by Beth Mikell
Love Unplugged
A Contemporary Romance Novelette
By
Beth Mikell
Copyright © 2016 by Beth Mikell
All rights reserved.
Cover Illustration Copyright © 2016 Can Stock Photo Inc. Cover design by Kardo Designs
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Beth Mikell
Visit my website at www.bethmikell.com
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing: 2016
CHAPTER 1 - Present
My baby girl sat on the barstool, looking sweet. Her dark hair was pulled up in pigtails, hanging down to her shoulders. As she concentrated hard on eating her chicken fingers and fries, ketchup rimmed the corners of her mouth.
God, I loved her so much.
Every time I looked at her, my heart hurts. Seriously, I thought I might die before raising her. I’d heard mothers say their child was their pride and joy, but until Erin… I never knew how much truth resided in that statement.
“It’s hard to believe she’ll be five soon.”
I glanced at Riven, nodding, unable to find the words to express the love in my heart for my little blessing. My sweet daughter. Riven knew me enough and my silence to know how much I couldn’t speak. Some feelings couldn’t be expressed with words.
He hunkered down at the bar with a laptop, maintaining an eye my other baby, Muze, a bar that served pub type foods. Nothing fancy, but the place was mine. After hours, he kept the books and my sanity in check. We’d met at the bank, both of us applying for a business loan. At the time, I’d been in a dark place, pregnant and alone—and not looking for anything more than friendship. And I’d told him that straight up after we left the bank as he had asked me out to celebrate our incoming loans. He was handsome in a surfer kind of way, but I wasn’t looking for a man. But in his candid way, he told me he already had a guy—a man named Dave. He and his partner had been together two years, and they were very happy.
That was when Riven and Dave became my good friends. Riven owned his own accounting firm, and Dave worked at a woman’s boutique. While one took care of my financial life, the other helped me shop or decorate. I owed all of Muze’s décor to Dave. The man was a genius with design.
I leaned on the opposite side of the bar, glancing back at Erin. “I’m a lucky mama, that’s for damn sure,” I said, cutting a sheepish look back at my friend.
Riven smirked. “With a potty mouth.” He pointed to the cruel addition next to the cash register with his pen: a swear jar. “You owe the jar a quarter, thank you very much.”
I’d asked him to help me figure out a way to stop cursing every two seconds, and he suggested a swear jar. The proceeds would be dumped into Erin’s college fund that he had set up. So far, I’d socked away four hundred dollars in swear words. By the time she graduated college, she’d have enough money left over to buy a house and a car. Honestly, it was win-win for Erin.
I learned to keep a roll of quarters handy. I usually paid all of it by the end of the day. I dug out a quarter from my apron, sliding it into the jar. I gave him an are-you-happy-now look.
He saluted two fingers off his forehead. “The Clean Airwaves Society thanks you.”
Grinning, I matched his salute with one of my own—my middle finger. “Happy to help.”
Riven frowned. “Didn’t you know? Middle fingers now count too.” He pointed again toward the jar, shooting me another grin. “Throw in another for your sass.”
“Just making it up as you go along, huh?” I nodded. “Not a problem.” I dug out another two quarters, dropping them into the jar. “At this rate, I’ll be asking Erin for a loan.”
He chuckled, shifting some papers on the bar next to his laptop. “And at this rate, she’ll be able to afford it ‘cuz she’ll be an heiress before she’s twenty.” He winked. “We need to go over the purchase orders for next week, and check the lineup for the bands we have playing.”
“Sure, just a minute.” I spotted Lisa. She was a tiny thing with long, dark brown hair and blue eyes. Dressed casually, she had an oversized red and white striped bag over her shoulder.
She was another godsend, whom I loved dearly. I initially hired her to work as a server, but after realizing I needed a babysitter, she offered to help me out. Luckily, she and Erin clicked too. I could run my business, while having someone trustworthy to look after my daughter until closing. Another bonus? She also happened to be Dave’s little sister, so I was indeed luckier than most.
“Sorry, I’m running a little behind today. Traffic was terrible,” Lisa said to me, leaning down to place a brief kiss on Riven’s face as she passed by. “Hey, bro by another mother.” She kept going toward Erin.
“Hey,” he murmured, flashing her an easy grin.
“No worries, Lisa,” I said, moving closer to them. I smoothed my finger over Erin’s mouth, wiping away the ketchup. I loved my daughter’s sweet smile, and the way her eyes sparkled. A familiar pain squeezed my chest. She had the same look as her… No, I wouldn’t think about him. Not now.
The other woman engulfed my daughter in a hug, kissing the top of her head. “Hi, munchkin. I missed you.” She dug through her bag, pulling out two items and held them up for Erin’s inspection. “Look what I brought for you.” Lisa didn’t wait for a reply. “The Frozen movie and a Frozen coloring book!”
Erin squealed with delight, throwing her arms around Lisa’s neck. Her excitement was infectious.
“I see you two will have fun tonight,” I said, wishing I could join them.
Lisa nodded. “Yes, we will.” She squeezed Erin one more time. “That is until little miss goes to sleep. I have finals to study for.”
How could I forget? By day, Lisa was in college, studying for her degree in psychology and by night, she looked after my girl. “Look, if you need some time off, just say the word,” I said. “I can juggle some shifts around, no problem.”
Lisa waved me off. “No, so far so good. I’ve already had two exams, and I nailed them. The next one is on Monday. I’m kicking academic booty,” she said, smiling, air pumping. She turned to Erin. “About done, sweets? Wanna go snuggle in for our movie?”
“Yeah!” Erin exclaimed, high fiving my daughter’s little hand.
A small pang hit my chest. I didn’t want Erin to leave, yet I knew Muze would hit a busy stride, and she didn’t need to be here. She was such a sweet child—so good-natured and not giving me a bit of grief or worry. Of course, I suppose her rebellious side would kick in later, especially knowing what kind of teen I’d been. I’ve heard paybacks were a bitch, and I inwardly grimaced. If Erin turned out to be like me, I’d really be in trouble.
I kissed Erin and watched as she and Lisa made their way to the back of Muze. I lived above my business, converting the space into a decent sized apartment. The convenience of living so close allowed me to be accessible, in case Erin needed me.
Turning back to Riven, I lost myself in purchases orders and bands that would play at Muze. I’d grown in credibility, hosting upcoming artists on their way to stardom. I’d done pretty well too. My autograph wall claimed some great talent. Musical greatness such as Purple Spades and
Raim. They’d all played here before they hit the ‘big time,’ winning Grammy’s and sold out tours.
“Hey, what’s this?” Riven asked, holding up a stained sheet of notebook paper.
CHAPTER 2 - Present
The edges of the yellowed paper showed signs of aging, and the creases added to the crumpled wear and tear. My eyes fell on my familiar doodling, and the title Love Unplugged. Panic hit me.
Shit. How the hell did that get in the stack of purchase orders? Then I remembered how I’d dragged out my old song writing notebook a few nights ago, flipping through the pages. I’d been reminiscing over lost love with a glass of bourbon. Dumb move because I’d cried a bunch of tears that didn’t improve my mood or fix my broken heart. One sheet obviously fell out of my notebook.
I lunged forward, but came back empty handed as Riven snatched it out of reach. I frowned. “Gimme that!”
He shook his head. “Uh-huh. Not until you tell me what this is.” He glanced at the paper, his eyebrow raising. “Nice. When did you write this?”
Taking a deep breath, I pushed down my fears, hoping he wouldn’t guess. I had no desire to flip through my past and barf up my sob story. I was sure he and Dave had figured out that I suffered from a broken heart, but they’d been good about not asking me a bunch of questions.
I pasted on my best glare, holding out my hand. “Please.”
His face softened, handing over the sheet of paper. “I’m sorry, Beretta. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I folded the crinkly paper, sliding it into the pocket of my jeans. “Not a problem.” I smoothed a lock of my short, unruly, brown hair from my face. “I’m not upset. There are things I’m good at and things I’m not.”
Riven’s eyebrows drew together. “I don’t mean to play Devil’s advocate here, but didn’t you write a song for the band Raim? Winter’s Girl? Seems to me you have a talent for writing songs. Why haven’t you written more?”
I shrugged, turning away. I grabbed my towel, wiping down the bar. Not that the squeaky clean counter needed it, but I needed to keep my hands busy. “It was a one-time thing and more of a collaborative effort than just my song. The lead singer, Jason, was stuck, and I helped him out.”
“I seem to recall twenty-five grand paid out to you by Raim’s record label,” Riven said, looking smug. “They thought it was good. The ballad stayed at number one for weeks.”
I gave a nervous chuckle, feeling my cheeks warm. Why I felt so embarrassed, I didn’t know. Probably because I didn’t believe in myself. All my life I’d been fighting for acceptance and love, but I didn’t want to think about that now. Or ever. Some things were better swept under the bar, rug, or any object for that matter.
Gritting my teeth, I willed myself to stay composed. I shucked the towel in the small hamper under the bar and turned to face Riven. “That money was from Raim. They all pitched in. Jason’s record label had nothing to do with it. I told him not to give me anything other than an honorable mention, but he didn’t listen. I think he just fell in love with Erin’s smile.” I shrugged. “It happens. I’m guilty of the same thing.”
It was probably more than I let on. Jason was a sweetheart, and he had asked me out several times. We’d shared a burger a time or two, and he was cool with my single mom status, but I wasn’t interested in dating a rock star. I was already someone else’s leftover girl. I didn’t want to continue the trend.
By Riven’s expression, I could tell he wasn’t buying into my words. Yeah, me too. But I didn’t have the heart to share how lonely I was and sound pathetic. I couldn’t voice how I ached for the comfort of someone to love me. The kind of love that didn’t judge me. I wanted a man to see beyond my sleeve length tattoo and piercings and love me for me. I fantasized about a man who enjoyed my creativity and quirkiness. And he’d especially love Erin. Yep, such a man didn’t exist. Or at least, he did in my heart, but he was far out of reach. I was a fool to keep believing he would just appear and sweep me off my feet.
Riven sighed, leaning forward. “Just hear me out. You always sing a cover at the close of business each night. Everyone loves that and goes crazy over your raspy, eat-your-heart-out-Sia like voice,” he said. “Why not do some original work, maybe you’ll catch the attention of a label and sell some more songs—”
“I’ll think about it,” I said, cutting him off ungraciously. I winced. “Sorry to be a jerk, but I have enough going on in my life. Honestly, I don’t have time to sit and write songs anymore. It is what it is.”
He shook his head. “Okay, but I still think you should reconsider.”
Thankfully, that was all he said, and I did what I do best: manage Muze and serve my customers until my closing song.
I pulled out the worn piece of paper, gently unfolding it. I read the words that had leaked from my heart so many years ago.
Leaves fall,
Stars call…
Bang the front door, baby…
And take away the pain.
You were my sweet embrace,
But I can’t hear your heart anymore.
(Chorus)
Let the pain bleed.
Let the pain go.
Just lie to me, baby.
Tell me I was everything, if only for the moment.
Because you were mine, in every way.
All I wanted was for you to stay.
We were strings… matched perfect.
We loved unplugged.
Wind blows,
Rain flows…
Tears I can’t escape…
Shadow my days and drown my nights.
I hear the echo of your voice,
But I turn and you’re not there.
And I’m going crazy… crazy.
So lay me down in tears,
And wash away the years.
Your hands will heal my heart,
With love unplugged…
Tears stung my eyes, and a tight pressure on my chest increased. I didn’t have the guts to sing this. It was too much, too soon. I’d never settled my old ghosts. I’d never let go of my deepest love. He still filled every crevice of my soul. He was the only man to make me believe that happiness could exist, but now, he was long gone.
Grabbing my guitar, I settled on stage. I tucked him into the little corner of my heart where I kept all things secret. I wouldn’t think about him. But I knew I was lying to myself.
He’d married someone else. I’d seen the wedding announcement in the paper. Well, technically, I hadn’t read it, but I didn’t need to. I knew he’d made his choice.
But each day I saw part of him.
Our daughter.
I owned a part of him… just as he owned all of my heart.
Erin had his eyes. His smile. She was him all over again. I knew I was screwed if he ever found out that I’d had his baby and didn’t tell him. I knew he had a right to know, but I couldn’t think about that either.
So I lost myself in someone else’s song. I sang about someone else’s flaws and lost love. Yeah, I knew I was fooling myself. Every sad song was about me.
CHAPTER 3 - Past
I hated parties. Especially ones filled with rich college punks. They were little spoiled brats, riding on the backend of their parent’s money—acting like little jerks. Partying came first, and if they weren’t hung over the next day, then class. Why didn’t education come first? Oh, right. That came second to getting inside a girl’s panties.
I didn’t belong here.
“Beretta, can you get my phone in my bedroom?”
I glanced at Ashley, my best friend. A group of guys buzzed around her, while she preened under their attentions. She and I had been friends since middle school. She was more of a girly-girl with blonde ringlets laying over her perfect breasts. Her skin tight black dress left little to the imagination too. Though my bestie had a steady boyfriend, I think every guy had stumbled over his tongue to claim her right and left side. It was a gross display of competing male hormones. But this was what Ashley loved
most—being the center of attention.
“Sure, I’ll go,” I said. I’d do anything to get away from this madness. I’d had several suggestive offers in two hours. One guy was so bold, he told me he wanted me to whip out his dick and suck him off in the kitchen. Just no. I’d almost throat punched him, but I’d promptly splashed my drink in his face and walked away.
These idiots didn’t know how easy they had it.
The only huge difference between Ashley and I was money. She came from a well off family, while my father died when I was three, and my mother had been a stripper and junkie until she died two years ago. I had dropped out of college. I couldn’t afford it. My ambition for a business degree got lost in needing to provide a roof over my head. Working as a bartender wasn’t my job of choice, but life continued to kick my ass daily, so I was thankful to be employed. At least I wasn’t following my mother’s footsteps.
As I made it to Ashley’s room, I shooed out a couple getting frisky, shutting and locking the door behind me. I leaned up against the cool wood and closed my eyes. I really wanted to leave, but I promised Ashley that I’d stay. I could handle a busy, crowded bar any day of the week, but this up close and personal partying wasn’t for me. I felt too exposed.
I strode over to Ashley’s vanity, glancing at myself in the mirror. I looked a bit frazzled, and my smudged eyeliner made my brown eyes appear dead. I’d recently dyed my hair black and streaked it with blue. I also sported a pale complexion and tattoos. I’d inked my entire left arm and started on my right shoulder. I had several piercings. All over. Nose, ears, eyebrow, belly button, and both of my nipples. I loved the sense of power decorating my body gave me. I felt unique, and I didn’t give a rat’s crap if no one liked it.
Jeans and black Army boots were my wardrobe staple too. Sometimes I wore a pleated skirt with fishnet stockings, but I’d learned long ago not to wear skirts too often. Most men didn’t observe my ‘no groping’ boundary.