by Beth Mikell
Rhys still wasn’t mine.
CHAPTER 9 - Present
“Mommy!”
Erin all but flew out of Lisa’s arms, and I snatched her up. I ran for the exit, uncaring of anyone else but my daughter’s safety. Her little arms banded around my neck, squeezing tight. Several firemen directed me out of the building too. A clean wash of night air rushed over me, filling my lungs.
“Are you both okay?”
Rhys was behind me. I winced. I hated to turn around, but it was time to face the music. To come clean. Though we hadn’t reached the topic of Erin, it was clear that he knew.
Slowly, I faced him, clutching Erin tight as if he’d take her from me. We locked eyes. What I saw wasn’t censure or anger, but rather, concern with a touch of softness.
“We’re fine,” I murmured. I could tell he wanted to say more, but Erin eased back, and I looked at her. God, I was so thankful she was safe.
“Mommy, what happened?”
I smoothed her face with my hand. “Just a small fire, baby girl.” She nodded, laying her head on my shoulder.
“I feel sleepy,” she whispered.
I caressed a hand up and down her back. “Rest against me, sweet pea. I’ll take you up to bed soon. Everything is okay now.”
I didn’t believe my words, though. The fire was out, yet I was left with Riven and Maggie’s indiscretion with the fire department at my doorstep. Factor in Rhys’ reappearance in my life, and I wasn’t sure which one scared me more. Before I could think about it, Riven appeared.
Guilt rode his expression. “B, I’m so sorry,” he said in a dejected tone.
I tensed. “Save it, Riven,” I said in an even voice, hoping not to startle Erin. “I can’t have this discussion in front of my daughter. We’ll talk about this on Monday.” Honestly, I didn’t have the nerves to talk about the situation later. I mean, what would I say? A supposed gay man banging a girl wasn’t my business. Then again, they caused a fire with their trashy moves.
As I turned away from Riven, Lisa rushed up and smacked him in the face. I had to get away from here. I couldn’t expose Erin to more. I had always strived to give her a stable life, even if I owned a bar. I didn’t want her to ever look back on her childhood and feel as if she’d missed out on something. Or regret me for a mother. I knew what that was like. My mother had been the kind of woman you never wanted to attend a parent-teacher meeting.
I didn’t know what to do.
“Beretta, come with me.”
I glanced at Rhys, feeling off kilter. I’d never allowed him to be my savior, thinking I could be everything I needed. A real badass. But the truth was… I was falling apart.
“I spoke to the Fire Marshall,” he said. “The fire is out and it’s safe to go back in. Let me take you up to your apartment.”
I couldn’t argue with that, so I led the way.
*****
As I laid Erin down, thankfully she snuggled down with a gentle sigh. Caressing her cheek, I brushed back a stray, dark curl from her forehead. She was so beautiful. I kissed her, then leaned back and adjusted the covers around her.
As I stood, I sensed another presence. I glanced behind me, and I found Rhys watching us from the doorway. Awkward wasn’t enough of a word for how I felt. I knew he’d want to talk, but how would this conversation begin?
I strode closer, and he stepped back as I pulled the door shut. The heat of his body radiated into my skin, making me tremble. I never thought to feel him so close to me again. Every part of me hurt.
He sank a hand into my hair, cupping my neck. “Turn around, baby.”
My eyelids slid together. I took a deep breath. Was this moment where all the pain of the last few years would fall away?
I turned slowly, staring up into his face. My breath caught. He was gorgeous. His green eyes drew me in, pinning me with a swirl of emotions. “Rhys.”
“God, I love you,” he whispered.
He dipped his mouth against mine, teasing my lips apart. A light headed feeling overtook me, and my hands slid up his shoulders to steady the sensation of falling. An internal fire threatened to devour me.
Trembling and unsteady, I sank against him.
CHAPTER 10 - Present
I dragged my lips away, pushing against Rhys’ chest. “Stop, please. I can’t—”
“We have to talk, I know,” he said, his hand lifting my chin, forcing me to look into his incredible eyes.
Exhaling slowly, I tried to move away, but he settled his other hand around my waist.
“I’ve missed you so much, Beretta.”
“It’s late,” I murmured. I couldn’t think with him so close. Some things hadn’t changed. “I think we should save this conversation for tomorrow. I’m too cranky and need sleep.”
A small chuckle rumbled in his chest, finally breaking into a full on grin. He shook his head, caressing my face. His thumb settled on my bottom lip, smoothing over my skin.
“I’d forgotten how stubborn you can be.” He withdrew his hand. “But you’re right. It’s late.”
I missed his touch, but I wouldn’t complain. It was too soon to make demands. I knew we should discuss our past. I said the first thing that came to mind, “I need to check on downstairs.”
“I’ll do it,” he offered. “You go rest. I’ll make sure all the doors are locked and secured.”
With anyone else, I would never be so trusting, but I’d given my heart to this man years ago, so I didn’t worry. I knew he would be true to his word. He never said anything he didn’t mean.
I nodded. “Thank you, Rhys.” I wanted to say more, but I headed to my bedroom. As I got ready for bed, my mind was a jumble of thoughts. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but I hoped that Rhys’ return wasn’t a dream. Then I remembered that he said he loved me.
I spent the next few hours beating myself for walking away from him. For hiding. For keeping Erin a secret. So many regrets jumped to the front of my mind. I’d messed up so badly, how could he still want me?
*****
My eyes blinked open, feeling weird. Not sure why. Though sleep deprived, something felt off. Then I sat up in a rush. The scent of bacon and coffee filled the air.
I scrambled out of bed, forgetting my robe. My short pajamas would have to do. I came face to face with a sight I never thought to see.
Rhys stood cooking while Erin sat at the breakfast bar coloring. Speechless wasn’t enough of a word to cover my shock.
My gaze locked with Rhys, and he smiled. Picking up a mug, he strode toward me, then he handed me the steaming cup.
“Erin and I were just getting acquainted while I made breakfast,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind?”
A chill stormed down my spine. I hadn’t prepared Erin for meeting her father. Heck, for that matter, I wasn’t prepared to see the man I’d loved and lost. I’d filed Rhys away in the never-gonna-happen category long ago. I felt off balance with him here. We hadn’t had a moment to hash out the past, so seeing him this close made me nervous.
As my hands circled the warm coffee mug, I enjoyed the heat skipping up my arms. A shiver curled over my shoulders. “Thank you,” I murmured, still watching him over the top of the mug as delicious coffee splashed over my tongue. “Can I talk to you a second?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
I strode over to Erin. “Baby girl? I’m going to speak to Mr. Rhys a minute. I’ll be back soon.” I kissed her cheek.
Her face split into a grin. “Okay, Mommy.”
She went back to coloring, and I headed toward my bedroom, feeling self-conscious with Rhys behind me. I set my coffee on the dresser as I walk in, then rubbed my arms. The chilled feeling intensified. Finding my robe, I shoved my hands through and tied the belt at my waist before I turned to face Rhys.
I found him leaning against the doorway with a small smile hovering over his lips. I tried not to focus on how handsome he appeared. He’d hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans, cocking his hip to the side. No mat
ter the simplicity of his actions, he’d always managed to excite me.
I said the first words to pop into my mind. “I thought you left.”
He grinned full-on. “After I locked up the bar, I slept on the couch.” He straightened, moving closer. “I wanted to be sure I was here, if you needed anything.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I rubbed them. “Thank you, Rhys, but I think this is happening too fast. This awkward feeling is making me nervous. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do.”
His expression appeared patient. “Please don’t worry. Regardless of how this looks, we need this time, Beretta.” He closed the distance between us. His hands fell on my shoulders, squeezing, as he peered into my eyes. “I’d like to hash out any misunderstandings and find a way to show you how sincere I am. I can’t do that if you send me away.”
I could get lost in his eyes. They were a sea of green fire, and his voice took me through another round of sweet desire. All I could think of was how I’d messed up—how much I regretted my choices. I’d lived without him for five years.
Tears, never so accessible, pricked my eyes. “Rhys, I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have run. I shouldn’t have—”
“Shh,” he whispered, gathering me in his arms. “We’ll work this out, baby.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know how,” I said, snuggling closer. His arms were a place I never thought I’d be again.
He pulled back, tipping my chin up. “Spend the day with me.”
A frown gathered between my eyes. Though it was Sunday, and I usually spent all my time with Erin, the fire last night and the sprinklers going off would need extra attention.
“I have to be back at two,” I said. “My cleaning crew will come, and I need to let them in.”
He caressed my face. “It’s a start, baby.” Then his head lowered.
His kiss was like a homecoming. His tongue tangled with mine. It was beautiful friction. Each lick sent a tingly vibration along my nerves. This was home. A place where desire held us, and I didn’t want to let him go.
CHAPTER 11 - Past
I was late to work, but my boss, Bruno, wasn’t around to give me the ‘stink eye’ and bust me. In all fairness, he was a decent boss, and I did respect his don’t-be-late-without-a-good-fucking-reason rule. I just didn’t think a kiss from my friend’s ex-boyfriend, and a shoe pickup would go over very well.
I settled into my routine behind the bar, serving customers with a smile that I didn’t truly feel. But this was how I handled stress—I stayed busy. I wouldn’t allow myself to think about Rhys or Ashley.
But I didn’t have to. Around ten, Ashley showed up, looking stunning in a little black dress, garnering every man’s attention. Her blonde hair was a mass of blonde curls, and her smile was infectious. I doubted she had a bad hair day. Ever.
“Hey, B. How are you?” Ashley asked in a bubbly tone, taking a seat on a barstool.
She didn’t seem like a woman who had broken up with her boyfriend. I could tell right away, she had already started drinking much earlier. Maybe partying was her way of coping.
“Good. How ‘bout you?” I asked.
She giggled. “Better than I thought I’d be.”
I leaned close, studying her face for any sign of tears, but her makeup was perfect. How she managed it, I had no clue. If I’d lost Rhys, I’d be balling my eyes out.
“Did you bring the shoes?”
I nodded. “Yep.” Everything about this conversation was weird. Maybe Rhys was right. Maybe Ashley was only out for herself. Then again, she’d always been girly and self-centered. Reaching under the bar, I pulled out a shopping bag and hand it to her.
“Rhys told me you broke up.” I had to know. I mean, the guy had kissed me.
Ashley didn’t appear the least bit stunned. She waved off my comment. “It’s just a miss understanding. He’ll come around.” As she finished changing shoes, she said, “Can you hold these for me?”
“Sure.” I took the bag, stowing her shoes under the bar next to my stuff.
“Was Rhys out of sorts today?” she asked. “Is that why you’re mentioning this?”
I leaned close, dropping my voice. “Regardless of a misunderstanding, if you broke up, why didn’t you say anything?” I didn’t exactly answer her.
She rolled her eyes. “Because it’s no big deal, B. He wants to be fully committed, and I’m not ready. I never wanted to be the girl that got engaged while still in college. I want to explore, party, and experience life before settling down with a husband and kids. Why can’t he and I have fun and keep the label of boyfriend-girlfriend?”
“So, things are really over?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, frowning. “Where’s this coming from? Did he say something today?”
When I’d mentioned cleaning his apartment for extra cash, she never blinked an eye. I straightened, grabbing my towel. I started wiping down the bar. “He told me in passing.” I stopped, giving her a glare. “Some warning would have been nice. I thought we were friends?”
“We are, B.” She shrugged. “I’m just figuring this all out as I go. I might regret losing Rhys later, but for now, I’m just going with the flow. If I can’t be upset over losing someone like him… that must mean we were not meant to be, right? Anyway, I’m off to dance,” she said. “Come find me when you have a break, and I’ll introduce you to a couple of my guy friends. You might find one you like.” She winked, taking off.
I seriously doubted that. After enduring several of her parties, the guys that followed her around were lap dogs in heat. I had no desire to become another notch on their belt.
After another hour, Ashley left with a guy on her arm. I was worried about her, and the widening gap in our friendship, but she was seeking her own path. I had to respect that.
Then, I saw Rhys, and my whole world tilted. He stood in front me. Underneath his black, leather jacket, his T-shirt hugged his body. All his muscles were clearly outlined and firm. His dark jeans hugged his hips, and I didn’t have to see his backside to know how delectable it was—I already knew. My eyes knew every inch of him. And my heart had already cleared a spot for him too.
“Beretta,” he whispered.
As I wiped down the counter, I tried not to notice how velvet his voice slid over my name. I loved it. No, I loved him. Everything about him.
“Hi, Rhys. What can I get you?” Keep it casual, I told myself, but my insides were flipping out.
“Bourbon.”
There was a tightness around his eyes and lips. What happened in the hours since I saw him last?
His shoulders sagged forward. He appeared defeatist. Maybe he missed Ashley and regretted the kiss we had shared earlier.
As I poured his drink, he said, “Make it a double.”
He was worse than I thought. Maybe he saw Ashley leave with that guy and regretted his choices. Like kissing me.
I set his glass on a napkin, leaning close. Damn, he smelled divine. Another reason to hate him. His sexy demerits were racking up. “Do you want to talk about it?”
His gaze lifted, and my breath caught. There was so much pain rimming his stunning green eyes.
He looked shattered.
Rhys lifted his glass, a ghost of a smile touching his lips. “To Kellan and his choices.”
Yep, he was pissed at his brother.
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked.
He shook his head, but didn’t say more.
I glanced at my watch. “I’m off in an hour. Do you want to go somewhere and talk?” I knew I shouldn’t have offered, but I couldn’t help myself.
His eyes pierced me with a dark look. “Only if you dance with me first.”
My lips softened with a smile. “I think that can be arranged.”
So, I left him to tend his to his drink, keeping an eye on him as I served other patrons. I couldn’t imagine what his brother had done to set his mood. I was just happy to be the one he ran to when things
looked so dark.
CHAPTER 12 - Past
A thrilling kind of excitement filled me when my shift was over. I knew I’d spend my next few minutes with Rhys. Whatever happened, I wanted to be greedy. I wanted to be with the man that shaped my deepest fantasies—the one who had led my crush from the day I met him. I wouldn’t think. I wouldn’t entertain tomorrow. I’d just live in the moment.
The music was fast and hard as I led him out to the dance floor, but he barely moved. He allowed me to rub, bump, and grind against him.
Finally, he pulled me close, leaving a steamy trail of need where he caressed me. And his thighs were equally seductive, driving me crazy as he knocked between my legs. I had never met a man that held so much seduction over me.
Then he yanked me close and sought my lips. His tongue mingled with mine and fed. It was raw, silky, and hot. A deep moan shook my throat and my hands curled into his T-shirt, yanking him closer. My tongue gave chase, darting across his—one hotter than the music blaring around us. His scent drove me mad, causing me to inhale him down as fast as my lungs would allow. I pressed my body as close.
My nipples tightened harder against the friction of our meshed bodies. I wanted him bad. All over me. Now. To hell with reckless. I needed more. And not here.
I yanked my lips off his. “My place. Now.”
He tilted my chin up, heat edging the depths of his eyes. “Yes.”
Somehow, we made it back to my apartment. We were a tangle of lips and hands as the front door banged shut. Neither of us bothered to ask questions with our clothes falling fast to the floor.
I gasped as the cool air pricked my heated flesh. “More.” As I gazed up into his face, he looked as if he would say something. My finger trailed across his lips. “Shh, keep this simple.”