Maybe Tanner thought that if she spent more time with children, she would grow into the role of Colby’s mom. That made sense because Tanner seemed to be a natural with children. He’d practically raised his own sister. He was the type who would get married, have a half dozen kids and never miss a step.
Macy worried that she didn’t have that parenting gene. There were days that she loved the idea of raising her nephew, of someday being the person he ran to at the end of school, eager to tell her about his day. There were more nights that she lay awake, scared to death that she would never be able to fill that place in his life, and that he would never want her to be that person.
Beatrice had told her to take her time. In family therapy she’d learned to give him space and to not react when he pushed her away. It was hard, because every time he pushed her away, her heart took it personally.
When it hurt, like it did just then, she reminded herself that her pain was nothing compared to Colby’s.
Her coffee was finished. She put a lid on the thermal mug and grabbed the book Tanner had left for her. She had thirty minutes to get to the ranch. She’d promised Bea she would put some finishing touches on the ranch library, and she wanted to apply for another grant.
* * *
When Macy pulled up to the main house of the Silver Star, Beatrice’s car was in the drive. Flint, the ranch foreman, was just walking down the front steps. He tipped his hat in greeting but went on, heading for the barn. Macy got out of her car and strode up to the house. Beatrice met her at the front door.
“Hey, Macy, I wasn’t expecting you today.”
Macy held the book out, and Bea took it, perplexed, her eyes narrowed as she studied it.
“What’s this for?” Bea asked.
“I thought you might know. Tanner must have brought it to the school.” She handed over the note.
“You didn’t see him leave it?”
She shook her head. “No. I found it in the book bag I carry.”
Bea motioned her inside. “That doesn’t sound like Tanner. He doesn’t do things willy-nilly like that.”
“He asked me if I would read to the boys. I told him I’d have to think about it. I thought maybe he left it, hoping I’d say yes.”
Bea led the way to the big kitchen at the back of the house. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“That would be nice.”
Bea put the teapot on to boil, and then she leaned against the counter, still giving the book her full attention. “Tanner should be here in a bit. We’re going to see what we can find on our missing ranch alumni. You can ask him if and why he would leave a book for you. But if he did do this, don’t feel as if you have to do what he’s asking. I think you already do enough.”
“I love doing what I can for the ranch, Bea. It’s my way of giving back. You all rescued us. I’m not sure what would have happened to Colby if he hadn’t gotten a spot here.”
“I think you would have found him help. Go easy on yourself, Macy. Colby isn’t the only one who has suffered. You lost your brother.”
Unexpected tears burned at the backs of her eyes, and her throat constricted. Macy nodded, because if she opened her mouth, she might cry.
Bea placed a comforting hand on her arm. “Give yourself time to grieve. I think you have a tendency to go full throttle, fixing things. Some situations need time.”
“I know. I’m just afraid. What if I can’t be the person Colby needs me to be? What if he never gets over being angry? Eleanor Mack and I have discussed this several times. We understand anger and sadness at the loss of his parents, but it seems like the anger is magnified, and we don’t know why.”
Bea poured water in two cups. The fragrant aroma of herbal tea filled the air with hints of cinnamon and clove.
“I would agree with Eleanor. Colby is an especially angry little boy. But give it time. We’ll figure out what is going on. Once we get to the root of the problem, we can start working on making the two of you a family. I know you’re afraid you can’t do this. We all feel that way when we are looking a problem head-on and thinking that this is our future. In time you come to a place where you realize you’ve survived it, and that, through it all, God made you a little stronger.”
“Thanks, Bea. I hope you’re right.”
Bea chuckled, “Haven’t you been told? I’m always right.”
“And if she isn’t, she’ll find a way to convince you she is.” Katie Ellis, in her twenties and receptionist of the boys ranch, entered the room. She got a cup and added a tea bag before pouring water.
“Katie, you know I’m always right.” Bea pushed the sugar jar to the pretty blonde receptionist. “Oh, did I tell you that Pastor Walsh is coming by for Bible study with the boys? He has a new video series he wants to do with them.”
Katie turned a little pink at the mention of the Haven Community Church pastor. “I’ll make sure the meeting room is ready.”
“That would be good. And you might offer to help him out.” Bea grinned as she made the suggestion.
“I would, but I have to do laundry tonight.” Katie headed for the door with her tea. “I’m going to head home. Is there anything else you need?”
“Nothing at all,” Bea called out to her. And then to Macy, “That girl. Pretty as they come and sweet, but she’s never really dated.”
Dating, the last thing Macy wanted to discuss. She smiled and reached into her purse for the information she’d found on the many Avery Culpeppers.
“I found all of this last night. Maybe one of these will be Avery Culpepper, granddaughter. A few of them even live in Texas.”
“You’ve been busy,” Bea said as she looked over the list.
“I don’t have much to do in the evenings.”
Bea looked at her over the top of her glasses. “That’s going to change when we get Colby home to you.”
“I hope so, Bea. I really hope.”
“It’ll happen sooner than you know. I realize the two of you had a rough visit when he tried the weekend pass. But that was a big event, going home for the first time since coming here. There are a lot of memories, a lot he has to deal with. We’ll try another pass soon, but for now we’ll stick with day passes. He might do better with a few hours just to let him get used to being at home with you.”
Macy must have made a face, because Bea patted her hand. “And that will give you a chance to get used to being the mom. He’s going to need you, Macy.”
She nodded, unable to give voice to her concerns. Booted footsteps interrupted the conversation. A moment later Tanner appeared in the kitchen. He was tall and broad-shouldered, ruggedly handsome, and for the better part of the year Macy had lived in Haven, he’d ignored her.
She could think of several reasons. Folks in small towns weren’t always eager to welcome outsiders. Or maybe he didn’t like that she’d made a mess of her relationship with Colby. He was protective of the kids on the ranch. She couldn’t fault him for that.
“Are we having a meeting about our missing alumni?” He cut a path to the coffeepot and poured himself a cup, taking a whiff before adding sugar.
“It’s a couple of hours old, probably a little on the bitter side,” Bea informed him. “And, yes, an impromptu meeting. Macy got the surprise you left in her bag.”
He turned, eyes narrowed as he looked from Bea to Macy. From that look, she knew he hadn’t left the book.
* * *
Tanner leaned against the counter, not sure what to say to the two women who obviously thought he should know what they were talking about. He barely knew Macy Swanson. And he didn’t make a habit of forming relationships with parents of the boys at the ranch. “Surprise?”
Macy pushed a book across the counter. He reached for it and gave it a long look. “Never seen it before.”
She hand
ed him a note with handwriting that definitely wasn’t his. “This was attached.”
He shook his head. “Again, I’ve never seen it before, and that isn’t my writing.”
“But you asked me to read to the boys.” Macy’s voice trailed off at the end, and she took the book back from him. “Who else would have done this?”
“Interesting question. But I just saw Pastor Walsh on the front lawn because he was told the boys want Bible studies on Friday afternoons. That’s the first I’ve heard of that. Not that our boys aren’t good kids, but they don’t typically reach out to the local pastor wanting more church. More often than not, they complain about Sunday and Wednesday services.”
Bea rubbed a finger across her chin and hmm’ed. “You know, I got a note next to my phone, like someone had left a message after talking to Pastor Walsh. It said he was interested in spending more time here with the boys and thought that perhaps Katie Ellis could help lead a Bible study with the boys. Of course I called him and asked when he’d like to do this.”
“And here I was going to blame you, Bea.” Tanner sat down next to the older woman.
“Well, it wasn’t me, Tanner.” She gave him an arch look over the top of her glasses.
He winked at Bea and then glanced at Macy. She sat with her gaze lowered, focusing on the book and not on him.
That gave him a few seconds to study the woman sitting across from him. A curtain of blond hair fell forward, slightly hiding her expression. She was slim and graceful; even her hands seemed delicate. Delicate but capable.
He cleared his throat and cleared the thoughts from his mind. “But now that you have the book, are you interested in reading to the boys? I’ve lost track of the ages, but I think we have several under the age of ten who would enjoy a little quality time with you. Colby being one of them.”
“I’ll read to the boys. We’ll combine reading with a lesson on how to use the library, and they can also help me start packing it up.”
Bea clapped her hands together and shot him a beaming smile. “That sounds like a great idea. And I think this will give you some real quality time with Colby. He does love your stories. He talks about them, you know.”
Macy’s expression changed, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. “He always seems to draw back just as I think we’re getting closer.”
“Maybe he’s afraid of getting close?” Tanner offered. “I remember when we first came to Aunt May. We’d been on our own, and suddenly there was this woman wanting to be involved in every moment of our lives. It wasn’t easy to let her in.”
“But he wasn’t used to being on his own. He had parents who loved him and cared for him.”
Bea sighed at the reminder.
“Yes, and then they were gone and you were there trying to fill their shoes. It hasn’t been easy for either of you,” Bea said, her arm around Macy’s shoulders. “Now, Tanner, what brings you to the ranch this late in the day?”
“I wanted to arrange for the group of us looking for the lost residents to meet for dinner tomorrow evening at the steak house. I’m buying. We can look at any notes we’ve found and see what we need to do next.”
“What time?”
“Six okay for everyone?”
“That sounds good,” Bea said as she gathered their cups.
Tanner headed for the door, but then he remembered one other item on his list. “Oh, I forgot something.”
Bea set the cups back down on the counter. “What is it?”
“Chloe wants to see if Russell can have a job helping out around here. I understand if the answer is no.”
Bea laughed at that, taking him by surprise. “That girl can still wrap you around her little finger.”
“Yes, she has a gift,” Tanner acknowledged. “And she thinks I need to get to know the man she plans on marrying.”
“We’ll find him something to do. And try not to worry. We all know Russell. We know his past. After all, Tanner, the boy spent six months here.”
“Of course. I just don’t want any problems for you or the ranch.”
“Don’t you worry about us, we know how to handle young men like Russell.”
Yes, if anyone knew how to handle Russell, it would be Bea. As he started to turn to go, his gaze landed on Macy. He didn’t know what to say to her about the book and the note. Someone obviously wanted to push her into spending more time with Colby and the other boys at the ranch. Maybe Bea? Could even have been Flint or Jake.
Maybe he would ask Jake. He’d been there yesterday. Maybe he’d overheard Tanner ask Macy to help out, and he’d taken off with the idea in order to get her over here more often.
But the book and story time were low priority. The LSCL Boys Ranch needed Cyrus Culpepper’s property. Still, as Tanner left the Silver Star, the Culpepper place wasn’t on his mind. Instead his thoughts had turned to Macy Swanson and the strange turn of events that had her front and center in his life.
Chapter Four
The print of the grant Macy had typed up blurred a bit as she stared at it. She rubbed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. She’d been at the Silver Star since shortly after three, and she had three hours to go until the dinner at the steak house. If she hadn’t agreed to the plan yesterday, she would back out and go home. But she had volunteered, and she wasn’t canceling on people who were counting on her.
Things might seem a little brighter if she hadn’t woken up that morning to a car that wouldn’t start. She’d walked to school from her house. After work, Katie Ellis had given her a ride to the ranch. Macy would have to see if the other woman was still around to give her a ride back to town.
All in all it had been a long day. The kind of day that deserved another cup of coffee. Or a really long nap. And she was getting neither of those things. Instead she was sipping on a cup of herbal tea that Beatrice had brought her, something to soothe her, she’d been told.
A light rap on the door interrupted her musings. She smiled at the woman standing in the opening, her auburn hair pulled back. A floral shirt stretched tight over her belly. For a few months Josie Markham had tried to hide her pregnancy. Or maybe the young widow had been in denial. Her husband, a county deputy, had been killed in the line of duty. Only after his death did Josie learn that she was pregnant.
The two of them, Josie and Macy, had bonded immediately. They were both grieving, both trying to figure out the next step in their lives.
“Are you busy?” Josie asked as she stepped into the room and lowered herself into a chair. She was petite and even now seemed to be all belly.
“No, not really. I’m writing a new grant for a playground. But I have to decide how to word it. I’m trying to have faith that we’ll get the Culpepper place. That changes things a bit.”
“I guess that would complicate the grant process.”
“Yes, a bit.” Macy slid the grant paperwork into the filing cabinet and locked the drawer. “How are you feeling?”
Josie shrugged, but she briefly looked away and dashed a finger under her eye. A sign she wasn’t as great as the chipper smile she always managed to show the world might indicate.
“I’m good.” She sighed, and her hand went to her belly. “Good, meaning I’m waking up each morning. I’m moving forward, even though sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand.”
“Josie, I’m so sorry.” Macy reached for Josie’s hand and gave her fingers a light squeeze. “If you need anything...”
The smile reappeared. “I know. And the same goes for you. We’re quite a pair, aren’t we? Neither of us planned parenthood this way. How’s Colby doing?”
“I’m not sure. When I see him here, he seems fine. But when I tried to take him home, he was lost and then angry.”
“He has been through so much for someone so young. Give him time.”
“It’s been a year, Josie. What if he needs more than I can give him?”
“What do you mean?”
Macy closed her eyes just briefly. What did she mean? How could she put these thoughts into words? “I worry that I’m not the right person to raise him. Would he be better if there was someone else, and I just went away?”
Josie leaned forward and placed a hand on her arm. “Oh, Macy, don’t. He needs you. He might be pushing you away, but in time he’ll let you in.”
“I hope so. And if that isn’t the case, I hope God will show me what our next step is.”
“Colby was always a good little guy.” Josie sat for a long moment, looking out the window of the tiny office Macy used. “Maybe there’s something else, something more. Does he say anything in therapy or their group sessions?”
“Not really. They’ve had a hard time getting him to open up about that night. I understand. Sometimes I’d like to brush it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. But he’s been stuck in the ‘anger’ stage of grief for so long. I just worry we won’t get him to acceptance.”
“And on top of that worry, now we have Cyrus’s will to contend with. I don’t know why his lawyer didn’t try to talk him out of it.”
“Do you think he could have talked him out of it?” Macy asked, already knowing the answer.
“Not a bit. And now I have to run. I’m helping Abby and John Garrett with the boys in their cabin. We’re having a cookout and game night. But Bo Harrington is attending, and his son, Christopher, is already a pill without his parents there to make it worse.”
Macy knew a little backstory, that Christopher Harrington was sixteen and spoiled. The state juvenile office had placed him at the ranch, and his parents were still determined to get him out.
“Have fun. I heard he waxed the windows of Abby’s car. And he’s pulled a couple of the other boys into his antics.”
Josie groaned as she stood. “He’s rotten. I think he has potential if his parents will learn to allow him to suffer consequences. See you later. And let me know how it goes with the meeting and the big hunt.”
The Rancher's Texas Match Page 4