to her and let her make the decision as to what she wanted to do.
“Hey, Mee Mee.” She sounded so upbeat that I felt guilty about what I was about to unload on her.
“Hey, Tress.” She immediately picked up on the tone in my voice.
“What’s the matter? Please tell me that you and Travis made up?”
“Yeah, Travis and I are fine.”
She let out a deep breath. “Tressa, our father came to see me at work today.”
She was silent for a brief moment before responding. “What did he want?”
I went on to tell her the reason for his visit and found myself crying once again.
“I don’t want his number; I want nothing to do with him, Mia. He died a long time ago to me.”
“Okay, he made me promise that I would at least let you know.”
She quickly changed the subject, asking me about what was going on with Travis and me. I told her that we had made up and everything was fine. We hung up the phone without any more mention of my father.
Within a matter of minutes, my cell phone began to ring. I got a little disheartened when I looked down and saw that it was my mother instead of Travis.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Mia, Tressa just called me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I retold the same story that I just told my sister a few minutes ago.
“Oh, Mia, I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that alone.”
“I’m okay.” I tried my best to put on a strong front, but I couldn’t. I began to sob hysterically. “Oh, Mom, I felt so bad for him. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did.”
“It’s okay, Mia. Don’t ever question your feelings, sweetie.” She did her best to comfort me. I got up when I heard my buzzer and was filled with happiness at the sound of Travis’ voice over the intercom. I opened the door and waited for him to come up as I hung up with my mother.
“Mia, what’s the matter?” he asked, no doubt seeing the mess of mascara all over my face.
I couldn’t speak. I pulled him close and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arm around me and walked me over to the couch. He pushed my hair out of my face and wiped my tears away.
“My dad came to see me today.” He looked at me sympathetically. “He’s dying.”
“Oh, Mia, I’m sorry.” He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.
I repeated the entire story for yet a third time. I found that I was just as emotional as I was when telling it for the first time.
“I just wish that he hadn’t told me. Sometimes we’re better off not knowing certain things.”
Travis looked at me almost as if he was taken off guard by what I had just said, before finally speaking. “Mia, you are such a good person. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. He’s the one who missed out all of those years and I’m sure he realized that just by seeing you today.”
He held me in his arms until I calmed down. “Were you busy today?” I asked, finally shifting the subject.
“Yeah, sorry I didn’t call you; my cell phone battery died.”
“You’re here and that’s all that matters.” I kissed him gently on the lips. “Do you need to charge your phone?” I asked.
He nodded and handed me his phone. I plugged it into the charger on my kitchen counter. As soon as the battery started charging up, the endless amounts of beeps came through with all of his messages from the day. He rolled his eyes, trying his best to ignore it.
“Geez, you’re one popular guy,” I joked.
“Yeah, and I bet all of them are from Chloe.”
My smile quickly turned to a frown. He must have seen the unhappiness on my face. “She wants to book me on the Late Show in L.A. I don’t want to do it.”
“Oh, would she be going along with you?” I said, trying to hide the jealousy in my voice, but failing miserably.
“Mia, our relationship is strictly business. I love you and only you. You are the only woman for me.”
“So, why don’t you want to go?” I said, trying to sound a little more upbeat.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Why, do you want to come with me?”
“That would be wonderful, but I don’t think my job could spare me.” I would love to have gone with him, especially if that little bitch was tagging along, but it was hard for me to get any time off from work unless I scheduled it months in advance. “Travis, did you ever sleep with her?”
“Who?”
“Chloe.”
He was silent for a brief second. “No,” he whispered as he kissed me on the top of my head.
I lifted my head from his shoulder as his phone began to beep once again. “Did I mention that I really dislike her?”
He smiled. “Yeah, you did.”
For the first time ever, Travis spent the night at my place. I knew that subconsciously it was because I wasn’t ready to sleep in the same bed that Eric and I had once shared with another man, so this was a huge step for me. He pulled me into his warmth as I snuggled closer to him. My lips grazed his neck and I could still smell the faint smell of his familiar cologne. I kissed him softly on his bare chest as my hand trailed underneath the waistband of his boxers. I looked up at him as my tongue made a downward descent on his stomach. The smile on his face made my heart melt and my mind think, I can’t get enough of Travis Montgomery.
Chapter 34
Mia…
Christmas Day was here and I was so happy to be spending it with Travis and my family. We had spent Christmas Eve with Travis’ family. I had a wonderful time and really loved being in their company; but I was so looking forward to being at my sister’s for Christmas Day. I snapped a million pictures of Paige opening up her presents. This was my favorite part of Christmas, watching her open up her gifts. My sister walked over to clean up the wrapping paper that Paige was getting swallowed in.
“Maybe in a few years, I’ll have a niece or nephew that I can spoil,” my sister said with a smile. I raised my eyebrows at her and shot her a look of displeasure for saying such a thing in front of Travis. Travis and I talked about a lot of things, but kids were never part of the conversation. It was just too soon to be thinking about that.
“She’s kidding, Travis. Don’t pass out,” I said.
“Why would I pass out? I want kids someday.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, especially if it’s with you.” My stomach did a triple flip.
“Aw,” my sister said upon hearing his statement. “Let me take a picture of you guys.” I moved closer to Travis as my sister snapped the picture with her phone and immediately sent it to mine.
I was really feeling down by the end of the night. I had a great time and didn’t want to leave. My mom tried her best to try and coax me and Travis to stay over her house, but I had to be at work in the morning, so I knew that wasn’t an option.
Travis and I arrived back at his place a little after nine. I was exhausted from all of the excitement of the day. I changed into my pajamas and snuggled up with him on the couch, watching TV. He reached behind his back and handed me an envelope and a box. I was a little taken off guard. We had already exchanged presents earlier that morning. I had gotten Travis a new watch and another bottle of his favorite cologne. He had gotten me a beautiful pair of diamond earrings, which I’m sure he spent more on than I cared to know.
“Travis, what is this? We exchanged presents already.”
“Just a couple of things I forgot earlier.” I shook my head and smiled. I opened the envelope and my eyes widened to find an itinerary for a week-long trip to Saint Lucia, leaving on Valentine’s Day. “Oh my God, Travis, This is awesome! I just hope that I can get-”
He stopped me mid-sentence. “It’s already taken care of. I talked to Juan, and you have the week off. It’s going to be just you and me in paradise, celebrating Valentine’s Day for a whole week.”
I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. “That sounds perfect!”
“And I will get you to swim in the ocean.”
“We’ll just have to see about that one.”
He smiled and rubbed his forehead against mine. “Open the box,” he said.
“Travis, why did you -”
“Just open it.”
I removed the lid to find a necklace with a beautiful gold heart.
“Read the back,” he instructed.
I flipped it over. To Mia, the girl with the heart of gold and my girl forever. The tears rolled down my face as I ran my thumb over the inscription.
“Okay, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to wear it, but don’t cry about it,” he joked.
“I love it, Travis. I just never thought I could be this happy again. Thank you so much for this beautiful necklace and for allowing me to open my heart again. I love you so much.” I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled up against him. I had never felt happier than I did right now. I watched the dancing flames in the fireplace while Travis held me tightly in his arms. After living out a yearlong sentence of hell on earth, I had finally made it back to heaven.
***
The week between Christmas and New Year’s was always slow at the salon, which I was somewhat grateful for. It allowed me time to catch up with Juan. I felt like I hadn’t talked to him in ages with the bedlam of the holidays. The time that we would see each other at work was limited with the mad rush of people needing to get their hair done for the holidays.
“So, how was your Christmas?” I asked.
Juan’s smile was a mile wide. “Guess who got a trip to Paris?”
“Oh my God! When are you going?”
“In the spring.”
“Ahhh….Paris in the springtime; that’s awesome!”
“I know. Brian is now at the top of my list of favorite people – for now.” He laughed.
I shook my head and smiled. “What about you? I know you’re going to Saint Lucia, but did you get engaged? If you did, I will kill you for not telling before this!”
“No, I didn’t get engaged, silly! It’s only been five months, Juan!”
“So what! Mia, any fool could see that he’s totally in love with you and I’m thinking feel the same way about him.”
I smiled. I was completely in love with Travis. And the truth of the matter was, if he asked me to marry him today, I would say “yes.” “I do; he makes me smile all day long.”
“Mmmm….I bet he does,” Juan said as he shook his head.
I laughed as I smacked him in the arm. I showed him the necklace and flipped it over for him to read the back. He fanned his face as if he were trying to stop the tears. “Girl, you’re going to make my mascara run,” he joked.
“So, what’s going on with that bitchy agent of his?”
“Not much. I still don’t like her and he’s going to L.A. with her next week,” I said as if it were no big deal.
“What! Mia, why are you allowing that?”
I laughed at his reaction. “Juan, if I don’t have trust in him then what’s the point of being in a relationship? Besides, he asked me to go with him.”
“Okay, and why aren’t you?”
“Um…because I have a job, remember?”
“Oh, Mia, we could probably rearrange your s
chedule so you could go for a few days.”
“Nah, that’s okay. Besides, it will give me time to go on a long overdue dinner date with my ‘girlfriend.’”
“Name the time and place, baby cakes!” He smacked me on the butt just before my next client came walking in.
Chapter 35
Travis…
I threw the last of my things in my bag. My flight was leaving at 5 a.m. It was New Year’s Eve and I was wishing that we didn’t make plans to go over my friends Mike’s and Stacy’s house now. I wasn’t going to be seeing Mia for a few days and I wanted to be alone with her. I couldn’t believe how much I needed her. It went so far beyond sex. I needed to see her gorgeous face, hear her contagious laugh, and connect with her beautiful soul. This was all so new to me. I never attached emotions to any of the women that I was with. Mia was like an angel who affected everyone that came in contact with her, and the funny part about it was, she was clueless as to how special she was.
I lifted my head to find Mia standing in the bedroom door. I was in awe over how she could make a simple pair of jeans and a sweater look so damn sexy.
“See what happens when you give out the key to your apartment? Anyone can just walk in.” She laughed that same laugh that made me want to rip her clothes off and kiss her all over. She sat down on the bed next to me and put her arm around me. “I’m going to miss you.” Her soft lips touched mine as she gently moved her tongue inside my mouth. She tasted like her favorite spearmint gum. She had no clue what she did to me, how just a simple kiss from her turned me into a sex-crazed teenager. I pushed her down on the bed and ran my tongue along her neck. She smelled so good, which was only adding to my fire down below.
“Hey, I think maybe we should just get going. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can get back so I can make sure that I give you a proper goodbye.” She gave me a sexy grin that made it so hard to abide by her wishes. I found the strength in knowing that we were going to pick up later, right where we had left off. She drove me crazy, but in the best possible way imaginable.